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Jane Carver of Waar
- Waar, Book 1
- Narrated by: Dina Pearlman
- Length: 12 hrs
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Publisher's summary
Jane Carver is nobody's idea of a space princess. A hard-ridin', hard-lovin' biker chick and ex-Airborne Ranger, Jane is as surprised as anyone else when, on the run from the law, she ducks into the wrong cave at the wrong time - and wakes up butt-naked on an exotic alien planet light-years away from everything she's ever known. Waar is a savage world of four-armed tiger-men, sky-pirates, slaves, gladiators, and purple-skinned warriors in thrall to a bloodthirsty code of honor and chivalry. Caught up in a disgraced nobleman's quest to win back the hand of a sexy alien princess, Jane encounters bizarre wonders and dangers unlike anything she ever ran into back home. Then again, Waar has never seen anyone like Jane before.
Both a loving tribute and scathing parody of the swashbuckling space fantasies of yore, Jane Carver of Waar introduces an unforgettable new science-fiction heroine. Nathan Long is a screen and prose writer with two movies, a Saturday-morning adventure series, and several TV episodes to his name. His official website is: www.sabrepunk.com.
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- Unabridged
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Before being conscripted to fight in the Total War, Private Hector Park had a shattered family, a collection of old video games, and a promising career as a motorcycle stuntman. Now, he is dying from a virus threatening humankind with extinction. He has three days to live. When Hector’s brother contacts him after years of hostile silence, Hector goes to try and make peace. But his brother offers him something even better: the chance to cheat death by joining him in Archemi, a full-immersion fantasy VR-RPG video game.
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fun narration & characters buuut...
- By ERIC ESTES on 01-29-24
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Royal Bastards
- By: Andrew Shvarts
- Narrated by: Brittany Pressley
- Length: 10 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Being a bastard blows. Tilla would know. Her father, Lord Kent of the Western Province, loved her as a child but cast her aside as soon as he had trueborn children. At 16 Tilla spends her days exploring long-forgotten tunnels beneath the castle with her stablehand half brother, Jax, and her nights drinking with the servants, passing out on Jax's floor while her castle bedroom collects dust. Tilla secretly longs to sit by her father's side, enjoying feasts with the rest of the family.
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Reading is not the same as the physical copy
- By Annelle Powell on 07-09-18
By: Andrew Shvarts
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Forever Fantasy Online
- Forever Fantasy Online, Book 1
- By: Rachel Aaron, Travis Bach
- Narrated by: Josh Hurley
- Length: 19 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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In the real world, twenty-one-year-old library sciences student Tina Anderson is invisible and under-appreciated, but in the VR-game Forever Fantasy Online she's Roxxy—the respected leader and main tank of a top-tier raiding guild. Her brother, James Anderson, has a similar problem. IRL he’s a college drop-out struggling under debt, but in FFO he's famous—an explorer known all over the world for doing every quest and collecting the rarest items.
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The cover art is great....
- By Johnny Jeppesen on 08-18-18
By: Rachel Aaron, and others
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The Fate's Forsaken Omnibus
- Books 1-2 and Prequel Novella
- By: Shae Ford
- Narrated by: Derek Perkins
- Length: 37 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Books 1, 2, and the prequel novella of the Fate's Forsaken series. The series follows the adventures of Kael: a young man who is thrust from his home in the Unforgivable Mountains and onto a hero's path. The journey is long, the battles are fierce - nearly all of his companions are outlaws. And Kael's rotten bad luck seems to make everything worse. This is his story.
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Fantasy with light romance
- By Skipper on 09-23-15
By: Shae Ford
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Ariel
- By: Steven R. Boyett
- Narrated by: Ramon De Ocampo
- Length: 13 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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It's been five years since the lights went out, cars stopped in the streets, and magical creatures began roaming Earth. Pete Garey survived the Change, trusting no one but himself until the day he met Ariel - a unicorn who brought new meaning and adventure to his life.
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A Unique Love Story in a Fantasy Novel
- By David on 06-11-15
By: Steven R. Boyett
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Dark and Stormy Knights
- By: Ilona Andrews, Jim Butcher, Shannon K Butcher, and others
- Narrated by: Renee Raudman, Joe Barrett, Marc Vietor, and others
- Length: 10 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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It was a dark and stormy knight, and nine dark defenders embarked upon a most perilous quest. They're the ultimate defenders of humanity, modern day knights who do dark deeds for all the right reasons. In this all-star collection, nine of today's hottest paranormal authors bring us thrilling, all-new stories of supernatural knights that are brimming with magic mystery and mayhem.
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Bought this for Dresden, loved the rest!
- By Moon River on 06-27-12
By: Ilona Andrews, and others
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Rot & Ruin
- By: Jonathan Maberry
- Narrated by: Brian Hutchison
- Length: 13 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Fifteen-year-old Benny Imura lives in a world infested with zombies where, when a kid turns 15, he must get a job to continue receiving food rations. Benny has no interest in the family business of zombie killing, but figures he doesn’t have much of a choice. He’s tried out a bunch of other jobs, and hasn’t found anything he likes. But as Benny starts training with his brother, he learns things about being human that he never expected.
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Just when you thought it was safe.....
- By Amanda H. on 05-12-11
By: Jonathan Maberry
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The Palace Job
- Rogues of the Republic, Book 1
- By: Patrick Weekes
- Narrated by: Justine Eyre
- Length: 11 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Loch is seeking revenge. It would help if she wasn’t in jail. The plan: To steal a priceless elven manuscript that once belonged to her family, but is now in the hands of the most powerful man in the Republic. To do so, Loch - former soldier, former prisoner, and current fugitive - must assemble a crack team of magical misfits that includes a cynical illusionist, a shape shifting unicorn, a repentant death priestess, a talking magical war hammer, and a lad with seemingly no skills.
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Awful narration
- By 9littlebees on 12-18-15
By: Patrick Weekes
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The Black Company
- Chronicles of The Black Company, Book 1
- By: Glen Cook
- Narrated by: Marc Vietor
- Length: 10 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Some feel the Lady, newly risen from centuries in thrall, stands between humankind and evil. Some feel she is evil itself. The hardbitten men of the Black Company take their pay and do what they must, burying their doubts with their dead - until the prophesy: The White Rose has been reborn, somewhere, to embody good once more. There must be a way for the Black Company to find her....
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Hard Boiled Morally Ambiguous Epic Fantasy
- By Jefferson on 03-18-11
By: Glen Cook
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Ink Mage
- A Fire Beneath the Skin, Book 1
- By: Victor Gischler
- Narrated by: Fiona Hardingham
- Length: 11 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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In the first installment of the A Fire Beneath the Skin trilogy, the city of Klaar has never fallen. No enemy has ever made it across the Long Bridge or penetrated the city's mighty walls. Even when a powerful invading army shows up at the gates, the duke and his daughter, Rina Veraiin, are certain that it poses little threat. But they are cruelly betrayed from within and, in a horrific spasm of violence, the city is brought to its knees.
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mixed feelings
- By Elvira on 10-28-15
By: Victor Gischler
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The Sleeping Dragon
- Guardians of the Flame, Book 1
- By: Joel Rosenberg
- Narrated by: Keith Silverstein
- Length: 8 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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It began as just another evening of fantasy gaming with James, Karl, Andrea, and the rest ready to assume their various roles as wizard, cleric, warrior, or thief. But sorcerous gamemaster Professor Deighton had something else planned for this unsuspecting group of college students. And the "game" soon became a matter of life and death as the seven adventurers found themselves transported to an alternate world and into the bodies of the actual characters they had been pretending to be....
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A Self Image Cast in Stone Could Shatter
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 10-19-13
By: Joel Rosenberg
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Shadow Magic
- By: Joshua Khan
- Narrated by: Ramon de Ocampo
- Length: 9 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Thorn, an outlaw's son, wasn't supposed to be a slave. He's been sold to Tyburn, an executioner, and they're headed to Castle Gloom in Gehenna, the land of the undead, where Thorn will probably be fed to a vampire. Lilith Shadow wasn't supposed to be ruler of Gehenna. But following the murder of her family, young Lily became the last surviving member of House Shadow, a long line of dark sorcerers. Her country is surrounded by enemies, and the only way she can save it is by embracing her heritage and practicing the magic of the undead.
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Great first book!
- By Bob Zelm on 03-31-20
By: Joshua Khan
What listeners say about Jane Carver of Waar
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- The Book Lady
- 12-28-16
Fun and entertaining roller coaster of a swashbuckling adventure
I bought this for my son, a fan of the author, but was intrigued enough with the premise to listen to it myself. Once I started I was absolutely hooked. I loved Jane, with her snarky commentary, BA attitude, and heart of gold. The world building was fabulous. This book came as such a delightful surprise that I honestly can't stop talking about it. Now I'm looking forward to reading more by this author. If you'd like a fun, exciting, sci-fi adventure story, I can't recommend this book enough.
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- Diane
- 05-17-13
Story and Narration = Epic Fun!
IN A NUTSHELL: I tend to judge books based on how they make me feel and I had a GREAT time listening to this audio book. Jane Carver is a tall red-haired muscled bad ass biker chick with a potty mouth, a brave/impulsive heart and I have a crush on her. The world-building was solid, the story and plot exciting and easy to follow with descriptions vivid enough that I had no problems picturing the planet WAAR and all of it's inhabitants. Did I mention how funny it was?
SUMMARY: Jane rebuffs this drunk a-hole at the bar and when she leaves he follows her. He gropes her while she's trying to get on her bike. She sees red and punches out at him. He stumbles, so instead of hitting his face she punches him in the neck, HARD..and he dies. Witnesses catch the tale end of it and think she just killed him. She takes off, with the cops chasing her and ends up running into a cave to escape. She ends up traveling to another planet/world after touching a glowing stone she saw in the cave.
Her adventure is epic and HILARIOUS as she tries to help the first creature she found. He's a prince. He's human except for his purple skin, but there are other not so human creatures around. Danger around every corner; mostly because this spoiled Prince she's trying to help has a sense of honor that belies common sense and the princess she's trying to help him save is a nitwit as well. The first of which is them being captures and enslaved by tiger-like creatures.
So much happened that I felt like I should be taking notes, but I don't want to spoil anything. This book is a parody based on Edgar Rice Burrough's "A Princess of Mars", which I haven't read and is supposed to be a classic. I'll read that after I finish the 2nd book of Jane's adventures.
THE NARRATOR: Dina Pearlman is my favorite narrator. I stumbled upon this book because I'll listen to anything that she narrates. She does her best work when narrating a sassy, funny character and Jane Carver fits the bill. Dina nails Jane's humor and sarcasm and all the comedic situations that she gets into on Waar. You never had any trouble figuring out who is who and her male and female characters BOTH are right on target and believable.
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13 people found this helpful
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- David
- 06-01-13
Treats John Carter better than Disney did
There are two groups of readers for this book: those who have read Edgar Rice Burroughs' A Princess of Mars, and those who haven't.
If you haven't... then you may or may not like this book, depending on your tolerance for old-school sci-fi adventure tales. Because Jane Carver of Waar is not even a little bit subtle about the material it's imitating: it's quintessential "high concept" science fiction, that concept being: what if John Carter was a chick? And of course, if you have no familiarity with the Confederate-gentleman-turned-warlord-of-Mars, then Jane Carver has to stand on her own and you're not going to get a lot of the jokes. That said, it's fun and fast-paced and Jane is kind of awesome in a ridiculous pulp fiction way, but you're only going to love it if you can get into planetary romances with swashbuckling sky pirates and alien hotties wearing nothing but jewel-encrusted dental floss.
There is, however, a modern sensibility to this novel: Jane gets to team up with a couple of mostly-naked princes — to her immense gratification, Waarian men wear as little as the women. And Jane is an unabashedly lusty lass (and for all that, it takes her quite a while to get some).
If you have read the Barsoom books — well, then, this book is a treat. There's always a risk in reading something that is a parody/"tribute" to a classic work: either it will be too earnest and just read like a cheap knock-off, or it will be too acerbic in its satire, or even mocking, as if to make readers who love the original, however cheesy it may be, feel like saps. (Lev Grossman's "The Magicians" is one of the biggest offenders in that regard.)
Jane Carver of Waar is a shameless imitation, but it's a loving one. Jane, an ex-Airborne Ranger biker chick, gets popped off to "Waar" through a magic cave in just the same way John Carter went to Mars, and the adventures that follow are pretty much a mirror of those of everyone's favorite Virginian. The "Orans" are purple instead of red, and instead of initially being captured by green-skinned Tharks, Jane is captured by tiger-centaur Aarurrhs. Exactly like John Carter, Jane finds that Waar's lower gravity gives her superhuman strength and the ability to leap great distances.
There are some divergences because of Jane's sex. She doesn't have a princess to rescue: instead, she befriends a hapless Oran prince named Sai, whose beloved Wen-Jhai was bride-napped by another Oran noble. Sai is honor-bound to meet the dastard's challenge and steal his fiancee back; the only problem is, the other guy is one of the greatest swordsmen on the planet, and Sai is, well, kind of a wimp. And a coward. They make a cute couple, and when Sai's best friend, Lan, joins in the fun, the three of them go from one adventure and narrow escape to another in pursuit of Wen-Jhai.
Jane, being a woman, notices all the sexism that John Carter didn't see fit to comment on in his own adventure, and has great fun shocking and scandalizing everyone from the Orans to the Aarurrh. She's a crude, brazen Valkyrie, but she also gets her butt kicked fairly regularly. Her adventures are perfectly in keeping with the Edgar Rice Burroughs tradition, but told with a 21st century viewpoint.
Edgar Rice Burroughs fans can read this book without fear that it's making fun of our beloved John Carter. It's almost a worthy "sequel" to the Barsoom series. If you haven't read the originals, though, you may well find this book fun, but I'd really recommend reading A Princess of Mars first so you'll catch all the references and winks.
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11 people found this helpful
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- Bill
- 08-31-12
Great Read
I enjoyed the SF adventure, I didn't put it down till I finished it!
I hope there are more books to come with Jane.
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5 people found this helpful
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- Mel Aclaro
- 02-22-14
Excellent. With just one downside...
The only downside this audio book had for me was the feeling I got on the commute that other drivers were probably looking at me and wondering what it was that had me grinning like an idiot.
The protagonist's sarcastic narrative -- and narrator Dina Pearlman's performance -- were a perfect combo.
Fast paced, great sequences with plausible predicaments and the right spice of biker-chick crassness kept this story moving -- with me alternatingly engrossed and cracking up the whole time.
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- Carol Scott
- 12-24-14
very good hack and slay. clean, some swearing
Would you consider the audio edition of Jane Carver of Waar to be better than the print version?
don't know did not read it yet. but loved the audio.
What about Dina Pearlman’s performance did you like?
easy to sit back and do other things while the book is on ( housework). lol her voice is easy on the ears.
Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?
When Jane gets back to Earth. and wants to go back. at first she thinks she has been sent to...??? .lol
Any additional comments?
try it
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- Amazon Customer
- 03-14-19
same story as John Carter of Mars
Story was fun and full of plot twists. The main character doesn't get any until the end.
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- Ijw
- 01-07-15
fun ride
why do good writers poke their head out of the gaming world, throw us a novel or two, and then disappear back into the big money never to entertain us again?
I hope someday Nathan Long feels like giving us another novel as original and entertaining is this.
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- Rachel
- 10-28-16
Yes, more please
Rely liked this heroine, she says it like it is, with out being pretentious. Fast, action packed, funny. Yes it reminds of John Carter, but Jane is just so entertaining, I loved her metaphor: 'He had lips like Elvis at 19" The narrator fit Jane perfectly.
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- Jim "The Impatient"
- 05-16-15
IT WAS OVER IN 5 SECONDS, BUT SO IS A CAR WRECK
SOMEBODY HIT ME WITH A BUILDING
This is one excellent book. Most of the book is hilarious. It is entertaining from start to finish. Not once did I go BACK AND FORTH ON IT SO MUCH IT MADE A TRENCH IN MY BRAIN.
Even if you have not read Princess of Mars, you will love this book, but if you have read it, then it will be even funnier. Besides being funny, it is adventurous, smart and fast paced. Toward the end of the book, it does become a little dark. Long's writing is so good and your investment in the main character is so strong that you will feel her pain. I am an old pervert, but the scene where she is manhandled in front of a crowd, had me spitting nails. She gets angry, but must hold it in and your HEART WILL THUMP LIKE A FROG IN A BREAD BOX. I think my face got red. The main character is a 6ft tall biker chick, who has had run ins with the law. When she says AS SMUG AS A GEORGIA STATE TROOPER or OUR CABIN WAS AS SMALL AS AN ARKANSAS JAIL CELL, she is speaking from experience. Yet, she has morals and she has humility. She is loaded with humility and you will want her to win. There is a plot and twists. Just when think things are going alright, something will happen to make life more complicated.
HEAVEN IS AN ETERNAL BLOW JOB
There is some sex in the story, mostly toward the end, but it is all necessary to the story. Matter of fact you will be routing for the main character to get laid. Long's sexual descriptions of the characters leaves enough for your imagination. He mentions the men wearing these male stripper type loin clothes and that their was no mistake that they were male and that is it. A female pirate is flat chested, but has a behind that would make Lopez look flat and the pirate wears tight leggings. That is all that is said and you can fill in the rest. Their are two characters that swing both ways.
LAYING ON THE CHARM WITH A TROWEL
Long's descriptive language is pop culture and constant. I don't know how this will play out one hundred years from now, but for me now, it does a great job of setting the scene without long flowery, put you to sleep language. Here are just some of the examples: A PEPSI BLUE SKY. A SUSHI SUNRISE, RAW AND PINK. HIS FACE SAGGED LIKE SOMEONE PULLED THE BONES OUT OF IT. THE WHISPERING SOUNDED LIKE A HUNDRED SKILLETS FRYING BACON. SAI LOOKED AS RELIEVED AS A GUY FINDING OUT IT'S NOT HERPES AFTER ALL. HE WAS FROWNING LIKE A CHEERLEADER TAKING A MATH TEST. If someone tells you it was A PEPSI BLUE SKY, can you not quick and easily picture that in your head?
THERE'S NOTHING LIKE A CHURCH TO F/U A GOOD RELIGION.
Long makes some quick political jabs, that may go over some heads. He does not drone or speechify on any of it. It is quick and over. He made either one or two statements that were anti-gun. Quick and easy, no pain. I loved this book and will get the sequel and look for more from this author.
Pearlman is a professional and does a five star performance. I do have to mention, that I had just finished listening to Ray Porter do a Joe ledger book and felt Pearlman could work on her timing just a little. This is such a unique book and unique female character, that she could not have had much practice doing this type of book. The female lead in this book, is very similar to Joe Ledger and makes the same type of jokes.
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18 people found this helpful