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Out Late With David

By: David Cotton
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  • Summary

  • I'm a life coach who came out later in life as gay. Join me as I talk with others who’ve made this LGBTQ+ coming out journey later in their lives to become who they really are.
    Out Late With David: Coming Out Later in Life LGBTQ+
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Episodes
  • Ron Bunnell - 39 years into his marriage before he came out to his wife; now living a full life

    Ron Bunnell - 39 years into his marriage before he came out to his wife; now living a full life
    Jul 20 2024
    Summary

    Ron Bunnell shares his journey of coming out as gay later in life and the impact it had on his marriage. Despite initial fears, Ron's wife, Barb, showed love and support, and they were able to rebuild their relationship. Ron emphasizes the importance of being authentic and true to oneself, even if it means facing challenges. He also highlights the significance of finding support from others in similar situations. Ron's story serves as an inspiration for those navigating mixed orientation marriages and coming out later in life.

    Keywords coming out, late in life, marriage, support, authenticity

    Takeaways
    • Coming out later in life can be a challenging journey, but it is worth pursuing authenticity and being true to oneself.
    • Support from loved ones, like Ron's wife Barb, can make a significant difference in navigating the complexities of a mixed orientation marriage.
    • Finding a support group or community of individuals in similar situations can provide valuable guidance and understanding.
    • Ron's story highlights the importance of love, acceptance, and open-mindedness in relationships and families.
    Sound Bites
    • "I literally thought my life would end as I knew it"
    • "She wanted me to text her updates on what's going on"
    • "I have young friends who don't even have a coming out story, I'm just myself"
    Chapters
    00:00 - Introduction: David Cotton's Out Late Podcast
    01:13- Ron's Decision to Come Out to His Wife
    03:11- Barb's Surprising Reaction and the Rebuilding of Their Relationship
    08:27- Challenges and Complications in Ron's Journey 13:43- Ron's Childhood and Early Signs of His Sexual Orientation
    17:53- The Social and Cultural Context of Ron's Coming Out Journey
    19:19- The Impact of Ron's Sexual Orientation on His Marriage
    22:00- Finding Support and Meeting Scott
    25:14- The Kidney Donation and Its Impact on Ron and Barb's Relationship
    28:36- Barb's Lasting Support and Ron's Advice for Others
    33:02- Closing Remarks: Ron's Inspiring Journey

    Book Recommendation: Over the Cliff: Gay Husbands in Straight Marriages – Bonnie Kaye and Doug Dittmer - https://a.co/d/cMEgHNO

    Podcast website and resources: https://www.OutLateWithDavid.com

    YouTube Edition: https://youtu.be/ep8EEuvEn1U

    YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvsthP9yClKI4o5LxbuQnOg

    Certified Professional Life Coach, David Cotton: https://www.DavidCottonCoaching.com

    Contact me: mailto:david@davidcottoncoaching.com
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    34 mins
  • Brian Beaudette - after being married for 20 years he struggled with the impact on his family

    Brian Beaudette - after being married for 20 years he struggled with the impact on his family
    Jun 5 2024
    Summary

    David's guest, Brian, first came out to his wife over 20 years ago but chose to stay married for the sake of his family. It took ten years for him to decide it was time to live a different kind of life. Today, at age 59 he can finally say he’s “found his tribe.”

    Takeaways
    • The struggle of coming out after being married for 20 years
    • The impact of coming out on family, work, and community
    • Finding a supportive LGBTQ+ community and a sense of belonging
    • The relief of embracing authenticity and self-discovery
    Chapters

    00:00 The Struggle of Coming Out After 20 Years of Marriage
    05:57 Finding Support and Belonging in the LGBTQ+ Community
    11:41 Embracing Authenticity and Self-Discovery After Coming Out

    Book Recommendation: Gay Men and The New Way Forward, by Raymond L. Rigoglioso - https://a.co/d/7uByFA9

    Podcast website and resources: https://www.OutLateWithDavid.com

    YouTube Edition: https://youtu.be/X5L6lz_TX64

    YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvsthP9yClKI4o5LxbuQnOg

    Certified Professional Life Coach, David Cotton: https://www.DavidCottonCoaching.com

    Contact me: mailto:david@davidcottoncoaching.com

    © 2024 David Cotton Coaching, LLC. All rights reserved.The "Out Late With David" podcast and its content are the property of David Cotton Coaching, LLC. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from David Cotton Coaching, LLC is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to "Out Late With David" and David Cotton Coaching, LLC with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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    27 mins
  • Kristin Kalbli - The Impact of Coming Out on Straight Spouses

    Kristin Kalbli - The Impact of Coming Out on Straight Spouses
    May 5 2024
    SummaryIn this episode, David Cotton interviews Kristin Kalbli, the host of Our Voices podcast and an LGBT ally. Kristin shares her experience as a straight spouse and her mission to help others in similar situations. They discuss the signs that Kristin missed in her marriage, the impact of her husband's coming out on their relationship, and the importance of honesty and communication in the coming out process. Kristin asks David about his own coming out to his spouse. They also talk about the creation of a guide for coming out to straight partners and spouses, and the need for support and understanding for both parties involved.TakeawaysThe coming out process can have a significant impact on straight spouses, who may feel betrayed, confused, and humiliated.Honesty and open communication are crucial in the coming out process, both for the LGBT spouse and the straight spouse.Straight spouses may have questions and need time to process the news, and it's important for the LGBT spouse to be patient and understanding.Creating a guide for coming out to straight partners and spouses can help avoid unnecessary pain and damage in the relationship.Support and empathy are essential for both parties involved in a mixed orientation marriage.Sound Bites"The hardest thing that took me the longest to forgive was not that he was gay, not that he was in the closet, but that he didn't let me go so that I could find a loving relationship with a man who was interested in me, loved me, desired me, wanted to have a robust sexual relationship with me.""If you're in a position to honor what your spouse would like, whether that's answering their questions or giving them no contact for a while, I think following their lead on that is wise.""Pride month can be really difficult for straight spouses. And that's not an indication of bigotry. Many straight spouses have LGBT kids and are fierce allies and defenders of their kids, right? But pride month can be really painful because then you ask yourself the question, well, if he's living his true self now, then I was a part of a lie."Chapters00:00 Introduction and Background01:09 Kristin's Experience as a Straight Spouse09:49 Resources for Straight Spouses14:11 The Coming Out Process and Its Impact28:46 Preparing to Come Out to a Straight Spouse31:31 Supporting the Straight Spouse35:42 Honesty and Accountability39:34 ConclusionInformation About Kristin Kalbli and OurPathOut Path Out Voice: https://ourpath.org/our-voices/Guide to coming out as lesbian, gay or bisexual to your straight partner or spouse - by OurPath: https://emfjjpdexyu.exactdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/OP-GuideToComingOutLGB-r1.pdfBook RecommendationThe Other Side of the Closet: The Coming-Out Crisis for Straight Spouses and Families, by Amity Pierce Buxton - https://a.co/d/129LQiC Podcast website and resources: https://www.OutLateWithDavid.com YouTube Edition: https://youtu.be/vv20ZumingY YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvsthP9yClKI4o5LxbuQnOg Certified Professional Life Coach, David Cotton: https://www.DavidCottonCoaching.com Contact David: mailto:david@davidcottoncoaching.com© 2024 David Cotton Coaching, LLC. All rights reserved.The "Out Late With David" podcast and its content are the property of David Cotton Coaching, LLC. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from David Cotton Coaching, LLC is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to "Out Late With David" and David Cotton Coaching, LLC with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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    40 mins
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