In the midst of everything that was going on, Louis ended up switching to a new school. That meant leaving behind his friendships, but it also offered an opportunity to set aside who had been in the past and try out a version of himself closer to the kind of young man he wanted to become. 

This is friendship, violence, shame and vulnerability—but more than anything else, Louis’ story is a story of transformation.

At a new school and among a new group of peers, Louis noticed a boy in his class who was being targeted and harassed for not fitting in. He risked his social status with his peers—and went behind the teacher’s back—to be the ally that his classmate desperately needed.

He still gets called a fag sometimes. 

But in the journey of discovering true friendship, aligning with his values and standing up for others, he developed social skills, toughness and an unparalleled clarity of purpose. 

This is the kind of young man our world needs. His story is the roadmap to get there.

Part of the Next Gen Men Podcast Network. Support this podcast by becoming a Next Gen Menber. Reach out at breakingtheboycode@gmail.com. Follow @boypodcast on Twitter and Instagram for podcast-related updates and masculinity-related news.

As his friends got out on probation and their victim started to recover, Louis was left to wrestle with immense and challenging feelings about what was going on. He felt guilty that he had hurt someone who didn’t deserve it. He was afraid of losing a group of friends that had meant a lot to him. He felt helpless to stop them from perpetrating further violence.

He wanted to be better but he didn’t know how.

As he started seeking forgiveness and building a relationship with Matthew, he had to go through the challenge of forging a new friendship, and he had to figure out if it was still possible to hang out with guys whom he no longer trusted. Perhaps most importantly, he had to face himself. 

Listen to Louis unpack those feelings with me, and share from the heart about his uncertain experience of not being defined by his past, and instead being committed to his future.

Part of the Next Gen Men Podcast Network. Support this podcast by becoming a Next Gen Menber. Reach out at breakingtheboycode@gmail.com. Follow @boypodcast on Twitter and Instagram for podcast-related updates and masculinity-related news.

As Louis spent more time with his new group of friends, he started going along with them as they verbally harassed another classmate, Matthew. He figured it was no big deal, but things started to escalate when Matthew decided to tell their teacher what was going on. Louis’ friend group didn’t like getting snitched on, so they got into a fight with Matthew after school.

Matthew told on them again. Louis and his friends decided there was hell to pay, and assaulted him so badly he went to the hospital with four broken ribs and had to be monitored for lung damage. This time, Matthew pressed charges.

Sit with Louis as he wrestles with the feelings that started weighing on him in the weeks that followed—the guilt and shame of hurting another person, the betrayal of getting laughed at by his friends when he told them to stop, and his growing determination to make a change.

Part of the Next Gen Men Podcast Network. Support this podcast by becoming a Next Gen Menber. Reach out at breakingtheboycode@gmail.com. Follow @boypodcast on Twitter and Instagram for podcast-related updates and masculinity-related news.