The Science of Trust

Emotional Attunement for Couples

By: John M. Gottman Ph.D.

Narrated by: J. Charles

For the past 35 years, John Gottman’s research has been internationally recognized for its unprecedented ability to precisely measure interactive processes in couples and to predict the long-term success or failure of relationships. In this groundbreaking book, he presents a new approach to understanding and changing couples: a fundamental social skill called “emotional attunement,” which describes a couple’s ability to fully process and move on from negative emotional events, ultimately creating a stronger relationship.

Gottman draws from this longitudinal research and theory to show how emotional attunement can downregulate negative affect, help couples focus on positive traits and memories, and even help prevent domestic violence. He offers a detailed intervention devised to cultivate attunement, thereby helping couples connect, respect each other, and show affection. Emotional attunement is extended to tackle the subjects of flooding, the story we tell ourselves about our relationship, conflict, personality, changing relationships, and gender. Gottman also explains how to create emotional attunement when it is missing, to lay a foundation that will carry the relationship through difficult times.

Gottman encourages couples to cultivate attunement through awareness, tolerance, understanding, non-defensive listening, and empathy. These qualities, he argues, inspire confidence in couples, and the sense that despite the inevitable struggles, the relationship is enduring and resilient.

This book, an essential follow-up to his 1999 The Marriage Clinic, offers therapists, students, and researchers a detailed intervention for working with couples, and offers couples a roadmap to a stronger future together.

©2012 John M. Gottman (P)2012 Brilliance Audio, Inc.

This book is fascinating!

Yes it is like a textbook. It was hard to understand the first time I listened to it. I have listened to it so many times now I practically have some of it memorized. The reader is amazing, the book is densely packed with information and dialogue, but he very clearly reads it all. I almost thought it was John Gottman reading it. It is almost a compilation of all his writings, which are amazing good sense, plus more info gained by years of experience.

The Key to relationships gold 🥇

The science of trusts is exceptional on the relationship between people truth and Trust. if you can handle the heavy clinical verbiage it is for everyone.

excellent couples relationship book

great relationship book with practical changes you can make to relate to your significant other more positively

Not kidding when they say its the science of trust

There was a lot more math and philosophical theories in this book then I was anticipating. At times I felt like I was reading the scientific journal of the experimenter. Overall, this book has a lot of phenomenal information that will help anyone build trusting relationships if they apply the principals.

Good research lacking some practical.

I wish there were more practical aspects to be applied from reading this book. It was good. There were some practical aspects. But I was looking for more ways of applying with the research was saying. I did find the narrator to be a little bit annoying when he was reading quoted text. Particularly when he said the word “yeah” it always came out like a long drawn out question. “Yyyaaaahhh???”

super interesting

There's so much good information about trust. The studies were especially interesting. Long book but totally worth the read.

The First Solid Foundation for Couple's Therapy

In various classes in theory and practice of the many subtypes of therapy, couple's therapy made me throw my hands up in frustration. Every professor had their own techniques and usually vague or unstated foundations that looked to me more like choices of assumptions than a theory. This grew sharp when every professor in this type of therapy taught things contradictory with the others. Their results were dismal, with rational explanations for why.

Then I read Gottman's 'The Science of Trust' plus listened to this audiobook multiple times each and from the first reading, my view of couple's therapy changed. He has developed an extensively tested model of couple dynamics that apply across age groups, straight/gay, cultural and 40 years of data collection. It works; it makes clear predictions which so far have stood the test of time. It is nothing short of amazing. What to know why your relationship is having problems? What to know how to make it better? Read this book.

If you have a stronger math background, you can follow this with his, Mathematics of Marriage, obviously only in print and maybe e-book from Amazon.

Changed my life

This audio book has changed my relationships improving the way I relate and interact with family, friends and acquaintances for the better. I started following John Gottman work thanks to my therapist and I got this book due to the failure of the potential romantic relationship I was just getting into. The book is really practical. It really appeal to me all the theory, bibliographic information and all the couple exchange samples. I totally recommended.

Learning to Trust

I learned quite a bit and will listen again with the person that I am trying to trust again...

A book written for counselors

It might be better titled: "The history of the science of trust".
Very technical and informative.