Impulsively threatening the relationship when we get triggered, angry, or unable to work through repeating relationship conflicts is an ineffective way of attempting to get our partner to change. It creates insecurity, dysregulation and fear, rather than creating the feelings of safety and security that’s needed to work through difficult relationship challenges together.

Today we discuss the importance of taking more skilled self responsibility in relationships, particularly when it comes to making threats or issuing ultimatums, including effective communication, mutual understanding, and adult behavior in addressing conflicts. In this episode we offer healthier and more constructive alternatives to addressing conflict and ideas on how to deal with a partner who keeps impulsively threatening the relationship.

(00:00) Introduction and definition of threatening the partnership

(02:16) Impact of threats on conversations and relationships

(04:28) Importance of creating safety rather than triggering threat responses

(06:39) Personal example of threatening language and its impact

(15:00) Importance of showing up as an adult during conflicts

(17:19) Advice for those who frequently threaten relationships

(19:35) Taking responsibility and protecting each other in relationships

(22:22) Closing thoughts on working through connection issues together

Feel free to reach out with your thoughts, experiences, and topics you want to hear about. We love hearing from our listeners!

Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, or on your favorite podcast platform.

Resources Mentioned:

• Our Top 10 Relationship Agreements
• Stan Tatkin - The PACT Institute

Get in Touch:

• The Art Of We Website
• The Art of We Instagram
• Integrative Psychiatry Institute: Psychedelic Therapy Training

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