-
When Elves Attack
- A Joyous Christmas Greeting from the Criminal Nutbars of the Sunshine State
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 5 hrs and 2 mins
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Publisher's summary
I’m dreaming of a Serge Christmas...
Palm trees with twinkle lights...
Santa’s big belly protruding over a neon Speedo....
It’s ho, ho, ho time in this hilarious and wacky Florida holiday tale, featuring bighearted psychopath Serge Storms and his sidekick, Coleman. Like Santa, Serge knows who’s been naughty and who’s been nice. Few can give with the generosity and creativity of Serge, and as December 24 rolls around, he is filling up the Serge sleigh with an unforgettable bag of presents.
But before that, it’s all a big free-range Christmas office party, where Serge will be spreading his special cheer. And there’s that last-minute go-for-broke spree at the mall (just beware of those attacking elves - they bite). While you’re there, skip the lame photo on Santa’s lap - Serge will give you a lap ride you’ll never forget. As for that addled elf Coleman, there’s nothing like a white Christmas. Let it snow!
So grab a six-pack, spike the eggnog, and hit the dunes on the beach as Serge and Coleman roast some nuts on an open fire and prove that reindeer really do know how to fly!
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Clare Fergusson, St. Alban's new priest, fits like a square peg in the conservative Episcopal parish at Miller's Kill, New York. She is not just a "lady"; she's a tough ex-Army chopper pilot, and nobody's fool. Then a newborn infant left at the church door brings her together with the town's police chief, Russ Van Alstyne, who's also ex-Army and a cynical good shepherd for the stray sheep of his hometown.
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Ice Cold Complex Small Town Police Procedural/Mystery
- By Sara on 12-27-14
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Tilt-a-Whirl
- John Ceepak, Book 1
- By: Chris Grabenstein
- Narrated by: Jeff Woodman
- Length: 8 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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There isn't much fun in the sun when a billionaire real estate tycoon is found murdered on the Tilt-a-Whirl at a seedy seaside amusement park in the otherwise quiet summer tourist town of Sea Haven. John Ceepak, a former MP just back from Iraq, has just joined the Sea Haven police department. The job offer came from an old Army buddy who hoped to give Ceepak at least a summer's worth of rest and relaxation to help him forget the horrors of war. Instead, Ceepak will head up the murder investigation.
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All I can say is WOW!
- By Catherine J. Pondozzi on 08-06-13
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Every Crooked Nanny
- A Callahan Garrity Mystery, Book 1
- By: Mary Kay Andrews
- Narrated by: Hillary Huber
- Length: 9 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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After 10 years of cleaning up the dirt on Atlanta's streets, Callahan Garrity is trading in her badge for a broom and a staff of house cleaners. But, though the uniform is a little different, Callahan soon finds herself right back in the middle of a mystery when a client's pretty, pious 19-year-old nanny is gone...along with the jewelry, silver, and a few rather sensitive real estate documents. Before she knows it, the meticulous Callahan is up to her elbows in a case involving illicit love triangles, crooked business deals, long-distance scams, and a dead body.
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For light entertainment - Also reviews explained
- By Chicago Laura on 07-05-13
By: Mary Kay Andrews
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The Last Policeman
- The Last Policeman, Book 1
- By: Ben H. Winters
- Narrated by: Peter Berkrot
- Length: 8 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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What’s the point in solving murders if we’re all going to die soon, anyway? Detective Hank Palace has faced this question ever since asteroid 2011GV1 hovered into view. There’s no chance left. No hope. Just six precious months until impact. The economy spirals downward while crops rot in the fields. Churches and synagogues are packed. People all over the world are walking off the job—but not Hank Palace. He’s investigating a death by hanging in a city that sees a dozen suicides every week—except this one feels suspicious, and Palace is the only cop who cares.
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Not your regular mystery
- By Victor @ theAudiobookBlog dot com on 09-20-16
By: Ben H. Winters
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Full House
- By: Janet Evanovich
- Narrated by: Lorelei King
- Length: 13 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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From Janet Evanovich, author of the best selling Stephanie Plum bounty hunter series, comes this romantic adventure tale written in the Plum tradition, teeming with fast-paced action, dysfunctional loveable characters, steamy sex, suspense, and lots of laughs.
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It's not Plum but it's a good story.
- By Brenda on 02-08-03
By: Janet Evanovich
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Burn
- By: Sean Doolittle
- Narrated by: Basil Sands
- Length: 9 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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It's the middle of a sweltering late-summer heat wave in Los Angeles. In the nearby mountains, a seasonal wildfire burns out of control. If not for this fire, authorities might never have discovered wreckage of an Alfa Romeo convertible - or the body of the car's driver - in the dense underbrush at the bottom of Topanga Canyon. But when firefighters happen across the crash site while battling the nearby blaze, it's only a matter of time and basic forensics before the apparent accident is upgraded to homicide.
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Narrator
- By Coby on 06-16-21
By: Sean Doolittle
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Nickel Bay Nick
- By: Dean Pitchford
- Narrated by: Dean Pitchford
- Length: 6 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Eleven-year-old Sam Brattle is already having the worst Christmas ever - his dad's bakery is going bankrupt and his mom is spending the holidays with her new family. To make things worse, Nickel Bay Nick, the anonymous Good Samaritan who leaves hundred dollar bills around Nickel Bay at Christmastime, is a no-show, so this year the rest of the town is as miserable as Sam. When he stumbles upon the secret identity of this mysterious do-gooder, Sam is stunned to learn that he might now be his town's only hope.
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Excellent!!
- By Canyon Girl on 03-16-17
By: Dean Pitchford
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Midnight Rambler
- By: James Swain
- Narrated by: Peter Jay Fernandez
- Length: 9 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Years ago, South Florida cop Jack Carpenter beat up a murder suspect named Simon Skell, a dangerous predator with a penchant for playing the Rolling Stones' "Midnight Rambler" as he tortured young women. When Jack lost his temper, he lost his job and marriage, too; so as Skell's early release from prison draws near, the tarnished hero, now a specialist in missing-child cases, sees an opportunity to make things right.
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Not one of James Swain's best
- By Maryfrances on 12-04-07
By: James Swain
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Board Stiff
- An Elliot Lisbon Mystery
- By: Kendel Lynn
- Narrated by: Rachel Frawley
- Length: 9 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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As director of the Ballantyne Foundation on Sea Pine Island, SC, Elliott Lisbon scratches her detective itch by performing discreet inquiries for Foundation donors. Usually nothing serious until Jane Hatting, Ballantyne board chair, is accused of murder. The Ballantyne's reputation tanks, Jane's headed to a jail cell, and Elliott's sexy ex is the new lieutenant in town. Armed with moxie and her Mini Coop, Elliott uncovers a trail of blackmail schemes, gambling debts, illicit affairs, and investment scams. But the closer she gets to the truth, the more treacherous her investigation.
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A strong start to a new cozy mystery series
- By Takeyabue on 02-15-14
By: Kendel Lynn
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This Dark Road to Mercy
- A Novel
- By: Wiley Cash
- Narrated by: Jenna Lamia, Erik Bergmann, Scott Sowers
- Length: 7 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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This Dark Road to Mercy is a tale of love and atonement, blood and vengeance, a story that involves two young sisters, a wayward father, and an enemy determined to see him pay for his sins. When their mother dies unexpectedly, twelve-year-old Easter Quillby and her six-year-old sister, Ruby, are shuffled into the foster care system in Gastonia, North Carolina, a little town not far from the Appalachian Mountains. But just as they settle into their new life, their errant father, Wade, an ex-minor-league baseball player whom they haven't seen in years, suddenly reappears and steals them away in the middle of the night.
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Easter offers chance at redemption; but no spark
- By W Perry Hall on 01-31-14
By: Wiley Cash
What listeners say about When Elves Attack
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Brent
- 11-23-11
Fun book
Very well done!
Great story and very well peformed by the reader.
I would recomend this to anyone who likes Christmas and laughter
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- Bethany Bullington
- 02-13-16
When great writing attacks!
Best narrator ever! Love this series. Never disappoints. I'm always sad when it ends.
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- Todd
- 12-12-11
Another Serge smash
If you haven't heard the Serge tales, this is probably as good as any to start.As the characters are from other books, you might want to listen to Triggerfish Twist, Stingray Shuffle and some others as well. Dorsey's characters are creative, twisted, and colorful as he takes his swipes at Florida's foibles. Mr. Wyman does his usual superb interpretation. Treat yourself to a wild Christmas present in this book.
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4 people found this helpful
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- Amy Spicka
- 09-08-18
a favorite
this story is a fave. all the favorite characters, fun, and a bit of cheer.
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- Stephanie Meyer
- 10-07-20
Nice to remember FL snow...
Fun story. Nice to have FL history and sites mentioned including one of the best places to get the original recipe version of Hooter wings before they franchised. I worked in the Tampa one where we made the sauce for the other locations- Clearwater was the original like the story said. And yes seeing snow in FL does make any adult act like a kid when you see it on your FL yard. Good story and great ending.
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- James
- 10-01-12
Serge and Coleman Again
Where does When Elves Attack rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?
Not my favorite of the Serge series, but has it's moments. Short, 4 discs, get the impression that the author's publisher ordered him to write a short holiday themed story.
What was the most interesting aspect of this story? The least interesting?
The story line was not as good as the longer books in the series.
What about Oliver Wyman’s performance did you like?
I like the different voices for the different characters.
Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?
Funny, funny, chapter when Jim explains to Serge the secret to a happy marriage.
Any additional comments?
I am a huge Tim Dorsey fan. Don't start with this book, it will help to know the character from the early books in the series. This is book 14.
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- deena
- 06-25-22
New favorite Christmas Story!!
Tim Dorsey is a fun, witty, hilarious writer. HE is the reason I listen to Audible.
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- Skoutariotis
- 12-07-16
Another hilarious story!
This will keep you rolling!
Narrator is awesome!
I love this series, can hardly wait for next book!
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2 people found this helpful
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- Jason
- 03-27-12
Serge's voice!! Ugh.
Would you listen to When Elves Attack again? Why?
I love Tim Dorsey and have read all his novels. This is the first one I listened to as an audio book as I commute to a different state during the week now.
Great crazy story as always-- we need alternative holiday books! The only thing I didn't like was Serge's voice. Sure he's manic and bipolar and whatever. BUt he is also a really large, strong, studly guy, and shouldn't have a weasely voice. He sounded more like bob newhart on speed than the Serge I had in my mind.
Excellent otherwise..
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- Juan
- 11-15-11
A little Short but not bad
The book is funny but it reads like a few extra chapters from atomic lobsters. Very short and not too much of a story, still funny. He is no Christopher Moore but when you have nothing else it’s something that will keep you entertained.
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