In this deeply practical and insightful episode, James and Lisa unpack a powerful diagnostic tool from GiANT called the Peace Index. This framework helps individuals—and couples—measure five key areas that influence internal wellbeing: purpose, place, provision, personal health, and people. With honest reflection, engaging stories, and easy-to-use language, this episode equips you to recognize what’s really going on beneath the surface and take intentional steps toward renewed peace in your life and marriage.

Whether you're feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or just want to grow more aware together, this episode offers clarity, connection, and tangible next steps.

Resources Mentioned in This Episode:

• The Peace Index Visual Tool (by GiANT)
• Marriage Reboot Coaching with James & Lisa
• Book: The Purpose Formula by Jessica Rimmer

Related Episodes:

• Ep 64 – The Five Voices: Unlocking Better Communication in Marriage
• Ep 19 – The Tension Is Real: Money Stress in Marriage
• Ep 7 – Know Yourself to Lead Yourself
• Ep 21 – The Power of a Pro-Marriage Collective

Connect with Us:

• Instagram: @artofspousing
• Website: www.liveleadlast.com

Subscribe & Review:

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review. Your feedback helps us reach more couples seeking to build strong, resilient marriages.

DISCLAIMER:

Show Notes contain affiliate links. If you click and make a purchase, we may earn a small commission. Thanks for supporting the work that helps us keep the mics on!

In this heart-opening episode, James and Lisa share exciting updates—including the relaunch of the Live Lead Last podcast—and how launching something new inevitably impacts marriage. They introduce the Change Equation, a powerful visual tool from GiANT that explains why real change happens—or doesn’t—in relationships. Through vulnerable personal stories and practical insights, they walk you through how to overcome resistance together using vision, first steps, and emotional clarity. If your marriage feels stuck or off-track, this episode will help you reconnect and move forward with purpose.

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

• Marriage Reboot Coaching
• Live Lead Last Podcast (Launching June 4)
• Free Five Voices Assessment
• Voices 25 Conference – Oklahoma City
• Change Equation Visual Tool

Related Episodes:

• Ep 64 – The Five Voices: Unlocking Better Communication in Marriage
• Ep 59 – Navigating the In-Between Seasons of Marriage!
• Ep 29 – Us in Mind: How Changing Your Thoughts Can Change Your Marriage With Ted Lowe
• Ep 7 – The Gap Between Here and There

Connect with Us:

• Instagram: @artofspousing
• Website: www.artofspousing.com

Subscribe & Review:

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review. Your feedback helps us reach more couples seeking to build strong, resilient marriages.

DISCLAIMER:

Show Notes contain affiliate links. If you click and make a purchase, we may earn a small commission—thank you for supporting the mission of Art of Spousing!

Commitment in marriage is so much deeper than just staying under the same roof. In this episode of The Art of Spousing, James and Lisa Duvall explore what it really means to build a lifelong marriage rooted in intentional, daily choices. They unpack the four layers of commitment—personal, moral, spiritual, and structural—and share how couples can move from surviving to thriving, even when seasons get tough. You'll also hear real stories, biblical encouragement, and practical tools you can start using today to strengthen your "we still do."

Whether you're newlyweds or seasoned partners, this conversation will help you cultivate a marriage that lasts — and inspires.

Resources Mentioned in This Episode:

• Marriage Reboot Coaching Experience — 3 months of intensive coaching designed to help you move from surviving to thriving FREE 30-minute Discovery Call — Schedule with James and Lisa here

Related Episodes:

• Four Choices to a Masterpiece Marriage with Don and Joy Bray
• How to Strengthen Your Marriage by Building on Common Ground
• Practising the Art of Spousing
• The Gap Between Here and There

(Find these episodes wherever you listen to The Art of Spousing!)

Connect with Us:

• 📸 Instagram: @artofspousing
• 🌐 Website: www.artofspousing.com

We love hearing from you! DM us your thoughts or questions — and if today's episode encouraged you, please share it with someone who needs it.

Subscribe & Review:

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review! Your feedback helps us reach more couples who are ready to build strong, resilient, Christ-centered marriages.

DISCLAIMER: Some show notes contain affiliate links. If you click and make a purchase, we may earn a small commission — at no extra cost to you. It helps us keep bringing you free content to strengthen your marriage!

In this heartwarming and practical episode of Art of Spousing, James and Lisa break down one of the most transformative tools for marriage communication: The Communication Code. Ever found yourself trying to be helpful, only to realize your spouse needed something entirely different? This episode will help you stop the cycle of misfires and start connecting more deeply.

You’ll learn how to use five powerful communication codes—Celebrate, Care, Clarify, Collaborate, and Critique—to improve emotional safety, reduce frustration, and build deeper intimacy. Packed with relatable stories (including a hilarious miscommunication over “small smart choices”) and powerful insights, this episode equips couples to decode not just what’s being said—but how it’s meant to be received.

Whether you're a problem-solver or a feeler, a planner or a processor, this episode will help you and your spouse communicate with greater grace, clarity, and unity.

Resources Mentioned in This Episode:

• Free Communication Code Assessment
  Understand your top two default communication styles—and how they impact your marriage.
• Free The Five Voices Assessment
  Learn your leadership voice and how it affects how you give and receive communication.
• Know Yourself to Lead Yourself Tool
  Understand how your tendencies shape your relational patterns.
• Provisional Plan Promise Tool
  Use this tool to reduce planning misfires and clarify whether you’re brainstorming, planning, or committing.
• Marriage Reboot Coaching
  A 3-month intentional journey for couples seeking breakthrough, clarity, and renewed connection. artofspousing.com/coaching or schedule a Discovery Call with James and Lisa,

Related Episodes:

• Practising the Art of Spousing
• Love: Defining the Three Essentials
• The Gap Between the Event and the Response
• Building on Common Ground

Connect with Us:

• Instagram: @artofspousing
• Website: www.artofspousing.com

Subscribe & Review:

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave us a review. Your encouragement helps us reach more couples who are ready to build intentional, Christ-centered marriages.

Let’s face it—married life can be a wild ride. Between never-ending to-do lists, navigating seasons of grief, and the everyday chaos of family life, it’s easy to lose sight of the fun. But what if we told you that learning to laugh together might just be one of the most powerful tools you have to build connection, reduce stress, and keep your love vibrant?

In this episode, we explore why humor isn’t just a “nice-to-have” in marriage—it’s essential. We’ll unpack the four types of humor, dive into what science and Scripture say about laughter, and share stories (like Lisa’s “this is what I do” southern cooking moment and James’ infamous floating shelf fail) that show how humor can bond us… or blow up in our face. We also talk about what not to joke about, how timing and tone matter, and how to bring more intentional joy into your relationship—without crossing emotional lines.

Whether your marriage feels light and playful or a little dried up like that overcooked kielbasa (you’ll get it when you listen), this episode will inspire you to embrace laughter as a pathway to intimacy.

Key Takeaways

• Laughter builds connection and reduces stress—it literally rewires your brain with bonding hormones like oxytocin.
• Know your humor style—and your spouse’s. Healthy humor (like affiliative and self-enhancing) draws you closer; aggressive or self-defeating humor can harm connection.
• Create “callbacks” or inside jokes. They build emotional intimacy and give you a shared language of joy.
• Tone and timing are everything. A well-placed joke can heal, but the wrong moment can wound.
• Honor your spouse’s sensitivities. Don’t joke to make a point. Be sensitive and lighthearted—it's not either/or.
• Don't just hope for fun—plan it. Schedule laughter through games, funny shows, silly traditions, or storytelling.

Resources Mentioned in This Episode

• Marriage Reboot – Our two-day coaching intensive plus 3 months of intentional follow-up to help couples move from surviving to thriving. Learn more at artofspousing.com/coaching
• Schedule a a Marriage Reboot Discovery Call
• Tools Referenced:
  • Know Yourself to Lead Yourself – understanding your humor style and voice weapon systems
  • 5 Voices – using humor in ways that align with your personality
  • Checkpoints – use humor to shift tension, but with permission

🎧 Related Episodes

• The 5 Voices: Unlocking Better Communication in Marriage
• Navigating Three Types of Tension in Marriage
• Me Awareness and We Awareness

📲 Connect with Us

• Instagram: @artofspousing
• Website: www.artofspousing.com
• Join the Marriage Practice Email: Text AOS to 66866 for weekly encouragement and tools

💬 Subscribe & Review

If you enjoyed this episode, we’d love it if you subscribed, left a review, and shared it with another couple who needs a little more laughter in their lives. Your support helps us reach more couples who are ready to build a strong, Christ-centered, joy-filled marriage.

And remember—if you're in a tough season, and laughter feels far off, there is hope. Don’t just survive—start practicing the art of spousing today. 💛🎙️

Decision-making is a daily reality in marriage—sometimes small (what’s for dinner?) and sometimes huge (where do we live?). But if we’re not intentional, making decisions together can turn into a battleground or a passive-aggressive standoff.

In this episode, we explore how to make decisions as a team, even when you and your spouse see things differently. We’ll walk through practical tools to navigate different decision-making styles, how to build a bridge between future-oriented and present-oriented spouses, and how to seek unity even when you disagree. You’ll also hear some of our personal stories (including Lisa’s hilarious “no snakes or orange shag carpet” church move requirements) and biblical wisdom to help you grow in this crucial area of marriage.

Key Takeaways:
✅ Biblical unity isn’t about thinking alike—it’s about thinking together.
✅ Identify your decision-making style and learn how to complement each other.
✅ Build a bridge between your perspectives instead of dragging your spouse across the gap.
✅ When you don’t see eye to eye, focus on listening, compromise, and trust.
✅ Who gets the final say? We unpack biblical leadership and servant-hearted decision-making.

By the end of this episode, you’ll have practical strategies to make decisions together in a way that strengthens—not stresses—your marriage.

Resources Mentioned in This Episode:

• FREE Five Voices Assessment (to identify if you are more future- or present-oriented) –
• Marriage Reboot – A two-day coaching experience to bring clarity and unity to your marriage. Learn More Here

Related Episodes:

🎧 The Five Voices: Unlocking Better Communication in Marriage
🎧 Building Momentum in Marriage: The Flywheel Effect
🎧 Conflict: The Opportunity for Unity

Connect with Us:

📸 Instagram: @artofspousing
🌐 Website: www.artofspousing.com

💌 Join our weekly Marriage Practice email for tools & encouragement: Text AOS to 66866

Subscribe & Review:

If you enjoyed this episode, we’d love for you to subscribe and leave a review! Your support helps us reach more couples who want to build strong, thriving marriages.

Know a couple who could use this episode? Share it with them! 💛

Until next time—keep practicing the art of spousing! 🎙️💍

Ever feel like you and your spouse are speaking two different languages? In this episode, we dive into The Five Voices—a powerful tool that helps you understand your unique communication style and how it interacts with your spouse’s. When you recognize your voice and your spouse’s, you can stop having the same frustrating conversations and start truly understanding each other.

This episode will help you:
✅ Identify your Foundational Voice (and your spouse’s!)
✅ Understand why some conversations feel like a constant battle
✅ Learn practical ways to use your voice to build unity instead of conflict

If you’ve ever wished for a user manual on marriage communication, this is it! Tune in, take the Five Voices Assessment (link below), and start speaking each other’s language.

Resources Mentioned in This Episode:

• Take the Free Five Voices Assessment
• Marriage Reboot: One-on-One Coaching with James & Lisa
• Sign up for The Weekly Practice Email - Text AOS to 66866

Related Episodes:

🎧 Building Momentum in Marriage: The Flywheel Effect
🎧 Breaking Through Communication Roadblocks
🎧 Unleashing the Power of Grace: Strengthen Your Marriage Through Humility

Connect with Us:

• 📷 Instagram: @artofspousing
• 🌐 Website: www.artofspousing.com

Subscribe & Review:

If this episode helped you, we’d love for you to subscribe and leave a review! Your feedback helps more couples build strong, resilient marriages. And if you found this conversation valuable, share it with a friend who could use these insights too! ❤️

Until next time, remember: A better me = A better we. 💙

This week, James and Lisa dive into a topic that affects every marriage: communication roadblocks. Whether you're struggling with distractions, misunderstandings, or emotional reactions, today’s episode is packed with practical tools and biblical wisdom to help you break through barriers and build a deeper connection with your spouse.

Episode Highlights

1. Why Communication is Foundational
   • Communication is the heartbeat of a healthy marriage, influencing every other area of your relationship.
   • Poor communication can lead to frustration, disconnection, and unresolved conflict—but with intentionality, you can transform it.
2. 5 Common Communication Roadblocks & How to Overcome Them
   • Distracted Listening
     • Problem: One or both spouses aren't fully present.
     • Fix: Use the "Five Gears" framework to shift into the right gear for meaningful connection. Spend at least 10 minutes daily in “Gear 2” with no distractions.
     • Biblical Insight: James 1:19—“Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.”
   • Assumptions & Misunderstandings
     • Problem: Believing you're a mind reader, leading to miscommunication.
     • Fix: Use the “Impact and Intent” tool and avoid J.A.D.E. (Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain).
     • Pro Tip: Practice the CLEAR Model—Clarify, Listen, Empathize, Ask, Respond.
   • Emotional Escalation
     • Problem: Letting emotions like anger or contempt take over.
     • Fix: Manage the pause with E+R=O (Event + Response = Outcome). Respond with gentleness instead of reacting emotionally.
     • Biblical Insight: Proverbs 15:1—“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
   • Avoiding or Controlling Conflict
     • Problem: Stonewalling or dominating discussions.
     • Fix: Name your feelings and set time to revisit the conversation if overwhelmed. Use the Platinum Rule: Treat your spouse how they want to be treated.
     • Biblical Insight: Romans 12:18—“As far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”
   • Lack of Appreciation and Balance
     • Problem: Conversations focus only on critiques.
     • Fix: Adopt a 5:1 gratitude-to-critique ratio. Use tools like the Enneagram to foster empathy and celebrate your spouse’s strengths.
     • Biblical Insight: 1 Thessalonians 5:11—“Encourage one another and build each other up.”
3. Practical Takeaways
   • Dedicate 10 minutes daily for distraction-free connection in “Gear 2.”
   • Share five specific affirmations with your spouse this week.
   • Tackle only one issue at a time during tough conversations.

Resources & Recommendations

• Weekly Practise: Get tools and encouragement straight to your inbox! Text AOS to 66866 to sign up.

• Episode Throwback:
  • Shifting Gears for Communication
  • Enneagram: The Secret to Understanding Your Marriage with Jeff and Beth McCord
  • More Than Your Number with Beth and Jeff McCord
    
    

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Work With Us:

• Marriage Reboot Discovery Call

Connect With Us:

• Send Questions and Comments to: hello@artofspousing.com
• Website: artofspousing.com
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• IG: @artofspousing
• James IG: @thejamesduvall
• Lisa IG: @lisaduvall