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If You Are Reading This Then Drink Water
- Narrated by: Daragh Fleming
- Length: 3 hrs and 29 mins
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If You Are Reading This Then Drink Water
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Publisher's summary
How would you describe life? If you bumped into God and it asked you to give an overview of what life on Earth was like, what would you do? You wouldn’t tell it one long, drawn-out story. Not at all. You’d give it a mixed bag of quick stories to give it a good taste of what life is. If that day did somehow come about, and you did find yourself talking nonsense to an infinite being on a lovely summer’s day, I’m sure you’d never again forget to keep yourself hydrated.
"Fleming writes with a very Irish turn of phrase which makes this somehow both more entertaining and absurd yet authentic at the same time. Very enjoyable.” (Chris Greene, RTE broadcaster, Dublin)
"As good as anything by Kevin Barry and Donal Ryan." (Robert Craven, Irish author _
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Sweet Sorrow
- The Long-Awaited New Novel from the Best-Selling Author of One Day
- By: David Nicholls
- Narrated by: Rory Kinnear
- Length: 12 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 72
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 62
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 62
From the best-selling author of One Day comes a bittersweet and brilliantly funny coming-of-age tale about the heart-stopping thrill of first love - and how just one summer can forever change a life.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A delight in every way!
- By Jennifer on 04-24-22
By: David Nicholls
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Superhero Syndrome
- Solstice Survivors, Book 1
- By: Caryn Larrinaga
- Narrated by: Ruby Hankey
- Length: 7 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 38
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 38
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 38
Tess McBray was dying. The solstice syndrome had no cure, and she resigned herself to an early grave. But just when she gave up on survival, all her symptoms mysteriously disappeared. All but one symptom, anyway. Something is wrong with Tess’ hands. They absorb any material they touch, and her skin turns to wood, steel, or concrete. It doesn’t take this comic book obsessed 21-year-old long to figure out what’s going on: somehow, she’s developed super powers. And she’s not the only one; across the country, people are coming forward and sharing their gifts with the world.
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5 out of 5 stars
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"Origin" story with great characters and narration
- By Kara on 08-17-19
By: Caryn Larrinaga
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An Ocean Apart
- A Novel
- By: Robin Pilcher
- Narrated by: John Lee
- Length: 14 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 34
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 31
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 31
For six dreadful months, David Corstorphine has tried to come to terms with his young wife's death while caring for his three motherless children. Try as he may, David is unable to return to work, and his only form of solace comes from working in the garden of his parents' estate in the Scottish countryside. Dispatched unexpectedly to New York, David's family hopes that the impromptu business trip will help him get back on his feet. But the journey proves both disastrous and heartening.
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5 out of 5 stars
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This book had such heart
- By Lesley Harrison on 07-19-24
By: Robin Pilcher
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A Thousand Roads Home
- By: Carmel Harrington
- Narrated by: Jill Crawford, Frank Grimes
- Length: 10 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 180
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 165
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 165
Meet Tom. Or Dr O’Grady, as he used to be called. When you pass him on the street, most people don’t even give him a second glance. You see, Tom isn’t living his best life. Burdened by grief, he’s only got his loyal dog, Bette Davis, for company and a rucksack containing his whole world. Then there’s Ruth and her son, DJ, who no longer have a place to call home. But Ruth believes that you can change the world by helping one person at a time - and Tom needs her help. There are a thousand ways to find your home - you just need to be brave enough to look for them.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Couldn't put it down
- By Allison Swart on 09-22-19
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Born a Crime
- Stories from a South African Childhood
- By: Trevor Noah
- Narrated by: Trevor Noah
- Length: 8 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 214,453
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 194,036
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Story5 out of 5 stars 193,065
In this award-winning Audible Studios production, Trevor Noah tells his wild coming-of-age tale during the twilight of apartheid in South Africa. It’s a story that begins with his mother throwing him from a moving van to save him from a potentially fatal dispute with gangsters, then follows the budding comedian’s path to self-discovery through episodes both poignant and comical.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great book and perfect narration
- By MarilynArms on 12-15-16
By: Trevor Noah
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Slaughterhouse-Five
- By: Kurt Vonnegut
- Narrated by: James Franco
- Length: 5 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 18,820
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 16,828
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 16,803
Traumatized by the bombing of Dresden at the time he had been imprisoned, Pilgrim drifts through all events and history, sometimes deeply implicated, sometimes a witness. He is surrounded by Vonnegut's usual large cast of continuing characters (notably here the hack science fiction writer Kilgore Trout and the alien Tralfamadorians, who oversee his life and remind him constantly that there is no causation, no order, no motive to existence).
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4 out of 5 stars
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Don't Quit Your Daytime Job, James
- By Keith on 11-20-15
By: Kurt Vonnegut
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Wild with Happy
- By: Colman Domingo
- Narrated by: Colman Domingo, Alex Newell, Sharon Washington, and others
- Length: 1 hr and 32 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 381
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 369
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 369
Gil (Domingo) is a struggling NYC actor who heads home to Philadelphia after the passing of his mother, Adelaide (Winfrey). The plan is to tidy-up her affairs as quickly and efficiently as possible, until a few unpredictably hilarious detours ensue. With his Aunt Glo (Washington) insisting on a proper burial, but an urn of ashes already in his hand, Gil gets thrown into a car by his best friend (Newell).
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2 out of 5 stars
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All hollas and hallelujahs
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 06-14-24
By: Colman Domingo
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I Can't Make This Up
- Life Lessons
- By: Neil Strauss - contributor, Kevin Hart
- Narrated by: Kevin Hart
- Length: 11 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 55,925
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 50,379
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 50,123
Superstar comedian and Hollywood box-office star Kevin Hart turns his immense talent to the written word by writing some words. Some of those words include: the, a, for, above, and even even. Put them together and you have the funniest, most heartfelt, and most inspirational memoir on survival, success, and the importance of believing in yourself since Old Yeller.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Best Audiobook I Ever Listened To
- By Sam Clear on 07-13-17
By: Neil Strauss - contributor, and others
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Space Force
- By: Jeremy Robinson
- Narrated by: Jeffrey Kafer, Emily Woo Zeller, Machelle Williams
- Length: 9 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 3,601
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 3,356
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Story4 out of 5 stars 3,349
Five years ago, the US Space Force became a reality. And while those writing the checks took things very seriously, the other military branches did not. As a result, Space Force was populated by undesirables. My name is Captain Ethan Stone, a decorated member of SEAL Team Six turned Space Force "recruit". Flash forward five years and between tenses. President West is in office. Power has shifted. And Space Force is defunded. With just a handful of us still living on base, we find ourselves being evicted. But before all of us can leave, aliens invade.
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1 out of 5 stars
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disappointed
- By Justin H on 03-15-19
By: Jeremy Robinson
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Heads Will Roll
- By: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne
- Narrated by: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne, Tim Gunn, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 6 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 17,367
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 15,825
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Story4 out of 5 stars 15,759
Heads Will Roll is an Audible Original from Saturday Night Live star Kate McKinnon and her cocreator/costar (and real-life sister) Emily Lynne. Produced by Broadway Video, this is not an audiobook - it’s a 10-episode, star-studded audio comedy that features performances from Meryl Streep, Tim Gunn, Peter Dinklage, Queer Eye’s Fab Five, and so many more. Please note: This content is not for kids.
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5 out of 5 stars
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More like this please
- By Anon893 on 05-03-19
By: Kate McKinnon, and others
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Napoleon's Hemorrhoids…And Other Small Events That Changed History
- By: Phil Mason
- Narrated by: LJ Ganser
- Length: 8 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,157
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 1,029
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1,025
Hilarious, fascinating, and a roller coaster of dizzying, historical what-ifs, Napoleon's Hemorrhoids is a potpourri for serious historians and casual history buffs. In one of Phil Mason's many revelations, you'll learn that Communist jets were two minutes away from opening fire on American planes during the Cuban missile crisis, when they had to turn back as they were running out of fuel. You'll discover that before the Battle of Waterloo, Napoleon's painful hemorrhoids prevented him from mounting his horse to survey the battlefield.
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3 out of 5 stars
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They just throw the facts too fast
- By Concerned_llama on 12-11-20
By: Phil Mason
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American Psycho
- By: Bret Easton Ellis
- Narrated by: Pablo Schreiber
- Length: 16 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 5,207
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 4,621
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Story4 out of 5 stars 4,629
Patrick Bateman moves among the young and trendy in 1980s Manhattan. Young, handsome, and well educated, Bateman earns his fortune on Wall Street by day while spending his nights in ways we cannot begin to fathom. Expressing his true self through torture and murder, Bateman prefigures an apocalyptic horror that no society could bear to confront.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Fanntastic book but maybe not for everyone....
- By So Fain on 03-27-11
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Yellow Face
- A Semi-autobiographical Comedy
- By: David Henry Hwang
- Narrated by: Daniel Dae Kim (CK), Ashley Park, Wendell Pierce, and others
- Length: 1 hr and 44 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 221
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 182
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Story4 out of 5 stars 182
Winner of an Obie and a finalist for the Pulitzer Prize, and directed by Tony nominee Leigh Silverman, Yellow Face is as timely as ever, wrestling with issues of cultural appropriation, complicity, and artistic freedom. It’s brought to life in this audio-only revival by a stunning all-star cast (many playing themselves) led by Daniel Dae Kim.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Funny, great audible performance, and good dialogue.
- By Ed the Canadian on 05-04-24
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The Heron
- By: Don Winslow
- Narrated by: Ed Harris
- Length: 1 hr and 6 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 5,188
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 4,785
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 4,760
“The Heron” is the nickname a big-city accountant has attached to himself in his new home near San Diego, where he’s using the alias to avoid a hit man who may be after him. It seems a former client believes that The Heron has skipped town with several million dollars not his own. Don Winslow’s ensuing, entertaining yarn is by turns twisty, dark, and comical as we observe the delicate dance between the pursuer and the pursued.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Awfully long middle for such a short story
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 07-29-22
By: Don Winslow
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Breakfast of Champions
- By: Kurt Vonnegut
- Narrated by: John Malkovich
- Length: 6 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 4,277
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 3,861
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Story4 out of 5 stars 3,852
Breakfast of Champions (1973) provides frantic, scattershot satire and a collage of Vonnegut's obsessions. His recurring cast of characters and American landscape was perhaps the most controversial of his canon; it was felt by many at the time to be a disappointing successor to Slaughterhouse-Five, which had made Vonnegut's literary reputation.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Kurt Was Right to Grade This a C
- By Dubi on 01-10-16
By: Kurt Vonnegut