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ManApePig
- Narrated by: Bart McInncel
- Length: 7 hrs and 29 mins
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Publisher's summary
My cheapskate girlfriend got us a "discount" couple's massage and we had to go to this one man and woman's house who looked like the two bad guys from Home Alone. The short little husband guy did my massage. He had like 58 times more oil than was necessary on his hands and they were all grotesquely soft. So, when he did your massage it just felt like someone was squishing a bunch of mashed potatoes all over you. And then he kept cracking his knuckles the whole time... as if it was adding something sensual to the experience. But it just felt like a bunch of carrots breaking. It was revolting. But I didn't wanna disappoint my girlfriend. So, I just kept lying there, face down in that slop. Oh, and of course they were playing some like, weird, silence of the lambs music. So, I was just lying there listening to that... trying not to inhale their incense... which of course smelled like a bunch of amputated civil war feet being incinerated.
Oh, and they made us sign a waiver too, that said we understood it wasn't a sexual experience. So, my girlfriend just drew a little frowny face next to that part. :( Awwwwww... Shucks. We were hoping Harry and Marv would be down for some role play. I could play that one old guy who smashes'm in the face with a snow shovel.
"Come 'ere, you naughty bandits..."
Oh, I'm supposed to be telling you about this book. Uhhhh... okay. So. This is the official Hitchhiker's Guide to Humanity, and once we understand where we originally came from, we can finally resolve the mysteries of our condition. We can become smarter, faster, stronger, healthier, more youthful, more vibrant, longer living, emotionally blissful, psychologically harmonized, romantically successful, and we can even become FOUR times wealthier. What?!?! Yep. But you'll never know the secrets unless you listen about it. So, you better! Or else I'll tell Harry and Marv where to find you.
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- A Lively Tour Through the Dark Side of the Natural World
- By: Dan Riskin
- Narrated by: Dan Riskin
- Length: 5 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 78
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 64
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 64
It may be a wonderful world, but as Dan Riskin explains, it's also a dangerous, disturbing, and disgusting one. At every turn, it seems, living things are trying to eat us, poison us, use our bodies as their homes, or have us spread their eggs. In Mother Nature Is Trying to Kill You, Riskin is our guide through the natural world at its most gloriously ruthless. Using the seven deadly sins as a road map, Riskin offers dozens of jaw-dropping examples that illuminate how brutal nature can truly be.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Just a bunch of random animal behaviors.
- By Goddess on 05-18-23
By: Dan Riskin
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You Might Be a Zombie and Other Bad News
- Shocking but Utterly True Facts
- By: Cracked.com
- Narrated by: Johnny Heller
- Length: 6 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,200
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,094
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1,090
You're going to wish you never got this audiobook. Some facts are too terrifying to teach in school. Unfortunately, Cracked.com is more than happy to fill you in. Think you're going to choose whether or not to buy this book? Scientists say your brain secretly makes all your decisions 10 seconds before you even know what they are.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Buenas fabulas de humor
- By Cynthia on 10-27-14
By: Cracked.com
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A Small Furry Prayer
- Dog Rescue and the Meaning of Life
- By: Steven Kotler
- Narrated by: Kevin Foley
- Length: 9 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 85
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 72
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Story4 out of 5 stars 72
Steven Kotler was 40 years old, single, and facing an existential crisis when he met Lila, a woman devoted to animal rescue. "Love me, love my dogs" was her rule, and Steven took it to heart. Spurred to move by a housing crisis in Los Angeles, Steven, Lila, and their eight dogs - then 10, then 20, and then they lost count - bought a postage-stamp-size farm in Chimayo, New Mexico....
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great book
- By Shirley on 08-29-11
By: Steven Kotler
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The Fear Project
- What Our Most Primal Emotion Taught Me About Survival, Success, Surfing...and Love
- By: Jaimal Yogis
- Narrated by: Jaimal Yogis
- Length: 5 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 99
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 85
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 86
An epic adventure full of incredible characters, death-defying athletic achievement, and bleeding edge science, The Fear Project began with one question: how can we overcome our fears to reach our full potential? Who among us has not been paralyzed by fear? In The Fear Project, award-winning journalist and surfer Jaimal Yogis sets out to better understand fear - why does it so often dominate our lives, what makes it tick, and is there even a way to use it to our advantage?
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3 out of 5 stars
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Pretty great subject and writing, bad narration
- By Marcos on 03-16-14
By: Jaimal Yogis
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The Last Crocodile Hunter
- By: Bob Irwin, Amanda French
- Narrated by: David Tredinnick
- Length: 12 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 59
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 56
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Story5 out of 5 stars 56
Bob Irwin's extraordinary life as a wildlife pioneer, father to wildlife warrior Steve and founder of Australia Zoo, told in his own words. Bob Irwin grew up in the Dandenong Ranges, where his passion for wildlife was born. A near-death experience while working as a plumber made Bob realise he needed to follow his dreams, so he and his wife, Lyn, moved their young family to Queensland, where they opened a wildlife park on the Sunshine Coast. The Irwin children grew up in around the Beerwah Reptile and Wildlife Park....
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great story!
- By Amazon Customer on 01-06-22
By: Bob Irwin, and others
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You're Making Me Hate You
- A Cantankerous Look at the Common Misconception That Humans Have Any Common Sense Left
- By: Corey Taylor
- Narrated by: Corey Taylor
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,176
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,064
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,060
In the tradition of the late, great George Carlin, Corey Taylor, the lead singer of Slipknot and Stone Sour, sounds off in hilarious fashion about the many vagaries of modern life that piss him off. Whether it's people's rude behavior in restaurants and malls, the many indignities of air travel, eye-searingly terrible fashion choices, dangerously clueless drivers, and - most of all - the sorry state of much modern music, Taylor's humor and insight cover civil society's seeming decline.
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5 out of 5 stars
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New perspective.
- By jeremy on 09-22-15
By: Corey Taylor
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The Fire Seekers
- The Babel Trilogy, Book 1
- By: Richard Farr
- Narrated by: Scott Merriman
- Length: 9 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 181
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 158
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Story4 out of 5 stars 160
An undeciphered language in Crete. A rash of mysterious disappearances, from Bolivia to Japan. An ancient warning at the ruins of Babel. And a new spiritual leader, who claims that human history as we understand it is about to come to an end.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A fresh story!
- By AB on 02-08-15
By: Richard Farr
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Wesley the Owl
- The Remarkable Love Story of an Owl and His Girl
- By: Stacey O'Brien
- Narrated by: Renée Raudman
- Length: 6 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 244
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 205
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Story5 out of 5 stars 204
Written with the same heartwarming sentiment that made the memoir Marley & Me a runaway best seller, biologist and owl expert Stacey O'Brien chronicles her rescue of an adorable, abandoned baby barn owl - and their astonishing and unprecedented 19-year life together.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Maybe good for children
- By Michael on 12-15-08
By: Stacey O'Brien
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Cat Daddy
- What the World's Most Incorrigible Cat Taught Me About Life, Love, and Coming Clean
- By: Jackson Galaxy, Joel Derfner
- Narrated by: Jackson Galaxy
- Length: 6 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,102
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,014
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,014
In this book, Galaxy tells the poignant story of his 13-year relationship with a petite gray-and-white short-haired cat named Benny, and gives singular advice for living with, caring for, and loving the feline in your home. When Benny arrived in his life, Galaxy was a down-and-out rock musician with not too much more going on than a part-time job at an animal shelter and a drug problem. Benny's previous owner brought the cat to the shelter in a cardboard box to give him up.
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5 out of 5 stars
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10 Stars!!!
- By Dawn J on 12-04-12
By: Jackson Galaxy, and others
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Scars and Stripes
- An Unapologetically American Story of Fighting the Taliban, UFC Warriors, and Myself
- By: Tim Kennedy, Nick Palmisciano
- Narrated by: Tim Kennedy
- Length: 15 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 13,636
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 12,340
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Story5 out of 5 stars 12,289
Tim Kennedy has a problem; he only feels alive right before he’s about to die. Kennedy, a Green Beret, decorated Army sniper, and UFC headliner, has tackled a bull with his bare hands, jumped out of airplanes, dove to the depths of the ocean, and traveled the world hunting poachers, human traffickers, and the Taliban. But he’s also the same man who got kicked out of the police department, fire department, and as an EMT, before getting two women pregnant four days apart, and finally, been beaten up by his Special Forces colleagues.
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5 out of 5 stars
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First review!!!
- By Amazon Customer on 06-07-22
By: Tim Kennedy, and others
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Wildflower
- By: Drew Barrymore
- Narrated by: Drew Barrymore
- Length: 7 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 5,620
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 5,029
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 4,999
Wildflower is a portrait of Drew's life in stories as she looks back on the adventures, challenges, and incredible experiences of her earlier years. It includes tales of living on her own at 14 (and how laundry may have saved her life), getting stuck in a gas station overhang on a cross-country road trip, saying good-bye to her father in a way only he could have understood, and many more adventures and lessons that have led her to the successful, happy, and healthy place she is today.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Hold the shrieking !
- By Dawne on 11-27-15
By: Drew Barrymore
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Dave Barry's Complete Guide to Guys
- By: Dave Barry
- Narrated by: John Ritter
- Length: 3 hrs and 18 mins
- Abridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 138
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 81
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Story4 out of 5 stars 80
The American guy is not to be confused with a husband, father, hunk, or intellectual, says guy expert Dave Barry. Published just in time (the American guy faces extinction due to feminism, the men's movement, and stricter sanitation laws), this guide gives women helpful advice for understanding Him (or It) and offers men useful tips on remembering the names of their children and other dilemmas of life.
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5 out of 5 stars
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I laughed all the way through
- By Alan Rither on 08-10-04
By: Dave Barry
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Dragonhaven
- By: Robin McKinley
- Narrated by: Noah Galvin
- Length: 13 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 233
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 205
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 207
Dragons are extinct in the wild, but the Makepeace Institute of Integrated Dragon Studies in Smokehill National Park is home to about two hundred of the world's remaining creatures. Until Jake discovers a dying dragon that has given birth - and one of the babies is still alive.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A master author at the top of her powers.
- By ShySusan on 08-11-13
By: Robin McKinley
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Fluke
- Or, I Know Why the Winged Whale Sings
- By: Christopher Moore
- Narrated by: Bill Irwin
- Length: 9 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,472
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,005
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,000
Just why do humpback whales sing? That's the question that has marine behavioral biologist Nate Quinn and his crew poking, charting, recording, and photographing very big, wet, gray marine mammals - until the extraordinary day when a whale lifts its tail into the air to display a cryptic message spelled out in foot-high letters: Bite Me.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Best way to ruin a good book.
- By colleen on 02-18-08
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Pym
- By: Mat Johnson
- Narrated by: J.D. Jackson
- Length: 11 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 130
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 110
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Story4 out of 5 stars 107
Acclaimed novelist Mat Johnson is the winner of the prestigious Hurston/Wright Legacy Award. After being sacked, American literature professor Chris Jaynes discovers a slave manuscript that seemingly confirms the existence of an “island of pure and utter blackness” as described in Poe’s Narrative of Arthur Gordon Pym. Soon Jaynes and a rag-tag crew embark on an epic adventure to discover the truth.
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5 out of 5 stars
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I would recommend this book to a friend.
- By Penda K on 07-20-15
By: Mat Johnson
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What Shamu Taught Me about Life, Love, and Marriage
- Lessons for People from Animals
- By: Amy Sutherland
- Narrated by: Hillary Huber
- Length: 5 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 143
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 101
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 100
While observing exotic animal trainers for her acclaimed book Kicked, Bitten, and Scratched, journalist Amy Sutherland had an epiphany: What if she used these training techniques with the human animals in her own life?
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5 out of 5 stars
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Quick and witty
- By Amazon Customer on 05-21-16
By: Amy Sutherland
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Should the Tent Be Burning Like That?
- A Professional Amateur's Guide to the Outdoors
- By: Bill Heavey
- Narrated by: Jeff Harding
- Length: 9 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 353
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 299
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 298
For more than 20 years, Heavey has staked a claim as one of America's best sportsmen writers. In feature stories and his Field & Stream column A Sportsman's Life, he has taken audiences across the country and beyond to experience his triumphs and failures as a suburban dad who happens to love hunting and fishing. This new collection gathers together a wide range of his best work - tales that are odes to the notion that enthusiasm is more important than skill and testaments to the enduring power of the natural world.
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5 out of 5 stars
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one of the best storytellers of all time!
- By Adam on 12-16-17
By: Bill Heavey
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The Fun Knowledge Encyclopedia
- The Crazy Stories Behind the World's Most Interesting Facts - Trivia Bill's General Knowledge, Volume 1
- By: Bill O'Neill
- Narrated by: Rob Maxwell
- Length: 5 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 109
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 100
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 99
Are you the trivia buff in your friend group? Maybe you're just always hoping to learn more random facts to keep up your sleeve. Whether you're a regular trivia fanatic or someone looking for a fun audiobook to listen to, this audiobook goes beyond the scope of general knowledge into some of the most interesting facts and intriguing trivia tidbits out there.
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5 out of 5 stars
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this book is awesome!
- By TinkerMel on 09-27-17
By: Bill O'Neill