Damn Shame

A Memoir of Desire, Defiance, and Show Tunes

By: David Pevsner

Narrated by: David Pevsner

A funny, daring, bawdy, and incredibly honest memoir from the anti-ageist, anti-body shaming, pro-sex advocate and erotic provocateur.

Over the course of his 35-year career in show business, David Pevsner has done it all. He’s acted on Broadway, off-Broadway, in independent films, and on numerous TV network shows including Grey’s Anatomy, Modern Family and Criminal Minds.

As he continues his career in entertainment, Pevsner has also dedicated himself to exploring his deepest sexual fantasies. In his late 30s, he became a mature male escort, and over the last several years has attracted a large international fan base through his blog of erotic photographs celebrating nudity and sexuality.

Damn Shame is David Pevsner’s incredible story and is a passionate and poignant look at one man’s journey from a thin, shy boy ashamed of his body and sexuality to a defiant, fearless everyman exploring his erotic desires, everything from leather and S&M to nude/erotic/hardcore modeling. Along the way, he fights back against society’s demonization of gay sex, body shaming, and ageism, while pursuing his own very personal definition of success and seeking love, validation, and self-esteem.

Damn Shame gives a loud and powerful voice to a generation of mature men who have been conditioned to believe from society (and especially younger members of the gay community) that they are sexually irrelevant, old, and undesirable. Pevsner’s life story goes in directions that many couldn’t imagine, but the lessons learned through his experiences will resonate with listeners of every age.

©2022 David Pevsner (P)2022 Random House of Canada

Critic reviews

“[An] entertaining debut. . . . These heartfelt meditations on sexual shame in a heteronormative culture will enlighten readers of all identities.” —Publishers Weekly

“I loved David’s journey to zero shame about his body, his sexuality and himself. Damn Shame has my ideal combo of racy, illuminating and idiosyncratic storytelling that transports you into a stranger’s life and mind. And—or beware—there is a lot of penis!” —Alan Cumming, actor and author of Baggage: Tales from a Fully Packed Life

“In Damn Shame, David Pevsner guides us through a wonderfully appealing chronicle of his life as a performer, writer, sex worker, nude model and a gay guy making his way on his own terms. Rather than oversharing, he’s a delightful host to the most entertaining adventures.” —Paul Rudnick, actor and author of Jeffrey

How can you write something that comes straight from the heart is read by the guy who wrote it?

How I found out about this actor/human being From a client of mine who want me to feel OK with me being a bit of a sex worker. I did find it rather interesting. At times repetitive, but if nothing else it came straight from the heart of the sky. When I recommended the book to other friends, quite a few of them or I have met that guy. They all had their own unique opinion about him. But I applaud him for putting it all out there and holding true to himself in his coming of age story. Which I think he still has some more growth ahead of him. Perhaps one day I’ll actually get to meet him. They’ll be running completely different circles from what I can tell. And I have a case I would recommend the audiobook. Those strangely the pictures are not included in this audiobook. I had to go and download and purchase the actual book to be able to look at the pictures. Maybe it was an oversight on the companies part. I said enjoy the book.

A very honest and open book that entertains, educates, and might even shock… but what a fascinating journey

The song MY WAY came to mind while reading this book. David Pevsner is the embodiment of that song. I truly enjoyed this honest book that tackles some very difficult issues many of us face. Fear, shame, self loathing, accepting ourselves, being true to ourselves, saying this is me and I’m tired of hiding. It brings up important issues like sex and sexuality and why are people so uncomfortable with it. David has lived quite a life and he has much to share if people can relax enough to hear it. He tells us of his life as an actor, an entertainer, a songwriter, a playwright, a sexual being, an escort, a model and several other jobs along the way. He is a man of many talents, he is a man of passion. David isn’t saying you should live your life his way, he’s just telling us his journey. He’s saying you should live your life YOUR way, whatever way YOU want, as long as you don’t hurt anyone intentionally. But live your life without the shame that so many do. David is a fighter. A fighter for openness and honesty, for living authentically and proudly. David doesn’t understand why there’s such shame around sex. This book may not be for everyone. If you don’t care for graphic talk about body parts and things that people do with those parts…beware. David talks about it all and he talks about it explicitly. But that’s his point, he doesn’t see why you should be squeamish about it. Why it should be so hush hush. David’s journey is fascinating. He’s a talented man. He isn’t the first talented man or woman in show business, or in any business, who became an escort when times got tough. He’s just one of the rare ones who admits it. He not only admits it but he admits it proudly. He wasn’t always so open about it but that’s part of his journey that is so fascinating. And it’s only one part. The skinny little boy who thought he’d never be considered attractive until he started going to the gym and the muscles started to grow and other boys began to notice…and he began to like it…a lot. The shame he felt because he liked it and the journey that led him to letting go of that shame. David tackles homophobia, ageism, perfectionism, shame, bullying and many other topics in his honest and open book. I found it fascinating and freeing and brave.

A wonderfully honest memoir

I found this book so engaging and enjoyed hearing from the author about his journey. It was different yet so relatable to my own ongoing effort to lose the shame and enjoy the process of self discovery.

Fantastic!

Well, listening to this book blew me (in a good way! Lol) away. I think this should be required reading/listening. Thank you Mr. David Pevsner. Going to buy the “hard” copy now, for reference! Peace and Joy :)

He Doth Protest Too Much

I enjoyed this book very much. It is (for the most part, honest), frank, explicit, and very entertaining. Both gay men and theatre people will find many of the circumstances described in the book amusingly familiar. Pevsner’s journey is certainly a compelling one and his theatre stories and allusions are delightful fun. But the book is not for the faint-hearted, as it is unapologetically sexually explicit. The one thing I do find dishonest about the book is Pevsner’s constant mention of his overriding desire in life to find that one special man with whom to connect and love, when many of his actions were so obviously counterproductive to achieving that objective.

Loved it!

David’s interesting and sexy, shameless life is inspiring and entertaining! I loved having him in my ear telling me all about his life. I miss him already and will seek out other books he’s narrated. Great book, terrific guy, interesting life story.

A story for everyone

Funny. Candid. Moving. Unflinchingly honest in its depiction of life as a young gay man, but universal in it’s themes of letting go of shame and accepting yourself. This feels like a story for every person. I was really moved and touched by David’s journey. Highly recommended.

Really enjoyed this book!

David Pevsner is a very talented writer! ‘Damn Shame’
Is a poignant and honest memoir! Excellent!

Getting to the heart of the matter

I didn't know anything about David Pevsner until I saw him in Scrooge and Marley, a retelling of Dickens's A Christmas Carol, from a modern, gay perspective. I liked his performance, and when I saw this book, was interested enough to find out more about him to purchase it.

Some criticize the book as being narcissistic. Maybe, toward the end it becomes a little self-absorbed. But I think for gay men, there's a lot here to identify with, and from which to gain some insight into our own personal histories. I think many of us have, and do experience similar childhood awakenings, fantasies, and insecurities. Pevsner does a good job or recounting them, and taking it forward into how those might have affected our adult lives.

Pevsner is nothing if not an excellent story teller. And narrator. Had I read this off the printed page, I doubt I'd have enjoyed it nearly as much. His tone, cadence, and little asides here and there kept the content flowing smoothly and at times were laugh-out-loud funny. I wasn't bored for even a moment during this book. His story, his observations, and his narration kept me fully interested and engaged. My personal experiences were different, but I found much I could identify with, and ponder.

It certainly takes a certain level of ego to spend your life in show business, and sure, some of it leaks out into the book. That's fine. That's who he is.

I liked the chapters being titled for Broadway (and off Broadway) shows. Cute and clever how he used them to illuminate and illustrate his own experiences. And how his experiences can help illuminate our own.

Some of the song lyrics he's written over the years are worked into the book. He's not Oscar Hammerstein, but his ditties are definitely cute and clever.

One complaint I have about the audio version is that early on he makes reference to the photographs in the book. Naturally, there are none in the audio version. But I would have liked there to have been a pdf download version associated with the book, as I've seen with some other audios that I've purchased.

The Life

I became familiar with David Pevsner from his role in the beloved off-Broadway revue When Pigs Fly, where (among many other things) he played a unforgettable centaur. Like that show, this book is fun, funny, moving, and lovable... but it is also wickedly explicit (the Damn Shame version of that sweet centaur would surely sport an additional purple appendage). Pevsner bares and shares all, from a confused and vulnerable childhood, college experiments and epiphanies, becoming a gym hunk with a varied acting and writing career (I had not known he wrote songs for the hit Naked Boys Singing, but it certainly fits), to his work as an escort, erotic model, and gay rights and body positivity activist, all told with endearing sincerity and ribald wit. The only quibble is I think the final few impassioned chapters could have used a stronger editing hand... but I will admit a pang of sadness as the book ended, to be saying goodbye to this sweet and naughty commute companion. Mr. Pevsner says that in all his work, be it family fare or x-rated, he's looking to make a connection; he certainly succeeds in Damn Shame.