How Trust Works
The Science of How Relationships Are Built, Broken, and Repaired
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Narrated by:
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Keong Sim
About this listen
"In this age of diminishing trust in public figures, this audiobook offers highly useful guidance about how to trust and withhold trust more thoughtfully." - AudioFile
From the world's leading expert on trust repair, a guide to understanding the most essential foundation of our relationships and communities.
When our trust is broken, and when our own trustworthiness is called into question, many of us are left wondering what to do. We barely know how trust works. How could we possibly repair it?
Dr. Peter H. Kim, the world’s leading expert in the rapidly growing field of trust repair, has conducted over two decades of groundbreaking research to answer that question. In How Trust Works, he draws on this research and the work of other social scientists to reveal the surprising truths about how relationships are built, how they are broken, and how they are repaired. Dr. Kim’s work shows how we are often more trusting than we think and how easily our trust in others can be distorted. He illustrates these insights with accounts of some of the most striking and well-known trust violations that have occurred in modern times and unveils the crucial secrets behind when and why our attempts to repair trust are effective, and which breaches of confidence are just too deep.
How Trust Works transforms our understanding of our deepest bonds, giving us the tools to build strong and supportive relationships on every level. With our families, coworkers, and friends. With the groups, organizations, and institutions that touch our lives. And even with societies and nations.
A Macmillan Audio production from Flatiron Books.
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"Written with wit and compassion, How Trust Works brims with insights about our judgements of others' actions and the ways that our intuitions can sometimes lead to irrational conclusions. With enormous implications for individuals, businesses, and society, this is an eye-opening read for anyone who wishes to understand human behavior and relationships."—David Robson, author of The Intelligence Trap and The Expectation Effect
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To the modern mind, the idea of honor is outdated, sexist, and barbaric. It evokes Hamilton and Burr and pistols at dawn, not visions of a well-organized society. But for philosopher Tamler Sommers, a sense of honor is essential to living moral lives. In Why Honor Matters, Sommers argues that our collective rejection of honor has come at great cost. Reliant only on Enlightenment liberalism, the United States has become the home of the cowardly, the shameless, the selfish, and the alienated. Properly channeled, honor encourages virtues like courage, integrity, and solidarity.
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A critical, yet seemingly impossible, topic!
- By Anonymous User on 03-10-20
By: Tamler Sommers
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Moral Tribes
- Emotion, Reason, and the Gap Between Us and Them
- By: Joshua Greene
- Narrated by: Mel Foster
- Length: 14 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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A pathbreaking neuroscientist reveals how our social instincts turn Me into Us, but turn Us against Them - and what we can do about it. The great dilemma of our shrinking world is simple: never before have those we disagree with been so present in our lives. The more globalization dissolves national borders, the more clearly we see that human beings are deeply divided on moral lines - about everything from tax codes to sexual practices to energy consumption - and that, when we really disagree, our emotions turn positively tribal.
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Good Science, Bad Philosophy
- By Jacob on 10-27-16
By: Joshua Greene
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Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me): Third Edition
- Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts
- By: Carol Tavris, Elliot Aronson
- Narrated by: Carol Tavris, Elliot Aronson
- Length: 12 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Renowned social psychologists Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson take a compelling look into how the brain is wired for self-justification. When we make mistakes, we must calm the cognitive dissonance that jars our feelings of self-worth. And so we create fictions that absolve us of responsibility, restoring our belief that we are smart, moral, and right - a belief that often keeps us on a course that is dumb, immoral, and wrong. Backed by years of research and delivered in energetic prose, Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me) offers a fascinating explanation of self-deception.
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If you're a liberal hater - this book's for you
- By MRN on 11-13-20
By: Carol Tavris, and others
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Leadership BS
- Fixing Workplaces and Careers One Truth at a Time
- By: Jeffrey Pfeffer
- Narrated by: Mike Chamberlain
- Length: 7 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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In Leadership BS Jeffrey Pfeffer shines a bright light on the leadership industry, showing why it's failing and how it might be remade. He sets the record straight on the oft-made prescriptions for leaders to be honest, authentic, and modest; tell the truth; build trust; and take care of others. By calling BS on so many of the stories and myths of leadership, he gives people a more scientific look at the evidence and better information to guide their careers.
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Antidote to Bromides from Leadership Gurus
- By Sean Lannan on 09-23-15
By: Jeffrey Pfeffer
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Friend and Foe
- When to Cooperate, When to Compete, and How to Succeed at Both
- By: Adam D. Galinsky, Maurice E. Schweitzer
- Narrated by: Tom Perkins
- Length: 9 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall
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In Friend and Foe, researchers Galinsky and Schweitzer explain why this debate misses the mark. Rather than being hardwired to compete or cooperate, humans have evolved to do both. It is only by learning how to strike the right balance between these two forces that we can improve our long-term relationships and get more of what we want.
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Unexpected
- By Garron Rose on 01-05-16
By: Adam D. Galinsky, and others
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Big Gods
- How Religion Transformed Cooperation and Conflict
- By: Ara Norenzayan
- Narrated by: Paul Nixon
- Length: 8 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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How did human societies scale up from small, tight-knit groups of hunter-gatherers to the large, anonymous, cooperative societies of today - even though anonymity is the enemy of cooperation? How did organized religions with "Big Gods" - the great monotheistic and polytheistic faiths - spread to colonize most minds in the world? In Big Gods, Ara Norenzayan makes the surprising and provocative argument that these fundamental puzzles about the origins of civilization are one and the same, and answer each other.
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Great read
- By paro on 02-27-24
By: Ara Norenzayan
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The Death of Right and Wrong
- Exposing the Left's Assault on Our Culture and Values
- By: Tammy Bruce
- Narrated by: Tammy Bruce
- Length: 11 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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A woman of contradictions, "a gun-toting, lesbian, feminist, voted-for-Reagan activist", Tammy Bruce is standing in line to become the next Ann Coulter. The "left wing" is engaged in an enormous conspiracy to make moral values relative, to undercut pride and patriotism in our country, to destroy Christian ideology at any cost, to pollute the minds of our youth by means of leftist professors who rewrite history, and to hijack the justice system through morally bankrupt trial lawyers.
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A thoughtful analytical review of moral relativism
- By Book and Movie Lover on 07-26-04
By: Tammy Bruce
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Noise
- A Flaw in Human Judgment
- By: Daniel Kahneman, Olivier Sibony, Cass R. Sunstein
- Narrated by: Jonathan Todd Ross
- Length: 13 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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From the best-selling author of Thinking, Fast and Slow, the co-author of Nudge, and the author of You Are About to Make a Terrible Mistake! comes Noise, a revolutionary exploration of why people make bad judgments, and how to control both noise and cognitive bias.
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Disappointing
- By Z28 on 05-31-21
By: Daniel Kahneman, and others
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A Time to Build
- From Family and Community to Congress and the Campus, How Recommitting to Our Institutions Can Revive the American Dream
- By: Yuval Levin
- Narrated by: Ford Enlow
- Length: 6 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Americans are living through a social crisis. Our politics is polarized and bitterly divided. Culture wars rage on campus, in the media, social media, and other arenas of our common life. And for too many Americans, alienation can descend into despair, weakening families and communities and even driving an explosion of opioid abuse. Left and right alike have responded with populist anger at our institutions, and use only metaphors of destruction to describe the path forward: cleaning house, draining swamps. But, as Yuval Levin argues, this is a misguided prescription.
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Incisive and Illuminating
- By Jakob on 01-26-23
By: Yuval Levin
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5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life
- Identifying and Dealing with Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Other High-Conflict Personalities
- By: Bill Eddy
- Narrated by: Tom Parks
- Length: 5 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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When a high-conflict person has one of five common personality disorders - borderline, narcissistic, paranoid, antisocial, or histrionic - they can lash out in risky extremes of emotion and aggression. And once an HCP decides to target you, they're hard to shake. But there are ways to protect yourself. Using empathy-driven conflict management techniques, Bill Eddy, a lawyer and therapist with extensive mediation experience, will teach you to spot warning signs of the five high-conflict personalities in others and in yourself.
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This book should be required reading.
- By JGM on 05-07-18
By: Bill Eddy
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Moral Politics
- How Liberals and Conservatives Think, 3rd Edition
- By: George Lakoff
- Narrated by: Fajer Al-Kaisi
- Length: 13 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
When Moral Politics was first published two decades ago, it redefined how Americans think and talk about politics through the lens of cognitive political psychology. Today, George Lakoff's classic text has become all the more relevant, as liberals and conservatives have come to hold even more vigorously opposed views of the world, with the underlying assumptions of their respective worldviews at the level of basic morality.
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extremely insightful. awful to get through.
- By Dave on 05-09-18
By: George Lakoff
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Willful Blindness
- Why We Ignore the Obvious at Our Peril
- By: Margaret Heffernan
- Narrated by: Margaret Heffernan
- Length: 11 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Margaret Heffernan argues that the biggest threats and dangers we face are the ones we don't see - not because they're secret or invisible, but because we're willfully blind. A distinguished businesswoman and writer, she examines the phenomenon and traces its imprint in our private and working lives, and within governments and organizations, and asks: What makes us prefer ignorance? What are we so afraid of? Why do some people see more than others? And how can we change?
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How Not to Be the Blind Leading the Blind
- By Cynthia on 06-29-13
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The Science of Good and Evil
- Why People Cheat, Gossip, Care, Share, and Follow the Golden Rule
- By: Michael Shermer
- Length: 2 hrs and 21 mins
- Abridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In The Science of Good and Evil, psychologist and science historian Michael Shermer explores how humans evolved from social primates into moral primates, how and why morality motivates the human animal, and how the foundation of moral principles can be built upon empirical evidence. Along the way he explains the implications of scientific findings for fate and free will, the existence of pure good and pure evil, and the development of early moral sentiments among the first humans.
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Read by author
- By Gregory A. Townsend on 04-16-23
By: Michael Shermer
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The Language of Trust
- By: Michael Maslansky
- Narrated by: Michael Maslansky
- Length: 7 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Still struggling through the financial crisis that began in 2008, consumers aren't buying traditional sales approaches anymore. So how do salespeople, corporate communicators, managers, and marketers sell their ideas, products, and services to a generation of customers who are more skeptical and less influenced by conventional marketing than ever before?
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Are you communicating or just talking?
- By Shawn on 11-08-10
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Loved it!
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This was a great introduction into healing your inner child
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A Curious Mind (Expanded Edition)
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In this specially combined edition with a new foreword, Academy Award–winning producer Brian Grazer and acclaimed author Charles Fishman blend their insights from bestselling books A Curious Mind and Face to Face to transform the art of connecting with and through curiosity. A Curious Mind Expanded invites you to consider your personal journey of human connection.
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Lots of anecdotes, little substance
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In The Influential Mind, neuroscientist Tali Sharot takes us on a thrilling exploration of the nature of influence. We all have a duty to affect others - from the classroom to the boardroom to social media. But how skilled are we at this role, and can we become better? It turns out that many of our instincts - from relying on facts and figures to shape opinions, to insisting others are wrong or attempting to exert control - are ineffective because they are incompatible with how people's minds operate.
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Loved it!
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Child development expert Ellen Galinsky challenges widely held assumptions about adolescents and offers new ways for parents and others to better understand and interact with them in a way that helps them thrive.
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So glad I took the time to listen & learn
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Imagine a world where your brain can be interrogated to learn your political beliefs, your thoughts can be used as evidence of a crime, and your own feelings can be held against you. A world where people who suffer from epilepsy receive alerts moments before a seizure, and the average person can peer into their own mind to eliminate painful memories or cure addictions.
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As much as we all might wish that mental health problems, with their elusive causes and unsettling behaviors, simply did not exist, millions of people suffer from them, sometimes to an extreme extent. Many others face addiction to alcohol and other drugs, as overdose and suicide deaths abound. Yet the vast majority of doctors receive minimal instruction in treating these conditions during their lengthy medical training.
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When John O'Leary was nine years old, he was almost killed in a devastating house fire. With burns on 100 percent of his body, O'Leary mustered an almost unimaginable amount of inner strength just to survive the ordeal. The insights he gained through this experience and the heroes who stepped into his life to help him through the journey - his family, the medical staff, and total strangers - changed his life. Now he is committed to living life to the fullest and inspiring others to do the same.
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Lovely person to listen to
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With camera in hand, Raboteau goes in search of birds, fluttering in the air or painted on buildings, and ways her children may safely play in city parks while avoiding pollution, pandemics, and the police. She ventures abroad to learn from indigenous peoples, and in her own family and community discovers the most intimate meanings of resilience. Raboteau bears witness to the inner life of Black women/motherhood, and to the brutalities and possibilities of cities, while celebrating the beauty and fragility of nature.
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A Book for Our Time
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Extra Easy Keto
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As seen on NBC’s Today show and the cover of Woman’s World magazine, Stephanie Laska shares her secrets to losing 140 pounds. If you want to lose weight on a keto-ish diet while having a life, this is the book for you. There are no complex math equations or “ridonculous” ketogenic rules to follow—think simple and stress-free! Whether you want to start a keto diet fresh or need help getting over a weight-loss hump, Stephanie Laska is here to help you begin in an Extra Easy Keto way.
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Absolutely phenomenal book
- By Judith Powell on 05-17-23
By: Stephanie Laska
What listeners say about How Trust Works
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- BottomLine
- 08-19-23
I DID KNOW
…now I understand. I have no idea how you decided to put this nonfiction into words? However, thank you. I now need a hardcopy to read those words myself. I think you might need to write a second book as an example: Watching US with SK & J…
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- Anna
- 09-16-23
How To Fix Trust That Is Broken
“Regardless of who we are or where we were born, we all know what it means to have our trust broken.” - Peter Kim
I want to recommend a wonderful book by my former USC professor, Peter Kim. The book explores the matters of trust-building and violation on individual, societal, cultural, and institutional levels. While I don’t love the design of the cover, this is one of those instances when you can't judge a book by its cover. It is well-written, thoughtful, and thought-provoking. I felt privileged to learn intimate details about Professor Kim’s upbringing as a child of immigrants who never lost trust in the American Dream despite the challenges that came their way time and time again.
The book offers a comprehensive toolkit for those who have struggled with trust or mistrust, glimpsing how beliefs affecting those sentiments can be biased or entirely mistaken. It's for those who have faced the violation of trust as either an offender or a victim, and seek to understand how one might repair those relationships. It's also for those who seek to understand how trust can be established with new people or groups and ultimately strengthened. And finally, it's for those who seek some way to reconcile our increasingly difficult political divides and understand how we all can manage trust in society.
Peter Kim’s storytelling reminds me of Adam Grant's. In his book, he demonstrates his points through various examples, including sex scandals, exploring why the public might have forgiven Arnold Schwarzenegger but not Bill Clinton. He examines Dolce & Gabbana’s struggle to overcome a racial controversy in China and discusses the Sackler family’s efforts to evade culpability for their role in the opioid crisis.
The book builds on these insights to confront the challenges of mistrust at the societal level. Professor Kim discusses how poorly we deal with matters of justice and redemption in general through the experience of Father Greg, who founded Homeboy Industries in the most dangerous part of Los Angeles to rehabilitate gang members. He revisits the violent clashes of the 2017 Unite The Right Rally in Charlottesville, Virginia, explores the divergent reactions to the police killings of Brianna Taylor and George Floyd, and looks at how our responses might be shaped by our group memberships. He also examines the bloody legacy of the great partition of India and compares the attempts of the Nuremberg trials in West Germany, the Truth and Reconciliation Commission in South Africa, and the Gacaca Courts in Rwanda to address gross human rights abuses and heal those divided nations.
This book will be useful for all future leaders, and you will find it valuable in both your personal and professional life.
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