Sh-t My Dad Says

By: Justin Halpern

Narrated by: Sean Schemmel

After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, 28-year-old Justin Halpern found himself living at home with his 73-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who is “like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair,” has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him:

“That woman was sexy...Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won’t screw you. Don’t do it for them.”

“Do people your age know how to comb their hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their heads and started fucking.”

“The worst thing you can be is a liar...Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but then number two is liar. Nazi one, liar two.”

More than a million people now follow Mr. Halpern’s philosophical musings on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his quotes.

An all-American story that unfolds on the Little League field, in Denny’s, during excruciating family road trips, and, most frequently, in the Halperns’ kitchen over bowls of Grape-Nuts, Sh-t My Dad Says is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father-son relationship from a major new comic voice.

©2010 Justin Halpern (P)2010 HarperCollins Publishers

Critic reviews

“If you’re wondering if there is a real man behind the quotes on Twitter, the answer is a definite and laugh-out-loud yes.” (Christian Lander, New York Times best-selling author of Stuff White People Like)

Really Funny! Should Be Up for an Audie Award

This book had me laughing so hard that I woke my wife up and got curious stares on the bus. While the run time of this audio book is only 3 hours it is the perfect length to get an idea of how Justin's father thinks and you also get a sense that there is absolutely no filter when he thinks something to when he speaks what's on his mind. This very funny book that does use course language because Justin's father is a little gruff! IF you are offended by such language, then stay away.

Surprisingly hilarious!

I must admit that I have been burned by "blogger books" before, so I was very skeptical about this one, a book based on a Twitter sensation. While the Sh*t Mt Dad Says is the only thing I actually like about Twitter, I couldn't help but think that this book would get stale really quick. Halpern, it turns out, is a pretty great writer. He has a great knack for comic timing and dialog (which, obviously, he got from his father) and understands and conveys the complexities of the father-son dynamic with some terrific anecdotes. In fact, I enjoyed Halpern's stories far more than the short quotes dispersed throughout the book. As far as the narrator goes, he reminded me of Ben Stiller, which seemed sort of appropriate, although the gruff "dad voice" takes some getting used to.

So funny i listened 3 times

Any additional comments?

This amazing book lends credit to the line

Laugh out loud

Had my husband and I in stiches at times. could totally relate having two sons.

Real American Humor from a Real American Family

I actually feel like I now know both Justin and his Dad, and I like them! In spite of the constant F-Bombs, I would still consider this a nice warm Family Read. Probably because they were dropped by Dad and not the Son.

I gave this book 4 Stars because the Author managed to record one anecdote after another while telling an intimate and funny autobiographical story that moved at just the right pace.

The Narration was well done and if the Character's voices sounded a bit amateurish, it only lent to the notion that I had been most fortunate to stumble across this lovely Portrait of true Americana and not a work of fiction.

Funny and Full of good lessons

Narrator was awesome. It exceeded my expectations. Great stories and insights about being a decent human being. Oh, it is also hilarious.

Funny

Where does Sh-t My Dad Says rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

At the top of the list

What was one of the most memorable moments of Sh-t My Dad Says?

Too many to mention

What about Sean Schemmel’s performance did you like?

How he explained his feelings with each event.

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

When the authors Dad was happy he was sharing his life with everyone, that he really loves him.

Any additional comments?

I bought a copy for each of our children. I am sure everyone will be able to relate to one or more of the events in this book.

Great Narration! Funny Story!

This was a lighthearted, laugh out loud, enjoyable audiobook! The narrator was fantastic! There may have been a few too many references to the author's masturbation, but overall, well written. Not having read a print copy, I wonder if it would be as enjoyable, as the narrator's voice he gave the dad added so much to his character. I think the audiobook is the way to go.

very very funny

What made the experience of listening to Sh-t My Dad Says the most enjoyable?

the way it was narrated was spot on.

What was one of the most memorable moments of Sh-t My Dad Says?

the quotes about growing up in school was the funnest.

Have you listened to any of Sean Schemmel’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

this is the first time listening to Sean but i am going to look for more books that he has narrated.

Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

no

what a great time

It was touching and hilarious. The pace kept up, no lulls. The humor and experiences were easily identifiable and entertaining. I am glad and envious of his life with that man!