Disarming the Narcissist (Third Edition)

Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed

By: Wendy T. Behary LCSW, Jeffrey Young PhD - foreword, Daniel J. Siegel MD - preface

Narrated by: Joana Garcia

Do you know someone who is overly arrogant, shows an extreme lack of empathy, or exhibits an inflated sense of entitlement? Do they exploit others or engage in deluded thinking? These are all traits of narcissistic personality disorder, and when it comes to dealing with narcissists, it can be difficult to get your point across. So, how do you handle the narcissistic people in your life? You might interact with them in social or professional settings, and you might even love one - so ignoring them isn't really a practical solution.

Now a self-help classic, Disarming the Narcissist is a practical, step-by-step communication guide to help you cope with and confront the narcissist in your life. Based on fan feedback, this fully revised and updated third edition features new information on shame, hypersexuality, and infidelity in narcissism; legal information to help you if you are divorcing a narcissist; and the impact of narcissism on children.

With this how-to guide, you'll learn how to separate yourself from a narcissist's traps and gain the respect and validation you deserve - while side-stepping unproductive power struggles and senseless arguments with someone who is at the center of his or her own universe. Finally, you'll learn how to set limits with your narcissist and when it's time to draw the line on unacceptable behavior.

©2021 Wendy Behary (P)2021 Tantor

Male reader here

I like that this book talks about strategic methods to empathizing with and correcting your narcissist. But I didn’t know it might expose me as one to myself. I never felt like a narcissist I don’t feel like I’m bad at empathy or self reflection. Being aware of these strategies and hopefully being able to have my partners support we can use this book to Grow past the petty narcissism and into a healthy communicative relationship.

In-depth, refined, excellent.

There are critical reviews stating this book can make a situation worse by encouraging someone not to avoid a narcissist. I don’t believe that is true. This book gives great advice and knowledge about narcissistic traits and disorders. It also draws a line and gives clear instructions for how to recognize a relationship that should end.

Learned so much!

It was difficult listening to this because I had no idea I was married to a Covert Narcissist for 13 years. I wish I listened to this before my divorce. I may have been able to avoid much of the abuse, pain, confusion, and constant gaslighting. Please read this for your sanity!

Helpful Explication

Lived with narcissists for years and years without realizing until this book laid it out. They don’t choose to have their brains wired the way they are and that has to be kept in mind as one dances the careful dance around their triggers and landmines.

fantastic book. VoiceOver talent not so good.

The authors have done an excellent job with this book. The content is excellent and comes from a place of empathy and understanding rather than taking a coldhearted textbook approach. The book is helpful for those going through the experience of dealing with a narcissist as well as those wanting to better understand the spectrum of the diagnosis. The voice-over talent has much to be desired, however. The pace is extremely slow, and the individual's voice is cold. I put it on 1.5 speed and it became a lot more tolerable.

wisdom

this book was full of knowledge. it broke down so much about behavior and patterns

Not done yet but…

I am definitely determined to finish this book. The material is personally very important for me, I’m dealing with narcissists in my life, both at work and home, but the performance of the reader is definitely not pleasant. Perhaps it’s just me, but she reads like a robot, much like one of the automated voices in your iPhone, or android, stiff and stoic. This is very much unlike the book I just finished the highly sensitive person by Elaine Aaron, the reader there was so engaging in her style and tone.

So helpful

I am in my third relationship with a narcissist and not quite ready to leave yet. This book not only gave me great tools for navigating the relationship, but also enough information that I hope to avoid any further relationships with narcissists.

Comes handy

Happy I read this book. Learned a lot about how to communicate in the most difficult situations with narcissist without giving in.

Didn’t want it to end

I wasn’t expecting much since this was a free download but this was one of the best reads/listens I’ve had on here. As a “why” person, I struggle to accept things that cannot be explained logically. That is why I have been in a toxic relationship with my husband for 20 years & can’t just leave. It hadn’t made sense to me why he is so critical of everything I do & just downright mean, but it did destroy my self-esteem in the process & I am now to the point where I have to leave whether it makes sense or not. For starters, this book kept my attention which can be hard to do since I am someone with ADHD, PTSD & my mind is always everywhere but on the task at hand. That is because everything in the book made sense…logically. The psychology behind narcissism is fascinating & I now have my “why” & even some answers about myself. I would love a follow up on how it all intertwines & the psychological changes in the narcissist’s partner. The only thing I would change is the long-winded rebuttals of reasoning. Even though what the author is saying makes perfect sense & is what you should do, narcissists spit venom & most won’t let you get out even the first couple of words. Effective, shorter responses that can be continued if your narc is actually listening would be more helpful in my situation. I can’t say this book will save my marriage, but as an empath to a fault, it will certainly help with my anger & thinking twice before I try to ruin him in court, which could also hurt my children. It even has me considering trying these techniques with him when I have been done, done & unwilling to make any changes myself for years. It also has allowed me to give myself some grace & showed me that I do not deserve how I’ve been treated. Whatever it is, this book is going to be a catalyst to me attempting to save my marriage (& knowing it is time to walk away if my attempts don’t work) or finally getting me out the door. Highly recommend.