Refusing Compulsory Sexuality

A Black Asexual Lens on Our Sex-Obsessed Culture

By: Sherronda J. Brown, Hess Love - foreword, Grace B Freedom - afterword

Narrated by: Yu-Li Alice Shen

For listeners of Ace and Belly of the Beast: A Black queer feminist exploration of asexuality—and an incisive interrogation of the sex-obsessed culture that invisibilizes and ignores asexual and A-spec identity.

Everything you know about sex and asexuality is (probably) wrong.

The notion that everyone wants sex—and that we all have to have it—is false. It’s intertwined with our ideas about capitalism, race, gender, and queerness. And it impacts the most marginalized among us. For asexual folks, it means that ace and A-spec identity is often defined by a queerness that’s not queer enough, seen through a lens of perceived lack: lack of pleasure, connection, joy, maturity, and even humanity.

In this exploration of what it means to be Black and asexual in America today, Sherronda J. Brown offers new perspectives on asexuality. She takes an incisive look at how anti-Blackness, white supremacy, patriarchy, heteronormativity, and capitalism enact harm against asexual people, contextualizing acephobia within a racial framework in the first book of its kind. Brown advocates for the “A” in LGBTQIA+, affirming that to be asexual is to be queer—despite the gatekeeping and denial that often says otherwise.

With chapters on desire, f--kability, utility, refusal, and possibilities, Refusing Compulsory Sexuality discusses topics of deep relevance to ace and a-spec communities. It centers the Black asexual experience—and demands visibility in a world that pathologizes and denies asexuality, denigrates queerness, and specifically sexualizes Black people.

A necessary and unapologetic reclamation, Refusing Compulsory Sexuality is smart, timely, and an essential book for asexuals, aromantics, queer listeners, and anyone looking to better understand sexual politics in America.

©2022 Sherronda J. Brown (P)2022 North Atlantic Books

Critic reviews

“Highly educational, expertly researched, and easy to digest, Refusing Compulsory Sexuality eloquently reframes our understanding of asexuality, Blackness, and how the two intersect, providing an essential contribution to a discussion that is often dominated by white voices and perspectives.”—Yasmin Benoit, asexual activist and model

“Sherronda’s writings continue to be a gift to the reader. With Refusing Compulsory Sexuality, they expand our understanding of gender, sexuality, and (anti-) Blackness with deftness and precision while also pushing us to rethink our understanding of asexuality and our relationships with ourselves and others. Without any doubt, people will find themselves in this book after spending years trying to find themselves elsewhere, and for those readers, this book will be home.”—Lara Witt, writer and editorial director of Prism

“With Refusing Compulsory Sexuality, Sherronda continues to introduce us all to a new and/or deeper perspective on (a)sexuality, queerness, and desire with razor-sharp racial analysis, limpid prose, and incredible research. She is keenly aware of the ways that Black folks have often been removed from conversations specific to asexuality; the ways that the hypersexualization of queer identity has played a significant role in the subjugation of folks on (and outside of) the ace spectrum; and the ways that the hypersexualization of Black flesh is a particular form of anti-Blackness that has been employed by white and non-Black people for centuries—across political lines—to hurt, harm, and abuse Black(ened) subjects…. Sherronda proves with Refusing Compulsory Sexuality that they are a leading thinker in asexuality scholarship; gender and sexuality studies will never be the same.”—Da’Shaun L. Harrison, author of Belly of the Beast

relatable (love it)

I've been an outspoken mixed race asexual for about 8 years now. it's very nice hearing I'm not alone, at all. these experiences I've had are not isolated to me alone. thank you so much for writing this Sherronda!

Important and Insightful

"The future we imagine must be a reality in which we collectively do more to combat the things that continually leave asexuals unprotected. To create this future, we have to consistently challenge both compulsory sexuality and white supremacist ideologies" (chapter "Possibilities," print book page 169)
"The Black asexual is rendered impossible through the (il)logics of anti-Black sexual racism, white supremacy, and compulsory sexuality. A world that allows for Black asexuals to be seen as possible, to live more freely in our asexuality, would also be a revolution for all others racialized, gendered, and queered. Such a world requires us to combat white supremacist ideologies and the very idea of 'human'" (chapter "Unhuman," print book page 122)

Highly rec!

Thought provoking about multiple topics and many moments of feeling seen. Helped me on my journey of having a healthier perspective on sexuality. Definitely heed the content warnings for each chapter. There is a lot of mention of situations that could be possibly upsetting. Only critiques (story & performance combined) would be for the use of references. It felt like too many references to tweets (I don't find those to be helpful), and when other works were referenced I couldn't quite tell when the quote started or ended, or why the author would explain another author's idea in depth, rather than recommend we read the referenced work ourselves. Narration was good, a bit monotone, but also slightly aggressive in a way that gave me anxiety. I'm pretty picky about narration, though.

Their pen!

Brown articulates so many topics in that I’ve contemplated and resonated with yet could not quite explain. Grateful for their mind!

Eye Opening and Validating

Three things: Firstly, the narration done by Yu-Li Alice Shen was impeccable! Secondly, Sherronda J. Brown should have won an award for this book and it is an injustice that she did not. Thirdly, this book was well written, expertly researched and highly educational and validating. Sherronda writes from a rarely seen perspective that is highly refreshing and informative, while reaffirming the existence of acespec individuals living within a society that would often times wish to erase it or overwrite it. Bravo!

Finally

I loved this book & didn't want it to end! I feel validated in a way that I didn't feel with Ace by Angela Chen (started that book when it first came out & still working on it). I now have language that describes how I've felt my entire life. The book is academic in it's approach & I quickly got used to it. I wish they went with a Black narrator, but Yu-Li Alice Shen did a great job! Sherronda J. Brown, thank you!

A much needed, groundbreaking book!

this was a deeply informative and pioneering book with a compelling performance. highly recommended

My heart swells for I am finally seen!

This book is wonderful! There’s so much care and intention in the text! Thank you!!

Asexuality within a historical and political context

This is the book i needed as a teen in the 00’s and the book i needed in my 20s. But I have it now and am grateful for it.

If you are a marginalized person, aware of the mechanisms that create the conditions for your marginalization, this book will help clarify how those same mechanisms manifest in how your sexuality/asexuality is perceived/treated by society and how it manifests in the self as well.

The etymology of ‘radical’ is related to the word for ‘root’. In that sense, this book is a radical review of the root reasons for compulsory sexuality and the harm it inflicts.

A necessary text for our world

The concepts and facts in this book helped me learn about myself and our society in ways no other book has in years. I hope more people pick this book up. It’s critical reading in the healing of our world.