Girl…Jenn…listen to the Australian Bachelorettes who came before you…listen to the context…do not let the tall man who knows he’s hot (some are saying) sway you!!! Acknowledge what came before you!!!

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Jenn and her mid-tier guys are in Melbourne in this unprecedented early trip away from LA. What isn’t unprecedented is her gravitation towards some obvious front-runners…as it tends to be with female leads. Also typical…of men…is that they send some red flags. Best of luck, xoxo and at least enjoy the fantasy suite!

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We are back and ready to listen to our intuition to make wild assumptions! This isn’t our first rodeo: the men on The Bachelorette consistently disappoint us, and this is shaping up to be no different. But at least there will be some characters and petty drama along the way, too! Wishing for a Jenn learns how to turn a man down redemption arc, expecting a Jenn on one knee proposing outcome.

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We are SOOOO back! Missing the mic as we take well over an hour to get to the actual meat of the episode: a brief swipe left/right on Jenn’s cast (based on wedding date potential). Otherwise, we discuss weddings, the future of our democracy, Summer House, the rumors about Nick Viall’s marriage, and much more. We’ve missed you all so much, and the premiere is soon upon us!

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Joey boy, you’ve done it. Perfect lead, perfect season! Dark-horse winner, self-control, maintained popularity, and a tears-worth proposal. Enjoy a nuanced take on an untraditional final day; we loved the powerful intuition but hated the risk of involving Kelsey. Just let them get engaged! Our next Bachelorette is a happy surprise, just like the best ones. See you this summer, Jenn!

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Every season, we have hope for the black sheep to rise, and every season, we are met with the same outcome: an indifferent blonde F1. Always just as we get 100% on board with the runner-up. Tune in for an in-depth analysis of Rachel’s mishandling of her injury, Kelsey’s intuition, and Daisy’s self-absorption.

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Joey travels to restaurants, historical centers, and the Inland Empire for what used to be known as “Hometowns.” It’s best behavior week as everyone puts on their best interview self and hides their true feelings. We still got some memorable…and dare we say hot…family members! Who would you give your final rose, friend zone, fantasy suite, and send home to between the four dads?

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HATER ALERT!!! It’s us again, really getting some frustration out over the always inevitable Daisy, and the inevitable mistake the producers make in NOT making Maria the Bachelorette. Even though Maria made a massive miscalculation this week…we still ride for her. Kelsey A brings classic “everything seems great” F2 energy, and Whitney called Jenn’s cringe factor for Joey, even if she forgot about it from last week. Lastly, in the words of Jen Shah, Rachel hear this: “If you’re gonna be a b*tch, be a fun b*itch!!!”

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