Back to the Barre  By  cover art

Back to the Barre

By: Christi Lukasiak & Kelly Hyland
  • Summary

  • OG Dance Moms Christi (@christilukasiak) & Kelly (@kellylhyland) take us back to the barre with this weekly podcast, recapping Dance Moms episodes and sharing never-before-heard behind the scenes stories.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    2022
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Episodes
  • Designer Imposter Dog
    Jun 24 2024

    "What do we do with [Broadway Baby]? Put a Big Mac inside of her!" jokes Kelly as after many months of waiting Abby finally is reunited with Broadway Baby's stuffed corpse on "The Dancing Dead". But as Christi and Kelly point out, it's pretty obvious that Broadway Baby got a bit more than a facelift at the taxidermist. While the show notes Baby has a new set of eyes, the fur looks remarkable whiter than when Baby was alive! If the fur isn't even Baby's... could you even call this Broadway Baby at all? Abby decides Baby needs a proper-Abby sanctioned tribute dance and bestows Nia with her first solo in many months, though with choreography that has Nia literally bouncing around on her butt it isn't exactly the comeback Holly hoped for.


    Kelly makes her contractually mandated return this week as she "invites" the moms over to her house, with the exception of Melissa who is intentionally left out over her most recent actions over the break. While the moms can't convince Kelly to bring her kids back yet, she does "agree" to join the team on their trip to Xpression Dance Competition in Florida. Of course this doesn't sit well with Abby, who decides the best course of action is to block Kelly from sitting down during the show. Kelly responds in-kind by standing next to Abby for four hours, a full on Mexican standoff.


    Elsewhere Kristie Ray begins to prep for Raising Asia and starts to stir the pot as best she can, even though as far as the other moms can tell she has no reason to do so!


    Quotes

    • “I swear to god I thought that was Abby. Just for a second I looked, did you see me get really scared? Oh my god I would die. Well they said she wasn't here not long ago. And you're like, 'Today?!' No not today.'” (4:53-5:02 | Christi & Kelly)
    • “I say, 'I'm on the verge of needing a drink.' We're always on the verge of needing a drink. At this point I'm on the verge of needing it intravenous! Hey I got a port!'” (26:07-26:19 | Christi & Kelly)
    • “They bring in broadway baby. That has new fur! That is not that baby's fur. No. I think it's like when someone switches a baby at the hospital, someone switched that dead dog!" (34:30-34:41 | Christi & Kelly)
    • “If you ever want to see Kelly dance just AI her, cause she can't dance if there isn't choreography." (1:04:13-1:04:17 | Christi)


    Links

    Subscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w


    Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre


    Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=


    Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510


    Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak


    Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland


    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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    1 hr and 17 mins
  • Boil on the Butt of Humanity
    Jun 17 2024

    "Crabapples? I wonder how many things we can say that's not Candy Apples? We really go for it." observes Christi as the second half of "Clash of the Dance Moms" boils down to quite a lot of name calling and not much else. This week the ALDC is competing at Believe National Talent Competition in Lancaster, PA with Payton and Leslie filling in for the Hylands. Leslie is gunning for a permanent position, dragging Kelly's name through the mud every chance she gets and keeps reminding eveyroen to imagine a world in which she's a permanent ALDC fixture. While the insults to Kelly are music to Abby's ears, the rest of the ALDC unsurprisingly feels different as the only thing Payton brings to the table is sass, and they already don't need more of that! Even Abby's patiences gets tested by Payton's when the young dancer is revealed to be unprepared with her costuming, something Kelly and her girls rarely ever dropped the ball on.


    Anthony and Cathy continue to bicker over in the Candy Apples camp. Anthony threatens to leave if Cathy doesn't give him his space, he wants to insult her dancers as he sees fit. The show brings out Anthony's mother to admonish all those who would insult her son for his actions, expertly ignoring how vitriolic he is to everyone else. If there's one thing in Season 3 that continues to be annoying above all else it's Anthony being cruel and suffering no consequences for it!


    Tune-in to find out which fight this week was A LOT more tense in-person.


    Quotes

    • “I just had another fraternity check-in next door. That's crazy. I don't understand why boys like pink houses. I don't know either. I'm telling you they're looking for Dance Mom Christi. They're gonna have to keep looking cause I'm not hanging out with fraternity boys. That sound illegal on a lot of levels.” (1:21-1:38 | Christi & Kelly)
    • “I love that I'm not in this episode. I just get to listen to you be the bitch this whole time!” (21:42-21:46 | Kelly)
    • “Anthony warns Cathy that he can just leave and that half of her team would follow him if he did. I highly doubt that they would leave a TV show to follow you." (27:27-27:36 | Kelly)
    • “No the competition is not fixed, but every judge that's rating the kids liked our kids because they liked them on Dance Moms. So was it fixed? No. Was it fair? No!" (42:28-42:42 | Christi)


    Links

    Subscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w


    Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre


    Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=


    Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510


    Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak


    Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland


    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Show more Show less
    54 mins
  • Be Careful What You Wish For
    Jun 10 2024

    "We're not going to lose to that evil woman. I'm the only evil woman in your life. Well that's for sure." jokes Kelly while enjoying the fact she's still in exile during this week's episode. As "Clash of the Dance Moms" kicks off Abby is makes her disdain for Kelly's absence abundantly clear as Paige and Brooke are slotted at the bottom of the pyramid. With Kelly unable to criticize Abby, attention turns to Holly who is upset at Nia's middling placement on the Pyramid. Holly says she believes Nia is not receiving the attention from Abby that she needs to excel the way Abby insists that she wants, though Abby's attention is a double edged sword and our Bitches wonder if Holly isn't quite thinking through what might happen.


    This week's competition pits the ALDC against Cathy and Abby is taking no chances. For the group dance Abby gets ambitious and choreographs a piece entitled "Open Waters" which will require a prop shoreline that the girls will have to dance around. If they're not going to use it why bother with the stress of it? The creative direction leaves the moms somewhat in the cold, and Kelly's absence continues to add to the confusion of the group direction. To fill in the Kelly filled-hole in the group, Abby brings in Leslie and her daughter Payton, which of course "excites" everyone! But with Black Patsy back on the Candy Apples side, it might be useful to have a little Leslie in your corner.




    Quotes

    • “Well I don't think you look sick. I think you look like a bitch. Why thank you. Thank you. I am Bitch #2!” (15:04-15:09 | Christi & Kelly)
    • “I'm telling you like as somebody who was there you saw 1/100th of the fight. That fight was scary. (...) I really thought it was going to be physical. Like truly scary like physical.” (20:58-21:24 | Christi)
    • “If I had a drink I would drink for contradiction. I don't have a drink! Ugh, well I'm not drinking that protein shot. Haven't opened it yet. Sorry, I'm ignoring all headbands because I do not want to drink that shit." (26:47-27:03 | Christi & Kelly)
    • “So upstairs you and Holly comment on the group and how difficult it is trying to figure out what Abby is trying to portray. Yeah because it was stupid." (47:12-47:22 | Christi & Kelly)


    Links

    Subscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w


    Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre


    Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=


    Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510


    Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak


    Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland


    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Show more Show less
    1 hr and 3 mins

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YASSSS

I love both of yall and fall asleep listening to yalls voices every night cuz there so comforting. 🫶 I am always and 4eavr a bitchet!!!

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Big fan

Although these two might curse a lot they are so entertaining i love you guys

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Omggg..I've been WAITING for this!

Looking forward to next week! You two were always my favorites💜🙌🙌 I've literally been patiently awaiting this moment since the end of the series! Good luck to you both, loved the content!

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Love it!

it's so refreshing to listen to the mom's now. I've rewatched the show so many times now. and I see everyone in such a different light and can see everyones point of view! these two women are my favorite after holly!

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