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The Not Good Enough Mother
- Narrated by: Rosemary Benson
- Length: 8 hrs and 30 mins
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Publisher's summary
A psychologist who evaluates the fitness of parents when their children have been removed from their custody finds herself reassessing her own mothering when her son falls victim to the opioid crisis.
Psychologist and expert witness Dr. Sharon Lamb evaluates parents, particularly in high-stakes cases concerning the termination of parental rights. The conclusions she reaches can mean that some children are returned home from foster homes. Others are freed for adoption. Well-trained, Lamb generally can decide what's in the best interests of the child. But when her son's struggle with opioid addiction comes to light, she starts to doubt her right to make judgments about other mothers.
As an expert, a professor, and a mother, Lamb gives voice to the near impossible standards demanded by a society prone to blame mothers when anything befalls their children. She describes vividly the plight of individual parents, mothers in particular, struggling with addiction and mental illness and trying to make stable homes for their kids amid the economic and emotional turmoil of their lives - all in the context of the opioid epidemic that has ravaged her home state of Vermont. In her office, during visits with their children, and in the family court, the parents we meet wait anxiously for Lamb's verdict: Have they turned their lives around under child welfare's watchful eye? Do they understand their children's needs? In short, are they good enough? But what is good enough? Lamb turns that question on herself in the midst of her gradual realization of her son's opioid addiction. Amazed at her own denial, feeling powerless to help him, Lamb confronts the heartache she can bring into the lives of others and her power to tear families apart.
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Critic reviews
“The writing is engaging, and Lamb’s professionalism is evident, but what mostly shines through is her empathy, sympathy, and deep concern for her clients, both children and adults.... This honest look at how society judges parents, mothers in particular, deserves a wide audience.” (Booklist, starred review)
“She maintains an open-hearted compassion toward mothers battling similar addictions. At the same time, she shows just how tough some decisions can be when lives are on the line. In a concise book, Lamb ably demonstrates the challenges and pitfalls of passing judgment in such an imperfect world.” (Kirkus Reviews)
“This is the sort of book that begs to be read all at once, in a trance partly fueled by the egotistical longing to see ourselves, our own childhoods and less-than-good-enough mothering, reflected in Lamb’s analysis. With the perfect ratio of warmth and X-ACTO precision, Lamb cuts to the tender pink of everything that can go awry in the parent-child covenant.” (Seven Days)
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Story
When Edward M. Hallowell was 11, a voice out of nowhere told him he should become a psychiatrist. A mental health professional of the time would have called this psychosis. But young Edward (Ned) took it in stride, despite not quite knowing what "psychiatrist" meant. With a psychotic father, an alcoholic mother, an abusive stepfather, and two so-called learning disabilities of his own, Ned was accustomed to unpredictable behaviour from those around him and to a mind he felt he couldn't always control.
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Love and connection permeates through this book!
- By Steve Steinmetz on 06-29-18
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Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed
- Sixteen Writers on the Decision Not to Have Kids
- By: Meghan Daum
- Narrated by: Johnny Heller, Jo Anna Perrin
- Length: 7 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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One of the main topics of cultural conversation during the last decade was the supposed "fertility crisis" and whether modern women could figure out a way to have it all - a successful, demanding career and the required 2.3 children - before their biological clocks stopped ticking. Now, however, conversation has turned to whether it's necessary to have it all (see Anne-Marie Slaughter) or, perhaps more controversial, whether children are really a requirement for a fulfilling life.
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Am I the only sane childfree woman in here?
- By J. Malouin on 09-29-15
By: Meghan Daum
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Have a New Teenager by Friday
- From Mouthy and Moody to Respectful and Responsible in 5 Days
- By: Kevin Leman
- Narrated by: Kirby Heybourne
- Length: 9 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Congratulations! You have a teenager in your home. Life will never quite be the same again (of course, you already know that). But it can be better than you’ve ever dreamed. In fact, you’re just five days away from your teenager asking, “What can I do to help?” Guaranteed! With his signature wit and commonsense psychology, internationally recognized family expert and New York Times best-selling author Dr. Kevin Leman will help you. your teenager’s life. With Dr. Leman’s instinct and insight, plus an index with gutsy advice on 75 hot-button issues that keep parents up at night.
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Listen with a Critical Mind
- By Stephanie on 03-25-13
By: Kevin Leman
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A Daughter's Deadly Deception
- The Jennifer Pan Story
- By: Jeremy Grimaldi
- Narrated by: Joe Hempel
- Length: 12 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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From the outside looking in, Jennifer Pan seemed like a model daughter living a perfect life. The ideal child, the one her immigrant parents saw, was studying to become a pharmacist at the University of Toronto. But there was a dark, deceptive side to the angelic young woman. In reality, Jennifer spent her days in the arms of her high-school sweetheart, Daniel. In an attempt to lead the life she dreamed of, she would do almost anything. For many years she led this double life. But when her father discovered her web of lies, his ultimatum was severe. And so, too, was her revenge.
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Good Story - Odd Formating
- By CrimsonYell on 01-24-20
By: Jeremy Grimaldi
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Transitions of the Heart
- Stories of Love, Struggle and Acceptance by Mothers of Transgender and Gender Variant Children
- By: Rachel Pepper - editor
- Narrated by: Elisabeth Rodgers
- Length: 5 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Transitions of the Heart is the first collection to ever invite mothers of transgender and gender variant children of all ages to tell their own stories about their child’s gender transition. Often transitioning socially and emotionally alongside their child but rarely given a voice in the experience, mothers hold the key to familial and societal understanding of gender difference.
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Heartfelt, Well-Written, and Moving
- By Susie on 01-04-13
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Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin
- How to Recognize and Set Healthy Boundaries
- By: Anne Katherine MA
- Narrated by: Pam Ward
- Length: 6 hrs
- Unabridged
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Have you recently walked away from a date or a conversation feeling uncomfortable or violated? Are you looking for ways to set limits with your spouse, kids, parents, or boss? This essential guide to setting and respecting boundaries is for anyone wanting to better understand themselves and others. Just as a cut in our skin causes pain and injury, a breach of any of our physical, emotional, or sexual boundaries can be very harmful to our bodies and minds.
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Not exactly for tailored for the Male reader
- By Matt on 04-26-22
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The Attachment Effect
- Exploring the Powerful Ways Our Earliest Bond Shapes Our Relationships and Lives
- By: Peter Lovenheim
- Narrated by: Graham Winton
- Length: 8 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Attachment theory is having a moment. Recently covered in the New York Times Magazine, New York magazine, and elsewhere, it's also the subject of popular relationship guides. Why is this 60-year-old theory, widely accepted in psychological circles, suddenly in vogue? Because people are discovering how powerfully it sheds light on who we love - and how. Fascinated by the subject, award-winning journalist and author Peter Lovenheim went on a years-long journey to understand it from the inside out.
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Failed to Attach
- By Danielle SeCheverell on 07-21-20
By: Peter Lovenheim
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Girls Like Us
- Fighting for a World Where Girls Are Not for Sale, an Activist Finds Her Calling and Heals Herself
- By: Rachel Lloyd
- Narrated by: Rachel Lloyd
- Length: 9 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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During her teens, Rachel Lloyd ended up a victim of commercial sexual exploitation. With time, through incredible resilience, and with the help of a local church community, she finally broke free of her pimp and her past and devoted herself to helping other young girls escape "the life". In Girls Like Us, Lloyd reveals the dark world of commercial sex trafficking in cinematic detail and tells the story of her groundbreaking nonprofit organization: GEMS.
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Rachel Lloyd is an Amazing Woman
- By joan m. on 01-14-22
By: Rachel Lloyd
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Remembering Satan
- A Tragic Case of Recovered Memory
- By: Lawrence Wright
- Narrated by: Danny Campbell
- Length: 6 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Remembering Satan is a lucid, measured, yet absolutely riveting inquest into a case that destroyed a family, engulfed a small town, and captivated an America obsessed by rumors of a satanic underground. It follows the increasingly bizarre accusations and confessions, as well as the claims and counterclaims of police, FBI investigators, and mental-health professionals.
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Lawrence Wright missed important details
- By Mark Carras on 06-05-22
By: Lawrence Wright
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Carly's Voice
- Breaking Through Autism
- By: Arthur Fleischmann, Carly Fleischmann
- Narrated by: Patrick Lawlor, Cassandra Campbell
- Length: 11 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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At the age of two, Carly Fleischmann was diagnosed with severe autism and an oral motor condition that prevented her from speaking. Doctors predicted that she would never intellectually develop beyond the abilities of a small child. Although she made some progress after years of intensive behavioral and communication therapy, Carly remained largely unreachable. Then, at age 10, Carly had a breakthrough....
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A peek inside...
- By Yolanda on 08-09-13
By: Arthur Fleischmann, and others
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Hidden Girl
- The True Story of a Modern-Day Child Slave
- By: Shyima Hall, Lisa Wysocky
- Narrated by: Robin Eller
- Length: 6 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Shyima Hall was born in Egypt on September 29, 1989, the seventh child of desperately poor parents. When she was eight, her parents sold her into slavery. Shyima then moved two hours away to Egypt's capitol city of Cairo to live with a wealthy family and serve them eighteen hours a day, seven days a week. When she was ten, her captors moved to Orange County, California, and smuggled Shyima with them. Two years later, an anonymous call from a neighbor brought about the end of Shyima's servitude - but her journey to true freedom was far from over.
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story
- By Don on 09-26-14
By: Shyima Hall, and others
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The Survivors
- A Story of War, Inheritance, and Healing
- By: Adam Frankel
- Narrated by: Adam Frankel, Rob Shapiro
- Length: 8 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Adam Frankel’s maternal grandparents survived the Holocaust and built new lives, with new names, in Connecticut. Though they tried to leave the horrors of their past behind, the pain they suffered crossed generational lines - a fact most apparent in the mental health of Adam’s mother. When Adam sat down with her to examine their family history in detail, he learned another shocking secret, this time one that unraveled Adam’s entire understanding of who he is.
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Amazing story
- By Alissa on 12-26-19
By: Adam Frankel
What listeners say about The Not Good Enough Mother
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Pamela A. Marsh
- 07-21-19
Professional and Personal Story of Assessing the Good Enough Parent
A very but will talk about the difficulties in evaluating the best interest of the children and the fitness of parents in the context of Juvenile receiving. The trials and tribulations of opiate addiction and recovery, both as an observer of parents and from a personal perspective of parenting a child with opiate addiction, demonstrates an intimate understanding of the challenges involved.
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- Kristine Harrell
- 12-05-20
I loved the honesty in this book
I really liked this book. I was one of those "not good enough" mothers 20 years ago. I was an addict and was judged by all to be unfit to raise my 2 and 3 year old babies. It was devastating. I did not disagree, however, when the children's therapist recommended to the court that my two toddlers would be better off with another family. The therapist and the social worker sat on either side of me in court, holding my hands as I choked out the words "I submit." I relinquished my parental rights and it was the most heart-wrenching decision of my young life.
The author's compassion for parents who struggle with addiction combined with her focus on the best interest of the children involved is refreshingly non-judgemental.
End note: I have been 100% clean and sober for 17 years now. No Suboxone crutch, no relapses. My children, now ages 22 and 23, sought me out as soon as they became adults. We picked up right where we left off, albeit with 15 years of catching up to do.
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