Episodes

  • Episode 22. The Goldilocks Dilemma

    Episode 22. The Goldilocks Dilemma
    May 12 2023
    There are many social expectations, showing up as ‘proper’ (aka neurotypical) table manners that can ultimately make eating really uncomfortable and stressful. Sit still, keep your elbows off the table, don’t talk whilst food is in your mouth, don’t slurp, hurry up, slow down, take your cap off (which my brother heard at least a million times).  Then we get the ‘healthy eating’ brigade who insist on things like eat your veggies first, carbs are bad for you, euww beige food is sooooo bad for you.  It’s no wonder folk get a complex around meal times.  And if you have sensory processing difficulties, eating food can become impossible. In this episode, Mel explains why neurodivergent folk can struggle to eat and invites you to chuck out the rulebook that says we need to eat this way not that.  Drawing from Goldilocks and the 3 bears, and Mel sharing her own experiences, this episode will shed some light on why having high and low sensitivity is NOT being overly dramatic, rude or high maintenance. Finding safe experiences with food is trial and error. Sometimes it will be too hot, too intense or just too much. Other times it will be boring, underwhelming and disappointing.  Stay for the pick n mix when Mel will share suggestions on how to adapt and manage your eating experiences so you can find the calm or the stimulation you need, that’s just right. These nuggets are also shared below.  Also worth mentioning, because I forgot to when recording, and because there are no treatment guidelines for supporting Autistic people with sensory processing disorder or eating disorders, [BONKERS RIGHT?!] The PEACE Pathway is an incredible resource for both practitioners and if you are living with an eating disorder and Autism yourself, or are a carer for someone who does. GO TO www.peacepathway.org for more Thanks for tuning in!   Resources Here are the nuggets from  the pick n mix: OK, if you find yourself overstimulated, overwhelmed and unable to process, my advice is to work on doing (and asking others to support you in this), what helps you feel safer and more grounded, regardless (and this can be tough) what is deemed socially acceptable. I’ve worked hard on chucking out the eating rule book which has meant managing others expectations and encouraging them to respect my needs. You may find you benefit from finding or creating a quiet space to eat. Wearing headphones or a hat can help. You may prefer to eat alone and it’s OK if you need to take your time. Alternatively, you might find you need to move about to dissipate any held anxiety and tension. So give yourself permission to get up if you need to or eat whilst standing.You might need to prepare to eat by first doing something that brings you some calm and than having something soothing to do straight after to help you decompress.There is nothing wrong with wanting beige or similarly textured foods! If they mean you can eat, eat them. They still provide loads of nutrition, so ignore the folk who say otherwise.Similarly, if you rely on pre-packaged foods, it’s not cheating, it’s helping yourself to regulate your nervous system. Predictability is necessary and should be respected.Really cold foods can be more tolerable as their taste is sometimes less intense.Keep a list of safe or same foods to show to others who may be providing your meals. Your reasons are valid. If you’re worried about not getting the right nutrition, please do get in touch, I can help.  Now if you’re someone who has low sensitivity and needs meal times to be stimulating, here are some suggestions: Again, this is where standing up and moving about whilst eating can be helpful. SO I’m giving you permission to do that when you need to.Getting stimulation and distraction from non-food items whilst you eat means watching something, having your phone with you, or listening to music can be really helpful. I know my nan and pops would turn in their grave but hey, if it means not having to experience distressed behaviours, do it!I love funky bowls and plates; different shaped ones, different colours. I like to eat with tiny spoons, novelty cutlery that I’m sure were designed for kids and chopsticks. It’s the same with glasses and water bottles - anything that helps me go ooh, I want to use that.And go with your preferences. If you enjoy crunchy, dry foods, beige foods, salty, sweet, spicy or certain flavour combinations, there are no rules written anywhere (OK maybe some dodgy opinions) that say you shouldn’t respond to what your body is asking for. 
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    23 mins
  • Episode 21. Desperately seeking Dopamine

    Episode 21. Desperately seeking Dopamine
    Apr 28 2023
    Welcome to Season 3!  What’s it like when your brain lacks dopamine? Pretty crap to be honest. Nothing feels exciting. It takes effort to find joy in things, because it’s all BORRRINNGG.  The most mundane of tasks, like getting out of bed and having a wash have no appeal.  So it makes sense we try to find Dopamine, and it can be by any means necessary. With ADHD, we might learn that constantly moving, whether that’s fidgeting and not being able to sit still…or needing to exercise, gives us a hit. Even though we may well be knackered, it’s worth the effort to get it. It can also look like constantly scrolling on our phones, changing hobbies and interests time and time again, starting new projects, businesses, changing jobs (or not being able to keep them), spending (too much), doing multiple things at once and the focus of this episode - eating. What is it about eating carbs, that everyone seems to have an opinion about? That they just can’t keep to themselves? Are you eating again? Surely you’re not still hungry? Are you sure you should be having that? OMG I could never eat that. Food is amazing at helping us get some much needed dopamine. It’s colours, textures, smells and flavours can all press our buttons…But our culture shames anyone using food, especially carbs for anything else other than fuel (oh and it must be a  ‘healthy’ fuel). So we get can get caught up in ‘I shouldn’t eat / have eaten that’ ‘I need to stop eating so much junk’. Shaming others or self depreciation does NOT help in this situation.  Neurodivergent folk can have complicated and often difficult relationships with food because dopamine, one way or another, often drives a big part of the show. And the world we live in seems to have a huge problem with folk doing their own thing when it comes to eating. Our brains are incredibly resourceful. I think it’s super smart that our brains learned food = dopamine. Sure, we probably don’t want food as our only source, but we don’t need to go cold turkey and not eat anything fun or delicious whilst we try to find other ways to get it.  In this episode, Mel explains why Dopamine is essential - WHAT it does and WHY it can affect our eating. And it’s not just about dopamine seeking behaviours, we also need to understand the folk who struggle with dopamine hypersensitivity.  Better understanding = less shame and more compassion, an ideal recipe for living an easier life. To note: as I mentioned in this episode, I am definitely simplifying the differences that exist in neurodivergent brains. I have not mentioned genes, epigenetics or structural and developmental differences in the brain. And when I say lacking dopamine, what I really mean is lacking available and active dopamine. Neurodivergent brains can have ‘normal’ dopamine levels but there are alterations in its reuptake and breakdown. But hey, lets not get all caught up in this (I’m starting to get bored) but I hope you get the gist and my explanations make some sense and resonate with you. Thanks for listening.   Resources Here are the nuggets from  the pick n mix: Reminders, reminders, reminders. Now I’m not a fan of rules but I am all for supportive structure. If you regularly forget to eat and you don’t feel great because of that, you’re going to need some alarms. Multiple alarms. Probably 3 or 4 for the meal you struggle with most. Set them on your phone, maybe with an image of something eating, or in whatever way is going to help prompt you to go eat when you need to. You might find visual lists of your same or safe snacks and meals that you're into at the moment on a kitchen cupboard, fridge or your phone helpful too. What can make eating more appealing or easier? There are no rules here. If you need to eat standing up, or moving around do that. Play some music, put on a video on your phone, use your favourite plate, bowl and cutlery. Body double for accountability, even if they aren’t eating, although it often helps if they are. Make a dopamine toolkit with activities that make you happy - mine are spending time with my husband, painting my house with lively colours, wearing bright colours, watching Brooklyn 99 (there’s a new series out on Netflix), playing with my dogs, doing jigsaws, getting in the sun, going roller skating - just discovered this one! Focus on safety. What helps you to reduce anxiety or decompress? Is it eating beige and brown coloured foods? Eating alone or in silence? Not having your foods touch? The lights not being too bright, playing your favourite song on repeat, wearing headphones or a hat? What would need to happen for you to rebuild your body trust and do what you need to do, despite what others say…basically how can you begin to throw out the neurotypical rule book?
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    23 mins
  • Episode 20. We’re not broken

    Episode 20. We’re not broken
    Feb 24 2023

    “ADHD is like being in a car that’s on autopilot. Rather than it taking you directly to your planned destination, you go on an all-day adventure to some far-off place because the name sounded interesting. Or it just stops in the middle of a busy road and refuses to move”

    “It’s lying awake at night thinking of all the things you want and need to do the next day, then doing none of them”.

    ADHD is a life of extremes. It can be exhilarating as neurodivergent folk speak of superpowers. But it can also be REALLY FU*KIN HARD. 

    Disordered eating behaviours and eating disorders are more common in the neurodivergent, compared to the neurotypical. Food preoccupation, erratic eating, binge eating, rigid and restricted eating. We need better understanding so we can be better supported. 

    I say we, because I (Mel) am neurodivergent. 

    “Oh not you as well” was what someone said to me when I got my diagnosis. “It’s trendy to have ADHD isn’t it”, said someone else. Well, it’s certainly trending – screening and diagnoses have been on the increase for years. For good reason. We need more screenings, assessments and diagnoses!

    In this episode I share my experience of struggling for my whole life with undiagnosed ADHD, and then finding clarity, answers and a way forward. I’ve put my heart on my sleeve here because it’s been therapeutic for me, and because I also hope it helps someone else feel less alone.

    I’ll be back in season 3 to talk more about neurodiversity and eating problems. Subscribe so you can join me!

     

    Resources

    ADHD 2.0 by Edward Hallowell & John Ratey, Audible link HERE

    ADHUK website and adult self-screening tool https://adhduk.co.uk

    ADHD and menopause booklet from Balance Menopause

    Right to choose 

    If you are based in England under the NHS you now have a legal right to choose your mental healthcare provider and your choice of mental healthcare team. This means, should you decide the waiting time for an ADHD assessment is too long, then you can choose alternative providers. 

    ADDitude magazine

    A reputable source of information if you are neurodivergent, are a parent or carer or just know someone who has a fascinating, marvellous brain.
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    22 mins
  • Episode 19. I don’t bloody want avocado pudding (why healthifying foods made me miserable)

    Episode 19. I don’t bloody want avocado pudding (why healthifying foods made me miserable)
    Feb 10 2023

    Healthification. See also healthified, healthifying. Adapting a recipe, meal or way of eating to improve its health value; to make it healthier. 

    Sounds good right? It depends on how you define health. Because if becoming pre-occupied with making food healthier causes stress and anxiety, it ain’t good. If the focus is just to achieve weight loss, it ain’t gonna be good. Especially when there is negligible evidence to prove healthification does what it sets out to. Because we live in a world that is overly weight focused, that is pro healthism, that refuses to understand the impact of weight stigma and the role of the wider determinants of health.

    Now if you love adapting your recipes for the feel-good factor or simply love experimenting with food, carry on! But it’s all to easy to get caught up in fads and trends and lose sight of why you’re doing it. 

    Healthification can be a slippery slope to disordered eating. And not just for me. In this episode I share some of my stories and past efforts to better myself. And what went wrong. I talk about what we did to the poor cauliflower, problematic messaging, privilege, morals and spiralling behaviours. Check out the pick n mix at the end where I recommend some cool reading that won’t make you feel badly about yourself. 

    Resources

    1.Food is not medicine by Dr Joshua Wolrich 

    https://www.amazon.co.uk/Food-Isnt-Medicine-Joshua-Wolrich/dp/1785043463/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

     

    2.Gentle Nutrition: A Non-Diet Approach to Healthy Eating by Rachael Hartley. 

    https://www.amazon.co.uk/Gentle-Nutrition-Non-Diet-Approach-Healthy/dp/1628604247/ref=sr_1_1?crid=X5KEXYPKBZIV&keywords=gentle+nutrition&qid=1675779821&s=books&sprefix=gentle+nutrition%2Cstripbooks%2C90&sr=1-1

     

    3. The wider determinants of health (that go beyond eating and exercise) https://goinvo.com/vision/determinants-of-health/

     
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    20 mins
  • Episode 18. Part 2 The true cost of weight loss drugs

    Episode 18. Part 2 The true cost of weight loss drugs
    Jan 27 2023

    In part 2 of this episode, I spill what the drug trial data really shows; not the rosy-coloured-spectacle -buy-our-drugs-BS. I talk about short term weight loss and weight regain, neither of which Novo Nordisk wants you to know. 

    You'll hear about the other weight loss drugs that have been withdrawn AFTER launch because they were NOT SAFE. Saxenda and Wegovy are no different. 

    The pharmaceutical industry does not care about your health. It only cares about money. The industry that says it wants to tackle weight stigma, by stigmatising the very folk they claim to want to 'help'.

    Now a weight loss drug is not something I would recommend taking, but it’s also not my decision. 

    Although they won’t work for everyone, all of them have side effects, and none of them are risk-free. Body autonomy is a human right. 

    In order to make your own decision over your own life and future, you need to have access to ALL the information. I hope this episode helps do this. But you must also look at your needs, based on your lived experience. You need to listen to the Pick N Mix at the end for help with this. 

    Listener discretion is advised for this episode. 

    Have you listened to part 1?

    Resources

    Saxenda Trial - A Randomized, Controlled Trial of 3.0 mg of Liraglutide in Weight Management https://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/nejmoa1411892

    Wegovy Trial - Once-Weekly Semaglutide in Adults with Overweight or Obesity https://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMoa2032183
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    30 mins
  • Episode 18. Part 1 The true cost of weight loss drugs

    Episode 18. Part 1 The true cost of weight loss drugs
    Jan 13 2023

    If you were offered a drug you could take just once a week, that was clinically proven to lead to sustained weight loss, without the nasty side effects, you’d be tempted right?

    If you were offered a drug you had to self-inject, that would give you nausea, vomiting and upset stomach for months, that you needed to take forever (that you’ll have to pay for) otherwise weight regain would occur, that might increase your chances of developing cancer or even dying, I’m guessing you wouldn’t be so keen. 

    The first paragraph is what the drug company tells you. 

    The second paragraph is me Mel, not being paid by Big Pharma to lie, instead critically evaluating the data and telling you the truth. It’s important I do this because there are literally lives at risk. 4 of the last 6 weight loss drugs have been withdrawn, not because they didn’t work, but because they caused harm. And death.

    In part 1 of this episode, I start to reveal how harmful weight loss drugs can be. It’s a bit sweary and possibly triggering. I talk about weight loss, ob*s!ty and numbers so no offence taken if you need to skip this. 

    I’ll explain how these drugs came about, why no one can get hold of the diabetic drugs they really need, and share some rather nasty side effects.

    Part 2 will follow next where I get more into the side effects, dangers and financial persuasion and discuss the recent news of the American Academy of Paediatrics recommending these weight-loss drugs (and bariatric surgery) for kids. Don’t forget to subscribe!

    Resources

    Saxenda Trial - A Randomized, Controlled Trial of 3.0 mg of Liraglutide in Weight Management https://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/nejmoa1411892

    Wegovy Trial - Once-Weekly Semaglutide in Adults with Overweight or Obesity https://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMoa2032183
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    27 mins
  • Food and the Festive Season:- navigating Christmas with an eating disorder (or disordered eating)

    Food and the Festive Season:- navigating Christmas with an eating disorder (or disordered eating)
    Dec 23 2022

    It’s difficult to think of Christmas beyond the food. Indulgence is the focus, with the expectation of laughter, love and joy.  But the reality is often very different. Not only is the whole experience overwhelming, but it’s also riddled with fear and guilt. How the hell do you get through all this?

    In this episode, Mel helps you put a strategy in place; one that helps to remove your attention from your eating disorder, that takes the focus away from the food and helps you navigate any tricky or triggering social situations.

    Hear how having a dedicated support person, using safe words, thought stopping, an creating exit plan (and more), so whatever comes your way, you have the power to choose you and decide what happens next. You’ve got this!

     

    Resources

    Mentioned in the Pick n Mix.

    1.Lana’s basket – eating disorder and mental health recovery cutlery https://www.lanasbasket.com

    2.How to help someone with an eating disorder handbook by Dr Pamela MacDonald https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Help-Someone-Eating-Disorder/dp/1789561973

    BEAT POD (Peer-support & Online Development) for parents and carers https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/training-events/find-training/training-for-parents-and-carers

    3. Dealing with diet talk blog https://www.wakemannutrition.com/blogs/mels-blog/dealing-with-diet-talk
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    26 mins
  • What does Anxiety have to do with food issues?

    What does Anxiety have to do with food issues?
    Dec 9 2022

    Using food to cope with difficult emotions, including anxiety is called being human. If you’ve ever opened up a tub of ice cream, a sharing bag of crisps you have no intention of sharing or sitting on the sofa with a whole cheesecake and one spoon, you are human. 

    Food has the ability to soothe, comfort and numb. It can nourish mind, body and soul and it can heal, which I think is rather marvellous. To be honest, there are many worse things we could do other than eat. Although our culture will do it’s very best to shame folk for comfort eating and binge eating. The idea of eating ‘unnecessarily’ is called greedy, overindulgent, out of control and weak. Which means many folk experience anxiety with just the idea of eating, especially if it’s been labelled a ‘bad’ food [there is no bad food by the way, this is diet culture language and it’s harmful].

    There is so much pressure to conform to the so-called thin ‘ideal’ thanks to cultural, medical and peer coercion. There is no consideration of genetics, environment or trauma. There is no consideration of neurodiversity. There is no consideration of mental health and needs must.

    Mel is here to help release some of the shame around food being a coping tool and she’ll explain why food is a common crutch for so many . Mel will also help you understand what food issues can look like when the anxiety comes before the eating and after the eating.

    And make sure you listen to the pick n mix at the end as Mel has 3 helpful free nuggets to help you break the cycle of constant worry, boost your coping strategy options and restore a sense of calm. 

    Oh and she’s got a lovely helpful gift for you that you can open it right now: Journaling prompts to promote healing and recovery. Free download here: https://tinyurl.com/5dmyf8n3
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    19 mins