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Bite Me
- A Love Story
- Narrated by: Susan Bennett
- Length: 8 hrs and 3 mins
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Publisher's summary
"The city of San Francisco is being stalked by a huge, shaved vampyre cat named Chet, and only I, Abby Normal, emergency backup mistress of the Greater Bay Area night, and my manga-haired love monkey, Foo Dog, stand between the ravenous monster and a bloody massacre of the general public. Whoa. And this is a love story? Yup.
"‘Cept there’s no whining. See, while some lovers were born to run, Jody and Tommy were born to bite. Well, reborn, that is, now that they're vampires. Good thing theirs is an undying love, since their Goth Girl Friday, Abby Normal, imprisoned them in a bronze statue. Abby wants to be a blood sucking fiend, too, but right now she’s really busy with other stuff, like breaking in a pair of red vinyl thigh-high Skankenstein® platform boots and wrangling her Ph.D.-candidate boyfriend, Steve (the love monkey). And then there’s that vampire cat Chet, who’s getting bigger and smarter—and thirstier—by the minute. Abby thought she and Steve could handle the kitty cat on their own, mais non."
Before you can say “OMG! WTF?” Tommy and Jody are sprung from captivity, and join forces with Abby, Steve, the frozen-turkey-bowling Safeway crew, the Emperor of San Francisco and his trusty dogs Lazarus and Bummer, Abby’s gay Goth friend Jared, and SF’s finest Cavuto and Rivera to hunt big cat and save the city. And that’s when the fun really begins.
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SO, CLICHE I ALMOST LAUGHED
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 10-10-17
By: Jonathan Maberry
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The Necromancer's House
- By: Christopher Buehlman
- Narrated by: Todd Haberkorn
- Length: 11 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Andrew Ranulf Blankenship is a handsome, stylish nonconformist with wry wit, a classic Mustang, and a massive library. He is also a recovering alcoholic and a practicing warlock, able to speak with the dead through film. His house is a maze of sorcerous booby traps and escape tunnels, as yours might be if you were sitting on a treasury of Russian magic stolen from the Soviet Union thirty years ago.
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Finally - Magic / Fantasy Novel for adults.
- By David on 04-23-14
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Bone Shop
- A Marla Mason Novel
- By: T. A. Pratt
- Narrated by: Jessica Almasy
- Length: 7 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Marla Mason is the chief sorcerer of Felport, a woman who's tangled with gods and monsters and come out on top (if a bit damaged in the process). Bone Shop tells the story of Marla's evolution from runaway to sorcerer's apprentice to mercenary magician and beyond. Fans of the urban fantasy series from Bantam Spectra that began with Blood Engines will find surprising secrets revealed about Marla's past, and new listeners can get to know the character from the very beginning.
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LIKE LIVING IN A FRAT HOUSE
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 07-12-17
By: T. A. Pratt
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Blood Oranges
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- By: Kathleen Tierney
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My name's Quinn. If you buy into my reputation, I'm the most notorious demon hunter in New England. But rumors of my badassery have been slightly exaggerated. Instead of having kung-fu skills and a closet full of medieval weapons, I'm an ex-junkie with a talent for being in the wrong place at the right time. Or the right place at the wrong time. Or…whatever. Wanted for crimes against inhumanity I (mostly) didn't commit, I was nearly a midnight snack for a werewolf until I was "saved" by a vampire calling itself the Bride of Quiet.
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Great Narration, Subpar Book
- By Mel Thomas on 12-17-14
By: Kathleen Tierney
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Zombies: More Recent Dead
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The living dead are more alive than ever! Zombies have become more than an iconic monster for the 21st century: They are now a phenomenon constantly revealing as much about ourselves - and our fascination with death, resurrection, and survival - as our love for the supernatural or post-apocalyptic speculation. Our most imaginative literary minds have been devoured by these incredible creatures and produced exciting, insightful, and unflinching new works of zombie fiction.
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A well blended mix
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By: Neil Gaiman, and others
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All Those Explosions Were Someone Else's Fault
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Kim Lam is an ordinary college student until a freak scientific accident (what else?) transforms Kim and three housemates into Sparks - and drafts them into the never-ending war between the Light and Dark. They struggle to master their new abilities - and (of course) to design cool costumes and come up with great hero-names. Turns out that "accident" was just the first salvo in a Mad Genius's latest diabolical scheme. Now it's up to four newbie heroes to save the day, before they even have a chance to figure out what their team's name should be!
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Great start to a new series!
- By Donaithnen on 11-16-17
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Grave Witch
- Alex Craft Series, Book 1
- By: Kalayna Price
- Narrated by: Emily Durante
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- Unabridged
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Not even death can save her now. As a grave witch, Alex Craft can speak to the dead---she's even on good terms with Death himself. As a consultant for the police, she's seen a lot of dark magic, but nothing has prepared her for her latest case.
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Excellent Story Narrator needs alot more practice
- By Persistant.SNAFU on 07-06-11
By: Kalayna Price
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Glass Houses
- Morganville Vampires, Book 1
- By: Rachel Caine
- Narrated by: Cynthia Holloway
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- Unabridged
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Morganville, Texas, is a small college town filled with quirky characters. But when the sun goes down, the bad come out. Because in Morganville, there is an evil that lurks in the darkest shadows---one that will spill out into the bright light of day.
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Be Aware..
- By Justin on 07-21-09
By: Rachel Caine
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Crimes by Moonlight
- Mysteries from the Dark Side
- By: Charlaine Harris - author/editor
- Narrated by: Natalie Ross
- Length: 12 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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In number-one New York Times best-selling author Charlaine Harris’s "Dahlia Underground,” venerable vampire Dahlia Lynley-Chivers survives an attack by an anti-vampire terrorist group, only to show them they tried to blow up the wrong bloodsucker. Bailey Ruth Raeburn, a ghost assigned to assist humans in trouble, steps into the middle of a marital dispute with surprising twists in Carolyn Hart’s “Riding High”....
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Pleasantly surprised
- By Bonnie on 08-06-11
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John Dies at the End
- By: David Wong
- Narrated by: Stephen R. Thorne
- Length: 14 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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STOP. You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands. NO, don't put it down. It's too late. They're watching you. My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours. You may not want to know about the things you'll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it's too late. You touched the book. You're in the game. You're under the eye. The only defense is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part with the bratwurst. Why?
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Vulgar Funny. 4.95 Sale Win.
- By C Yohe on 11-19-12
By: David Wong
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cool idea ruined by cartoonish narration
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Fluke
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Just why do humpback whales sing? That's the question that has marine behavioral biologist Nate Quinn and his crew poking, charting, recording, and photographing very big, wet, gray marine mammals - until the extraordinary day when a whale lifts its tail into the air to display a cryptic message spelled out in foot-high letters: Bite Me.
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Best way to ruin a good book.
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Noir
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San Francisco 1947: Es kommt nicht jeden Tag vor, dass eine rätselhafte, anmutige Blondine namens Stilton (ja, wie der Käse) in den verlotterten Laden kommt, in dem Sammy "Two Toes" Tiffin Gin ausschenkt. Es ist Liebe auf den ersten Blick. Aber bevor Sammy den ersten Schritt machen kann, betritt ein Air Force General mit einem eiligen Auftrag für ihn den Saloon. Doch Sammy hat eigentlich besseres zu tun: Er arbeitet an einer eigenen Geschäftsidee. Als aber an der Pazifikküste ein unbekanntes Flugobjekt gesichtet wird und Stilton plötzlich spurlos verschwindet, muss er sich seinen dunkelsten Geheimnissen stellen, um seinen Käse zu retten.
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Excellent German Translation and Performance
- By Verena Fuchs on 05-24-21
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Lamb
- The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal
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Overall
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Story
Verily, the story Biff has to tell is a miraculous one, filled with remarkable journeys, magic, healings, kung fu, corpse reanimations, demons, and hot babes. Even the considerable wiles and devotion of the Savior's pal may not be enough to divert Joshua from his tragic destiny. But there's no one who loves Josh more (except maybe "Maggie," Mary of Magdalan) and Biff isn't about to let his extraordinary pal suffer and ascend without a fight.
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Blasphemus or righteous?
- By Timothy on 08-19-08
What listeners say about Bite Me
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall
- Mary
- 04-15-10
Best I've Ever Heard
I love Christopher Moore and have read or listened to all of his books. I'm so glad that I got this one on audiobook! The narrator can make or break the story, and whoever chooses Christopher Moore's narrators does an outstanding job of choosing people who can capture the voice and tone of his writing. With Bite Me, his team has outdone themselves. This is, by far, the most enjoyable audiobook experience I have ever had. It's probably the first time that I actually can't imagine the written word being more enjoyable than the spoken word, although I'll still probably buy the book to complete my Christopher Moore collection.
Christopher Moore is hysterical, and every character is well developed and rings true, and Susan Bennett is brilliant. I agree with the reviewer who said that if you don't enjoy this, you have no sense of humor.
I only wish that the author wrote faster. I hate waiting for his next book to come out. I'm also going to look for other books narrated by Susan Bennett.
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4 people found this helpful
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Overall
- David
- 03-28-11
Great Story...OutSTANDING Narrator
Easily the best Moore romp yet. Wonderful writing, fresh laugh out loud situation. But what really makes the book is Susan Bennett's gifted narration. Probably the best ever...in both this book and "You Suck."
Outstanding. Irreverent...FUN!
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2 people found this helpful
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
- Mark Hancock
- 01-15-17
Melancholy Smile
Don't want to give anything away, but I remembered some sadness when reading the book when it first came out, & now I'm remembering why. 'Nuff said about that.
Another excellent book by Christopher Moore, a favorite author. But this time I also want to give major props to Susan Bennett, who inhabits each character so originally & with style & charm. As Jodi, I fell in love (& lust) with her, as The Emperor, I wanted to buy her and "the men" a sub sandwich and something to drink, as Abby, I wanted to wring her neck & wrap her in a bear hug in equal parts, and it goes on & on. Audible sometimes errs when recording series by changing narrators, & I'm so grateful Ms Bennett was able to continue throughout all three books. She grew on me as much as the characters. Well done to Mr Moore, Ms Bennett, & Audible!
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2 people found this helpful
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Overall
- Kaya Inu
- 10-17-10
Best Narrator
Susan Bennett is the best narrator ever and I wish she would do a lot more books so I could buy them. I tried listening to a Kim Harrison book with another narrator and I just cringed at how awful it was compared to Susan Bennett--I had to turn it off. It was a pleasure listening to the Christopher Moore books thanks to Ms. Bennett's flawless performances.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall
- tina
- 07-29-10
Great
This book was very entertaining. So much that I suggested my daughter give a listen. She loved it too. The difference in our ages is 23 years and we both enjoyed it. You can't go wrong with this book, if you want a light and fun listen.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall
- Matthew
- 05-09-10
Listen to the audio sample first!
I found the narrator extremely entertaining and thoroughly enjoyed the clever dialogue in this book. I can see how others might find her annoying though.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall
- Pamela J
- 07-23-10
Great conclusion to an outrageous series
Christopher Moore is wicked funny and the narrator amazing! Good for adults not easily offended by language and sexual situations who sometimes like to talk like naughty high-school students. Enjoy.
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Overall
- Steven
- 05-30-10
Susan Bennett is FAB
I've enjoyed all of Christopher Moore's work and I can't imagine anyone but Susan Bennett narating this story. This is a great follow-up to the 2 previous books.
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Overall
- Rudy
- 07-22-10
They did it again!
I really enjoy Christopher Moore's books in general, and his first two parts of this vampire trilogy (so far?) in particular, so I had high hopes for Bite Me. He nailed it. And maybe even more importantly, Susan Bennett nailed it! This is the first review I've written, but I had to rave about the Moore/Bennett combination. She does an outstanding job bringing to life all of the various characters populating Moore's world, but I am particularly blown away by how well she translates Abby's slang-y, angst-y personality so vividly. I'm sure that this book is a fun read, but I'd highly recommend getting the audiobook version just to hear Susan Bennett's reading of Abby. Moore & Bennett are a great combo.
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Overall
- Felicia
- 07-30-10
FUN!
Review: I listened to this book on audiobook and laughed out loud (or LOL as Abby would put it) so many times that I think my co-workers thought I lost my mind. The story itself is really well paced, has the right amount of sardonic humor, and the characters are very true to themselves. It is a love story at heart but there is so much going on that you sometimes forget that. I know that a book about vampires and evil vampire cat's named Chet does not seem like it would be a good read but trust me when I say you won't be disappointed. My only problem, and this just might be with the audio version, is the number of different main POV's. It was a little hard to follow at times but it was easy to catch up. I loved the ending, I thought it was perfect for this book.
WARNING: If you have a problem with foul language or acronym language (LOL, OMFG, OMG, etc) this is not the book for you :)
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