Episode Summary

I recently attended a film festival in St Petersburg, FL and saw the film Every Seven by married couple Caitlin Morris and Alex Hanno. The film questions the way marriage is structured and considers an interesting alternative.

After the showing, I invited them to be on the podcast and they said yes! Join us for a thought-provoking conversation about what marriage is, what it isn't and what it could be!

Connect with Alex and Caitlin

Watch Every Seven - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9uDaL78JXbo&t=92s

Caitlin's IG - https://www.instagram.com/sirromcc/

Alex's IG - https://www.instagram.com/alexanderhanno/

Interested in working with me to improve your own relationship and intimacy? Request a free Intimacy Breakthrough Call! --> https://HeatherShannon.co/video-page

Are you a woman or enby in an ethically non-monogamous relationship and feel like your partner is gung-ho about it and you're struggling? Maybe you're feeling anxious and insecure or your nervous system has gotten hijacked entirely by this new relationship structure. Maybe part of you is curious and wonders what could be in it for you, but you need an emotional connection before you become interested in anyone else. And maybe you're neurodivergent and experience "rejection sensitive dysphoria" where you easily feel like you're not enough. If any of this resonates--reach out about my new "Secure Connections" group program. Shoot me an email at Hello@HeatherShannon.co. Can't wait to talk!

Feeling stuck with sex? Request a free Intimacy Breakthrough Call with Heather! --> Intimacy Breakthrough Session Booking Link

Join us for a special episode with Heather's clients! Lauren and Megan "graduated" from Heather's Intimacy Infusion coaching program and they spill the tea on what it was like going from feeling stuck and frustrated to feeling excited, empowered and connected.

Pre-Order Your Copy of Stefanie's Book Now! https://stefanieirisweiss.com/

Join Heather and our guest, astrologer & sexologist Stefanie Iris Weiss, for this fun episode all about how your (and your partner's) zodiac signs influence your approach to sex.

Download the Ask A Sex Therapist app and grab a free seat in Heather's Intimacy Audit mini course! https://apps.apple.com/gr/app/ask-a-sex-therapist/id6476728826

Learn more about coaching with Heather and request your free Intimacy Breakthrough Call! https://HeatherShannon.co/video-page

Announcements

1. New “ENM Support Squad” Group Coaching! Register here 👉 https://heather-shannon.mykajabi.com/store
2. Looking for a podcast intern and also accepting applications for counseling interns! Email Hello@HeatherShannon.co
3. Check out the new Ask A Sex Therapist app and get free access to The Intimacy Audit mini course while you’re at it! https://apps.apple.com/us/app/ask-a-sex-therapist/id6476728826

Summary

Heather tackles listener questions in this episode:

1. How to initiate a conversation with a spouse about concerns regarding their use of porn.
2. How much of a pregnancy risk is there when a condom rips during sex?
3. How do sex toys influence men's concept of sexuality?
4. It seems like sex educator and coaches on social media encourage semen retention--why would this be & is it advisable?

Themes Addressed

sex therapist, ethically non-monogamous, support group, porn use, sexual behaviors, desensitization, neural pathways, behavior change, presence, awareness, sexual communication, sexual repertoire, sex addiction, high libido, existential kink

Join my Intro to Internal Family Systems (IFS) workshop https://shorturl.at/eS5rL this Wednesday for the chance to master your emotions, improve your relationships and get hot seat coaching with me!

In this episode, me and Todd Baratz (@YourDiagnonsense on IG) have a very REAL discussion on romantic relationships--the good, the bad and the ugly!

And be sure to check out his new--and very personal--book "How To Love Someone Without Losing Your Mind!" which is out in stores now!

Todd's Book - https://amzn.to/4euSJmp

Todd's IG - https://www.instagram.com/yourdiagnonsense/

🫂Are you non-monogamous or exploring non-monogamy? If so, join Heather's ENM Support Squad Wednesdays at 4pm Eastern starting on July 24th. You can register here --> https://www.eventbrite.com/e/922588806957?aff=oddtdtcreator

🧑‍🎓We are looking for a podcast intern (must be 18+)! Email hello@heathershannon.co if you're interested.

📱Download Heather's new iOS app here: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/heather-shannon-therapist/id6476728826

ABOUT THE EPISODE

Hey, lovely listeners! Today we’re tackling some deeply interesting listener questions about vaginismus, guilty pleasures, and sexual fantasies. Trust me, you don't want to miss this one--my cat even makes an appearance! 🌟🐾

We're chatting about practical strategies for managing vaginismus, letting go of guilt when it comes to pleasure, and exploring when sexual fantasies are helpful and when they're actually preventing connecting with your real life partner. Whether you're on the road or walking your dog, tune in for some enlightening and heartfelt advice. 💫

What You'll Learn:

🌬️ The importance of natural breathing and pelvic floor relaxation.

🌸 Navigating the sensitive topic of vaginismus and its emotional impact.

💭 What to do when you're attracted to your partner in your mind, but not in practice.

🤔 The importance of feeling emotionally safe when it comes to sex.

🪞 The beauty of letting go of shame and fully enjoying your pleasures.

Click play and let's make this episode of "Ask A Sex Therapist" a highlight of your week! 🎧❤️

00:00 Announcements including courses and community forum.

06:14 Difficulty achieving pleasure and anxiety over intercourse.

09:58 Options for treatment for vaginismus and resources.

11:58 Males have diverse sexual preferences and beliefs.

15:43 "Existential Kink" explores embracing and transforming shame.

19:31 Understanding and supporting partner with erectile dysfunction.

22:29 Emotional safety is crucial for libido.

24:28 Difficulty with sex might stem from emotions.

27:32 Free dirty talk guide for podcast listeners.

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GET THE INTIMACY AUDIT FREE MINI COURSE (discover what’s blocking YOUR sex life!)

https://heather-shannon.mykajabi.com/intimacyaudit

APPLY FOR HEATHER’S INTIMACY INFUSION PROGRAM

https://HeatherShannon.co/video-page

HEATHER’S WEBSITE

https://HeatherShannon.co

ASK A SEX THERAPIST INSTAGRAM

https://instagram.com/askasextherapist (Join the podcast’s broadcast channel!)

HEATHER’S INSTAGRAM (new!)

https://instagram.com/SexTherapistHeather

YOUTUBE CHANNEL & VIDEO VERSION OF PODCAST

https://youtube.com/@askasexcoach

SIMILAR EPISODES

• 071: The Top 5 Sex Blockers - https://pod.fo/e/22a9d3
• 079 Listener Q & A - https://pod.fo/e/23dfe4

THEMES EXPLORED

sex therapy, libido, masturbation, sexual intimacy, erectile dysfunction, vaginismus, endometriosis, internal family systems, podcasting course, sexual censorship, non-monogamy, sex education, sexual anxiety, clitoral orgasm, dilator therapy, pelvic floor physical therapy, sexual pleasure, relationship intimacy, fantasy during sex, sexual arousal, shame and stigma, attachment...

Loved this episode? Leave us a review and rating here. https://podfollow.com/AskASexTherapist

*****

Ever thought about being in a throuple? Regardless of whether it's for you, I bet you're curious about this unique relationship structure!

Tune in with Heather's guests, Dr. Rachael Meir and her partners Aaron and Casey for a truly unique episode.

Get answers to your questions like:

• Is sex always a threesome?
• What's the biggest perk of being in a 3-person relationship?
• How do they handle living in a world made for 2-person relationsihps?
• Is doing household chores really easier with 3 people?

Plus, find out what monogamous people can learn from polyamorous relationships!

*****

WORK WITH HEATHER:

Apply for a free Intimacy Breakthrough Call to learn about Heather’s coaching services.

LET’S CONNECT! FIND HEATHER HERE ⤵️:

Heather’s Website - https://HeatherShannon.co

@AskASexTherapist Instagram

Heather’s YouTube - Check out the video version of this podcast & more! - https://www.youtube.com/@AskASexCoach

SIMILAR EPISODE

Episode 13 - Is monogamy realistic? https://pod.fo/e/166e5e

CONNECT WITH OUR GUESTS!

@TriadAndTrue TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@triadandtrue?lang=en

@TriadAndTrue IG - https://www.instagram.com/triadandtrue/?hl=en

Dr. Rachael Meir Website - https://www.drrachaelmeir.com/

🎧 Hey there, curious minds! Are you wondering if you're simply blessed with a high libido or if you have a sex or porn addiction? Or maybe you've been wondering if your partner's porn behavior is healthy. Today, I unpack the differences between having a healthy, high sex drive and what it looks like when things turn into a compulsion.

I'll also sprinkle in some tips on how to balance that fiery drive without letting it take over your life. This is one episode will finally offer you clarity on what is problematic and what is simply hot and spicy. 🌶️

Tune in to Discover:

- The difference between a high libido and sex addiction

- How to identify if sexual behaviors are interfering with your life

- The role of shame and stigma in compulsive behaviors

- The benefits of self-acceptance and open communication

- Treatment options and resources for those who need it

Time Stamps:

00:00 Intro to podcast and today's topic

04:40 Physical health and mental well-being affect sex drive.

08:54 Understanding sexual needs, communication, and signs of addiction.

11:43 Embracing mindfulness, and a healthy lifestyle.

15:09 Moderate porn consumption can enhance sexuality.

19:02 Using sex or masturbation as stress relief.

20:40 Sex and love addicts Anonymous's dating rule.

24:11 Rehab center options and resources for addiction.

Episode Links:

Heather's Website - https://HeatherShannon.co Book a free Intimacy Breakthrough Call, grab Heather's freebies, check out podcast transcripts and more!

Podcast Instagram - https://instagram.com/AskASexTherapist Join the broadcast channel to vote on podcast topics!

Leave a voicemail question for our next Listner Q & A episode or give podcast feedback for Heather - https://HeatherShannon.co/podcast

Submit an anonymous sex question for our next Listener Q & A episode - https://heathershannon.co/ask-a-sex-question/

Themes and Keywords We Explore

sex addiction, high sex drive, compulsive sexual behavior, sex therapy, porn addiction, certified sex therapist, AASECT, out of control sexual behavior, internal family systems, mindfulness, impulsivity, masturbation, sexual stigma, dopamine, risky behavior, emotional dysregulation, 12-step groups, SMART recovery, sex therapists, rehab centers, sexual validation.