The President of Vice
The Autobiography of Joe Biden
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The President of Vice
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Narrated by:
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Joe Barrett
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By:
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The Onion
About this listen
The Onion is proud to present The President of Vice: The Autobiography of Joe Biden. In this scandalous memoir, America's favorite politician discusses his early years, before he became ultimate wingman to the leader of the free world. For the first time ever “Diamond” Joe discusses the formative experiences of his life, including his childhood selling hooch in Scranton, his years cruising college campuses picking up co-eds in a Del Rio, the grade-A tang he plowed in the summer of '87, and his "sweet ass gig" as Senator of Delaware.
Speaking of his own work, Vice President Biden says, "Amigo, you're just one click away from buying Uncle Joe's tell-all autobiography. My sweetest guitar riffs, bustiest lays, wildest benders, and sexiest appropriation bills, it's all in there. You'll not only hear about me and my buddy Barack, but I guarantee you'll pick up some tricks that'll serve you well in the sack. Plus, I'm deep in the hole right now and really need the scratch."
©2013 The Onion (P)2013 Audible, Inc.Listeners also enjoyed...
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-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 259
For Mike Muñoz, a young Chicano living in Washington State, life has been a whole lot of waiting for something to happen. Not too many years out of high school and still doing menial work - and just fired from his latest gig as a lawn boy on a landscaping crew - he knows that he's got to be the one to shake things up if he's ever going to change his life. But how?
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2 out of 5 stars
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CATEGORY AND SUMMARY MISLEADING
- By Gretchen on 05-01-18
By: Jonathan Evison
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The Death of Cool
- From Teenage Rebellion to the Hangover of Adulthood
- By: Gavin McInnes
- Narrated by: Gavin McInnes
- Length: 7 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 1,191
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,051
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Story5 out of 5 stars 1,051
This is his story, or, rather, stories - lots of them, and all gut-punchingly hilarious, from that first far reach into a girl's tight jeans to turning forty with a cataclysmic party. In between you’ll hear about acid trips, threesomes, Nazi skinheads, his band Anal Chinook (Inuit for “warm wind”), Martians in northern Canada, throwing pedophiles in jail, dinner with the Clash, what happens when you crash Bill Maher's show wasted, and the true story of Vice magazine.
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5 out of 5 stars
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if you don't buy this book, the terrorists win
- By Kelsey Gholi on 04-03-17
By: Gavin McInnes
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Hyena
- By: Jude Angelini
- Narrated by: Jude Angelini
- Length: 3 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 1,599
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,417
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Story5 out of 5 stars 1,410
Hyena is a collection of autobiographical stories by Jude Angelini, which takes the listener on his journey of heartbreak, depravity, and hilarity, deftly moving between his adult life and his childhood growing up in a factory town outside of Detroit. Each story is told with brutal honesty yet maintains a gallows humor that will leave you shaking your head in disbelief.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Awesome book, would steal it
- By Dylan S on 09-20-17
By: Jude Angelini
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You're Making Me Hate You
- A Cantankerous Look at the Common Misconception That Humans Have Any Common Sense Left
- By: Corey Taylor
- Narrated by: Corey Taylor
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,186
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,071
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,067
In the tradition of the late, great George Carlin, Corey Taylor, the lead singer of Slipknot and Stone Sour, sounds off in hilarious fashion about the many vagaries of modern life that piss him off. Whether it's people's rude behavior in restaurants and malls, the many indignities of air travel, eye-searingly terrible fashion choices, dangerously clueless drivers, and - most of all - the sorry state of much modern music, Taylor's humor and insight cover civil society's seeming decline.
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5 out of 5 stars
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New perspective.
- By jeremy on 09-22-15
By: Corey Taylor
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Sex, Drugs, Ratt & Roll
- My Life in Rock
- By: Stephen Pearcy, Sam Benjamin
- Narrated by: Stephen R. Thorne
- Length: 8 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 264
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 230
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 228
Stephen Pearcy was a scrawny, horny, thrill-seeking teenager with an electric guitar who had graduated from backyard parties in San Diego to half-empty dives in Los Angeles before he and his band broke through at Whiskey a Go Go. Cranking out metal just as metal got hot, Ratt was the perfect band at the perfect time, and their hit single "Round and Round" became a top-selling anthem.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Stephen Pearcy is one sad mf
- By Awkward Frog on 12-28-20
By: Stephen Pearcy, and others
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KooKooLand
- A Memoir
- By: Gloria Norris
- Narrated by: Gloria Norris
- Length: 14 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 58
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 51
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 51
Gloria Norris grew up in the projects of Manchester, New Hampshire, with her parents; her sister, Virginia; and her cat, Sylvester. A snapshot might show a happy young family, but only a dummkopf would buy that. Nine-year-old Gloria is gutsy and wisecracking. Her father, Jimmy, all dazzle and danger, is often on the far side of the law and makes his own rules - which everyone else better follow. Gloria's mom, Shirley, tries not to rock the boat, Virginia unwisely defies Jimmy, and Gloria fashions herself into his sidekick - the son he never had.
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1 out of 5 stars
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this was so awful I could only listen to a little
- By Wyowoman on 09-14-18
By: Gloria Norris
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The Kings of Cool
- A Prequel to 'Savages'
- By: Don Winslow
- Narrated by: Holter Graham
- Length: 7 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 801
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 716
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 720
In Savages, Don Winslow introduced Ben and Chon, twentysomething best friends who risk everything to save the girl they both love, O. Now, in his high-octane prequel, Winslow reaches back in time to tell the story of how Ben, Chon, and O became the people they are. Spanning from 1960s Southern California to the recent past, it is a tale of family in all its forms. As the younger generation does battle with drug dealers and crooked cops, they learn that their future is inextricably linked with their parents' history.
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3 out of 5 stars
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The truth always come home...
- By Darwin8u on 09-28-17
By: Don Winslow
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Digging Up Mother
- A Love Story
- By: Johnny Depp - foreword, Doug Stanhope
- Narrated by: Doug Stanhope and Friends
- Length: 12 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 3,989
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 3,663
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 3,656
Doug Stanhope is one of the most critically acclaimed and stridently unrepentant comedians of his generation. What will surprise some is that he owes so much of his dark and sometimes uncomfortably honest sense of humor to his mother, Bonnie.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Not my thing.
- By J. Harral on 01-27-18
By: Johnny Depp - foreword, and others
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No Angel
- My Harrowing Undercover Journey to the Inner Circle of the Hells Angels
- By: Jay Dobyns, Nils Johnson-Shelton
- Narrated by: Mel Foster
- Length: 12 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,435
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,186
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,181
Getting shot in the chest as a rookie ATF agent, bartering for machine guns, throttling down the highway at 100 miles per hour, and responding to a full-scale, bloody riot between the Hells Angels and their rivals, the Mongols - these are just a few of the high-adrenaline experiences Jay Dobyns recounts in this action-packed, hard to imagine, but true story of how he infiltrated the legendary Hells Angels.
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2 out of 5 stars
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"I would avoid this one..."
- By Chris on 12-27-12
By: Jay Dobyns, and others
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The Residue Years
- By: Mitchell S. Jackson
- Narrated by: Corey Allen
- Length: 11 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 49
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 43
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 43
Mitchell S. Jackson grew up black in a neglected neighborhood in America’s whitest city, Portland, Oregon. In the ’90s, those streets and beyond had fallen under the shadow of crack cocaine and its familiar mayhem. In his commanding autobiographical novel, Mitchell writes what it was to come of age in that time and place, with a break-out voice that’s nothing less than extraordinary. The Residue Years switches between the perspectives of a young man, Champ, and his mother, Grace.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Dense in cultural details
- By Angel on 12-04-15
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Lamentation
- By: Joe Clifford
- Narrated by: Timothy McKean
- Length: 6 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 37
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 30
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Story4 out of 5 stars 30
In a frigid New Hampshire winter, Jay Porter is trying to eke out a living and maintain some semblance of a relationship with his former girlfriend and their two-year-old son. When he receives an urgent call that Chris, his drug-addicted brother, is being questioned by the sheriff about his missing junkie business partner, Jay feels obliged to come to his rescue. After Jay negotiates his brother's release from the county jail, Chris disappears into the night.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Excellent Listen!
- By Jason on 08-19-15
By: Joe Clifford
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Wanna Bet?
- A Degenerate Gambler's Guide to Living on the Edge
- By: Artie Lange
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 6 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 359
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 323
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 320
The two-time best-selling author, comedian, actor, and radio icon explains the philosophy that has kept his existence boredom-free since the age of 13 - the love of risk. An avid sports better and frequent card player, Lange believes that the true gambler gets high not from winning, but from the chaotic unknown of betting itself. He recounts some of his favorite moments, many of which haven't involved money at all. In this candid and entertaining memoir, he looks back at the times he's wagered the intangible and priceless things in life: his health, his career, and his relationships.
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5 out of 5 stars
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who needs Artie (to read)
- By B. Wenners on 08-24-18
By: Artie Lange
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The Winter of Frankie Machine
- By: Don Winslow
- Narrated by: Dennis Boutsikaris
- Length: 9 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 3,070
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,685
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,681
Frank Machianno is a late-middle-aged ex-surf bum who runs a bait shack on the San Diego waterfront. An affable Italian with a love of people and life, he's a stand-up businessman, devoted father, and a beloved fixture in the community. He's also a hit man - specifically, a retired hit man. Back in the day when he was one of the most feared members of the West Coast Mafia, he was known as Frankie Machine.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Five stars straight across the board
- By Eric Taylor on 06-28-12
By: Don Winslow
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On Drinking
- By: Charles Bukowski
- Narrated by: Roger Wayne
- Length: 4 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 140
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 119
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 118
Charles Bukowski turns to the bottle in this revelatory collection of poetry and prose that includes some of the writer’s best and most lasting work. A self-proclaimed “dirty old man”, Bukowski used alcohol as muse and as fuel, a conflicted relationship responsible for some of his darkest moments, as well as some of his most joyful and inspired. In On Drinking, Bukowski expert Abel Debritto has collected the writer’s most profound, funny, and memorable work on his ups and downs with the hard stuff.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Don't read this sober
- By Lowball on 03-02-19
By: Charles Bukowski
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The Last Detail
- A Novel
- By: Darryl Ponicsan
- Narrated by: Bronson Pinchot
- Length: 5 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 47
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 43
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 43
Unlike other branches of the armed services, the Navy draws its police force from the ranks as temporary duty - Shore Patrol. In this funny, bawdy, moving audiobook set during the height of the Vietnam War, two career sailors in transit in Norfolk, Virginia - Billy "Bad-Ass" Buddusky and Mule Mulhall - are assigned to escort 18-year-old Larry Meadows from Norfolk to the brig in Portsmouth, New Hampshire, where he is to serve an eight-year sentence for petty theft. It's good duty, until the two old salts realize the injustice of the sentence and are oddly affected by the naive innocence of their young prisoner.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Surprising ending
- By bella on 09-11-20
By: Darryl Ponicsan
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Just a Guy
- Notes from a Blue Collar Life
- By: Bill Engvall, Alan Eisenstock
- Narrated by: Bill Engvall
- Length: 5 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 628
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 491
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 489
Blue Collar Comedy star Bill Engvall is just a guy. He's been one his whole life. He can't help it; he was born that way. And that makes him an expert on the subject. For the record, here's the official definition of a guy: a person who doesn't think before he speaks. He can't. He's not that deep. Because a guy has only three basic needs: eating, sleeping, and sex. That's it. Just a Guy chronicles a lifetime in pursuit of those needs.
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5 out of 5 stars
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The Man Behind The Signs
- By Christopher on 12-07-07
By: Bill Engvall, and others
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Of Mice and Minestrone
- Hap and Leonard: The Early Years (Hap and Leonard)
- By: Kathleen Kent - introduction, Kasey Lansdale - contributor, Joe R. Lansdale
- Narrated by: JD Jackson
- Length: 5 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 46
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 39
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 39
Hap Collins looks like a good ol’ boy. But even in his misspent youth, his best pal is Leonard Pine, who is Black, gay, and the ultimate outsider. Inseparable friends, Hap and Leonard climb into the boxing ring, visit their families, get in bar fights, and just go fishing - all the while confronting racists, righting wrongs, and eating a whole lot of delicious food.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Wringing every last drop
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 04-08-23
By: Kathleen Kent - introduction, and others
What listeners say about The President of Vice
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Terence
- 12-22-13
Hilarious, But Exhausting
Any additional comments?
Really, really funny material here and excellent comedic narration. However, kinda like an SNL skit that gets morphed into a movie, the jokes tend to get a little tired. I listened to it in 15 or 20 minute intervals.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Leonard Smith
- 01-16-17
Funny, funny
Not for anyone easily offended. It is hilarious. It is a good natured poke at one of the best politicians of our time.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story2 out of 5 stars
- Ian Hardouin
- 10-08-18
Less funny in 2018
Satire that regular readers of The Onion will get. Joe Barrrett does a good Biden impersonation. In light of the US political and cultural climate since 2016, this feels less funny now than it did when this first came out. Not a knock on The Onion writers or Biden, but just a note that some of the material probably wouldn’t be published today.
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2 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- charles murphy
- 07-28-22
Let's Go Diamond Joe!
Biden was way cooler before he became president and this book is proof. This book bangs harder than a Tijuana Bumblebee.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
- Jeff beam
- 04-30-16
Amazing
Funny worth a listen now get more by the onion and I can die happy
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 09-08-21
Baller
Ol joe really takes the listener for a ride, it is definitely worth the scratch.
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