Midlife

A Philosophical Guide

By: Kieran Setiya

Narrated by: Stephen R. Thorne

Philosophical wisdom and practical advice for overcoming the problems of middle age.

How can you reconcile yourself with the lives you will never lead, with possibilities foreclosed, and with nostalgia for lost youth? How can you accept the failings of the past, the sense of futility in the tasks that consume the present, and the prospect of death that blights the future? In this self-help book with a difference, Kieran Setiya confronts the inevitable challenges of adulthood and middle age, showing how philosophy can help you thrive.

You will learn why missing out might be a good thing, how options are overrated, and when you should be glad you made a mistake. You will be introduced to philosophical consolations for mortality. And you will learn what it would mean to live in the present, how it could solve your midlife crisis, and why meditation helps.

Ranging from Aristotle, Schopenhauer, and John Stuart Mill to Virginia Woolf and Simone de Beauvoir, as well as drawing on Setiya's own experience, Midlife combines imaginative ideas, surprising insights, and practical advice. Writing with wisdom and wit, Setiya makes a wry but passionate case for philosophy as a guide to life.

©2017 Princeton University Press (P)2018 Tantor

Critic reviews

"A delightful amalgam of self-help and intellectual inquiry." ---The Economist

Academic, tedious, with a few insights

Initially I liked the book’s bite - sharp commentary, some dappled humor. But it quickly felt tiring to listen to - overly scholastic, with big words and extremely dense content leaving your head with a sense of tension or disorientation. Somehow I finished it, and in the end I appreciated a few of the book’s insights.

the last chapters are really great

the middle of the book is unnecessarily exhaustive where the author wants to show off his knowledge.

Thoughtful, Precise, and Helpful

Kierans application of rigorous thought to discuss and offer insights on common challenges faced by people during times of uncertainty. I found this deeply helpful and deserving a second reading.

Enjoy the process, not the destination

Enjoy the process, not the destination; that’s the gist of the book, the rest is commentary. Now go experience. - to paraphrase a story told in the book.

Practical application for the every man in midlife

practical yet inspiring advice with just the right amount of intellectual enlightenment. the push that you need to ensure to keep the faith… the crisis is the norm and it’s a slow rise up from here on out,

Good message, a bit dense

This book is very interesting and the message is good and we'll received. My husband and I listened together and found it difficult to follow at times as the philosophical language is quite dense - possibly better read in print

Midlife: A Crisis or Life

most meaningful information was the fact that life is going to happen and the crisis is life happening. it will happen to all of us regardless of the timing. people should understand that we all have decisions in life and avoiding life is a big part of the problem

Well worth the Listen

I like that the author broke down the vague dissatisfaction we often feel at midlife into its various underlying causes. Being supplied with that information made addressing the problems more manageable. There were lots of “aha” moments for me. The book posed questions and gave answers that I hadn’t considered previously. While I didn’t necessarily agree with all the questions and solutions proffered, they did stimulate my own questions and solutions which, for me, is what a great philosophy book is all about; a springboard to deeper inquiry and self examination. I recommend this book to everyone, if you’re young it’ll help you understand better what your parents might be going through and what awaits you at midlife. If you’re older it’ll help you put in perspective what you went through and help tie up any loose ends in your processing of your midlife crises. I gave the book 5 stars because the information was useful and the narrator was the right fit for the material. You need both for an audiobook to work and this book had that magic combination. I hope you find this book as interesting and useful as I did.

Incomplete

I liked 90% of this book. But the last chapter was a dud. His misinterpretation of Buddhist philosophy means that ultimately, if you follow his advice, you will only get some of the eay. Which, in fairness, is further than most westerners steeped in our European traditions.

Where he goes wrong is his use of the poor translation of Sunyata (often translated incorrectly as no self because there's no direct translation). Instead, the meaning is closer to there is no independent self. Thich Naht Hahn was one of the best writers and speakers on this topic. You are interdependent of all the conditions of culture, history, nature, and every other person on the planet. Those conditions are ever changing. If you attach to the idea of permanence, that is why you suffer. No well practiced Buddhist who has spent a lot of time on the cushion will tell you that the goal is to avoid all attachment. Even Allen Watts, whom he briefly references tells a story where the Buddha correctly taught his monks that getting rid of attachment is just another attachment. So again, this author fundamentally misunderstands the Buddhist project.

I've been a practicing Buddhist for 9 years. I've been reading Buddhist philosophy and mediating across traditions for 20 years. To truly understand the meaning of Sunyata requires thousands of hours of consistent meditation. One can know it's meaning but internalized wisdom takes years. Most Buddhist teachers will tell you 10 years of daily practice for a glimpse for most and 20 for understanding.

This author falls into the same trap as virtually every other philosopher of the west since the Greeks. They look entirely to the individual for answers. This is why, halfway through undergrad, I abandoned as much of western philosophy as I could (though grad school is impossible without it, so I read plenty there) and switched to the philosophy of Asia from India, to China, to Japan.

I'm about to turn 40. While I've had plenty of crisis, I can't say I've ever had a midlife one. Maybe it's because since I turned 31 I've been working with my mind. Maybe it's because my life as an Adjunct professor of Anthropology has been a precarious one, but in either case, this book misses the mark.

With all that said. It's still worth reading, especially if you have no interest in dedication to a contemplative practice.

I got lost

Too dry for me. Information overload of dense & lengthy research based conclusions. I just gave up listening.