Mid-Thirties Slightly Hot Mess Female Seeking Billionaire
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Narrated by:
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CJ Bloom
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Lance Greenfield
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By:
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J.S. Cooper
About this listen
To Whom It May Concern,
This is a long shot.
I'm seeking a billionaire. I will also settle for a millionaire. Sorry, I'm not interested in any salesmen looking to sell me a time-share or a part of their animal balloon company (been there, done that).
I am not a gold digger, though you may not believe that. I have references. Ask all my broke exes and my best friends.
To be fair, I am not a glamorous model, actress, or professional dancer. I do, however, take pole dancing lessons (for fun, of course, not dollar bills).
I am an educated (still have the student loans to prove it), open-minded (toy stores are fun, and not for games), fairly cute (when I try), only a little curvy (those last thirty pounds don't want to leave) single female. I want to be swept off my feet, wined, dined, and bedded in ways that make me forget my name.
I have a job (that I hate), with a boss who makes me want to jump off a cliff. However, my friends make up for the day job. I'm ready for an adventure—and possibly a penthouse with a maid and a design budget.
If interested, please respond before Monday morning so I don't have to go to work.
Love,
Sultry Sassy Sarah
Note to self: don't write stupid ads while half drunk and hanging out with immature, obnoxious friends. Certainly, do not post them on the internal company message thread by mistake. Do not freak out when your boss says he wants to see you in the office first thing Monday morning. And please never make a joke, asking how many dollar bills he has to make it rain, ever again.
I'm dead meat.
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All I Want for Christmas Is Not You
- By: J.S. Cooper
- Narrated by: Avery Caris
- Length: 6 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Trust me when I say you do not want to make the same mistake I did. His name is Colton. Colton Hart. He's my brother's best friend. My nemesis. The man who fired me after working for him for one hour. Now he's my latest mistake.
By: J.S. Cooper
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Never Been Tamed
- Single and Sassy in the City, Book 3
- By: J.S. Cooper
- Narrated by: Vincent Skye, Amanda Stribling
- Length: 9 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
I just announced my engagement to a hot billionaire. Yes, you read that right. A billionaire. My family is ecstatic and already celebrating. Only they don't know the truth. My engagement is faker than my Chanel handbag. My fake fiancé, Jackson Pruitt, is paying me to pretend to be in love with him so he can inherit his family's company. How cliché! My parents are planning free trips to Fiji. I'm counting down the days to end this thing. They don't know he's the same man I had a one-night stand with. Or the man who was super annoyed when Lenny at the bodega gave me his number.
By: J.S. Cooper
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Don't Quit the Day Job
- The Annoying Hot Bosses Club, Book 1
- By: J.S. Cooper
- Narrated by: Josie Vargas, Lucas Dixon
- Length: 9 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Dear Grumpy Horrible Boss, You suck as a lawyer. I don't even know how you passed the bar. Or how you sleep at night taking clients like Jack Whittington. Just in case you didn't know, you can't fire me just because I have a part-time job working bachelor parties. What I do on the weekend is none of your business and not a part of my employment contract. If I want to go back to wearing coconut bikinis and popping out of cakes, I can. As soon as I get my big break as an actress, I will be leaving your employ. I am literally counting down the days.
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Disappointing
- By Celeste on 01-28-25
By: J.S. Cooper
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Of Monsters, Men, & Moles
- The Marchesi Mafia Family, Book 1
- By: Natalia Lamb, J. S. Cooper
- Narrated by: Ri Paige, Thomas Locklear
- Length: 7 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
My roommate invited me to a party. I didn’t realize it was for a Mafia boss who was looking to select a wife. There were hundreds of women there, hoping to win the honor, but he was not my idea of a Prince Charming. He was tall, arrogant, cold, austere, and the most handsome man I’d ever seen. They called him Antonio “The Wolf” Marchesi, and the name sent a shiver down my spine. I decided to leave the party before my real identity was discovered. I climbed down a tree and slipped, and he caught me at the bottom. He held me like he didn’t want to let go.
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No sequel on Audible
- By Kelly Fiveash on 05-22-23
By: Natalia Lamb, and others
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Worst Date Ever
- The Worst Ever Series, Book 1
- By: J. S. Cooper
- Narrated by: Laurie West, Christian Black
- Length: 7 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
It had been one year, two months and seventeen days since my last date. So my best friend Abby decided to sign me up for a dating app. She guaranteed that she could get me the best date of my life within one week. I didn’t really want to do it, but I figured what did I have to lose? Turns out that I had.
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ONLY FEMALE NARRATOR
- By Steph D. on 10-17-21
By: J. S. Cooper
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Fumbled
- Vegas Aces: The Playbook, Book 1
- By: Lisa Suzanne
- Narrated by: Lance Greenfield, Callie Dalton
- Length: 5 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
-
Story
As a pro football player, I'm known for scoring both on and off the field. All that changes when a tragic accident leaves me as a single dad to a little girl. With both our lives flipped upside down, I'm scrambling to balance my career while supporting the needs of a girl who just had her life torn apart. My little black book is replaced with pink unicorns, and her peanut allergy means I have to rethink every meal I make. Despite my initial hesitation and uncertainty, I'm determined to do right by her. Then we meet her reading teacher, Victoria, who's everything I'm not.
By: Lisa Suzanne
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All I Want for Christmas Is Not You
- By: J.S. Cooper
- Narrated by: Avery Caris
- Length: 6 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Trust me when I say you do not want to make the same mistake I did. His name is Colton. Colton Hart. He's my brother's best friend. My nemesis. The man who fired me after working for him for one hour. Now he's my latest mistake.
By: J.S. Cooper
-
Never Been Tamed
- Single and Sassy in the City, Book 3
- By: J.S. Cooper
- Narrated by: Vincent Skye, Amanda Stribling
- Length: 9 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
I just announced my engagement to a hot billionaire. Yes, you read that right. A billionaire. My family is ecstatic and already celebrating. Only they don't know the truth. My engagement is faker than my Chanel handbag. My fake fiancé, Jackson Pruitt, is paying me to pretend to be in love with him so he can inherit his family's company. How cliché! My parents are planning free trips to Fiji. I'm counting down the days to end this thing. They don't know he's the same man I had a one-night stand with. Or the man who was super annoyed when Lenny at the bodega gave me his number.
By: J.S. Cooper
-
Don't Quit the Day Job
- The Annoying Hot Bosses Club, Book 1
- By: J.S. Cooper
- Narrated by: Josie Vargas, Lucas Dixon
- Length: 9 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Dear Grumpy Horrible Boss, You suck as a lawyer. I don't even know how you passed the bar. Or how you sleep at night taking clients like Jack Whittington. Just in case you didn't know, you can't fire me just because I have a part-time job working bachelor parties. What I do on the weekend is none of your business and not a part of my employment contract. If I want to go back to wearing coconut bikinis and popping out of cakes, I can. As soon as I get my big break as an actress, I will be leaving your employ. I am literally counting down the days.
-
-
Disappointing
- By Celeste on 01-28-25
By: J.S. Cooper
-
Of Monsters, Men, & Moles
- The Marchesi Mafia Family, Book 1
- By: Natalia Lamb, J. S. Cooper
- Narrated by: Ri Paige, Thomas Locklear
- Length: 7 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
My roommate invited me to a party. I didn’t realize it was for a Mafia boss who was looking to select a wife. There were hundreds of women there, hoping to win the honor, but he was not my idea of a Prince Charming. He was tall, arrogant, cold, austere, and the most handsome man I’d ever seen. They called him Antonio “The Wolf” Marchesi, and the name sent a shiver down my spine. I decided to leave the party before my real identity was discovered. I climbed down a tree and slipped, and he caught me at the bottom. He held me like he didn’t want to let go.
-
-
No sequel on Audible
- By Kelly Fiveash on 05-22-23
By: Natalia Lamb, and others
-
Worst Date Ever
- The Worst Ever Series, Book 1
- By: J. S. Cooper
- Narrated by: Laurie West, Christian Black
- Length: 7 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
It had been one year, two months and seventeen days since my last date. So my best friend Abby decided to sign me up for a dating app. She guaranteed that she could get me the best date of my life within one week. I didn’t really want to do it, but I figured what did I have to lose? Turns out that I had.
-
-
ONLY FEMALE NARRATOR
- By Steph D. on 10-17-21
By: J. S. Cooper
-
Fumbled
- Vegas Aces: The Playbook, Book 1
- By: Lisa Suzanne
- Narrated by: Lance Greenfield, Callie Dalton
- Length: 5 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
As a pro football player, I'm known for scoring both on and off the field. All that changes when a tragic accident leaves me as a single dad to a little girl. With both our lives flipped upside down, I'm scrambling to balance my career while supporting the needs of a girl who just had her life torn apart. My little black book is replaced with pink unicorns, and her peanut allergy means I have to rethink every meal I make. Despite my initial hesitation and uncertainty, I'm determined to do right by her. Then we meet her reading teacher, Victoria, who's everything I'm not.
By: Lisa Suzanne
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The Hit
- Team Zulu Series, Book 1
- By: Julie Weaver
- Narrated by: Kai Kennicott, Stephen Dexter
- Length: 11 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Being a contract killer for the mafia is easy. Take out the scumbag. Collect the cash. Go back to my uncomplicated life of solitude in the mountains. What I'm not prepared for is my next target. She's as innocent as I am sullied, and while most men cower in my presence, she stands up to me with enough sass and courage to stop me in my tracks. I have a decision to make. Carry out the contract and become as ruthless as the men I work for, or defy their orders and live with a target on my back. Which leaves me with one hell of an inconvenient problem.
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Obsessed with Shep!
- By Kaity on 09-22-24
By: Julie Weaver
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The Wrong Bridesmaid
- Cold Springs
- By: Lauren Landish
- Narrated by: CJ Bloom, Teddy Hamilton
- Length: 9 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
-
Story
Wyatt Ford hightailed it out of Cold Springs to get away from his influential family and the unwanted privilege that came with it. Returning for his brother’s wedding dredges up every reason he left. One unexpected bright spot: a curvy knockout who slings burgers, hustles pool…and hates the last name Ford.
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Grandpa Joe
- By Courtney S. on 03-26-23
By: Lauren Landish
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The Moretti Men: Devils Thirst
- Moretti Men, Book 1
- By: Jill Ramsower
- Narrated by: Brooke Daniels, Peter Alden
- Length: 9 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Amelie: I knew I shouldn't have asked him for a ride. My new neighbor is a study in contradictions—covered in tattoos and dripping intensity. He’s alluring yet aloof, and his every calculated move is dangerously seductive. Little did I know, he’s been systematically inserting himself into every part of my life. Creeping beneath my protective armor. Trapping me like a fly in his web before revealing his true identity.
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Lots of love & spice
- By Cat McK on 02-01-25
By: Jill Ramsower
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When He Desires
- A Dark Mafia Romance (Fallen God, Book 1)
- By: Gabrielle Sands
- Narrated by: Aiden Snow, Lucy Rivers
- Length: 9 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Pretending to date my handsome new housemate was already a bad idea, but then I discover he’s no ordinary guy—he’s a mobster in hiding. And in this story, he’s not the hero, but the wicked villain. Rowan Miller isn’t used to hearing the word “no.” I guess when you’re 6’5, gorgeously tattooed, and sculpted like a Michelangelo masterpiece, women tend to throw themselves at you. But in a small town like Darkwater Hollow, a reputation as a womanizer will catch up with you—and your business—eventually.
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Love anything Gabrielle writes.
- By Madison Squires on 02-02-25
By: Gabrielle Sands
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Filthy Liar
- Sweet Side
- By: Josie Watts, Janice Whiteaker
- Narrated by: Samantha Brentmoor, Shane East
- Length: 8 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
-
Story
Billionaire Fynn Hadaway is the total package. He’s tall, dark, and handsome, with a voice that could melt the panties off a nun. He’s also been having a few… issues of his own. Issues I think I can solve. As long as he agrees to my stipulations. The main one being, he becomes my new husband.
By: Josie Watts, and others
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This Much Is True
- By: Adriana Locke
- Narrated by: Shiloh James, Lance Greenfield
- Length: 6 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
A small-town romance featuring a big family, spice galore, and a happy ending.
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This Much Is True
- By Judy Portelles on 07-08-24
By: Adriana Locke
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The CEO Enemy
- Next Door to a Billionaire
- By: Jolie Day
- Narrated by: Jacob Morgan, Andi Arndt
- Length: 8 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Guess who moved in next door? NYC’s top bachelor. And I’m not swooning—I’m cringing. He’s everything I despise. Grumpy. Arrogant. The neighbor from hell. The bigger bombshell? He’s a cutthroat hotel tycoon, now a major shareholder in my hotel. And guess what? He’s convinced he can charm me out of the rest.
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Read if you want porn
- By Amazon Customer on 11-16-24
By: Jolie Day
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The Mr. Right Checklist
- By: Melissa Foster
- Narrated by: Sebastian York, Savannah Peachwood
- Length: 8 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Dog groomer and budding marriage-proposal planner Destiny Amor believes in true love and happily ever afters. Though it’s not in the stars for her yet—honestly, who can live up to the criteria on her Mr. Right Checklist?—she wants it for others. When Destiny’s first misguided attempt at romance concierge ends in disaster, she’s ready to call it quits, until the supposed groom-to-be steps in with a proposal of his own.
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just what I needed
- By Amazon Customer on 01-30-25
By: Melissa Foster
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The Playboy
- Spade Hotel, Book 1
- By: Marni Mann
- Narrated by: Savannah Peachwood, Tor Thom
- Length: 10 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
With one glance at her in the club, I’m ready to claim her for the night. Dark, flowing hair. A smile that causes my heart to pound. Eyes that pierce my soul. And a perfect body that makes every part of me pulse. She’s addictive. Electrifying. Consuming. I’ve never wanted anyone more. Our eyes meet, but she looks right past me. She isn’t here for me. She’s here for the music. For the first time in my life, a woman makes me work for it. Her indifference fuels the fire inside me. The result? One night. No names. No introductions.
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Tor Thom
- By Monica Vogel on 03-15-24
By: Marni Mann
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Ice Cold Player
- Beyond the Ice, Book 1
- By: Nikki Hall
- Narrated by: Samantha Cook, Bryant Walker
- Length: 6 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Anyone but her. Eva Adams—the entitled, picture-perfect cheer princess. Incapable of empathy, patently manipulative, and absolutely beautiful. I can't afford her drama—I just want to play my last year of hockey without being kicked out of TU, but there she is on my first day back. Crying. In a weak moment, I make her an offer. An agreement I never thought she'd take. Except she surprises me, and now I'm faced with a dilemma. Protect my secrets… or win the girl.
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Not bad. Story line was ok.
- By Denise M. Mcginnis on 01-06-25
By: Nikki Hall
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Never Marry Your Brother's Best Friend
- Never Say Never, Book 1
- By: Lauren Landish
- Narrated by: Carly Robins, Lee Samuels
- Length: 11 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
When my brother’s best friend asks me to fake marry him to secure a business deal he desperately needs, I laugh in his face. Me, help Carter Harrington? That’s split-your-pants, rip-roaring hilarious. I don’t even like him.
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You um… lost me with this one.
- By Shaunta on 02-28-23
By: Lauren Landish
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The Player + the Pact = I Do
- By: Louise Bay
- Narrated by: Shane East, Erin Mallon
- Length: 7 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
I hate my boss. Like, loathe him. Two years ago, he semi-broke my heart and he still doesn’t remember who I am. Okay so I was covered in electric blue body paint, and wearing a wig, but is that a good excuse to not remember the girl you said was your destiny? Now I’m stuck working for the jerk because only he can give me the job I really want—manager of his hotel. When he needs a fake fiancé for business reasons, there’s an easy solution—blackmail. He has to give me a trial run as hotel manager in return for wearing his ring.
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Female narrator issues
- By Noname on 10-13-24
By: Louise Bay
What listeners say about Mid-Thirties Slightly Hot Mess Female Seeking Billionaire
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
- Private
- 09-26-24
Hilarious
I laughed a lot during this book! The pole dance bet was hysterical 🤣🤣🤣.
I appreciated the uptodate dialog, music references, and body image for both male and female characters.
Im never a fan of drawn out angst drama.
There’s angst in the storyline but their banter made it feel very light.
The performance was ok. I always like Bloom! Greenfield was ok, He has an awkward emphasis at the end of sentences and he’s a bit high pitched and I prefer a deeper tone.
Overall it’s worth it! Going to get the next book too!
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