-
Semi-Centurion
- What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Funnier!
- Narrated by: S. David Acuff
- Length: 3 hrs and 20 mins
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
Prime members: New to Audible?Get 2 free audiobooks during trial.
Semi-Centurion
Buy for $14.95
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
Publisher's summary
David Acuff is a Hollywood insider, a military brat, a comic, a piano recital survivor, a BMW murderer, an offensive linebacker, a dog licker, a divorced TikToker, a father of three Jedi princesses, and possibly a child prodigy.
He is also a semi-centurion. That's a word he made up when he turned 50 this year because "quinquagenarian" sounds like a horse disease or a Menudo song. And before he could move on to the next nifty fifty, he wanted to process how he'd lived, laughed, loved, and litigated along the way.
So he wrote this semi-memoir. A semi-memie, let's call it. This is not a self-help book. More of a self-humor. A self-assessment after some self-reflection. Inspired by true self-fiction.
It's a conundrum wrapped in an enigma, like a kitten burrito. This audiobook was written to make God laugh so hard the Holy Spirit comes out his nose. So, if you learn a lesson or get inspired along the way, that's on you, buddy.
Anyway, this hilarious exploratory trip down memory lane taught him a very provocative lesson. What doesn't kill you makes you funnier. You've been warned.
Listeners also enjoyed...
-
Jack & Jack: You Don't Know Jacks
- By: Jack Johnson
- Narrated by: Jack Johnson, Jack Gilinsky
- Length: 1 hr and 18 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 29
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 26
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 26
Vine ingenues, YouTube megastars, hip-pop sensations, and best friends Jack & Jack bring their own brand of irreverent comedy, on-point style, and heartfelt life advice to You Don't Know Jacks. This is an insider look at the lives of Jack & Jack, as told by the guys themselves.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
jack gilinsky
- By Kate on 11-18-17
By: Jack Johnson
-
Fathers Memorable Jokes
- Dad and His Jokes
- By: Alfie Thomas
- Narrated by: Helpful Matthew
- Length: 3 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 50
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 50
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 50
From changing diapers to putting away toys, some parental jobs can be shared–but there is one that only you can master: the dad jokes! Little people are easy to entertain. They will laugh at the cheesy pizza joke that we have all heard a million times. But as children grow up, dads have to up their humor game. Your child might be able to watch their favorite movie a hundred times, but a dad joke can go from funny to old in less than a week. Traditionally, dad jokes will range from hilarious to an eye-rolling cringe. And told the right way to a group, you can get all the reactions in between.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Super cute!
- By Krystina Rivera on 05-16-24
By: Alfie Thomas
-
Greenlights
- By: Matthew McConaughey
- Narrated by: Matthew McConaughey
- Length: 6 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 177,351
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 156,494
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 155,472
I’ve been in this life for fifty years, been trying to work out its riddle for forty-two, and been keeping diaries of clues to that riddle for the last thirty-five. Notes about successes and failures, joys and sorrows, things that made me marvel, and things that made me laugh out loud. How to be fair. How to have less stress. How to have fun. How to hurt people less. How to get hurt less. How to be a good man. How to have meaning in life. How to be more me. Recently, I worked up the courage to sit down with those diaries.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Love this!
- By Nancy on 10-21-20
-
Stay Sexy & Don’t Get Murdered
- The Definitive How-To Guide
- By: Karen Kilgariff, Georgia Hardstark
- Narrated by: Karen Kilgariff, Georgia Hardstark, Paul Giamatti
- Length: 6 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 17,329
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 15,683
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 15,570
Sharing never-before-heard stories ranging from their struggles with depression, eating disorders, and addiction, Karen and Georgia irreverently recount their biggest mistakes and deepest fears, reflecting on the formative life events that shaped them into two of the most followed voices in the nation. In Stay Sexy & Don’t Get Murdered, Karen and Georgia focus on the importance of self-advocating and valuing personal safety over being "nice" or "helpful." They delve into their own pasts, true crime stories, and beyond to discuss meaningful issues with empathy and frankness.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
I just really enjoyed Karen crying
- By VOGUEMAG on 05-28-19
By: Karen Kilgariff, and others
-
Over the Top
- A Raw Journey to Self-Love
- By: Jonathan Van Ness
- Narrated by: Jonathan Van Ness
- Length: 5 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 10,244
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 9,180
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 9,125
A laugh-and-cry-out-loud memoir from the beloved star of Netflix’s Queer Eye, Jonathan Van Ness, sharing never-before-told, deeply personal stories of growing up gay, transforming pain into positivity, and embracing what makes you gorgeously different.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Everything I knew it would be and more.
- By Cookie2703 on 09-24-19
-
Yearbook
- By: Seth Rogen
- Narrated by: Seth Rogen, full cast
- Length: 6 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 10,088
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 8,747
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 8,687
Hi! I’m Seth! I was asked to describe my audiobook, Yearbook for websites and shit like that, so...here it goes!!! Yearbook is a collection of true stories that I desperately hope are just funny at worst, and life-changingly amazing at best. (I understand that it’s likely the former, which is a fancy “book” way of saying “the first one.”) I talk about my grandparents, doing stand-up comedy as a teenager, bar mitzvahs, and Jewish summer camp, and tell way more stories about doing drugs than my mother would like.
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
Good until it turned political
- By atk0623 on 05-20-21
By: Seth Rogen
-
Jack & Jack: You Don't Know Jacks
- By: Jack Johnson
- Narrated by: Jack Johnson, Jack Gilinsky
- Length: 1 hr and 18 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 29
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 26
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 26
Vine ingenues, YouTube megastars, hip-pop sensations, and best friends Jack & Jack bring their own brand of irreverent comedy, on-point style, and heartfelt life advice to You Don't Know Jacks. This is an insider look at the lives of Jack & Jack, as told by the guys themselves.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
jack gilinsky
- By Kate on 11-18-17
By: Jack Johnson
-
Fathers Memorable Jokes
- Dad and His Jokes
- By: Alfie Thomas
- Narrated by: Helpful Matthew
- Length: 3 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 50
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 50
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 50
From changing diapers to putting away toys, some parental jobs can be shared–but there is one that only you can master: the dad jokes! Little people are easy to entertain. They will laugh at the cheesy pizza joke that we have all heard a million times. But as children grow up, dads have to up their humor game. Your child might be able to watch their favorite movie a hundred times, but a dad joke can go from funny to old in less than a week. Traditionally, dad jokes will range from hilarious to an eye-rolling cringe. And told the right way to a group, you can get all the reactions in between.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Super cute!
- By Krystina Rivera on 05-16-24
By: Alfie Thomas
-
Greenlights
- By: Matthew McConaughey
- Narrated by: Matthew McConaughey
- Length: 6 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 177,351
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 156,494
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 155,472
I’ve been in this life for fifty years, been trying to work out its riddle for forty-two, and been keeping diaries of clues to that riddle for the last thirty-five. Notes about successes and failures, joys and sorrows, things that made me marvel, and things that made me laugh out loud. How to be fair. How to have less stress. How to have fun. How to hurt people less. How to get hurt less. How to be a good man. How to have meaning in life. How to be more me. Recently, I worked up the courage to sit down with those diaries.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Love this!
- By Nancy on 10-21-20
-
Stay Sexy & Don’t Get Murdered
- The Definitive How-To Guide
- By: Karen Kilgariff, Georgia Hardstark
- Narrated by: Karen Kilgariff, Georgia Hardstark, Paul Giamatti
- Length: 6 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 17,329
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 15,683
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 15,570
Sharing never-before-heard stories ranging from their struggles with depression, eating disorders, and addiction, Karen and Georgia irreverently recount their biggest mistakes and deepest fears, reflecting on the formative life events that shaped them into two of the most followed voices in the nation. In Stay Sexy & Don’t Get Murdered, Karen and Georgia focus on the importance of self-advocating and valuing personal safety over being "nice" or "helpful." They delve into their own pasts, true crime stories, and beyond to discuss meaningful issues with empathy and frankness.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
I just really enjoyed Karen crying
- By VOGUEMAG on 05-28-19
By: Karen Kilgariff, and others
-
Over the Top
- A Raw Journey to Self-Love
- By: Jonathan Van Ness
- Narrated by: Jonathan Van Ness
- Length: 5 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 10,244
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 9,180
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 9,125
A laugh-and-cry-out-loud memoir from the beloved star of Netflix’s Queer Eye, Jonathan Van Ness, sharing never-before-told, deeply personal stories of growing up gay, transforming pain into positivity, and embracing what makes you gorgeously different.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Everything I knew it would be and more.
- By Cookie2703 on 09-24-19
-
Yearbook
- By: Seth Rogen
- Narrated by: Seth Rogen, full cast
- Length: 6 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 10,088
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 8,747
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 8,687
Hi! I’m Seth! I was asked to describe my audiobook, Yearbook for websites and shit like that, so...here it goes!!! Yearbook is a collection of true stories that I desperately hope are just funny at worst, and life-changingly amazing at best. (I understand that it’s likely the former, which is a fancy “book” way of saying “the first one.”) I talk about my grandparents, doing stand-up comedy as a teenager, bar mitzvahs, and Jewish summer camp, and tell way more stories about doing drugs than my mother would like.
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
Good until it turned political
- By atk0623 on 05-20-21
By: Seth Rogen
-
A Very Punchable Face
- A Memoir
- By: Colin Jost
- Narrated by: Colin Jost
- Length: 7 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 9,729
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 8,408
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 8,353
If there’s one trait that makes someone well-suited to comedy, it’s being able to take a punch - metaphorically and, occasionally, physically. Told with a healthy dose of self-deprecation, A Very Punchable Face reveals the brilliant mind behind some of the dumbest sketches on television, and lays bare the heart and humor of a hardworking guy - with a face you can’t help but want to punch.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Amazing
- By Erin E. Kace on 07-27-20
By: Colin Jost
-
Mixed Plate
- Chronicles of an All-American Combo
- By: Jo Koy
- Narrated by: Jo Koy
- Length: 8 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 1,842
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,604
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 1,592
A stunning, hilarious memoir displaying Koy’s “wide-ranging comedic talent and abundant wells of perseverance” (Kirkus Reviews, starred). Mixed Plate illuminates the burning drive and unique humor that make Jo Koy one of today’s most successful comedians.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Good listen, but much profanity
- By M. Kienbaum Aldape on 08-04-21
By: Jo Koy
-
Act Like You Got Some Sense
- And Other Things My Daughters Taught Me
- By: Jamie Foxx
- Narrated by: Jamie Foxx, Corinne Foxx
- Length: 5 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 2,239
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,953
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,943
Jamie Foxx has won an Academy Award and a Grammy Award, laughed with sitting presidents, and partied with the biggest names in hip-hop. In Act Like You Got Some Sense, Jamie shares up close and personal stories about the tough love and old-school values he learned growing up in the small town of Terrell, Texas; his early days trying to make it in Hollywood; the joys and challenges of achieving stardom; and how each phase of his life shaped his parenting journey. Hilarious, poignant, and always brutally honest, this is Jamie Foxx like we’ve never seen him before.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
What a Dad
- By Martha Maderal on 10-21-21
By: Jamie Foxx
-
Paddle Your Own Canoe
- One Man's Fundamentals for Delicious Living
- By: Nick Offerman
- Narrated by: Nick Offerman
- Length: 10 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 13,159
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 11,926
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 11,847
Growing a perfect moustache, grilling red meat, wooing a woman - who better to deliver this tutelage than the always charming, always manly Nick Offerman, best known as Parks and Recreation's Ron Swanson? Combining his trademark comic voice and very real expertise in woodworking - he runs his own woodshop - Paddle Your Own Canoe features tales from Offerman's childhood in small-town Minooka, Illinois, to his theater days in Chicago, beginnings as a carpenter/actor and the hilarious and magnificent seduction of his now-wife Megan Mullally.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
On the need to acknowledge the role luck plays
- By OpenMindedNotCredulous on 11-17-13
By: Nick Offerman
-
Great Falls, MT
- Fast Times, Post-Punk Weirdos, and a Tale of Coming Home Again
- By: Reggie Watts
- Narrated by: Reggie Watts
- Length: 8 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 76
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 69
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 69
Reggie Watts is weird. But you knew that. Anyone who’s seen his multifaceted, entirely improvised comedy and music shows knows that. Reggie Watts is also from the town of Great Falls, MT. These two facts are not unrelated. Watts grew up in Montana in the ‘80s, half French, half American, half white, half Black, speaking a bunch of different languages and slipping between the orchestra geeks and the football jocks until he finally found a squad of fellow misfits with an affinity for trouble.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
A wizard tells his tale!
- By michael benton on 10-18-23
By: Reggie Watts
-
The Bassoon King
- My Life in Art, Faith, and Idiocy
- By: Rainn Wilson
- Narrated by: Rainn Wilson
- Length: 8 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 4,110
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 3,730
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 3,719
Rainn Wilson’s memoir about growing up geeky and finally finding his place in comedy, faith, and life. For nine seasons Rainn Wilson played Dwight Schrute, everyone's favorite work nemesis and beet farmer. Viewers of The Office fell in love with the character and grew to love the actor who played him even more. Rainn founded a website and media company, SoulPancake, that eventually became a best-selling book of the same name. He also started a hilarious Twitter feed (sample tweet: “I'm not on Facebook” is the new “I don't even own a TV”).
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
Exquisite narration!
- By Johanna on 11-13-15
By: Rainn Wilson
-
The Jolliest Bunch
- Unhinged Holiday Stories
- By: Danny Pellegrino
- Narrated by: Danny Pellegrino
- Length: 6 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 153
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 148
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 148
For many families, the holiday season is—in a word—unhinged. In no family is that more true than in Danny Pellegrino’s, beloved podcast host of Everything Iconic and bestselling author. Inappropriately improvised monologues at the children's Christmas pageant, presents that land someone in the emergency room, or just sitting on the absolute roller coaster that is a Hallmark movie marathon, the holidays are a strange and magical time in the Pellegrino household. And nobody knows this better than Danny.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
HILARIOUS
- By Erica Betz on 04-06-24
By: Danny Pellegrino
-
In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks...
- . . . And Other Complaints from an Angry Middle-Aged White Guy
- By: Adam Carolla
- Narrated by: Adam Carolla
- Length: 6 hrs and 42 mins
- Abridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,540
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,885
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,876
It's a sad and eerie harbinger of our times that the Oprah-watching, crystal-rubbing, Whole Foods-shopping moms and their whipped attorney husbands have taken the ability to reason away from the poor schlub who makes the Bloody Marys. What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we now settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers. Adam Carolla has had enough of this insanity and he's here to help us get our collective balls back.
-
1 out of 5 stars
-
Save your money: racist, ignorant, loud babble
- By elpeposo on 11-24-10
By: Adam Carolla
-
Objects in the Mirror
- Thoughts on a Perfect Life from an Imperfect Person
- By: Stephen Kellogg
- Narrated by: Stephen Kellogg
- Length: 5 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 21
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 19
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 19
Life - if you've ever thought you might be doing it wrong, you're not alone. Objects in the Mirror: Thoughts on a Perfect Life from an Imperfect Person is a collection of essays that explores what it means to be alive. Like Polaroids framing the years of a troubadour and family man afflicted with an excess of self-awareness, these are stories without any clear good guys or bad guys. Instead, in each of these vignettes you will find dysfunctional humans trying to do their best and bouncing off each other in the process.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
My favourite storyteller
- By Jim Dwyer on 08-23-23
By: Stephen Kellogg
-
Home Sweet Road
- Finding Love, Making Music & Building a Life One City at a Time
- By: Johnnyswim
- Narrated by: Abner Ramirez, Amanda Sudano
- Length: 5 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 38
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 37
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 36
Work and life partners Amanda Sudano Ramirez and Abner Ramirez are known for translating the memories and milestones of their journey, as well as the honest realities of marriage, into their spirited and soulful songs. With this audiobook, the duo shares never-before-told stories, recipes, poetry, and more from their life in a deeply engaging experience as they travel on tour around the country with their three young kids, capturing the family’s raw, intimate, and behind-the-scenes life on the road and embracing home no matter where they are.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Delightful, Delicious & Divine.
- By Chef Nekia on 06-25-21
By: Johnnyswim
-
Who Do I Think I Am?
- Stories of Chola Wishes and Caviar Dreams
- By: Anjelah Johnson-Reyes
- Narrated by: Anjelah Johnson-Reyes
- Length: 8 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 1,337
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,219
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 1,216
You may know Anjelah Johnson for her viral sketch "Nail Salon" (over 100 million views globally) or her beloved ghetto-fabulous MadTV character Bon Qui Qui, but it's her clean humor and hilarious storytelling that make her one of the most successful stand-up comedians and actresses today. With her razor-sharp wit, Anjelah recounts funny stories from her journey.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Funny, Deep and Does not Disappoint
- By Book Cook on 04-09-22
-
Save Yourself
- Memoir
- By: Cameron Esposito
- Narrated by: Cameron Esposito
- Length: 6 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 752
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 652
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 647
Save Yourself is full of funny and insightful recollections about everything from coming out (at a Catholic college where sexual orientation wasn't in the nondiscrimination policy) to how joining the circus can help you become a better comic (so much nudity) to accepting yourself for who you are-even if you're, say, a bowl cut-sporting, bespectacled, gender-nonconforming child with an eye patch (which Cameron was).
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
You need this book.
- By Robin on 07-07-20
By: Cameron Esposito
Related to this topic
-
A Very Punchable Face
- A Memoir
- By: Colin Jost
- Narrated by: Colin Jost
- Length: 7 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 9,729
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 8,408
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 8,353
If there’s one trait that makes someone well-suited to comedy, it’s being able to take a punch - metaphorically and, occasionally, physically. Told with a healthy dose of self-deprecation, A Very Punchable Face reveals the brilliant mind behind some of the dumbest sketches on television, and lays bare the heart and humor of a hardworking guy - with a face you can’t help but want to punch.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Amazing
- By Erin E. Kace on 07-27-20
By: Colin Jost
-
Paddle Your Own Canoe
- One Man's Fundamentals for Delicious Living
- By: Nick Offerman
- Narrated by: Nick Offerman
- Length: 10 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 13,159
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 11,926
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 11,847
Growing a perfect moustache, grilling red meat, wooing a woman - who better to deliver this tutelage than the always charming, always manly Nick Offerman, best known as Parks and Recreation's Ron Swanson? Combining his trademark comic voice and very real expertise in woodworking - he runs his own woodshop - Paddle Your Own Canoe features tales from Offerman's childhood in small-town Minooka, Illinois, to his theater days in Chicago, beginnings as a carpenter/actor and the hilarious and magnificent seduction of his now-wife Megan Mullally.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
On the need to acknowledge the role luck plays
- By OpenMindedNotCredulous on 11-17-13
By: Nick Offerman
-
Dying of Politeness
- A Memoir
- By: Geena Davis
- Narrated by: Geena Davis
- Length: 7 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 764
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 686
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 685
From two-time Academy Award winner and screen icon Geena Davis, the surprising tale of her “journey to badassery”—from her epically polite childhood to roles that loaned her the strength to become a powerhouse in Hollywood.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
so perfect
- By Kimber on 10-16-22
By: Geena Davis
-
This Might Get a Little Heavy
- A Memoir
- By: Ralphie May, Nils Parker
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 8 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 284
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 248
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 249
There was a time when Ralphie May was one of the biggest stand-up comedians in the country, both by ticket sales and by tonnage. While some things changed - Ralphie lost half his body weight - others did not: He will be remembered as one of the most successful comics of his time. Completed just months before his untimely passing, in This Might Get a Little Heavy, Ralphie takes listeners on a behind-the-scenes tour of his life and career, one that winds across the country, over obstacles, beyond heartbreak, and through the golden age of stand-up.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
brilliant and tragic
- By Timothy Trujillo on 08-12-18
By: Ralphie May, and others
-
Will
- By: Will Smith, Mark Manson
- Narrated by: Will Smith
- Length: 16 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 58,145
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 52,619
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 52,357
One of the most dynamic and globally recognized entertainment forces of our time opens up fully about his life, in a brave and inspiring book that traces his learning curve to a place where outer success, inner happiness, and human connection are aligned. Along the way, Will tells the story in full of one of the most amazing rides through the worlds of music and film that anyone has ever had.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
Will sure loves Will
- By Kejeco on 11-18-21
By: Will Smith, and others
-
Dirty Daddy
- The Chronicles of a Family Man Turned Filthy Comedian
- By: Bob Saget
- Narrated by: Bob Saget
- Length: 6 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 536
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 479
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 478
Millions of viewers know and love Bob Saget from his role as the sweetly neurotic father on the smash hit Full House, and as the charming wisecracking host of America's Funniest Home Videos. And then there are the legions of fans who can't get enough of his scatological, out-of-his-mind stand-up routines, comedy specials, and outrageously profane performances in such shows as HBO's Entourage and the hit documentary The Aristocrats.
-
2 out of 5 stars
-
Meh to the 2nd Power
- By Hilary on 06-30-14
By: Bob Saget
-
A Very Punchable Face
- A Memoir
- By: Colin Jost
- Narrated by: Colin Jost
- Length: 7 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 9,729
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 8,408
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 8,353
If there’s one trait that makes someone well-suited to comedy, it’s being able to take a punch - metaphorically and, occasionally, physically. Told with a healthy dose of self-deprecation, A Very Punchable Face reveals the brilliant mind behind some of the dumbest sketches on television, and lays bare the heart and humor of a hardworking guy - with a face you can’t help but want to punch.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Amazing
- By Erin E. Kace on 07-27-20
By: Colin Jost
-
Paddle Your Own Canoe
- One Man's Fundamentals for Delicious Living
- By: Nick Offerman
- Narrated by: Nick Offerman
- Length: 10 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 13,159
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 11,926
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 11,847
Growing a perfect moustache, grilling red meat, wooing a woman - who better to deliver this tutelage than the always charming, always manly Nick Offerman, best known as Parks and Recreation's Ron Swanson? Combining his trademark comic voice and very real expertise in woodworking - he runs his own woodshop - Paddle Your Own Canoe features tales from Offerman's childhood in small-town Minooka, Illinois, to his theater days in Chicago, beginnings as a carpenter/actor and the hilarious and magnificent seduction of his now-wife Megan Mullally.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
On the need to acknowledge the role luck plays
- By OpenMindedNotCredulous on 11-17-13
By: Nick Offerman
-
Dying of Politeness
- A Memoir
- By: Geena Davis
- Narrated by: Geena Davis
- Length: 7 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 764
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 686
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 685
From two-time Academy Award winner and screen icon Geena Davis, the surprising tale of her “journey to badassery”—from her epically polite childhood to roles that loaned her the strength to become a powerhouse in Hollywood.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
so perfect
- By Kimber on 10-16-22
By: Geena Davis
-
This Might Get a Little Heavy
- A Memoir
- By: Ralphie May, Nils Parker
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 8 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 284
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 248
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 249
There was a time when Ralphie May was one of the biggest stand-up comedians in the country, both by ticket sales and by tonnage. While some things changed - Ralphie lost half his body weight - others did not: He will be remembered as one of the most successful comics of his time. Completed just months before his untimely passing, in This Might Get a Little Heavy, Ralphie takes listeners on a behind-the-scenes tour of his life and career, one that winds across the country, over obstacles, beyond heartbreak, and through the golden age of stand-up.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
brilliant and tragic
- By Timothy Trujillo on 08-12-18
By: Ralphie May, and others
-
Will
- By: Will Smith, Mark Manson
- Narrated by: Will Smith
- Length: 16 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 58,145
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 52,619
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 52,357
One of the most dynamic and globally recognized entertainment forces of our time opens up fully about his life, in a brave and inspiring book that traces his learning curve to a place where outer success, inner happiness, and human connection are aligned. Along the way, Will tells the story in full of one of the most amazing rides through the worlds of music and film that anyone has ever had.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
Will sure loves Will
- By Kejeco on 11-18-21
By: Will Smith, and others
-
Dirty Daddy
- The Chronicles of a Family Man Turned Filthy Comedian
- By: Bob Saget
- Narrated by: Bob Saget
- Length: 6 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 536
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 479
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 478
Millions of viewers know and love Bob Saget from his role as the sweetly neurotic father on the smash hit Full House, and as the charming wisecracking host of America's Funniest Home Videos. And then there are the legions of fans who can't get enough of his scatological, out-of-his-mind stand-up routines, comedy specials, and outrageously profane performances in such shows as HBO's Entourage and the hit documentary The Aristocrats.
-
2 out of 5 stars
-
Meh to the 2nd Power
- By Hilary on 06-30-14
By: Bob Saget
-
Comedy Sex God
- By: Pete Holmes
- Narrated by: Pete Holmes
- Length: 6 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,981
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,753
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,744
Part autobiography, part philosophical inquiry, part sacred quest - The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck for the spiritual seeker - a hilarious, profound, and enlightening romp around the fertile mind of standout stand-up comedian, host of the hugely successful podcast You Made It Weird, and star of HBO’s Crashing Pete Holmes.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
Mixed bag
- By Brandon on 06-20-19
By: Pete Holmes
-
How to Be a Man
- (and Other Illusions)
- By: Duff McKagan
- Narrated by: Peter Berkrot
- Length: 7 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 236
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 217
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 218
Duff McKagan is one of the most respected survivors in hard rock. In How to Be a Man, he shares the wisdom he gained on the path to superstardom - from his time with Guns N' Roses and Velvet Revolver to getting sober after a life of hard living to achieving his personal American dream of marrying a supermodel, raising a family, and experiencing what it's like to be winked at by Prince.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
Overly dramatic reader.
- By CB on 01-07-17
By: Duff McKagan
-
The Very Worst Missionary
- A Memoir or Whatever
- By: Jamie Wright
- Narrated by: Madeleine Lambert
- Length: 4 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 316
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 278
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 281
After finding Jesus at a suburban megachurch, young Jamie Wright trades in the easy life on the cul-de-sac for the green fields of Costa Rica. There, along with her husband, kids, and the family cat, she intends to serve God and make converts. But she soon loses faith and falls into a funk of cynicism and despair. Fortunately, Knives the cat is there, looking on with just enough disinterest to make her laugh...and dare her to try another way. That other way turns out to be telling the truth. She launches a renegade blog, Jamie the Very Worst Missionary, which wins a large following.
-
1 out of 5 stars
-
Didn’t like the book
- By Jonathan on 04-17-20
By: Jamie Wright
-
Wildflower
- By: Drew Barrymore
- Narrated by: Drew Barrymore
- Length: 7 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 5,696
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 5,097
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 5,067
Wildflower is a portrait of Drew's life in stories as she looks back on the adventures, challenges, and incredible experiences of her earlier years. It includes tales of living on her own at 14 (and how laundry may have saved her life), getting stuck in a gas station overhang on a cross-country road trip, saying good-bye to her father in a way only he could have understood, and many more adventures and lessons that have led her to the successful, happy, and healthy place she is today.
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
Hold the shrieking !
- By Dawne on 11-27-15
By: Drew Barrymore
-
There's Nothing in This Book That I Meant to Say
- By: Paula Poundstone
- Narrated by: Paula Poundstone
- Length: 5 hrs and 59 mins
- Abridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 577
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 362
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 357
What do the lives of Lincoln, Helen Keller, Joan of Arc, and other historical figures have in common with Paula Poundstone? In the hands of this wryly observant and self-deprecating comedian, the answer is outrageously funny and unexpectedly touching. Poundstone compares her crazy life to theirs, as she holds forth on her children, her career, and the time in her life when it appeared she would lose them both.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
More!
- By Evelyn on 02-11-07
By: Paula Poundstone
-
It Takes Two
- Our Story
- By: Jonathan Scott, Drew Scott
- Narrated by: Drew Scott, Jonathan Scott
- Length: 6 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 905
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 818
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 818
It Takes Two: Our Story shares never-before-revealed tales of the Scott brothers' childhood and rise to fame - from starting their first business at seven years old and their years modeling and acting to their first house purchase at the impressive young age of 18. They soon found their true passion in life, combining their natural gifts for entertaining with the skills they learned from buying, renovating, and selling homes.
-
2 out of 5 stars
-
Not Worth the Time or $2.95
- By Sharlotte on 03-06-18
By: Jonathan Scott, and others
-
Gummi Bears Should Not Be Organic
- And Other Opinions I Can't Back Up with Facts
- By: Stefanie Wilder-Taylor
- Narrated by: Stefanie Wilder-Taylor
- Length: 4 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 75
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 67
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 67
In this latest mommy audiobook from the popular blogger, author, and TV personality, Stefanie will share her secrets for achieving a balance in motherhood between being protective and caring and downright bats--t crazy. She'll debunk some of the looniest parenting myths and reinforce others; she'll describe how, through as simple a process as good old trial and error, she's learned to pick and choose what works for her and her family, and tune out the rest.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
You’re A Parent Now...Don't Mess It Up
- By Tim on 04-16-15
-
Liner Notes
- On Parents & Children, Exes & Excess, Death & Decay, & a Few of My Other Favorite Things
- By: Loudon Wainwright III
- Narrated by: Loudon Wainwright III
- Length: 10 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 63
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 60
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 60
A memoir by the influential Grammy Award-winning singer and actor - son of journalist Loudon Wainwright, former husband of Kate McGarrigle and Suzzy Roche, and father of Rufus Wainwright, Martha Wainwright, Lucy Wainwright Roche, and Lexie Kelly Wainwright - a captivating meditation on relationships and creativity from the patriarch of one of America's great musical families. With a career spanning more than four decades, Loudon Wainwright III has established himself as one of the most enduring singer-songwriters who emerged from the late '60s.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Best ever book for listening
- By Jeff Bernhardt on 10-29-17
-
A Little Bit Wicked
- Life, Love, and Faith in Stages
- By: Kristin Chenoweth
- Narrated by: Kristin Chenoweth
- Length: 6 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 483
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 311
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 312
In this frank and funny memoir, the Tony Award-winning star of stage and screen shares her journey from small-town Oklahoma to big-time Broadway, vamping on what it takes to stand firmly on a foundation of family and faith while wearing a hot pair of Jimmy Choo platform sling-backs.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Salt of the Earth + Sparkles
- By Holly on 10-01-09
-
Shattered
- Struck Down, But Not Destroyed
- By: Frank Pastore, Ellen Vaughn
- Narrated by: Frank Pastore
- Length: 6 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 77
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 63
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 63
Shattered is part sports audio book, because you’ll go on road trips, enter clubhouses, and walk on the fields of professional baseball. It’s part romantic novel, because you’ll journey with two young kids who fall in love and eventually elope, evading not only her family, but the law as well - for she was only 16. It’s also a story of brokenness, betrayal, and burn-out. If you were raised in a dysfunctional family, if you’ve ever had your dreams fall apart, been betrayed by close friends, or hit the psychological “wall” in your professional career, this is your audio book too.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Loved it
- By Jim Battle on 01-29-23
By: Frank Pastore, and others
-
Lose Well
- By: Chris Gethard
- Narrated by: Chris Gethard
- Length: 9 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 388
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 339
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 341
Let’s face it: we all want a seat at the cool table, a great job, and loads of money. But most of us won’t be able to achieve this widely accepted, black-or-white, definition of winning, which makes us feel like failures, that we’re destined to a life of loserdom. That’s the conventional wisdom. It’s also crap, according to comedian and cult hero Chris Gethard, who knows a thing of two about losing. Failing is an art form, he argues; in fact, it’s the only the way we’re ever going to discover who we are, what we really want, and how to live the kind of life we only dreamed about.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
WHAT A LOSER
- By Amazon Customer on 01-26-19
By: Chris Gethard
-
Kian and Jc: Don't Try This at Home!
- By: Kian Lawley, Jc Caylen
- Narrated by: Kian Lawley, Jc Caylen
- Length: 1 hr and 12 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 357
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 318
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 317
From personalities and entertainers Kian Lawley and Jc Caylen comes a completely wild and entirely true account of their rise to Internet fame: Kian and Jc: Don't Try This at Home! More than seven million YouTube subscribers, five million Twitter followers, and five million Instagram followers cannot wait for this sometimes hilarious, sometimes awkward, and always crazy collection of stories and interviews narrated by Kian and Jc themselves.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
OMG
- By Lesley on 06-28-16
By: Kian Lawley, and others