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Too Fat to Fish
- Narrated by: Artie Lange
- Length: 7 hrs and 56 mins
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Publisher's summary
A natural storyteller with a bottomless pit of material, Lange grew up in a close-knit, working-class Italian family in Union, New Jersey, as a maniacal Yankees fan who pursued the two things his father said he was cut out for: sports and comedy. Tragically, Artie Lange Sr. never saw the truth in that prediction. He became a quadriplegic in an accident when Artie was 18 and died soon after. But as with every trial in his life, from his drug addiction to his obesity, to his fights with his mother, Artie mines the humor, pathos, and humanity in these events and turns them into comedy classics.
True fans of the Stern Show will find Artie gold in these pages: hilarious tales that couldn't have happened to anyone else. There are stories from his days driving a Jersey cab, working as a longshoreman in Port Newark, and navigating the dark circuit of stand-up comedy. There are outrageous episodes from the frenzied heights of his coked-up days at MADtv, surprisingly moving stories from his childhood, and an account of his recent U.S.O. tour that is equally stirring and irreverent. But also in this volume are stories Artie's never told before, including some that he deemed too revealing for radio.
Wild, shocking, and drop-dead hilarious, Too Fat to Fish is Artie Lange giving everything he's got to give. And like a true pro, the man never disappoints.
Critic reviews
"A comedy treasure....One of the funniest guys there is....The pride of New Jersey." (Jimmy Kimmel)
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The New York Times best-selling biography of an American comedy legend. After three years of sobriety, Chris Farley's life was at its creative peak until a string of professional disappointments chased him back to drugs and alcohol. He fought hard against them, but it was a fight he would lose in December 1997. Farley's fans immediately drew parallels between his death and that of his idol, John Belushi. Without looking deeper, however, many failed to see that Farley was much more than just another Hollywood drug overdose. In this officially authorized oral history, Farley's friends and family remember his work and life.
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Incredibly sad....
- By Marie B on 04-12-15
By: Tom Farley, and others
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Digging Up Mother
- A Love Story
- By: Johnny Depp - foreword, Doug Stanhope
- Narrated by: Doug Stanhope and Friends
- Length: 12 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Doug Stanhope is one of the most critically acclaimed and stridently unrepentant comedians of his generation. What will surprise some is that he owes so much of his dark and sometimes uncomfortably honest sense of humor to his mother, Bonnie.
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Not my thing.
- By J. Harral on 01-27-18
By: Johnny Depp - foreword, and others
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Easy for You to Say
- By: John Melendez
- Narrated by: John Melendez
- Length: 6 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Easy For You To Say is "Stuttering" John Melendez's memoir of his childhood being bullied in school for his stutter; his years as an on-air personality with The Howard Stern Show; and his subsequent 10-year career as a writer and on-air announcer for Jay Leno's Tonight Show. It details his famously acerbic relationships with celebrities he interviewed/insulted (Raquel Welch once punched him in the face). In the audiobook, Howard Stern emerges as a surprisingly mean, stingy, and megalomaniacal boss - and Jay Leno as a seeming sufferer from OCD.
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Was expecting more
- By Amazon Customer on 10-25-18
By: John Melendez
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The Filthy Truth
- By: Andrew Dice Clay, David Ritz
- Narrated by: Bruce Rubenstein
- Length: 8 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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In this unapologetic and uncensored autobiography, Andrew Dice Clay is ready to set the record straight. He was the eighties’ answer to Lenny Bruce, with material that stretched the boundaries of decency and good taste to their breaking point, and in turn became the most vilified stand-up comic of all time.
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The Diceman Returns!
- By Steven D. Sorrell on 03-26-15
By: Andrew Dice Clay, and others
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Loudmouth
- Tales (and Fantasies) of Sports, Sex, and Salvation from Behind the Microphone
- By: Craig Carton
- Narrated by: Craig Carton
- Length: 6 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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In this debut, Carton invites the listener to join him as he recounts tales from his suburban youth, defends his long-held love affair with the New York Jets, reminisces about the shenanigans of some of the highest paid and most celebrated athletes playing today, and reflects on his work as one of radio's craftiest, most hilarious personalities ever to get behind the microphone.
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Fun but too much about early life
- By Anthony A. Ciaccio on 07-13-13
By: Craig Carton
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Dirty Daddy
- The Chronicles of a Family Man Turned Filthy Comedian
- By: Bob Saget
- Narrated by: Bob Saget
- Length: 6 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Millions of viewers know and love Bob Saget from his role as the sweetly neurotic father on the smash hit Full House, and as the charming wisecracking host of America's Funniest Home Videos. And then there are the legions of fans who can't get enough of his scatological, out-of-his-mind stand-up routines, comedy specials, and outrageously profane performances in such shows as HBO's Entourage and the hit documentary The Aristocrats.
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Meh to the 2nd Power
- By Hilary on 06-30-14
By: Bob Saget
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Bare Bones
- I'm Not Lonely If You're Reading This Book
- By: Bobby Bones
- Narrated by: Bobby Bones
- Length: 6 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Growing up poor in Mountain Pine, Arkansas, with a young, addicted mom, Bobby Estell fell in love with country music. Abandoned by his father at the age of five, Bobby saw the radio as his way out - a dream that came true in college when he went on air at the Henderson State University campus station broadcasting as Bobby Bones while simultaneously starting The Bobby Bones Show at 105.9 KLAZ.
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A look inside the narcissist life of Bobby Bones.
- By Selena on 05-20-16
By: Bobby Bones
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The Improv
- An Oral History of the Comedy Club That Revolutionized Stand-Up
- By: Budd Friedman, Tripp Whetsell, Jay Leno - foreword
- Narrated by: Johnny Heller
- Length: 10 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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In 1963, 30-year-old Friedman - who had recently quit his job as a Boston advertising executive and returned to his hometown of New York to become a theatrical producer - opened a coffee house for Broadway performers called the Improvisation. His goal? Simply to make a living, and if all went according to plan, to also make enough professional contacts to be able to mount his first Broadway show within a year's time. Later shortened to the Improv, its first West 44th Street location was in a seedy section of Manhattan's Hell's Kitchen.
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Strange format, OK story.
- By ReviewrRob on 04-19-24
By: Budd Friedman, and others
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Coreyography
- By: Corey Feldman
- Narrated by: Corey Feldman
- Length: 8 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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In this brave and moving memoir, Corey Feldman is revealing the truth about what his life was like behind the scenes: His is a past that included physical, drug, and sexual abuse, a dysfunctional family from which he was emancipated at age fifteen, three high-profile arrests for drug possession, a nine-month stint in rehab, and a long, slow crawl back to the top of the box office.
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Didn't like the Two Coreys, but liked this.
- By ricketsj on 04-29-14
By: Corey Feldman
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You're Better than Me
- A Memoir
- By: Bonnie McFarlane
- Narrated by: Bonnie McFarlane, Alexander Cendese
- Length: 7 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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In the spirit of Mindy Kaling, Kelly Oxford, and Sarah Silverman, a compulsively listenable and outrageously funny memoir of growing up as a fish out of water, finding your voice, and embracing your inner crazy person from popular actress, writer, and comedian Bonnie McFarlane.
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Sandy!!! She wrote a book...it's crazy, a book!!!
- By Jonathan Placek on 03-02-16
By: Bonnie McFarlane
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Dynomite!
- Good Times, Bad Times…Our Times - A Memoir
- By: Jimmie Walker, Sal Manna
- Narrated by: Jimmie Walker
- Length: 9 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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>Born into the violence of South Bronx ghetto life, the comic pioneer of TV’s Good Times fame offers a hilarious and politically charged review of his career as one of television’s first hugely successful Black stars. From opening for the Black Panthers and getting his first Tonight Show spot to becoming the first “Black” TV sitcom star, having comedians David Letterman and Jay Leno writing jokes for him, recording number-one comedy albums, and opening for rock n’ roll bands in 50,000 seat stadiums, Walker’s career hit all the highs.
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An transparent story of a socially but funny American icon.
- By John Lucasey on 05-08-21
By: Jimmie Walker, and others
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The Todd Glass Situation
- A Bunch of Lies about My Personal Life and a Bunch of True Stories about My 30-Year Career in Standup Comedy
- By: Todd Glass, Jonathan Grotenstein
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 6 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Growing up in a Philadelphia suburb in the 1970s was an easy life. Well, easy as long as you didn't have dyslexia or ADD, or were a Jew. And once you added gay into the mix, life became more difficult. So Todd Glass decided to hide the gay part, no matter how comic, tragic, or comically tragic the results. Now, Todd has written an open, honest, and hilarious memoir in an effort to help everyone - young and old, gay and straight - breathe a little more freely.
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Worth It
- By Heather on 11-17-14
By: Todd Glass, and others
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Pain Killer
- A Memoir of Big League Addiction
- By: Brantt Myhres, Michael Landsberg - foreword
- Narrated by: Brantt Myhres, Michael Landsberg
- Length: 10 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Brantt Myhres wasn't around for the birth of his daughter. Myhres had played for seven different NHL teams, and had made millions. But he'd been suspended four times, all for drug use, and he had partied his way out of the league. This is his story, in his own words, of how he fought his way out of minor hockey into the big league, but never left behind the ghosts of a bleak and troubled childhood.
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I love hockey.
- By Brew2go on 06-14-21
By: Brantt Myhres, and others
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American on Purpose
- The Improbable Adventures of an Unlikely Patriot
- By: Craig Ferguson
- Narrated by: Craig Ferguson
- Length: 7 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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In American on Purpose, Craig Ferguson delivers a moving and achingly funny memoir of living the American dream as he journeys from the mean streets of Glasgow, Scotland, to the comedic promised land of Hollywood. Along the way, he stumbles through several attempts to make his mark - as a punk rock musician, a construction worker, a bouncer, and, tragically, a modern dancer.
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Unabashedly Honest
- By Diane on 12-09-09
By: Craig Ferguson
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Robert Altman
- The Oral Biography
- By: Mitchell Zuckoff
- Narrated by: Robert Altman, Warren Beatty, Cher, and others
- Length: 18 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Robert Altman - visionary director, hard-partying hedonist, eccentric family man, Hollywood legend - comes roaring to life in this rollicking cinematic biography, told in a chorus of voices that can only be called Altmanesque.
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Enthralling!
- By Wise & Careful Shopper on 10-17-10
By: Mitchell Zuckoff
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[Narrator Fail] Comic Genius+Depression+Drugs=Mess
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What listeners say about Too Fat to Fish
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall
- Edward
- 11-17-08
Two Hands on the Wheel
If you, like me, tend to listen to your audiobooks on the road, beware. Keep two hands on the wheel. As you will need all the help you can get when hysteria takes over.
A brilliant several hours is delivered by a talent too large to miss. Outburst laughter, heartfelt sadness, anger, and stark moments of self loathing bring this marvelous journey to life.
As a long time AudibleListener, whose style is leave the writing to the professionals, I will not bore you with why the quintet of stars?
All I pray is Artie finds time for more . . . and shelves any notion his contribution is all there is - for a shame it would be if this were his way of scripting the longest suicide note on record.
Do yourself a favor, and make the download button your next key stroke. Fire!
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- Bradley
- 09-03-15
ARTIE LANGE IS AMAZING & SO TRUTHFUL IN THIS BOOK
If you could sum up Too Fat to Fish in three words, what would they be?
Perseverance, love &, determination
Who was your favorite character and why?
THEYRE ALL GREAT I REALLY CANT JUST PICK ONE probably the pig character in babe watch I had to looked that up on YouTube because it sounded hilarious
What about Artie Lange’s performance did you like?
He was so truthful, just like he is in Real life, also undoubtably on the Howard Stern show. He really makes it clear that struggles whatever it might be drugs, career, family. He puts it all on the table really interesting, he's brutally honesty & I look up to it, even though he has major ups and downs I'd say a lot of downs but more UPS BECAUSE he wouldn't be where he is if it was all downS... He truly inspires me because I do also related to his drug abuse problems and it show me that through determination and hard work those battles can be won. Even one has demons that they must persevere through. I truly enjoyed the whole book even though he talks about his fathers death a lot (Which i understand cause family is very thing to him and that played a huge roll in his life to pick up where he father left off_ to be the strong "man of the house") but I obviously cant knock him for that. The only reason I bring that up is cause i wanted to listen to HIS stories and life more than the depressing stories about his fathers problems. But his family is what made him, him so that's why he brings them up! but he does tell the story about his father and how he died at least three or four times in the book that was a little too much but thats what impacted his life so much, which brought him all these interesting issues he strugggled with his whole life. Which IS why he mentions it a lot. So overall its an amazing book and i recommended to anybody who is interested in the person who struggles a real person with the real stories with real live with Real struggles a real down to earth person overcoming obstacles in life to become successful all while knocking on deaths door (According to figures in his life). Great job Artie your the man! My friends recently met him @ a bar in nyc and i wish i could have met him as well. Hopefully some day cause we have a lot in common. THANKS!
Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?
When he mentions his big break /Meaning his paycheck and completely removes him mom of all the stress of bill/ debt. Buys her new house, car,whatever she wanted that's truly a sons dream to do to a mother and that particularly moved me. Additionally he helped his sister, which was very gracious of him because they stuck by him through ups and downs just like a family should do. Blood is thicker than water.
Any additional comments?
I got this book through audible credits and honestly I would buy this book if I didn't have the free credits to download this book it was that good! I am a huge Artie Lange fan and I think that this book is amazing. So is crash and burn/ I love Artie Lange and everything he has to offer he's a truthful man and that what makes him so lovable cause its life and its relatable!
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Overall
- Jason
- 02-11-09
A must for any Stern Fan
A real (scary) look into Artie's life and how he became who he is today. The book is extremely funny; even the Rev. Bob makes a guest reading and the words were pronounced almost accurately.
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- Jose L
- 07-25-17
Half audio, disappointing
It started out so good until Artie couldn't continue reading. If I knew this, I would have instead bought the book.
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- EddGAAR
- 02-27-22
Rev Bob Levy
Would have been a great audiobook, except Bob Levy’s illiteracy really brought it down . Terrible
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- Renee Van
- 08-22-22
Artie the Everyman millionaire
I love Artie. With all his craziness, addiction issues, temper, etc., you still love and can't be mad at him. Yes you are mad that he is killing himself. But there is something about this crazy son of a bitch (joke) that you can't help but root for him to get better. His self sabotaging ways are intoxicating. I'm addicted. Great book. If you listen to the Stern show you know there is no sound better than when Artie is laughing. Well when Artie and Robin are hysterically laughing... that is the best but we are talking about Artie here.
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Overall
- Jason
- 11-20-08
Great
Perfect mix of funny and sad. The audio book is a must buy.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall
- Joseph
- 01-14-09
Love the book, hate the guest readers.
I can't tell you how good this book was to listen to, coming from Artie himself. It came from his heart as he read it as only Artie knew where to put emphasis where it was needed. The minute Gary takes over, the audio begins it's decent into the depths of the uninteresting. Despite this obvious warning not to continue listening, I ignored the signs and set a course to collide head on with Bob "hooked on phonics" Levy. Needless to say, I didn't want to lose my hunger for the rest of this book and I had to stop listening to it almost immediately after Gary ended his chapters. In order for me to stay hooked on this book, I had to actually go out and pick up a book. Something Bob Levy should have done when he was 5 years old instead waiting until he was 32.... Outside of that, Artie's story is horrifically enticing and so riveting to hear, that every page has you on the edge of your seat, waiting to hear for the next tragic event that takes place in Artie's life. His life mimics events of such legendary comics Sam Kinison, Leny Bruce and John Belushi all rolled into one. Through the up's and down's, through sober times and addicted times, Artie's story is sad and unique. I really sympathized with Artie and I applaud the strength he's found to make it this far in life. It was worth the money I paid just to hear Artie tell his story in the first 6 chapters. It really came from his soul. I still rate it a 4 outta 5 just because that's how good the first 6 chapters are! I doubt I or anyone else can say the same for the rest of the audio book. Let's face it, "Beetlejuice" could have done a much better job than Levy. By the way, I never made it to Jim Florentine so I have no idea how good or bad he was. If Artie ever finds it in his heart to go back and finish the audio version of his book, I'd buy it again just to hear him tell it in his own words. As a matter of fact, I'd pay double. Rest in Peace Artie Lange. Your Pop is damm proud of ya!
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- Avery Noguchi
- 05-16-20
Amazing.
Waaaaaaa waaaa what you expect me to say something good about this book!? Buy it and find out for your self.
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- bruce
- 11-04-16
Absolutely awesome
I wasn't sure what to expect this book was great I highly recommend this book
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