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Key Message: Reflect on what helps and what harms, its a simple but powerful technquie that will make you pause before taking action.

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As a principle, what we want you to do is ask the magic question, does it help or harm? For this to be an effective strategy you have to ask the question when things are calm, when you have the ability to see clearly what helps what doesn’t, if you ask it in the middle of an emotional storm, it will be tough to differentiate out the two, what harms in the long term might feel helpful in the short term as a way of coping with life challenges. This is what we call the action appraisal, ask the questions with curiosity and without judgement.

Post Mortem: Did it help or harm? Ask this question in the context of recent struggles as a post mortem to reflect on past actions.
Ante Mortem: Will this help or harm? Ask this question in the context of future struggles with “what if” scenarios in mind, so that you can plan out your course.

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