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Foreskin's Lament
- A Memoir
- Narrated by: Shalom Auslander
- Length: 7 hrs
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Publisher's summary
Foreskin's Lament reveals Auslander's youth in a strict, socially isolated Orthodox community, and recounts his rebellion and efforts to make a new life apart from it. Auslander remembers his youthful attempt to win the "blessing bee" (the Orthodox version of a spelling bee), his exile to an Orthodox-style reform school in Israel after he's caught shoplifting Union Bay jeans from the mall, and his 14-mile hike to watch the New York Rangers play in Madison Square Garden without violating the Sabbath. Throughout, Auslander struggles to understand God and His complicated, often contradictory laws. He tries to negotiate with God and His representatives: a day of sin-free living for a day of indulgence, a blessing for each profanity. But ultimately, Auslander settles for a peaceful cease-fire, a standoff with God, and accepts the very slim remaining hope that his newborn son might live free of guilt, doubt, and struggle.
Auslander's combination of unrelenting humor and anger renders a rich and fascinating portrait of a man grappling with his faith, family, and community.
Critic reviews
“Fierce, funny, and subversively heartfelt...With his middle finger pointed at the heavens and a hand held over his heart, Auslander gives us Foreskin’s Lament. Mazel tov to him. And God? Well, he’ll survive.” (New York Times Book Review)
“A laugh-out-loud quarrel with God.” (Newsweek)
“A terrific book I was sad I read in so few sittings, because I wanted more.” (San Francisco Chronicle)
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By: Wendy Lawless
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How to Be an American Housewife
- A Novel
- By: Margaret Dilloway
- Narrated by: Laural Merlington, Emily Durante
- Length: 7 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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How to Be an American Housewife is a novel about mothers and daughters and the pull of tradition. It tells the story of Shoko, a Japanese woman who married an American GI, and her grown daughter, Sue, a divorced mother whose life as an American housewife hasn't been what she'd expected. When illness prevents Shoko from traveling to Japan, she asks Sue to go in her place. The trip reveals family secrets that change their lives in dramatic and unforeseen ways.
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big disappointment
- By Kirsten on 04-12-12
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May We Be Forgiven
- By: A. M. Homes
- Narrated by: Andy Paris
- Length: 20 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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May We Be Forgiven, a darkly comic novel of 21st-century domestic life, stars Harold Silver, a historian who's always been jealous of his successful brother, George. But when the hot-tempered George is institutionalized for committing a violent act, Harold finds himself comforting his brother's wife and children. What follows is a scathing examination of a family so fractured it may never be whole again.
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Give this one a try!
- By JWB on 02-13-13
By: A. M. Homes
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The Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club
- True Tales from a Magnificent and Clumsy Life
- By: Laurie Notaro
- Narrated by: Hillary Huber
- Length: 5 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Introducing Laurie Notaro, the leader of the Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club. Every day she fearlessly rises from bed to defeat the evil machinations of dolts, dimwits, and creepy boyfriends - and that's before she even puts on a bra. For the past 10 years, Notaro has been entertaining Phoenix newspaper readers with her wildly amusing autobiographical exploits and unique life experiences.
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Sweet and funny
- By Julia Valentin on 12-19-20
By: Laurie Notaro
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I'll Be There
- By: Holly Goldberg Sloan
- Narrated by: Laura Jennings
- Length: 9 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Emily Bell believes in destiny. To her, being forced to sing a solo in the church choir - despite her average voice - is fate: because it's while she's singing that she first sees Sam. At first sight they are connected. Sam Border wishes he could escape, but there's nowhere for him to run. He and his little brother, Riddle, have spent their entire lives constantly uprooted by their unstable father. As Sam and Riddle are welcomed into the Bells' lives, they witness the warmth and protection of a family for the first time.
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Needs to be a film!
- By TreasureHunter on 06-25-16
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God-Shaped Hole
- A Novel
- By: Tiffanie DeBartolo
- Narrated by: Rachael Warren
- Length: 10 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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When Beatrice Trixie Jordan replies to a personal ad, she meets Jacob Grace, a charming, effervescent 30-something free-spirit writer passionately seeking life. He possesses his own turns of phrase and ways of thinking and feeling that dissonantly harmonize with Trixie's off-center vision. As they rollercoaster through the joys and furies of their wrenching romance, they try to come to terms with the hurt brought about by both of their distant fathers who, in different ways, forsook them.
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To see a fortune teller or not to see one...
- By Renee on 08-08-18
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Saints for All Occasions
- A Novel
- By: J. Courtney Sullivan
- Narrated by: Susan Denaker
- Length: 15 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Nora and Theresa Flynn are 21 and 17 when they leave their small village in Ireland and journey to America. Nora is the responsible sister; she's shy and serious and engaged to a man she isn't sure that she loves. Theresa is gregarious; she is thrilled by their new life in Boston and besotted with the fashionable dresses and dance halls on Dudley Street. But when Theresa ends up pregnant, Nora is forced to come up with a plan - a decision with repercussions they are both far too young to understand.
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The narration ruined it
- By Janis Reynolds on 06-12-17
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In the Country
- Stories
- By: Mia Alvar
- Narrated by: Nancy Wu, Don Castro
- Length: 13 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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These nine globe-trotting, unforgettable stories from Mia Alvar, a remarkable new literary talent, vividly give voice to the women and men of the Filipino diaspora. Here are exiles, emigrants, and wanderers uprooting their families from the Philippines to begin new lives in the Middle East, the United States, and elsewhere - and sometimes turning back again.
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My introduction to Filipino literature and culture
- By Amazon Customer on 03-28-16
By: Mia Alvar
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Too Close to the Falls
- A Memoir
- By: Catherine Gildiner
- Narrated by: Allyson Johnson
- Length: 11 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Welcome to the childhood of Catherine McClure Gildiner. It is the middle of the 1950s in Lewiston, New York, a small and sleepy American town very near Niagara Falls. No one is divorced. Mothers wear high heels to the beauty salon and children pop Pez candy and swing from vines over a local gorge. But at the tender age of four, it becomes clear to her Cathy's parents that their rambunctious daughter is no ordinary child and they soon put her "to work" at her father's pharmacy.
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Brilliant and funny and touching.
- By Kindle Customer on 11-07-19
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If I am Missing or Dead
- A Sister's Story of Love, Murder, and Liberation
- By: Janine Latus
- Narrated by: Shelly Frasier
- Length: 8 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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In April 2002, Janine Latus' youngest sister, Amy, wrote a note and taped it to the inside of her desk drawer. "Today Ron Ball and I are romantically involved", it read, "but I fear I have placed myself at risk in a variety of ways. Based on his criminal past, writing this out just seems like the smart thing to do. If I am missing or dead this obviously has not protected me...."
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All About Janine
- By Ellen on 07-02-07
By: Janine Latus
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Shalom Auslander was raised like a veal in a dysfunctional family in the Orthodox community of Monsey, New York: the son of an alcoholic father; a guilt-wielding mother; and an overbearing God. Now, as he reaches middle age, Auslander begins to suspect that what plagues him is something worse, something he can't so easily escape: a story. The story. One implanted in him at an early age, a story that told him he is fallen, broken, shameful, disgusting, a story we have all been told for thousands of years, and continue to be told by the religious and secular alike, a story called "Feh."
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Good, really good
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Darkly humorous and a little disturbing
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Seventh Seltzer has done everything he can to break from the past, but in his overbearing, narcissistic mother's last moments he is drawn back into the life he left behind. At her deathbed, she whispers in his ear the two words he always knew she would: "Eat me." This is not unusual, as the Seltzers are Cannibal-Americans, a once proud and thriving ethnic group, but for Seventh, it raises some serious questions, both practical and emotional.
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Funniest, wildest, craziest stuff I have ever listened to.
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Eine Vorhaut klagt an
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Shalom Auslanders Jugend ist geprägt von einem schrecklichen Respekt vor Gott...
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Our fearless author, A. J. Jacobs, tackles a new intellectual adventure, an exploration of the most influential book in the world: the Bible. He determined that the best way to explore the Bible was to live it, as literally as possible. For one year.
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Excellent... But tongue in cheek
- By Jonathan on 12-04-07
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Mike and Denise Williams had a tight knit, seemingly unbreakable bond with childhood friends, Brian and Kathy Winchester. The two couples were devout, hardworking Baptists who lived perfect, quintessentially Southern lives. Their friendship seemed ironclad. That is, until December 16, 2000, when Denise’s husband Mike disappeared while duck hunting on Lake Seminole. After no body was found, everyone assumed that Mike had drowned in a tragic accident, his body eaten by alligators. But things took an unexpected turn when Brian Winchester divorced his wife and married Denise.
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Normalizing spousal murder???
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Shalom Auslander was raised like a veal in a dysfunctional family in the Orthodox community of Monsey, New York: the son of an alcoholic father; a guilt-wielding mother; and an overbearing God. Now, as he reaches middle age, Auslander begins to suspect that what plagues him is something worse, something he can't so easily escape: a story. The story. One implanted in him at an early age, a story that told him he is fallen, broken, shameful, disgusting, a story we have all been told for thousands of years, and continue to be told by the religious and secular alike, a story called "Feh."
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Good, really good
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The rural town of Stockton, New York, is famous for nothing: No one was born there, no one died there, nothing of any historical import at all has ever happened there, which is why Solomon Kugel, like other urbanites fleeing their pasts and histories, decided to move his wife and young son there. To begin again. To start anew. But it isn't quite working out that way.
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Darkly humorous and a little disturbing
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Funniest, wildest, craziest stuff I have ever listened to.
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Our fearless author, A. J. Jacobs, tackles a new intellectual adventure, an exploration of the most influential book in the world: the Bible. He determined that the best way to explore the Bible was to live it, as literally as possible. For one year.
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Excellent... But tongue in cheek
- By Jonathan on 12-04-07
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Guilty Creatures
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Mike and Denise Williams had a tight knit, seemingly unbreakable bond with childhood friends, Brian and Kathy Winchester. The two couples were devout, hardworking Baptists who lived perfect, quintessentially Southern lives. Their friendship seemed ironclad. That is, until December 16, 2000, when Denise’s husband Mike disappeared while duck hunting on Lake Seminole. After no body was found, everyone assumed that Mike had drowned in a tragic accident, his body eaten by alligators. But things took an unexpected turn when Brian Winchester divorced his wife and married Denise.
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What listeners say about Foreskin's Lament
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- cameron
- 03-27-19
Best book I've listened to in a long time
This book is funny throughout, thoughtful, and clever. Shalom Auslander is a great author and narrator.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Julie
- 08-27-16
Funny with a side of wry
Loved it overall and especially Auslander's dry narration. Totally worth the purchase. Can't wait to listen to his other book.
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- Abbie
- 06-22-23
Shoutout to all my fellow foreskins out there!
So if you’re in the mood for a book that’s themes focus predominantly on not if, but when, the metaphorical/metaphysical shoe will drop then this will be a good read for you! Every chapter is hilariously uncomfortable and unapologetically pessimistic! If you enjoy very dark humor You’ll Laugh bitterly through every page of this literary gem. Reading Auslander’s memoir makes me feel so damn seen! I can’t help but relate to feeling crippling level of cynicism towards most people places and things. It’s inspiring to see an artist turn their trauma/pain inside out . This book embodies the meaning of that old phrase“if I don’t laugh I’ll cry”!
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- Kevin Kilner
- 01-06-24
Hysterical Odyssey of a Flawed Hero Escaping a Dark & Loveless Orthodoxy
The funniest (laughed out loud throughout) odyssey of a human born into a violent household, an orthodoxy that he figures out for its hypocrisies & abuses, and how he escapes to create a new, honest, life, family and find the understanding & love we’re all in search of of. A fascinating memoir of survival & re-birth.
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Overall
- Suze Weinberg
- 01-16-08
Sad & intense
Well...while there were some very humerous parts, this was one hell of a sad and intense story about a very sad and intense young man.
I don't think it upset me as much that he hated his parents and the way he was raised (being Jewish myself !) but his anger at God and the name calling was a dead giveaway at how troubled and conflicted Shalom is.
Yet...oddly - while disavowing his heritage he still chooses to keep his given name (not Anglicize it)which highly identifies him as a Jew and he still suffers from tons of "Jewish Guilt".
I hope his own son is able to get through the world in one piece !!!
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3 people found this helpful
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- Annette
- 08-20-12
Awesome. God is out to get us.. well, him at least
There are people who write as they talk (Sedaris comes to mind) and perform they're work perfectly. There are those who just get in the way. This story was perfectly read. Like military service, religion binds us together against a common enemy sometimes...and Shalom goes the distance with the humor that shows us why the bonds run so deep and produce the best humor. There are those who say all humor is from pain - only the really good stuff. It's not Portnoy's Complaint... but in all honesty, i listened to it through a crown and two fillings and actually LAUGHED during that. I'm not even making that up. A favorite listen by far.
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2 people found this helpful
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Overall
- J. Beardsley
- 06-13-08
Foreskin's Lament
Shalom Auslander's recollection of growing up in the Orthodox Jewish world of Monsey, New York is absolutely hysterical. Listening to it on a slow day at work, I found myself laughing out loud.
As a young boy and then young man Shalom engages in the dialog that all Jews will recognize - that conversation with G*d about how to navigate reality and what it all means. His mother's parenting is framed by the her abstraction from reality and obsession with keeping kashrut and the spector of death. His impatient, frustrated, bitter alcoholic father's parenting skills extend to beating Shalom and his brother for their suspected sins and transgressions; of which there are plenty. The rigid insular world of the religious Orthodox, (lacking the mystical joy of the 18th century Hasidim), quickly becomes too confining for a maturing, self-reflective Auslander. He finds himself neck-deep in trayf, porn, and engaged in the search for self. A great read! I highly recommend this book.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Justine
- 06-16-11
Great book
I never feel moved to read books or see movies more than once. I know that I will listen to this book again. It feels like a friend. The kind you meet somewhere random, end up talking to the whole night. And you're amazed how much you have in common, although you really don't have much in common. I love this book. I particularly love that it is read by the author - I don't think anyone else could have done it justice.
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1 person found this helpful
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- jdcmontana
- 03-19-19
Best 7 hours I've had in ages.
So damn funny... and poignant and sad and touching and so damn funny. No review I could write would be able to describe how enjoyable it was to listen to this book. His writing style is thoroughly entertaining and his delivery spot on. Literally laugh-out-loud-holy-shit funny.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Kindle Customer
- 01-08-23
Really good
Serious and funny at the same time. I do recommend it. I've learned that catholics and Jews share some experiences.
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1 person found this helpful