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NARRATOR (GEORGE):
The Toy Museum remembers everything.
It remembers the first teddy bear sewn by an immigrant.
It remembers Barbie striking a pose at a 1959 toy fair.
It remembers dragon trucks that eat cars
and tiny supermarkets where children practice being grownups.

But tonight,
the museum is thinking in rectangles.

Bricks.
Studs.
The quiet click that has become
one of the most recognizable sounds
in the toy world.
The Night Watchman
has wandered into the construction wing.

[Footsteps on a slightly hollow floor; faint echo.]

NARRATOR:
Shelves of building sets stretch in both directions—
castles, spaceships, cities,
boxes with age ranges on the front
and smiling children on the back.
But on a low pedestal near the center,
there’s a quieter scene.

A cluster of green plates,
a few stalks of brick-built bamboo,
and three black-and-white figures
assembled from a modest handful of pieces.

NIGHT WATCHMAN:
Ah. And pandas.
Two things I’ve seen everywhere
and never really put together.

Aquarium from Carnival of the Animals by composed by Camille Sans-Saen, Performed by the Seattle Youth Orchestra. Source: https://musopen.org/music/1454-the-carnival-of-the-animals/. License: Public Domain (composition) / Creative Commons (recording).

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The Toy Museum has its own kind of gravity.
Once you’ve visited a shelf, it tugs at you.

Tonight, the Night Watchman finds himself
back in the Barbie gallery.
Same pink glow.
Same tiny shoes.

But the spotlight is different.

It’s shifted to the left.

[Soft click of a case light turning on.]

NARRATOR:
Onto a smiling man,
molded hair,
permanent tan,
and a wardrobe that never quite decides what he does for a living.

NIGHT WATCHMAN:
All right, then.
Your turn.

KEN (slightly nervous, friendly):
Wow.
Okay. Hi.
Uh… this is weird.

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NARRATOR (GEORGE):
The Toy Museum never really sleeps.
It sighs. It settles. It adjusts its labels.
But somewhere, between the glass cases and the security cameras, the night gets… strange.

Previously, the Night Watchman met a bear who smelled like home.
Tonight, he’s walked into a different kind of dream—
one made of high heels, sequins, and an alarming number of tiny pink shoes.

[Footsteps slow. A light switch clicks. A faint, glamorous “whoosh” of spotlights.]

NIGHT WATCHMAN:
…Oh.
Wow.

NARRATOR:
He has found the Barbie gallery.

Rows of dolls in glittery boxes.
Outfits on miniature hangers.
Convertible cars. Dream houses.
An entire closet that looks like it exploded
and politely arranged itself into product lines.

NIGHT WATCHMAN (softly):
Teddy, I owe you an apology.
I thought your shelf was intense.
[Small, sparkling chime – your “toy waking” sound.]

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NARRATOR (GEORGE):
The Toy Museum KNOWS how to roar.
It has dragons that eat cars,
tiny metal racers that dare gravity,
and shelves of toys that glow and beep and shout.

But sometimes,
the museum does something much quieter.

It turns the dullest errands of adult life
into a stage for children.

Tonight, the Night Watchman
has wandered away from speeding cars
and plastic teeth,
into a corner of the museum
that feels… suspiciously like a grocery store.
[Footsteps slow. A trolley rattle, very small.]

All right, that’s tonight’s story.I’ll make my roundsand see who’s ready to talk tomorrow.
In this place,there’s always one more toywith something to say.
NIGHT WATCHMAN:
Let me guess.
Next stop: frozen peas?

NARRATOR:
Not quite.
In front of him, on a low platform,
is a play set laid out like a tiny supermarket.
There’s a checkout counter with a little conveyor belt,
a scanner,
a beeping register,
plastic fruits and vegetables,
milk cartons the size of his thumb,
and a trolley just big enough
for two small blue heelers to fight over.

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NARRATOR (GEORGE):
The Toy Museum has currents, like an ocean.
Soft shelves, hard shelves, loud shelves, quiet ones.

Last night, the Night Watchman nearly fell asleep
leaning against a Squishmallow—
no-questions-asked softness in pastel colors.

Tonight, the current drags him somewhere else.
Somewhere harder.
Sharper.
Louder.

Footsteps

NARRATOR:
He’s entered the vehicles area.
Rows of tiny cars.
Trucks.
Motorcycles.
Helicopters frozen mid-rescue,
race cars mid-victory lap.
And at the end of the aisle—
taking up an entire platform—
something stranger.

NIGHT WATCHMAN:
Well.
That’s… a lot.

NARRATOR:
Picture a semi truck
designed by a child who had equal access
to car magazines and dragon drawings.
A massive hauler with a dragon’s head at the front,
a dragon’s tail at the back,
and another dragon—smaller, meaner—
perched on top like a hungry backpack.
Orange track coils from its sides
like captured lightning.

NIGHT WATCHMAN:
Let me guess.
Hot Wheels?

NARRATOR:
He’s not new to the brand.
He remembers having a few tiny metal cars as a boy,
a single strip of orange track
propped on a stack of books.
One or two loops,
if you were lucky.

But this…
This looks like someone asked,
“What if the car carrier was a fire-breathing monster
that eats the traffic jam and turns into a racetrack?”

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NARRATOR (GEORGE):
The Toy Museum has its quiet corners—
where Squishmallows wait to be hugged,
and where a teddy bear smells like home.

Tonight is not one of those corners.

Tonight, the Night Watchman
has wandered into the game aisle—

the place where toys don’t just sit and get held.
They demand players.
They demand rules.
They demand noise.

[Footsteps on carpet, then a slightly hollo w thunk as he bumps a shelf.]

NARRATOR:
Board games stare at Mr. Smith from every direction—
cardboard boxes promising strategy,
mystery,
family bonding,
or at least a temporary truce.
But halfway down the aisle,
a smaller box catches his eye.
Bright colors.
A cartoon pigeon
with a wild stare.
A plastic bird-shaped shaker
peeking through a clear window.
The title is simple,
and more than a little concerning.

NIGHT WATCHMAN:
“Exploding…
Pigeon.”

Of course.

Because apparently
“calm, soothing pigeon”
didn’t test well with focus groups.

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Ebenezer is back.

This is the second night for Ebeneezer Smith as the new night watchmen at the Metropolitan Museum of toys and childhood artifacts KEY in lock. DOOR opening.]

EBENEZER (muttering to himself):
Well, I’m here. Again.

This time I doubt I’ll meet any human beings I can talk with…
The toys might be a different story.

But honestly? I don’t understand what happened last night. I have no idea if that conversation with Slinky was a one-time deal—

—or just a bit of bad beef.

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Hello my name is Ebeneezer Smith
Thank you for staying with me.(mutters to himself)
All right. Let’s see what kind of neighbors I’ve got.
There is a set of plastic building bricks.
There is a board game whose box I remember arguing over with my cousins.
And in the “Comfort and Companions” section, a bear that looks suspiciously like something I once slept with every night until I was far too old to admit it.

[SOUND: Footsteps slow.] And I admit this is the kind of atmosphere that does make you want to talk to yourself

Well, hello there, middle-school emotional support system.

Footsteps

Everything is quiet.
Ordinary.
Almost disappointingly normal.

Let me see - here is a gallery labeled: “American Playthings: 1940s–1960s.”

A soft metallic… whisper.

[SOUND: Very faint first shhhink… shhhink…]

It has to be nothing.
The building settling.
A vent conductor rattling.
The ghost of a shopping cart from the discount store next door.

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