Diary of a Grocery Cart - From its initial journey to a Piggly Wiggly in Penopshaw, Indiana to its final days lost in the swamp behind the store, we hear the daily musings of a very eager and earnest grocery cart.

How to Write Your Own Proverbs - Most people hold a deep desire to write their own proverbs. Many also have no idea what they actually are. Your helpful and knowledgeable narrator will illuminate you on every aspect of the amazing world of proverbs, and even a bit more.

Summer of Sam I Am - A darker and scarier take on a childhood classic: Green Eggs and Ham filtered through the summer of the serial killer Son of Sam.

Random Quotes on Fame and Nostalgia from the Cereal Monsters - It has been a very long time since Count Chocula, Frankenberry, and Boo-Berry were at the height of their fame. Now in their golden years, they have the time and perspective to reflect on this period of their lives. How has fame and nostalgia affected the cereal monsters? They reveal the answers in their own well-considered words.

Living The American Dream - A rare example of truth being stranger than fiction - and possibly funnier. This collection of quick tales are my true brushes with famous people. And isn't that really the American dream?

A Life Reviewed: A Collection of Blurbs - What if your life was held under the scrutiny of a series of reviewers? Then what if those reviews were reduced to a bunch of blurbs? Well here is the author's life reviewed in this highly unlikely and silly scenario.

Walt Whitman's Guide to Cooking for Bachelors - The great venerable poet, Walt Whitman, was a consummate bachelor. He also had a flair for rustling up some hearty grub. Mr. Whitman offers up his favorite cooking tips for all you modern-day bachelors. In verse, too!

The Calls of Cthulu - H.P. Lovecraft's Cthulu, an Elder God of the Damned, may be able to strike absolute terror in those who behold his terrible visage, but when it comes to operating a simple telephone, the Elder God finds life to be a bit more complicated.