Bite Me

A Love Story

By: Christopher Moore

Narrated by: Susan Bennett

"The city of San Francisco is being stalked by a huge, shaved vampyre cat named Chet, and only I, Abby Normal, emergency backup mistress of the Greater Bay Area night, and my manga-haired love monkey, Foo Dog, stand between the ravenous monster and a bloody massacre of the general public. Whoa. And this is a love story? Yup.

"‘Cept there’s no whining. See, while some lovers were born to run, Jody and Tommy were born to bite. Well, reborn, that is, now that they're vampires. Good thing theirs is an undying love, since their Goth Girl Friday, Abby Normal, imprisoned them in a bronze statue. Abby wants to be a blood sucking fiend, too, but right now she’s really busy with other stuff, like breaking in a pair of red vinyl thigh-high Skankenstein® platform boots and wrangling her Ph.D.-candidate boyfriend, Steve (the love monkey). And then there’s that vampire cat Chet, who’s getting bigger and smarter—and thirstier—by the minute. Abby thought she and Steve could handle the kitty cat on their own, mais non."

Before you can say “OMG! WTF?” Tommy and Jody are sprung from captivity, and join forces with Abby, Steve, the frozen-turkey-bowling Safeway crew, the Emperor of San Francisco and his trusty dogs Lazarus and Bummer, Abby’s gay Goth friend Jared, and SF’s finest Cavuto and Rivera to hunt big cat and save the city. And that’s when the fun really begins.

©2010 Christopher Moore (P)2010 HarperCollins Publishers

Critic reviews

"Moore’s most hysterical ‘love story’ to date." ( Booklist)

k-so this book is frickin hilarious!

I literaly wet myself I was laughing so hard.

Mr Moore has outdone himself, and I dont think any other narrater than Susan Bennett could have done this reading justice.

Listen to this one on the weekend. If your at work or in the car your going to get some strange looks when you burst out laughing.

BEST NARRATOR! HILARIOUS!

Narrator does such a great job of breathing life into the characters. The plot wasn't as exciting as the other 2 books and the ending could have been better. The parts of the audiobook with "Abbey" were the best, I laughed out loud every time!

Give it a chance. You will not regret it.

I almost turned this off after a few minutes because I found the dialog of Abby a little disorienting (and honestly irritating); however, being a Christopher Moore fan I decided to hold out. I am so very glad that I did. Once the set up is in place the book is a wonderful listen. The story is funny and original, the reader is incredible and the overall experience is one of the best.

enjoyed series immensely

loved it. storyline was amazing. narrative was awsome. very funny. kept me wanting more. Christopher Moore is a very talented author.

•-:¦:-•:*♥" Loved It "♥*:•.-:¦:-•

I've been a hardcore fan of the Christopher Moore's books for years. I have read everything he has published...he is the cult writer of comic horror. Be warned: there is always plenty of x-rated, off-color, politically incorrect humor in Christopher Moore's writing. I just think he does it really well, and the boundaries are fairly inclusive of everyone and everything.

"Bite Me: A Love Story" is the second book of his that I've listened to. I definitely have my Christopher Moore favorites, which includes the Vampire Love Story series, starting with "Bloodsucking Fiends: A Love Story" and "You Suck: A Love Story". "Bite Me"...the latest installment... is in my opinion the best of the three. It is not simply funnier, it is darker and has much more depth as well. The book is full of wacky characters (they will be familiar if you have read or listened to the first two books) yet most of them have an authentic center that reaches out to the listener. "Bite Me"'s initial narration gives a great recap of the first two books through the journal entries of Abigail Von Normal, the Vampires' minion and "Emergency Back-up Mistress of the Greater Bay Area Night". The book is brilliant in capturing the voice and the vernacular of an irreverent high school girl with the bold style of a Goth fashionista. The performance by Susan Bennett (especially of Abby) was remarkable and extremely engaging with the entire myriad of characters. It was an exceptional performance.

The plot is very funny and strange, but also intricate and involved. I was very entertained and did not want the book to end. It is a book I could easily listen to again...which is rare. I hope their might be another installment.

/jae

Susan Bennett's narration steals the show.

Would you consider the audio edition of Bite Me to be better than the print version?

I am a huge fan of Christopher Moore, but "You Suck," and "Bite Me" have to be my favorites. A major reason for that is the hilarious narration of the character Abby Normal by Susan Bennett. I have listened to many, many audio books, and these are on the top of my list. And of course, being Moore novels, the stories are highly entertaining. I have told my husband that he MUST read this series, BUT when he gets to the 2nd and 3rd books, I am insisting that he listens to them - the narration is that good.

What other book might you compare Bite Me to and why?

"You Suck," - same author and narrator

Which character – as performed by Susan Bennett – was your favorite?

Abby Normal

Who was the most memorable character of Bite Me and why?

Abby Normal and the Emperor. And Chet the huge, shaved cat.

FUNNY AND INTERTAINING

I love this audio book, it is engaging, pulling you in and making you laugh at unexpected times, I drive for a living and had to pull over several times as it made me laugh, Susan Bennett did an amazing job on this book and the other two in the series

Fair Story with Great Character

Not one of Christopher Moore's better books but Abby Normal is one of his best characters.

the performance was delicious

to the author... BART doesn't come above ground in The City...that's the MUNI METRO...no one says "the SOMA district"...it's just SOMA. you can't run a foundry on the ground floor of an apartment building...good characterization of the marina 😉

I wrote a fan letter!

I have never sought out a author and thanked him for the laugh before. He even wrote back! Very, Very funny book and for me to say it was well read by Susan Bennett would be in no way do her justice. She is like a total genius with the characters, you feel like your making the movie in your head. "Like Totally OMG, OMG" inside joke.

Guur!!! LOL OUT

PS
The Kona character should of spoken Hawaiian Pigeon English.