Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook
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Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook
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Narrated by:
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Scott Adams
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By:
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Scott Adams
About this listen
Why do all modern managers do the same bizarre things? Are these methods taught in business schools? Do managers learn by watching more experienced managers? Is it the result of mentoring?
None of the above!
Every manager learns from the same source: Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook. This valuable management handbook teaches new managers how to transform themselves from bitter and bewildered "little people" into fully functioning, paradigm-spewing management zombies.
In this indispensable guide, Dogbert reveals the many vital skills needed by managers in their daily lives, including:
The power of verbal instructions-sound like a boss while maintaining complete deniability!
Empty promises of promotion-enjoy all the motivational benefits with none of the costs!
Pretending to care-learn to hear without listening!
Company newsletter-communicate without the risk of conveying information!
Competition-experience the joy of setting your people against one another!
Decision making-be a leader without making any decisions!
Incentives-inspire employees by giving them worthless knick-knacks!
Remember: Leadership isn't something you're born with. It's something you learn by listening to Dogbert tapes.
A world-class consultant and bestselling author, Dogbert has spent much of his life giving advice to gullible people with disposable incomes. His brain has many more crevices than yours, so you'd better do what he says.
©1996 HarperCollins Publishers, Inc., All Rights Reserved, Harper Audio, a division of HarperCollins Publishers (P)1996 HarperCollins Publishers, Inc., All Rights Reserved, Harper Audio, a division of HarperCollins PublishersListeners also enjoyed...
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Editorial reviews
The Dilbert books have been successful because author Adams hits the "hot button," as well as the funny bone, of anyone who's ever worked for a corporation. This book presents the world of work from the manager's perspective. Adams's voice sounds like the guy in the cubicle next to yours, who has learned to deal with corporate bureaucracy while poking fun at it. With just the right touch of sarcasm in his narration, Adams will have you laughing while you're shouting, "He's right!" Adams wins the Management Guru award hands down.
Critic reviews
"Adams' voice sounds like the guy in the cubicle next to yours, who has learned to deal with corporate bureaucracy while poking fun at it. With just the right touch of sarcasm in his reading, Adams will have you laughing." (AudioFile)
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3 out of 5 stars
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Narrator doesn’t get Backman’s satire or rhythm
- By joey1603 on 12-01-24
By: Fredrik Backman, and others
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The Best Man's Ghostwriter
- By: Matthew Starr
- Narrated by: Glen Powell, Nicholas Braun, Ashley Park, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 37 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,307
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,268
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,268
A bad best man’s speech can ruin a wedding. Why do we plan every detail of a perfect day and then give the groom’s idiot best friend five minutes of total power? Enter Nate (Glen Powell), a speechwriter-for-hire who helps people write incredible best man speeches. To keep the best man from embarrassing himself (and the newlyweds), Nate uses his list of don’ts: Don’t mention the exes, don’t be rated R, and don’t bum everyone out. Nate’s system never fails. That is, until he meets Dan (Nicholas Braun).
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5 out of 5 stars
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SO GOOD
- By Csutty on 09-23-24
By: Matthew Starr
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Born a Crime
- Stories from a South African Childhood
- By: Trevor Noah
- Narrated by: Trevor Noah
- Length: 8 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 215,369
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 194,839
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Story5 out of 5 stars 193,870
In this award-winning Audible Studios production, Trevor Noah tells his wild coming-of-age tale during the twilight of apartheid in South Africa. It’s a story that begins with his mother throwing him from a moving van to save him from a potentially fatal dispute with gangsters, then follows the budding comedian’s path to self-discovery through episodes both poignant and comical.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great book and perfect narration
- By MarilynArms on 12-15-16
By: Trevor Noah
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Slaughterhouse-Five
- By: Kurt Vonnegut
- Narrated by: James Franco
- Length: 5 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 19,015
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 16,998
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 16,973
Traumatized by the bombing of Dresden at the time he had been imprisoned, Pilgrim drifts through all events and history, sometimes deeply implicated, sometimes a witness. He is surrounded by Vonnegut's usual large cast of continuing characters (notably here the hack science fiction writer Kilgore Trout and the alien Tralfamadorians, who oversee his life and remind him constantly that there is no causation, no order, no motive to existence).
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4 out of 5 stars
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Don't Quit Your Daytime Job, James
- By Keith on 11-20-15
By: Kurt Vonnegut
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The Great Indoors
- By: Ginny Hogan
- Narrated by: Mae Whitman
- Length: 3 hrs and 53 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 408
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 401
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Story4 out of 5 stars 401
Alice's journey begins as all good journeys do: hitting on the sales guy at REI. After a tumultuous breakup, a quick career transition, family upheaval, and a sobriety journey that didn't fix her life quite as much as she expected it to, Alice decides that the only way to solve all her problems is to hike the Pacific Crest Trail. But as she begins preparing for the months-long quest, she realizes the answers she's seeking might not be on top of a snow-covered mountain. Especially since she just learned there was snow in California.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Chuck full of laughs to lift anyone's spirits.
- By Laura Boogaert on 09-22-24
By: Ginny Hogan
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1 out of 5 stars
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What a scam total waste of money 
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What listeners say about Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
-
Story4 out of 5 stars
- Josiah Richardson
- 04-08-20
Helpful tips on ruling your underlings
It isn't easy being sadistic. for some people though it comes naturally, and although he would argue that is simply the pragmatic way of things, Dogbert is sadistic in his own ways. If you too, are interested in learning how to be..er.. pragmatic with your employees, then this is the management handbook for you.
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-
Overall4 out of 5 stars
- Kapila Wimalaratne
- 01-29-03
Funny because it's true
It's a worry that Scott Adams' humourous
observations seems to be so grounded in
everyday reality. You have a good laugh,
but then a terrible sense of dread settles
over you when you reflect on the state of
the world - I find it's better not to do
this and just laugh. :-)
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4 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
-
Story4 out of 5 stars
- Rebecca C. Obrien
- 09-26-20
A Great Audio of Pure Dilbert Goodness!
(You should just look at above title, but I must write 15 words to meet audible's review word count.)
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