Theory of Bastards
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Theory of Bastards
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Narrated by:
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Rachel Dulude
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By:
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Audrey Schulman
About this listen
"Stage four. Surgery. Recovering." While those are the simple words that once described Dr. Francine Burk's situation, the reality is much more complex. Her new reality is bacon rinds for breakfast and feeling unduly thrilled by her increasing ability to walk across a room without assistance. And it's being offered a placement at a prestigious research institute where she can put to good use her recent award money. With the Foundation's advanced technological resources and a group of fascinating primates, Francine can begin to verify her subversive scientific discovery, which has challenged the foundations of history - her Theory of Bastards.
Frankie finds that the bonobos she's studying are as complex as the humans she's working alongside. Their personalities are strong and distinct, and reigning over it all is Mama, the commanding, matriarchal leader of the group. Frankie comes to know the bonobos and to further develop her groundbreaking theory with the help of her research partner, a man with a complicated past and perhaps a place in her future. And then something changes everything, and the lines that divide them - between subject and scientist, between colleague and companion - begin to blur.
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Story4 out of 5 stars 313
Pepper is a rambunctious big man, and, suddenly, the surprised inmate of a budget-strapped mental institution in Queens, New York. He's not mentally ill, but that doesn't seem to matter. On his first night, he's visited by a terrifying creature who nearly kills him before being hustled away by the hospital staff. It's no delusion: The other patients confirm that a hungry devil roams the hallways when the sun goes down. Pepper rallies three other inmates in a plot to fight back: Dorry, an octogenarian schizophrenic; Coffee, an African immigrant with severe OCD; and Loochie, a bipolar teenage girl.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Not a horror/thriller
- By Matilda Luk on 03-17-18
By: Victor LaValle
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Fishbowl
- A Novel
- By: Bradley Somer
- Narrated by: Peter Berkrot
- Length: 8 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 570
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 519
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Story4 out of 5 stars 518
A goldfish named Ian is falling from the 27th-floor balcony on which his fishbowl sits. He's longed for adventure, so when the opportunity arises, he escapes from his bowl, clears the balcony railing and finds himself airborne. Plummeting toward the street below, Ian witnesses the lives of the Seville on Roxy residents.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Book so good, it'll make you want to slap yo momma
- By Fabrikator on 07-26-16
By: Bradley Somer
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Origin
- A Thriller
- By: J. A. Konrath
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 2,953
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,673
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Story4 out of 5 stars 2,682
When linguist Andrew Dennison is yanked from his bed by the Secret Service and taken to a top secret facility in the desert, he has no idea he's been brought there to translate the words of an ancient demon. He joins pretty but cold veterinarian Sun Jones, eccentric molecular biologist Dr. Frank Belgium, and a hodge-podge of religious, military, and science personnel to try and figure out if the creature is, indeed, Satan. But things quickly go bad, and very soon Andy isn't just fighting for his life, but the lives of everyone on earth…
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4 out of 5 stars
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Making My Beelzebubble Burst
- By Carol on 01-01-14
By: J. A. Konrath
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The Vault of Dreamers
- Vault of Dreamers Series # 1
- By: Caragh M. O'Brien
- Narrated by: Emily Woo Zeller
- Length: 10 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 110
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 99
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 99
The Forge School is the most prestigious arts school in the country. The secret to its success: every moment of the students' lives is televised as part of the insanely popular Forge Show, and the students' schedule includes twelve hours of induced sleep meant to enhance creativity. But when first-year student Rosie Sinclair skips her sleeping pill, she discovers there is something off about Forge. In fact, she suspects that there are sinister things going on deep below the reaches of the cameras in the school.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Interesting premise best suited for YA readers
- By Linda J on 02-23-15
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Future Home of the Living God
- A Novel
- By: Louise Erdrich
- Narrated by: Louise Erdrich
- Length: 10 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 866
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 787
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Story4 out of 5 stars 787
The world as we know it is ending. Evolution has reversed itself, affecting every living creature on earth. Science cannot stop the world from running backward, as woman after woman gives birth to infants that appear to be primitive species of humans. Thirty-two-year-old Cedar Hawk Songmaker, adopted daughter of a pair of big-hearted, open-minded Minneapolis liberals, is as disturbed and uncertain as the rest of America around her. But for Cedar, this change is profound and deeply personal. She is four months pregnant.
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3 out of 5 stars
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“Nolite te bastardes carborundorum”
- By Mel on 11-27-17
By: Louise Erdrich
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Mud Vein
- By: Tarryn Fisher
- Narrated by: Simone Lewis
- Length: 10 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,184
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,063
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1,069
When reclusive novelist Senna Richards wakes up on her 33rd birthday, everything has changed. Caged behind an electrical fence, locked in a house in the middle of the snow, Senna is left to decode the clues to find out why she was taken. If she wants her freedom, she has to take a close look at her past. But, her past has a heartbeat... and her kidnapper is nowhere to be found. With her survival hanging by a thread, Senna soon realizes this is a game. A dangerous one. Only the truth can set her free.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Raw
- By Cynthia on 09-13-15
By: Tarryn Fisher
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The Story of Edgar Sawtelle
- By: David Wroblewski
- Narrated by: Richard Poe
- Length: 21 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 851
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 769
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Story4 out of 5 stars 775
Filled with breathtaking scenes, the elemental north woods, the sweep of seasons, an iconic American barn, a fateful vision rendered in the falling rain. The Story of Edgar Sawtelle is a meditation on the limits of language and what lies beyond, a brilliantly inventive retelling of an ancient story, and an epic tale of devotion, betrayal, and courage in the American heartland.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Devastatingly Dark Story
- By Knitme23 on 02-07-15
By: David Wroblewski
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The Kill Clause
- By: Gregg Hurwitz
- Narrated by: Peter Friedman
- Length: 6 hrs and 5 mins
- Abridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 857
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 751
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Story4 out of 5 stars 752
Tim Rackley, a deputy U.S. marshal, watches helplessly as his daughter's killer walks free on a legal technicality. He is suddenly forced to explore his own deadly options, a quest that leads him into the welcoming fold of "The Commission".
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3 out of 5 stars
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Did not realize it was abridged
- By David Kindell on 11-13-18
By: Gregg Hurwitz
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Riding Lessons
- A Novel (The Riding Lessons Series, Book 1)
- By: Sara Gruen
- Narrated by: Maggi-Meg Reed
- Length: 9 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 16
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Performance3.5 out of 5 stars 14
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Story4 out of 5 stars 14
As a world-class equestrian and Olympic contender, Annemarie Zimmer lived for the thrill of flight atop a strong, graceful animal. Then, at 18, a tragic accident destroyed her riding career and Harry, the beautiful horse she cherished. Now, 20 years later, Annemarie is coming home to her dying father’s New Hampshire horse farm. Jobless and abandoned, she is bringing her troubled teenage daughter to this place of pain and memory, where ghosts of an unresolved youth still haunt the fields and stables.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Horrible
- By Walter Ward on 09-29-22
By: Sara Gruen
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Dark Room Etiquette
- By: Robin Roe
- Narrated by: Andrew J. Andersen
- Length: 12 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 105
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 89
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 89
Sixteen-year-old Sayers Wayte has everything. Popularity, good looks, perfect grades—there's nothing Sayers' family money can't buy. Until he's kidnapped by a man who tells him the privileged life he's been living is based on a lie. Trapped in a windowless room, without knowing why he's been taken or how long the man plans to keep him shut away, Sayers faces a terrifying new reality. To survive, he must forget the world he once knew, and play the part his abductor has created for him.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Absolutely brilliant
- By Shelley on 01-20-23
By: Robin Roe
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The Best Horror of the Year, Volume 4
- By: Ellen Datlow - author/editor, Stephen King, Peter Straub
- Narrated by: Meredith Mitchell, Rebecca Mitchell, Michael Healy, and others
- Length: 16 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 218
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 199
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 198
With tales from Laird Barron, Stephen King, John Langan, Peter Straub, and many others, and featuring Datlow’s comprehensive overview of the year in horror, now, more than ever, The Best Horror of the Year provides the petrifying horror fiction readers have come to expect - and enjoy.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Only a few decent stories in this bunch.
- By Jerry on 12-06-14
By: Ellen Datlow - author/editor, and others
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Real Vampires Don't Sparkle
- By: Amy Fecteau
- Narrated by: James Patrick Cronin
- Length: 17 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 279
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 258
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Story4 out of 5 stars 258
Matheus Taylor didn't ask to be murdered. To be fair, the percentage of people actually asking to be murdered is probably small enough to be safely ignored, but he felt it was worth stating regardless. His life might have been ordinary, but it was his life and he wasn't done with it yet. Quin didn't care. A 1,700-year-old Roman, Quintus Livius Saturnius had a different view of morality than most people. Killing Matheus and hijacking his undead existence seemed perfectly acceptable to him.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Not sure if it's the narrator or just bad writing
- By MD on 06-20-17
By: Amy Fecteau
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All That's Left of Me
- A Novel
- By: Janis Thomas
- Narrated by: Angela Dawe
- Length: 11 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 159
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 137
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 136
It starts with a simple wish, and Emma Davies hardly notices when it comes true. She’s too preoccupied with a life she isn’t happy in - the spark in her marriage has fizzled, her career is headed nowhere and her boss is a misogynist. Her teenage daughter has grown distant, and her heart breaks daily for her teenage son with cerebral palsy. But soon Emma discovers her wishes are coming true, and she realizes that she has been given the power to change her life. Either that, or she’s going insane.
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4 out of 5 stars
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MADE ME THINK ABOUT MY LIFE . . . .
- By TONYA on 06-29-19
By: Janis Thomas
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Hold Me Closer Necromancer
- By: Lish McBride
- Narrated by: Jonathan Todd Ross, Chris Sorensen
- Length: 10 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 342
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 305
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 305
The riveting debut work from celebrated newcomer Lish McBride, Hold Me Closer, Necromancer drops a seemingly average boy into the adventure of a lifetime. Sam can’t complain about much, even if his job isn’t the most glamorous one around. But his world gets a whole lot more complicated when he crosses paths with Douglas, a necromancer who gets paid to raise the dead. Douglas thinks Sam might have the right touch for necromancing, and when this turns out to be all too true, Sam faces unimaginable dangers.
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5 out of 5 stars
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I will love you all night long...
- By Amazon Customer on 10-08-12
By: Lish McBride
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Her Body and Other Parties
- Stories
- By: Carmen Maria Machado
- Narrated by: Amy Landon
- Length: 8 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 640
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 551
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 558
In Her Body and Other Parties, Carmen Maria Machado blithely demolishes the arbitrary borders between psychological realism and science fiction, comedy and horror, fantasy and fabulism. While her work has earned her comparisons to Karen Russell and Kelly Link, she has a voice that is all her own. In this electric and provocative debut, Machado bends genre to shape startling narratives that map the realities of women's lives and the violence visited upon their bodies.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Beautiful
- By Anonymous User on 11-17-17
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The Silent History
- By: Eli Horowitz, Matthew Derby, Kevin Moffett
- Narrated by: Gabra Zackman, LJ Ganser
- Length: 14 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 76
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 72
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 72
It begins as a statistical oddity: a spike in children born with acute speech delays. Physically normal in every way, these children never speak and do not respond to speech; they don't learn to read, don't learn to write. As the number of cases grows to an epidemic level, theories spread. Maybe it's related to a popular antidepressant; maybe it's environmental. Or maybe these children have special skills all their own.
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4 out of 5 stars
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A Thought-Provoking Premise
- By Doug - Audible on 03-31-15
By: Eli Horowitz, and others
What listeners say about Theory of Bastards
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
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Performance3 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- FA in Austin
- 09-15-19
Strong start, but loses momentum
Interesting protagonist and plot, but the last third of the book isn't as strong. Devolves into post apocalypse pining. Oddly, the narrator gets better as the book goes on.
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2 people found this helpful
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story3 out of 5 stars
- Michael G Kurilla
- 05-17-24
Primates and endometriosis followed by apocalypse
Audrey Schulman’s Theory of Bastards is a bit disjointed. The tale begins with a young woman who has developed an interesting angle to the notion of evolution of courtship behavior. At the same time, she has been struggling with an undiagnosed medical condition that has plagued her since puberty. She is testing her theory at a primate facility. In the second half, an ill-defined catastrophe renders the facility uninhabitable. She and another scientist trek around with their primate subject learning that they are now living in a post-apocalyptic world.
Schulman presents a biased presentation for endometriosis. In addition, her treatment options: hysterectomy or pregnancy leaves out the more common approach which is hormone therapy. While the initial plot was engaging, the post-apocalyptic setting for the remainder of the story was disconnected with the overall plot.
The narration is adequate with reasonable character distinction. Pacing was smooth.
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