Episode 14! Ole in! The world is on fire, but never fear--the sirens are ringing and we're riding in, in our special suits. Today, on a spicy edition of The TTSP, Will drives a discussion on a Manchester United team that is hopelessly trying to break free of an eternity of water treading. Or are they? It's jam packed with surprises and our most moronic, albeit still somewhat substantive show yet. Woo!

We start with a new segment, whose name we'll leave as a present for those who tune in, where we discuss all sorts of ranging topics. From Koeman's dismissal and Gladbach's 5-0 victory over Bayern, to David Alaba and Manuel Locatelli, it's a news reporting bonanza up in here.

Following the bit, the fellas reveal their second momentous occasion of the evening--and boy is it momentous.

As Will proceeds to take the reigns, he begins the chat by commending Liverpool. It's short and sweet, and without much need for elaboration, as he soon sidesteps quickly to the elephant in the room. We must analyze United's baffling performances, on the field.

There's a reminder of the match's main events, including Ronaldo's awesome gut-punt (very nice Cris!), and some general commentary regarding the symbolism of each key event. This segues into some details revolving United's structural problems, an ineptitude when it comes to the fundamentals, an utterly illogical recruitment strategy, and more. Martin hammers home the notion that United are amidst an identity crisis, full of tactical and directional uncertainty. They rip blankets, don't curve their pressing runs, and leave only 2 miserable soldiers in their largest, most vulnerable spaces.

In the second half (or third third, I suppose), Will leads as the lads take on the bigger questions. Why is Ole still here? What do the Glazers want? Is there anything shared between the desires of the fans and the owners? What are Ole's tactics? Why did he get here in the first place? Is he an impostor or actually completely ideal?

There's some talk on his good qualities, though it only lasts momentarily, before Martin exposes a curated list of total incongruencies within the United squad. Sancho works when he has overlapping wingbacks. Wan Bissaka works when you don't want them. Time and time again, this team reminds us of what it means to be a walking contradiction. Do they want to possess? Do they want to counter? Do they want to press? Do they want to hunker down? Do they want a team for the future? Do they want a team for now?

As the soul searching comes to a temporary pause, Will closes with the argument that perhaps this is exactly what United wants. And while it sounds like almost an insult .. here us out, because maybe it is.

PART TWO coming soon.

Join us to hear our thoughts on all these items, and more--including a suspiciously robbed PSG player, Burtis Clones getting his ass kicked for no reason, a Liverpool fan that just can't stop watching United, a Pogbaian tragedy, some expected van Gaal and Mourinho juxtapositions, a montage of Touchline Theory best obscure references, Martin's abysmal Fabian Delph impression, Will's formidable Dust-Up prospects, and (speaking of) our brand new, esteemed sponsor: Hooligang!

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