Immediately distracted, JD cannot be trusted to look at a laptop when discussing Captain America: Brave New World. A film that used to be called New World Order but that big rat quickly backpaddled on that one. It seems the rat is trying really hard to not be political and avoid anything that could be seen as controversial but then accidently being political and creating their own controversies! It's almost like not saying anything is in itself a political statement? Hard to say. But look, Sabra no longer works for the IDF, is a Black Widow and is called Ruth now! See! No controversies now! Don't look up what the actress playing her volunteered to do though, it's not important. What is important is there's a Red Hulk president! And someone tries to assassinate him! Surely that won't be controversial? All we're saying is that for not a Hulk movie there's an awful lot of Hulk characters and that the Young Avengers is not happening. Props for the big marble baby shoutout. Once again we're all reminded that Kingo is movies. Captain America: Brave New World in cinemas February 14 2025.

While no apes have ever been president, a spritely baboon by the name of Jackie did reach the rank of Corporal in the South African army during World War I. Injured quite heavily during the war he received the Pretoria Citizens Service Medal. He made it home. Many, many soldiers did not.

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Remember that meme? Agatha? It was her all along! From the Scarlet Witch? Wanda?! Beloved by everyone for a week maybe? Then they announced the Agatha show? And we were all excited? Then they gave us a couple of different names for the TV show because aha! It was a trick and a marketing genius move and not at all reshuffling? Anyways, we got a trailer for it and it’s CSI: Witch for a bit until it’s not. So let’s all enjoy three grown men try to remember what happened in Wanda Vision, guess at Agatha’s motivation and get waylaid by Bewitched and the two Darrens. While we do talk about Agatha Jackson and Zammit love to get sidetracked by imagining how they’d ruin a genie’s day and JD once again just wants media with an audience in mind. Maybe we’ll get a Ralph Boner cameo? Baseless Speculation gets the joke!

While no ape has successfully practiced witchcraft (that we know of (now thinking about it, it’d be more appropriate to say that no ape has been observed successfully practicing witchcraft)), in Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Faust they go to a Witch’s Kitchen and a lady ape is tending to the cauldron. Some other apes are there chilling, playing dice, having a sing, chatting. They bring the devil a crown but as they are clumsy (like all apes) they break it in two. While not witches per se, they are her assistants and that’s neat!

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It shouldn’t be this hard to make a vampire movie and yet here we are. Join us in a brief trip down memory lane as we walk through the many ups and downs of the MCU doing their darndest to make a Blade film happen. So many stinky scripts that sucked, a period drama that didn’t have one (1) Blade and everyone except us wanting to forget Eternals happened. All we know is that Blade is the antithesis to quips-laden MCU, Riz Ahmed may be the missing piece to this whole messy affair and sometimes the audience shouldn’t be you and that’s good.

Even though a monkey as a vampire film would be incredible, Hollywood are cowards and haven’t made one. Apes are on everyone’s lips as Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes made back its budget and Godzilla x Kong was the 3rd highest-grossing film of 2024! It’s never been a better time to make some kind of incredible vampire ape film. Vapeire? Is that good? What about chimpanvamp? Dracuchimp? Now we’re cooking.

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