Housebroken
Admissions of an Untidy Life
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Housebroken
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Narrated by:
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Laurie Notaro
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By:
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Laurie Notaro
About this listen
Number-one New York Times best-selling author Laurie Notaro isn't exactly a domestic goddess - unless that means she fully embraces her genetic hoarding predisposition, sneaks peeks at her husband's daily journal, or has made a list of the people she wants on her Apocalypse Survival team (her husband's not on it). Notaro chronicles her chronic misfortune in the domestic arts, including cooking, cleaning, and putting on Spanx while sweaty (which should technically qualify as an Olympic sport).
Housebroken is a rollicking new collection of essays showcasing her irreverent wit and inability to feel shame from defying nature in the quest to make her own Twinkies, to begging her new neighbors not to become urban livestock keepers, to teaching her eight-year-old nephew about hobos.
©2016 Laurie Notaro (P)2016 Dreamscape Media, LLCListeners also enjoyed...
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Laurie Notaro has proved everyone wrong: she didn’t end up in rehab, prison, or cremated at a tender age. She just went gray. At past fifty, every hair’s root is a symbol of knowledge (she knows how to use a landline), experience (she rode in a car with no seat belts), and superpowers (a gray-haired lady can get away with anything). Though navigating midlife is initially upsetting—the cracking noises coming from her new old body, receiving regular junk mail from mortuaries—Laurie accepts it. And then some.
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Laurie Notaro is married, mortgaged, and now - miraculously - employed in the corporate world, discovering that bosses come in all shapes, sizes, and degrees of mental stability. After maxing out her last good credit card at Banana Republic, she's dressed for success and ready to face the jungle: surviving feral, six-foot-plus Gretchen ("The Three Thousand Faces of Eve") before battling the overbearing, overstuffed (in way-too-small pants) new mom Suzi....
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The Good Luck Girls of Shipwreck Lane
- By: Kelly Harms
- Narrated by: Reay Kaplan, Suehyla El-Attar
- Length: 10 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 683
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 613
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 612
When their lives and personalities intersect, however, they discover that more than just a million-dollar dream home awaits them at the water’s edge. These three women (oh yes, Aunt Midge comes along for the ride!) arrive at their newfound mansion only to uncover what exactly it means to truly be "home." Filled with wit and charm, The Good Luck Girls of Shipwreck Lane is Kelly Harms's enchanting and heartfelt debut - a testament to the many, many ways love finds us, the power of a home-cooked meal, and just what it means to be lucky.
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3 out of 5 stars
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good plot but the swearing was too much for me
- By Arianne on 02-13-20
By: Kelly Harms
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Confessions of a Carb Queen
- A Memoir
- By: Susan Blech, Caroline Bock
- Narrated by: Aimee Jolson
- Length: 8 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 101
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 89
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Story4 out of 5 stars 90
By the time Susan Blech was 38 years old, she weighed a staggering 468.1 pounds. She binged. She was "only a little chubby," or so she convinced herself. Gripping, sometimes shocking, and ultimately inspiring, Confessions of a Carb Queen is the story of how Susan changed her life to save her life, ultimately losing 250 pounds without surgery. Susan speaks candidly about eating binges, fat sex, and other topics no obese person has dared to address.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Negative reviews are ridiculous.
- By Heather Marie on 01-07-16
By: Susan Blech, and others
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Catering to Nobody
- By: Diane Mott Davidson
- Narrated by: Barbara Rosenblat
- Length: 8 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,155
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 985
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 982
Even though working a wake isn’t Goldy Bear’s idea of fun, the Colorado caterer throws herself into preparing a savory feast featuring Poached Salmon and Strawberry Shortcake Buffet designed to soothe forty mourners. Her culinary efforts seem to be exactly what the doctor ordered … until her former father-in-law, gynecologist Fritz Korman, is struck down—and Goldy is accused of adding poison to the menu.
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3 out of 5 stars
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So, so bad...and yet...
- By Scarlett on 10-16-14
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The Story of Arthur Truluv
- A Novel
- By: Elizabeth Berg
- Narrated by: Elizabeth Berg
- Length: 6 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,375
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 1,202
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,196
Three people find their way back from loss and loneliness to a different kind of belonging in this deeply moving novel. Arthur, an old widower struggling to overcome his grief, meets Maddy, a troubled teenage girl who avoids school by hiding out where Arthur goes every day for lunch. The two strike up a friendship that draws them out of isolation.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Sickly Sweet
- By Amazon Customer on 01-19-18
By: Elizabeth Berg
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Stories I'd Tell in Bars
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster, John Fletcher
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 365
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 325
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Story4 out of 5 stars 322
Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Older, but not wiser, Lancaster goes back to basics in this hilarious essay collection about everything from taking community policing classes to accidentally getting high with her waiter after a fancy dinner. These are the tales she'd tell if she met you in a bar... if she weren't too lazy to put on pants and go to a bar. Offering advice ranging from how to remain happily married to a man who refuses to blow his damn nose already to not creating An Incident at the cheese counter during an attempt at Whole30, she's you, only louder.
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2 out of 5 stars
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self absorbed
- By D D H on 06-15-19
By: Jen Lancaster
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Cooking as Fast as I Can
- A Chef’s Story of Family, Food, and Forgiveness
- By: Cat Cora
- Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell
- Length: 7 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 64
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 55
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 57
In Cooking as Fast as I Can, Cat Cora reveals, for the first time, coming-of-age experiences from early childhood sexual abuse to the realities of life as a lesbian in the Deep South. She shares how she found her passion in the kitchen and went on to attend the prestigious Culinary Institute of America and apprentice under Michelin-star chefs in France. After her big break as a cohost on the Food Network's Melting Pot, Cat broke barriers by becoming the first-ever female Iron Chef.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great listen for a chef
- By Nikki on 04-10-24
By: Cat Cora
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Isle of Palms
- A Lowcountry Tale, Book 3
- By: Dorothea Benton Frank
- Narrated by: Robin Miles
- Length: 18 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 999
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 915
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 909
Dorothea Benton Frank is a treasure of American letters with numerous New York Times best-sellers to her credit and a portfolio full of critical acclaim. “Mixing high drama and high jinks” ( Booklist), her third Lowcountry novel follows the fortunes of the dysfunctional Abbot family. Looking to set her life aright, Anna Lutz Abbot returns to her South Carolina lowcountry hometown. And as she attempts to right past wrongs, Anna receives help and support from a quirky cast of lovable locals sure to endear themselves to listeners.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A feel good story
- By Sheryl on 02-04-13
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Notes on a Banana
- A Memoir of Food, Love, and Manic Depression
- By: David Leite
- Narrated by: David Leite
- Length: 11 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 53
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 48
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Story4 out of 5 stars 46
Reminiscing about the people and events that shaped him, David looks back at the highs and lows of his life, from his rejection of being gay and his attempt to "turn straight" through Aesthetic Realism, a cult in downtown Manhattan, to becoming a writer, cookbook author, and web publisher, to his 23-year relationship with Alan, known to millions of David's readers and listeners as "The One", which began with (what else?) food.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Finished it in a day!
- By Kathryn on 08-23-17
By: David Leite
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May We Be Forgiven
- By: A. M. Homes
- Narrated by: Andy Paris
- Length: 20 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 167
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 146
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Story4 out of 5 stars 145
May We Be Forgiven, a darkly comic novel of 21st-century domestic life, stars Harold Silver, a historian who's always been jealous of his successful brother, George. But when the hot-tempered George is institutionalized for committing a violent act, Harold finds himself comforting his brother's wife and children. What follows is a scathing examination of a family so fractured it may never be whole again.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Give this one a try!
- By JWB on 02-13-13
By: A. M. Homes
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The Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club
- True Tales from a Magnificent and Clumsy Life
- By: Laurie Notaro
- Narrated by: Hillary Huber
- Length: 5 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 68
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 61
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Story4 out of 5 stars 61
Introducing Laurie Notaro, the leader of the Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club. Every day she fearlessly rises from bed to defeat the evil machinations of dolts, dimwits, and creepy boyfriends - and that's before she even puts on a bra. For the past 10 years, Notaro has been entertaining Phoenix newspaper readers with her wildly amusing autobiographical exploits and unique life experiences.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Sweet and funny
- By Julia Valentin on 12-19-20
By: Laurie Notaro
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Everything Is Awful
- And Other Observations
- By: Matt Bellassai
- Narrated by: Matt Bellassai
- Length: 6 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,042
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 954
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Story4 out of 5 stars 950
From the break-out star of BuzzFeed and the People's Choice Award-winning comedian comes a collection of hilariously anguished essays chronicling awful moments from his life so far, the humiliations of being an adult, and other little indignities. Matt Bellassai has no idea what he's doing. Well, to be fair, he did become semi-Internet famous by getting drunk at work, making him a socially-acceptable - nay - professional alcoholic. He's got some things figured out. But the rest is all just a terrible, disgusting mess.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Best Audio Book I’ve heard ever.
- By M on 11-23-17
By: Matt Bellassai
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Death al Dente
- Food Lovers' Village Mystery Series, Book 1
- By: Leslie Budewitz
- Narrated by: Rebecca Mitchell
- Length: 9 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 131
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 118
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Story4 out of 5 stars 118
The town of Jewel Bay, Montana - known as a Food Lovers' Village - is obsessed with homegrown and homemade Montana fare. So when Erin Murphy takes over her family's century-old general store, she turns it into a boutique market filled with local delicacies. But Erin's freshly booming business might go rotten when a former employee turns up dead.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Four and a half stars
- By Beatrice on 05-01-17
By: Leslie Budewitz
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The Christmas Pearl
- By: Dorothea Benton Frank
- Narrated by: Celia Weston
- Length: 3 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 441
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 372
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 368
Theodora is the matriarch of a family that, in her opinion, has grown into a bunch of truculent knuckleheads. They've all come together to South Carolina to celebrate Christmas. But this Christmas looks nothing like the extravagant, homey Christmases Theodora grew up with.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Never too old to learn or to love
- By Debbie on 12-20-13
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I Regret Nothing
- A Memoir
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster
- Length: 9 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 411
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 368
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 364
New York Times best-selling author Jen Lancaster has lived a life based on re-invention and self-improvement. From Bitter Is the New Black to The Tao of Martha, she’s managed to document her (and her generation’s) attempts to shape up, grow up, and have it all - sometimes with disastrous results...Mistakes are one thing; regrets are another. After a girls’ weekend in Savannah makes her realize that she is - yikes! - middle-aged (binge watching is so the new binge drinking), Jen decides to make a bucket list and seize the day.
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3 out of 5 stars
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The Smug Is Strong With This One
- By T. Filowitz on 05-24-15
By: Jen Lancaster
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My Planet
- Finding Humor in the Oddest Places
- By: Mary Roach
- Narrated by: Angela Dawe
- Length: 4 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 580
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Performance3.5 out of 5 stars 532
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Story4 out of 5 stars 527
Follow New York Times best-selling author Mary Roach - but be careful not to trip - as she weaves through personal anecdotes and everyday musings riddled with her uncanny wit and amazingly analytical eye. These essays, which found a well-deserved home within the pages of Reader's Digest as the column "My Planet," detail the inner workings of hypochondriacs, hoarders, and compulsive cheapskates. (Did we mention neurotic interior designers and professional list makers?) For Roach, humor is hidden in the most unlikely places, which means that nothing is off limits.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Narrator drove me crazy
- By Ann on 04-23-14
By: Mary Roach
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Stir
- My Broken Brain and the Meals That Brought Me Home
- By: Jessica Fechtor
- Narrated by: Jessica Fechtor
- Length: 6 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 50
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 43
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 44
At 28, Jessica Fechtor was happily immersed in graduate school and her young marriage and thinking about starting a family. Then one day she went for a run, and an aneurysm burst in her brain. She nearly died. She lost her sense of smell and the sight in her left eye and was forced to the sidelines of the life she loved. Jessica's journey to recovery began in the kitchen as soon as she was able to stand at the stovetop and stir. There, she drew strength from the restorative power of cooking and baking.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Wonderful powerful read
- By Amazon Customer on 01-13-24
By: Jessica Fechtor
What listeners say about Housebroken
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Carlie
- 07-28-16
Wonderful
Wonderfully read by one of my favorite authors! Fantastic collection of stories just like all of Laurie Notaro's essay books! PS the novels are great too!
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2 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Quack
- 07-17-21
Funny
I very much enjoyed this book, and found the story to be humorous and witty; I would recommend it to anyone who enjoys a good laugh. However, the page after page of recipes being read was a bit much. I understand why the author included them in the actual book, but I would have been perfectly okay with them being skipped over by the person who did the audio rendition. I ended up fast forwarding through all of that portion.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Renee
- 08-25-16
Amusing
The main character sounds like a fun person, someone I think I could be friends with. The description of Eugene Oregon makes me want to visit. Fun book overall.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Lori Raymond
- 08-21-16
Pure Enjoyment with Secret Life Lessons Tossed In
I laughed, I cried. I laughed until I cried. The narration makes it truly great.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- debbie ortiz
- 08-09-16
Housebroken
Housebroken is a book of laugh out loud essays!
It is a pleasant compilation of everyday life material that we can all relate to. These are conversations that you would feel safe having with your best friends.
The author reads this book on Audible which makes it even funnier. It is as if she is your best friend .
So funny and particularly nice to read in short time spans.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Jeanene Brewer
- 03-21-17
Entertaining!
Laurie Notaro is an entertaining author. I always have a great laugh and recommend her work to anyone who can laugh at themselves!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Maureen Castellon
- 08-04-16
Amazing
As a huge fan since Fat Bride, this book is my new favorite with hilarious stories and narration.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- M. Maxwell
- 01-19-22
Laughed until I thought I had a bladder leak
Great story so much like my own untidy life . And the conversations with her spouse sound like the ones I have with mine. I actually asked him if he wrote this book under an assumed name.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
- Kelly
- 11-27-18
Love Laurie
There is no such thing as a bad Laurie Notaro book. Loved that she is her own narrator for this.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Kayla Kneisl
- 08-28-19
Witty humor on point!
I loved the stories but I loved them even more knowing Laurie was the one telling them. The chapter about Laurie and her husband cooking together had me in tears from laughing so hard! Great book!
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