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Rules for Visiting  By  cover art

Rules for Visiting

By: Jessica Francis Kane
Narrated by: Emily Rankin
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Publisher's summary

National Best Seller

Named One of the Best Books of the Year By: O Magazine * Good Housekeeping * Real Simple * Vulture * Chicago Tribune

Named One of the Best Books of the Summer By: The Today Show * Good Morning America * Wall Street Journal * San Francisco Chronicle * Southern Living

An INDIE NEXT LIST Pick

PickShortlisted for the 2020 Bollinger Everyman Wodehouse Prize

Long-listed for the 2020 Tournament of Books

"Fun, hilarious, and extremely touching." (NPR)

A beautifully observed and deeply funny novel of May Attaway, a university gardener who sets out on an odyssey to reconnect with four old friends over the course of a year.

At 40, May Attaway is more at home with plants than people. Over the years, she's turned inward, finding pleasure in language, her work as a gardener, and keeping her neighbors at arm's length while keenly observing them. But when she is unexpectedly granted some leave from her job, May is inspired to reconnect with four once close friends. She knows they will never have a proper reunion, so she goes, one-by-one, to each of them. A student of the classics, May considers her journey a female Odyssey. What might the world have had if, instead of waiting, Penelope had set out on an adventure of her own?

Rules for Visiting is a woman's exploration of friendship in the digital age. Deeply alert to the nobility and the ridiculousness of ordinary people, May savors the pleasures along the way - afternoon ice cream with a long-lost friend, surprise postcards from an unexpected crush, and a moving encounter with ancient beauty. Though she gets a taste of viral online fame, May chooses to bypass her friends' perfectly cultivated online lives to instead meet them in their messy analog ones. Ultimately, May learns that a best friend is someone who knows your story - and she inspires us all to master the art of visiting.

©2019 Jessica Francis Kane (P)2019 Penguin Audio

Critic reviews

"When 40-year-old gardener May receives a surprise windfall of one month of vacation from the university where she works, she decides to visit four old friends, each one from different periods of her life. Through this initially simple and irresistible starting point, Jessica Francis Kane investigates the most universal mysteries of all." (Isaac Fitzgerald, Today)

“This beautiful novel tackles loneliness in the digital age and the lost art of visiting. Introvert May Attaway is granted some unexpected time off as a university gardener and is inspired to reconnect with four once-close friends. May chooses to bypass her friends' perfectly cultivated online lives to instead meet them IRL. Gives a whole new meaning to Instagram vs. reality.” (Good Morning America)

"This spirit-warming saga, an antidote to the uncivil, is a novel to be read again and again, whenever one needs a reminder to seize the day.... Treat yourself to Jessica Francis Kane's novel Rules for Visiting, an elixir in book form about a quest for friendship that could have been written by Jane Austen’s great great-great-granddaughter.” (O Magazine)

What listeners say about Rules for Visiting

Average customer ratings
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  • Overall
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Three and a half stars

Great writing , mediocre story, until about the last 2 hours , then very moving on friendship , moments of 5 stars writing and heart squeezing. Lots on trees and gardens , probably ala the Ovestory which I haven’t read yet.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

An unexpected pleasure

I found this story to be very touching - a socially awkward botanist finds her way via trees, old friends and Emily Post. Hard to describe. Give it a chance and you may be drawn in as I was. And contrary to some reviews here, I thought the narrator was just right.

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1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Friendship & Trees

This is a warm story that teaches much about friendship and trees. One can simply focus on the narrative involving relationships between the human species, but the story is richer with the juxtaposition of the natural world. I was inspired to learn more about trees and plants. This story could be the lighter, more easy-going cousin of Richard Power's Overstory.

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6 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

delightful, intuitive listen!

such a good book. I love how the author has woven nature and nurture into a story. I loved the detailed description of all the plants, trees, and even some animals and insects. Her varied friendships shows how we gather friends like we choose our favorite garden plants. some quiet and reserved, some more flamboyant, but all with unique quirks and qualities.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Beautiful story and narration

This is a lovely book, and I have to disagree with the reviews that criticize the narration. Emily Rankin is a perfect narrator for this precisely because she does not sound prickly, and so she is a great voice for the inner softness of May that is explored through the book.

I will listen to this multiple times I suspect!

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

A story in which the gardener does some needed growing

Hard to Mark the stars as intended. I meant 4 overall and 3 for the performance since the young and girlish voice of the narrator seemed distressingly at odds with the character of the narrating character.
Gradually the reader realizes how stunted the narrator’s emotional life has been and how much she does need the friend visits she gradually makes. Whew! Growth on many fronts gradually.

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1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

Reader wasn’t compelling

I think I would have enjoyed this book more than I did if I read it rather than listened. I didn’t enjoy the reader at all and that really detracted from the story.

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

A Tree-Hugging Book

This book was cute, but for me it missed an essential element to drive the story. The main character is like able but lonely, but beyond her desire to understand friendship there isn’t much a plot. As she is a botanist, the scientific names for plants got a little old.
I think it was a fine listen for turning on while doing chores, but it definitely didn’t grab my attention in the way I hoped it would.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Really loved this book!

A thoughtful book about the meaning of friendship and the importance of friendship in midlife, and it was fun to learn something about plants too!

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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Delightful!

This is one of the most delightful stories I have read in a very long time. I can’t recommend it enough

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