Stay Fit and Healthy Until You're Dead
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Stay Fit and Healthy Until You're Dead
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Narrated by:
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Arte Johnson
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By:
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Dave Barry
About this listen
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,276
A bad best man’s speech can ruin a wedding. Why do we plan every detail of a perfect day and then give the groom’s idiot best friend five minutes of total power? Enter Nate (Glen Powell), a speechwriter-for-hire who helps people write incredible best man speeches. To keep the best man from embarrassing himself (and the newlyweds), Nate uses his list of don’ts: Don’t mention the exes, don’t be rated R, and don’t bum everyone out. Nate’s system never fails. That is, until he meets Dan (Nicholas Braun).
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5 out of 5 stars
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SO GOOD
- By Csutty on 09-23-24
By: Matthew Starr
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Slaughterhouse-Five
- By: Kurt Vonnegut
- Narrated by: James Franco
- Length: 5 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 19,018
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 16,999
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 16,974
Traumatized by the bombing of Dresden at the time he had been imprisoned, Pilgrim drifts through all events and history, sometimes deeply implicated, sometimes a witness. He is surrounded by Vonnegut's usual large cast of continuing characters (notably here the hack science fiction writer Kilgore Trout and the alien Tralfamadorians, who oversee his life and remind him constantly that there is no causation, no order, no motive to existence).
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4 out of 5 stars
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Don't Quit Your Daytime Job, James
- By Keith on 11-20-15
By: Kurt Vonnegut
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The Great Indoors
- By: Ginny Hogan
- Narrated by: Mae Whitman
- Length: 3 hrs and 53 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 413
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 406
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 406
Alice's journey begins as all good journeys do: hitting on the sales guy at REI. After a tumultuous breakup, a quick career transition, family upheaval, and a sobriety journey that didn't fix her life quite as much as she expected it to, Alice decides that the only way to solve all her problems is to hike the Pacific Crest Trail. But as she begins preparing for the months-long quest, she realizes the answers she's seeking might not be on top of a snow-covered mountain. Especially since she just learned there was snow in California.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Chuck full of laughs to lift anyone's spirits.
- By Laura Boogaert on 09-22-24
By: Ginny Hogan
-
I Can't Make This Up
- Life Lessons
- By: Neil Strauss - contributor, Kevin Hart
- Narrated by: Kevin Hart
- Length: 11 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 56,030
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 50,472
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 50,216
Superstar comedian and Hollywood box-office star Kevin Hart turns his immense talent to the written word by writing some words. Some of those words include: the, a, for, above, and even even. Put them together and you have the funniest, most heartfelt, and most inspirational memoir on survival, success, and the importance of believing in yourself since Old Yeller.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Best Audiobook I Ever Listened To
- By Sam Clear on 07-13-17
By: Neil Strauss - contributor, and others
-
Very Unbecoming
- By: Emily Kron, Kate Hopkins
- Narrated by: Zoë Chao, Esther Povitsky, Amy Sedaris
- Length: 4 hrs and 31 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 208
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 205
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 205
When two childhood best friends blow up their respective romantic relationships, they make a time-sensitive pact: serial-cheater Chuck cannot sleep with anyone as she attends a three-month-long recovery group for cheaters, while sex-deprived Sofia vows to hook up with as many people as possible before recommitting to monogamy and tying the knot with her long-time fiancé. To keep things interesting, Chuck and Sofia decide to revive a past tradition from their summer camp days—also known as the dawning of sluthood.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Hilarious
- By Rachel on 11-21-24
By: Emily Kron, and others
-
The True Story of The Coward Brothers
- By: Elvis Costello
- Narrated by: T Bone Burnett, Elvis Costello, Rhea Seehorn, and others
- Length: 1 hr and 43 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 71
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 68
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 68
The True Story of The Coward Brothers follows two musical brothers – one English, one American, both the illegitimate sons of dubious parentage who may, as they claim to be, "one and half-brothers" – perhaps a reference to the disparity in their height and relative talents.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Cute
- By NRo on 11-26-24
By: Elvis Costello
-
American Psycho
- By: Bret Easton Ellis
- Narrated by: Pablo Schreiber
- Length: 16 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 5,279
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 4,680
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 4,688
Patrick Bateman moves among the young and trendy in 1980s Manhattan. Young, handsome, and well educated, Bateman earns his fortune on Wall Street by day while spending his nights in ways we cannot begin to fathom. Expressing his true self through torture and murder, Bateman prefigures an apocalyptic horror that no society could bear to confront.
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4 out of 5 stars
-
Fanntastic book but maybe not for everyone....
- By So Fain on 03-27-11
-
Caledonian Road
- A Novel
- By: Andrew O'Hagan
- Narrated by: Michael Abubakar
- Length: 22 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 47
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 43
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 43
Campbell Flynn, art historian, professor, and fêted fixture of the literati, always knew that when his life came crashing down, it would happen in public—yet he never imagined that a single year in London would expose so much. He’s never taken other people half as seriously as they take themselves, which is the first of his mistakes. The second is a new project: opportunistic and precisely calibrated to rake in a fortune.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
The best audiobook I have ever listened to
- By Samuel Barker on 07-31-24
By: Andrew O'Hagan
-
Made in America
- By: Bill Bryson
- Narrated by: William Roberts
- Length: 18 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,541
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,274
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,273
In Made in America, Bryson de-mythologizes his native land, explaining how a dusty hamlet with neither woods nor holly became Hollywood, how the Wild West wasn't won, why Americans say 'lootenant' and 'Toosday', how Americans were eating junk food long before the word itself was cooked up, as well as exposing the true origins of the G-string, the original $64,000 question, and Dr Kellogg of cornflakes fame.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Bryson Not Reading Makes For a Rare Fail
- By John on 02-28-14
By: Bill Bryson
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Dave Barry's Book of Bad Songs
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- Length: 1 hr and 30 mins
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 98
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 60
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Story4 out of 5 stars 60
Listen to the results of Dave Barry's Bad Song Survey, a compilation of some of the worst songs ever written. From "MacArthur Park" to "Feelings," from "Dreams of the Everyday Housewife" to "Leader of the Pack," this is the audio the record industry didn't want you to hear! Download more Dave Barry.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Narration weak
- By Fiona on 10-11-04
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Best. State. Ever.
- A Florida Man Defends His Homeland
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 278
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We never know what will happen next in Florida. We know only that, any minute now, something will. Every few months, Dave Barry gets a call from some media person wanting to know, "What the hell is wrong with Florida?" Somehow, the state's acquired an image as a subtropical festival of stupid, and as a loyal Floridian, Dave begs to differ. Sure, there was the 2000 election. And people seem to take their pants off for no good reason. And it has flying insects the size of LeBron James. But it is a great state, and Dave is going to tell you why.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Most. Annoying. Narration. Ever.
- By Triple A on 06-21-17
By: Dave Barry
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Live Right and Find Happiness (Although Beer is Much Faster)
- Life Lessons from Dave Barry
- By: Dave Barry
- Narrated by: Dave Barry
- Length: 3 hrs and 39 mins
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 256
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 212
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An uproariously funny examination of what one generation can teach to another - or not - from the Pulitzer Prize winner and New York Times - best-selling author of You Can Date Boys When You're Forty and Insane City. During the course of living (mumble, mumble) years, Dave Barry has gained much wisdom* (*actual wisdom not guaranteed), and he is eager to pass it on - to the next generation, the generation after that, and those idiots who make driving to the grocery store in Florida a death-defying experience.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Clever!
- By Sharlotte on 01-31-17
By: Dave Barry
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Powder Burn
- By: Carl Hiaasen, Bill Montalbano
- Narrated by: Robert Ramirez
- Length: 11 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 242
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 214
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 214
New York Times best-selling author Carl Hiaasen teamed up with journalist Bill Montalbano for this gripping thriller. Powder Burn stars Chris Meadows, a successful Miami architect who's leaving a meeting with an ex-girlfriend when he sees a car strike his ex, killing her. But the nightmare is only just beginning. As a witness to the crime, Chris knows the car's passengers - thugs linked to Miami's deadliest drug lords - are sure to come after him next. But what can he do if the police refuse to give him protection?
-
1 out of 5 stars
-
I Love Carl Hiaasen, but man this was the hard
- By Samantha on 09-30-13
By: Carl Hiaasen, and others
-
Swamp Story
- A Novel
- By: Dave Barry
- Narrated by: Dave Barry
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 200
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 172
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 172
Jesse Braddock is trapped in a tiny cabin deep in the Everglades with her infant daughter and her ex-boyfriend, a wannabe reality TV star who turned out to be a lot prettier on the outside than on the inside. Broke and desperate for a way out, Jesse stumbles across a long-lost treasure, which could solve all her problems—if she can figure out how to keep it. The problem is some very bad men are also looking for the treasure, and they know Jesse has it.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Don’t waste your credit
- By Cat Mom on 05-13-23
By: Dave Barry
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Skin Tight
- By: Carl Hiaasen
- Narrated by: George Wilson
- Length: 14 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 2,341
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,520
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,525
This novel by Carl Hiaasen, author of Tourist Season and Native Tongue, begins as most thrillers do, with a killing. But this is no everyday, hum-drum, garden variety killing. Our hero, Nick Stranahan, a 42-year-old private investigator who has killed five men and been married five times, skewers his attacker's aorta with the razor-sharp bill of a stuffed marlin.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Skintight
- By Chris on 08-02-04
By: Carl Hiaasen
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Dave Barry's Book of Bad Songs
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- Length: 1 hr and 30 mins
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 98
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 60
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Story4 out of 5 stars 60
Listen to the results of Dave Barry's Bad Song Survey, a compilation of some of the worst songs ever written. From "MacArthur Park" to "Feelings," from "Dreams of the Everyday Housewife" to "Leader of the Pack," this is the audio the record industry didn't want you to hear! Download more Dave Barry.
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1 out of 5 stars
-
Narration weak
- By Fiona on 10-11-04
By: Dave Barry
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Best. State. Ever.
- A Florida Man Defends His Homeland
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 278
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 252
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We never know what will happen next in Florida. We know only that, any minute now, something will. Every few months, Dave Barry gets a call from some media person wanting to know, "What the hell is wrong with Florida?" Somehow, the state's acquired an image as a subtropical festival of stupid, and as a loyal Floridian, Dave begs to differ. Sure, there was the 2000 election. And people seem to take their pants off for no good reason. And it has flying insects the size of LeBron James. But it is a great state, and Dave is going to tell you why.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Most. Annoying. Narration. Ever.
- By Triple A on 06-21-17
By: Dave Barry
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- Life Lessons from Dave Barry
- By: Dave Barry
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 256
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 212
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 214
An uproariously funny examination of what one generation can teach to another - or not - from the Pulitzer Prize winner and New York Times - best-selling author of You Can Date Boys When You're Forty and Insane City. During the course of living (mumble, mumble) years, Dave Barry has gained much wisdom* (*actual wisdom not guaranteed), and he is eager to pass it on - to the next generation, the generation after that, and those idiots who make driving to the grocery store in Florida a death-defying experience.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Clever!
- By Sharlotte on 01-31-17
By: Dave Barry
-
Powder Burn
- By: Carl Hiaasen, Bill Montalbano
- Narrated by: Robert Ramirez
- Length: 11 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 242
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 214
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 214
New York Times best-selling author Carl Hiaasen teamed up with journalist Bill Montalbano for this gripping thriller. Powder Burn stars Chris Meadows, a successful Miami architect who's leaving a meeting with an ex-girlfriend when he sees a car strike his ex, killing her. But the nightmare is only just beginning. As a witness to the crime, Chris knows the car's passengers - thugs linked to Miami's deadliest drug lords - are sure to come after him next. But what can he do if the police refuse to give him protection?
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1 out of 5 stars
-
I Love Carl Hiaasen, but man this was the hard
- By Samantha on 09-30-13
By: Carl Hiaasen, and others
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Swamp Story
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- By: Dave Barry
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 200
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 172
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 172
Jesse Braddock is trapped in a tiny cabin deep in the Everglades with her infant daughter and her ex-boyfriend, a wannabe reality TV star who turned out to be a lot prettier on the outside than on the inside. Broke and desperate for a way out, Jesse stumbles across a long-lost treasure, which could solve all her problems—if she can figure out how to keep it. The problem is some very bad men are also looking for the treasure, and they know Jesse has it.
-
1 out of 5 stars
-
Don’t waste your credit
- By Cat Mom on 05-13-23
By: Dave Barry
-
Skin Tight
- By: Carl Hiaasen
- Narrated by: George Wilson
- Length: 14 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 2,341
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,520
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,525
This novel by Carl Hiaasen, author of Tourist Season and Native Tongue, begins as most thrillers do, with a killing. But this is no everyday, hum-drum, garden variety killing. Our hero, Nick Stranahan, a 42-year-old private investigator who has killed five men and been married five times, skewers his attacker's aorta with the razor-sharp bill of a stuffed marlin.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Skintight
- By Chris on 08-02-04
By: Carl Hiaasen
What listeners say about Stay Fit and Healthy Until You're Dead
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
-
Performance3 out of 5 stars
-
Story3 out of 5 stars
- Jeffrey
- 07-23-21
funny but out of date
this is humorous and you will get some laughs. but truly, it is dated a bit
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
- Britt
- 01-31-08
Hilarious
This is awesome. I love Dave Barry! I listen to this at work and it makes the day fly by.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
-
Story3 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 11-22-22
Not the best
I love Dave Barry and no one makes me laugh more. But this is one of his less funny.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars
-
Story4 out of 5 stars
- Dr Rick
- 01-26-21
Nostalgic vs dated humor, but usually funny
I’m a big Dave Barry fan and read his weekly column for years. This book is over 30 years old and typical of his formulaic but imaginative wit. Arte reads it well but doesn’t always hit the punch lines in rhythm. I recommend playing it a bit at a time so you don’t get saturated with his style; that’s how I used to savor his columns anyway.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
- Ellen
- 11-24-03
Excellent
I read the book several years ago and thought it was funny. But listening to Arte Johnson read it is even funnier! I almost hurt myself I was laughing so hard.
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6 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Anna
- 10-03-22
Laugh out loud funny
I selected this read when I was feeling blue. I haven’t laughed out loud in weeks, and this book had me belly laughing. Dave Barry is a genius!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Aurelio Garcia-Castiello
- 01-12-17
A Dave Barry Classic.
Anyone thats ever struggled with weight or body issues and those with annoying gym rat friends and anorexic family members will appreciate this book. His parodies of BS lifestyle advertising and fitness trends are brutally executed yet remain completely G-Rated. Art Johnson always makes Dave Barry's Audio books funnier.
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3 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- michelle
- 09-20-21
I lost weight listening
As person on a weight loss journey Thank you for this I Laughed so hard I'm sure I lost weight 😭🤣
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story3 out of 5 stars
- Gabriella turner
- 04-12-24
It has the voice of like the instruction videos from the 60s.
It feels like it's from the 60s.It's funny but it is a little dated and I looked at the time that it was published and 1999 And I was like that's why it feels old. It's 2024
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Overall1 out of 5 stars
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Performance1 out of 5 stars
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Story1 out of 5 stars
- steve finkelstein
- 04-11-21
Beating a dead horse
The running time for this so-called book was 2 hours, 4 minutes and 22 seconds. If this book had been shortened to 4 minutes and 22 seconds, that would have still been too long to listen to such tripe.
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