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I Suck at Girls
- Narrated by: Sean Schemmel
- Length: 4 hrs and 7 mins
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Mishna Wolff grew up in a poor black neighborhood with her single father, a white man who truly believed he was black. "He strutted around with a short perm, a Cosby-esque sweater, gold chains and a Kangol---telling jokes like Redd Fox, and giving advice like Jesse Jackson. You couldn't tell my father he was white. Believe me, I tried," writes Wolff. And so from early childhood on, her father began his crusade to make his white daughter down.
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I stopped listening an hour in....
- By Casey on 11-07-09
By: Mishna Wolff
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The Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club
- True Tales from a Magnificent and Clumsy Life
- By: Laurie Notaro
- Narrated by: Hillary Huber
- Length: 5 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Introducing Laurie Notaro, the leader of the Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club. Every day she fearlessly rises from bed to defeat the evil machinations of dolts, dimwits, and creepy boyfriends - and that's before she even puts on a bra. For the past 10 years, Notaro has been entertaining Phoenix newspaper readers with her wildly amusing autobiographical exploits and unique life experiences.
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Sweet and funny
- By Julia Valentin on 12-19-20
By: Laurie Notaro
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God-Shaped Hole
- A Novel
- By: Tiffanie DeBartolo
- Narrated by: Rachael Warren
- Length: 10 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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When Beatrice Trixie Jordan replies to a personal ad, she meets Jacob Grace, a charming, effervescent 30-something free-spirit writer passionately seeking life. He possesses his own turns of phrase and ways of thinking and feeling that dissonantly harmonize with Trixie's off-center vision. As they rollercoaster through the joys and furies of their wrenching romance, they try to come to terms with the hurt brought about by both of their distant fathers who, in different ways, forsook them.
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To see a fortune teller or not to see one...
- By Renee on 08-08-18
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Looking for Alaska
- By: John Green
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 6 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Miles Halter is fascinated by famous last words - and tired of his safe life at home. He leaves for boarding school to seek what the dying poet François Rabelais called the “Great Perhaps”. Much awaits Miles at Culver Creek, including Alaska Young, who will pull Miles into her labyrinth and catapult him into the Great Perhaps.
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I am concussed dot-dot-dot
- By Brendan McKenna on 10-01-19
By: John Green
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I Am Not Myself These Days
- A Memoir
- By: Josh Kilmer-Purcell
- Narrated by: Johnny Heller
- Length: 6 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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I Am Not Myself These Days follows a glittering journey through Manhattan's dark underbelly---a shocking and surreal world where alter egos reign and subsist (barely) on dark wit and chemicals...a tragic romantic comedy where one begins by rooting for the survival of the relationship and ends by hoping someone simply survives.
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depressing
- By Barry Morrison on 08-02-16
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Too Bright to Hear Too Loud to See
- By: Juliann Garey
- Narrated by: Dan Butler
- Length: 11 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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In her tour-de-force first novel, Juliann Garey takes us inside the restless mind, ravaged heart, and anguished soul of Greyson Todd, a successful Hollywood studio executive who leaves his wife and young daughter and for a decade travels the world giving free reign to the bipolar disorder he's been forced to keep hidden for almost 20 years.
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Psychosis or Syphilis?
- By Vira on 04-02-13
By: Juliann Garey
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Domestic Violets
- A Novel
- By: Matthew Norman
- Narrated by: Todd McLaren
- Length: 11 hrs
- Unabridged
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Tom Violet always thought that by the time he turned 35, he’d have everything going for him. Fame. Fortune. A beautiful wife. A satisfying career as a successful novelist. A happy dog to greet him at the end of the day. The reality, though, is far different. He’s got a wife, but their problems are bigger than he can even imagine. And he’s written a novel, but the manuscript he’s slaved over for years is currently hidden in his desk drawer while his father, an actual famous writer, just won the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction. His career, such that it is, involves mind-numbing corporate buzzwords....
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What a rollicking ride!
- By Pamela Harvey on 08-13-11
By: Matthew Norman
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Miss Fortune
- Fresh Perspectives on Having It All from Someone Who Is Not Okay
- By: Lauren Weedman
- Narrated by: Lauren Weedman
- Length: 8 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Lauren Weedman is not okay. She's living what should be the good life in sunny Los Angeles. After a gig as a correspondent with The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, she scored parts in blockbuster movies, which led to memorable recurring roles on HBO's Hung and Looking. She had a loving husband and an adorable baby boy. In these comedic essays, she turns a piercingly observant, darkly funny lens on the ways her life is actually not okay.
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Good
- By Ajules29 on 04-02-16
By: Lauren Weedman
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Rats Saw God
- By: Rob Thomas
- Narrated by: Johnny Heller
- Length: 6 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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By his senior year, Steve York has come through the worst two years of his life. His parents have divorced, and his girlfriend has betrayed him. Worse yet, after running away to live with his mother in San Diego, forays into the drug culture have turned his A-average into a thing of the past. Steve's only hope to graduate on time and avoid summer school is to write a 100-page paper for his guidance counselor. Unfortunately, he has to write about something he knows, and all he knows well are the last two years of his life.
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Real
- By Mary on 06-26-09
By: Rob Thomas
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You're Better than Me
- A Memoir
- By: Bonnie McFarlane
- Narrated by: Bonnie McFarlane, Alexander Cendese
- Length: 7 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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In the spirit of Mindy Kaling, Kelly Oxford, and Sarah Silverman, a compulsively listenable and outrageously funny memoir of growing up as a fish out of water, finding your voice, and embracing your inner crazy person from popular actress, writer, and comedian Bonnie McFarlane.
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Sandy!!! She wrote a book...it's crazy, a book!!!
- By Jonathan Placek on 03-02-16
By: Bonnie McFarlane
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The Secret Side of Empty
- By: Maria E. Andreu
- Narrated by: Eileen Stevens
- Length: 6 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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What's it like to be undocumented? High school senior M.T. knows all too well. With graduation and an uncertain future looming, she must figure out how to grow up in the only country she's ever called home... a country in which she's "illegal". M.T. was born in Argentina and brought to America as a baby without any official papers. And as questions of college, work, and the future arise, M.T. will have to decide what exactly she wants for herself, knowing someone she loves will unavoidably pay the price for it.
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Heavy topics handled well but just fell short 4 me
- By AudioBookHoe on 07-30-17
By: Maria E. Andreu
What listeners say about I Suck at Girls
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Amanda
- 03-25-13
Loved it!!!
If you could sum up I Suck at Girls in three words, what would they be?
So freakin hilarious!
What other book might you compare I Suck at Girls to and why?
Only his other book "sh*t my dad says".
What does Sean Schemmel bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?
The voices are great. They add to the humor of the book.
If you were to make a film of this book, what would be the tag line be?
Warning: Sporadic uncontrollable laughter may occur. A lot
Any additional comments?
I need more Justin Halpern books. It's hard to find a truly funny book, perfectly paired with a hilarious narrator.
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- Jeffrey
- 06-15-12
Yes it is as funny as everyone says.
This is a very funny story. I wish my dad was that smart. Mr. Halpern could write meditational books.
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- Joey
- 06-11-12
Perhaps Funnier than the first book!
Justin Halpern is rapidly becoming one of my favorite writers. Likewise, Sean Schemmel's reading talent is wonderful. I can't imagine anyone else voice in my head when I quote some of these one-liners.
This book is less about the one liners that the author's Father comes up with and more about the author's personal issues with Women. Personally, I found it inspiring and heartwarming to know I wasn't the only one who felt very awkward around women.
A wonderful story and a great second volume to the author's first book. If you liked the first one, you'll like this one too.
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- Amanda
- 06-20-12
Too Funny
I laughed so hard at this book. The reader reminded me at times of South Park characters and personally found that hysterical. When I finished with this book I borrowed J. Halpern's first novel from my library and listened to it twice in a row it was so funny.
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- Tony Christ
- 03-08-15
Good Book
A pretty good follow up to Justin's first book. I enjoyed the first one better since the dad is such a great character. I also enjoyed the Fox show "Surviving Jack" that was based off this book. Too bad it got cancelled so quickly.
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- Heather
- 06-25-12
Hilarious Listen
What did you love best about I Suck at Girls?
It's honest approach to his life and how his parents helped him cope with girls throughout his life.
What was one of the most memorable moments of I Suck at Girls?
There are many, but I loved the canyon and homeless guys story.
What about Sean Schemmel’s performance did you like?
Everything. He was hilarious.
If you were to make a film of this book, what would be the tag line be?
And you thought your parents were frank....
Any additional comments?
I got this book on a whim because I read that it was funny. It was a great look at what my generation of single people go through and how life shapes us all. There's so much love within this family, but it's expressed so vulgarly that it's funny. And you'll find yourself remembering your childhood and nodding along with the narrator.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Roger
- 06-15-12
Father is Hilarious, Son is Boring
Halpern's first book about his father was fantastic. This second work about his own life is pretty boring - except when his father makes an appearance. Go for the first book and skip this one.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Jim
- 06-25-12
No one can suck this bad at closing the deal.
Would you recommend this book to a friend? Why or why not?
Depends on the friend.
What could Justin Halpern have done to make this a more enjoyable book for you?
He's telling his life story, hard to change that.
Have you listened to any of Sean Schemmel’s other performances before? How does this one compare?
He is great.
Was I Suck at Girls worth the listening time?
Most of the time.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Luna Soledad
- 08-18-18
Great 2nd Book.
Not quite as brilliant as, “Shit My Dad Says,” but definitely ranking in comedic entertainment value. More importantly, a fantastic reminder for all us awkward humans bumbling clumsily through life that laughter is ever the best medicine....
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- Jackson Martin
- 08-01-21
Hilarious Book!
This is an absolutely hilarious book. It was brilliantly written and performed wonderfully. I would absolutely recommend to anybody that also enjoyed “Shit my dad says”. Justin Halpern has a great sense of humor that makes you want to keep listening!
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