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Modern Romance  By  cover art

Modern Romance

By: Aziz Ansari, Eric Klinenberg
Narrated by: Aziz Ansari, Eric Klinenberg
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Publisher's summary

The number one New York Times best seller.

A hilarious, thoughtful, and in-depth exploration of the pleasures and perils of modern romance from Aziz Ansari, the star of Master of None and one of this generation’s sharpest comedic voices.

At some point, every one of us embarks on a journey to find love. We meet people, date, get into and out of relationships, all with the hope of finding someone with whom we share a deep connection. This seems standard now, but it’s wildly different from what people did even just decades ago. Single people today have more romantic options than at any point in human history. With technology, our abilities to connect with and sort through these options are staggering. So why are so many people frustrated?

Some of our problems are unique to our time. “Why did this guy just text me an emoji of a pizza?”, “Should I go out with this girl even though she listed Combos as one of her favorite snack foods? Combos?!”, “My girlfriend just got a message from some dude named Nathan. Who’s Nathan? Did he just send her a photo of his penis? Should I check just to be sure?”.

But the transformation of our romantic lives can’t be explained by technology alone. In a short period of time, the whole culture of finding love has changed dramatically. A few decades ago, people would find a decent person who lived in their neighborhood. Their families would meet and, after deciding neither party seemed like a murderer, they would get married and soon have a kid, all by the time they were 24. Today, people marry later than ever and spend years of their lives on a quest to find the perfect person, a soul mate.

For years, Aziz Ansari has been aiming his comic insight at modern romance, but for Modern Romance, the book, he decided he needed to take things to another level. He teamed up with NYU sociologist Eric Klinenberg and designed a massive research project, including hundreds of interviews and focus groups conducted everywhere from Tokyo to Buenos Aires to Wichita. They analyzed behavioral data and surveys and created their own online research forum on Reddit, which drew thousands of messages. They enlisted the world’s leading social scientists, including Andrew Cherlin, Eli Finkel, Helen Fisher, Sheena Iyengar, Barry Schwartz, Sherry Turkle, and Robb Willer. The result is unlike any social science or humor book we’ve seen before.

In Modern Romance, Ansari combines his irreverent humor with cutting-edge social science to give us an unforgettable tour of our new romantic world.

©2015 Aziz Ansari (P)2015 Penguin Audio

Critic reviews

“An engaging look at the often head-scratching, frequently infuriating mating behaviors that shape our love lives.” (Refinery 29)

"With topics like online dating apps to serious social science research, the book is sure to have you laughing if not taking a few notes." (USA Today)

"Entertaining and illuminating." (The Guardian)

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What listeners say about Modern Romance

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  • ty
  • 08-23-15

Entertaining and informative

What did you love best about Modern Romance?

There were several moments that left me laughing out loud. Aziz is a comedian, and its shown in his writing and narration. I could not put the book down during the first half, it was well researched, well read and hilarious. Aziz and his research partner provided great insights into modern dating and technology. I felt inspired and entertained!

The second half of the book, I felt more of Aziz's personal bias come into play when discussing marriage, sexuality and romance. I found the interviews of the elderly and marriage to be really entertaining as well as the differences in various cultures around the world. However, the final chapters on cheating were largely only supported by the Reddit thread and seemed to promote infidelity, disloyalty and open sexual relationships in lieu of marriage or committed partnerships. It just felt like the first half of the book was a hopeful and interesting analysis into finding love and the final few chapters left me feeling it was a search for sex instead.

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77 people found this helpful

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Pretty impressive

I picked up this title on Jon Stewart's recommendation, and wasn't disappointed. And despite Ansari's merciless criticism of audiobook listeners/buyers, I was glad to have the audio version with the ad libs and the hilarious accents, which make this much more than a self-help book or a practical guide to dating in the 21st century. The only small issue I had with the structure of the book was the proportion of the latter chapters, which felt less researched and not as well thought out as the earlier ones.

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49 people found this helpful

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Not stand-up but still funny.

I initially thought this was a memoir, it turned out to be so much more. I never knew about the "rules" of texting in a new relationship or how to navigate the text/email/voice call protocols of the new generation. VERY interesting look into the dating habits of modern Americans.

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45 people found this helpful

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Aziz is the Beez Kneez

Ever wanted a comedian to narrate and comment on a series of expansive sociological studies? It's totally the opposite of how bad that sounds!

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35 people found this helpful

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Honest and surprisingly encouraging

Books, podcasts, scientific studies, and blogs about modern love often make me feel pessimistic about romance. Aziz discusses the ups and downs of love in a positive but honest way. I also appreciate the respect he shows to the LGBT community in the forward. Good read for single people struggling with online dating and people in relationships who want to better understand committed love. Good on you Aziz! I bet this will help a lot of people, and entertain even more.

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30 people found this helpful

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10/10 would listen to this audio book again

I honestly did not know what this book was about when I purchased it. I just knew that I love Aziz. The book ended up being a dissection of modern romance. This topic really resonated with me. I've gained a lot of new perspective on the modern romance, all while cracking up to one of my favorite comedians telling stories. I've recommended this book to several of my friends. I would recommend it to anyone.

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24 people found this helpful

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Maybe you have to be younger to love this

I enjoy comedy, I teach teens, and I have three young adult children, so I thought I'd love this, but I didn't. It was okay. This is a stand-up comic's look at love in the modern age, much like my generation had Love American Style on TV in the '70's. I smiled at parts of this audiobook, and ended out listening in small bits. About halfway through, I just stopped because I had too many more appealing books waiting for me in my library. This was recommended to me by a young person. Even though I think of myself as young at heart, I guess I'm more of a Billy Crystal guy. While I can see Aziz's appeal, if you're middle-aged or older, this might not be as enjoyable to you.

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20 people found this helpful

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Aziz just gets it.

We've always had these thoughts. It's nice to see a public figure that goes into the science of a topic as complicated as this. It's kinda scary because I'm a young man, but gives me insight that I never had.

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18 people found this helpful

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great book, but the end is sloppy

great book, read by the author who's a funny actor and funny guy.
he did a lot of work, I liked the analysis and the social experiments they carried.

The author covers nicely how people date in the US. He goes then to Japan to compare. The Japan part is fine. Then he goes to Paris and Buenos Aires. I can tell you, as a French, that his conclusions on the dating behaviors in France and Argentina are wrong. He just falls in the trap to try to explain the cliches. unfortunately, you don't understand how people date by staying a couple of weeks in a country. So fellas, no, sorry to disappoint you, but French people aren't all in open relationships. it is actually quiet the opposite, and dating is in fact somewhat more open in the US.

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10 people found this helpful

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recommended to parents of millennials

Modern Romance: An Investigation is an entertaining and of great interest to me as a mother of a millennial. I'm not as clueless as some, being conversant with computer and mobile technologies. Parents of millennials and teenage who don't understand your kids and their phones, this book could help bring you up to speed.

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10 people found this helpful