The Truman Capote technique, letting our senses remember the most important bits of a conversation, (which I learned in journalism school at UC Berkeley) works surprisingly well in coaching.

I realized this four years ago, when I tried taking notes amidst an early boom in my coaching business. Writing and then trying to read afterwards notes from ten sessions in one day was futile. So I stopped. And I let my memory serve me instead. Which it did, beautifully.

Over the last five years, I've coached over 10,000 sessions purely off of presence and curiosity. By memory, with no notes, I type up and share with my coachee a crisp, story-like summary after.

It takes me one to two minutes, in deep flow, to write up what I recall, in ways where clients feel tender and heard. I even remember details years later, if we reunite for friendship or more coaching. I'm convinced the reporting system I've devised helps connect us through the written word long after the coaching conversation ends, and that's what I'm sharing in these short essays, which I read for you in this week's Competency No 5 episode. [Publishing soon to Substack.]

Your show host

Debbi McCullough is an Economist and Financial Times-trained journalist who became a Master Certified Coach with the International Coaching Federation and a communications coach for newly-promoted or promoting Fortune 500 leaders. Book her for coaching, training or ICF mentoring here. Train with her on Maven here.

There are 1,676 students in Harvard's Class of 2029 with the entire cohort entering their sophomore year this August. Nicholas McCullough is one of them and one of a handful of Wisconsinites.

In this interview, fodder for chapter 10 of the Harvard Mum Essay Project, we stand with Nick and hear about his summer; his self-funded travels to Europe; and lessons on self calm and time management from having completed his first year of studies and football living 1040+ miles away from home.

We also learn how he and fellow college athletes cope with the rigorous 60 to 80-hour weeks (combining sports with studies) that come next. Extra naps, focus, and camaraderie tend to save the day.

You can find Nicholas McCullough on LinkedIn here for internship opportunities.

Debbi McCullough is an Economist and Financial Times-trained journalist who became a Master Certified Coach with the Intl Coaching Federation and a communications coach for newly-promoted Fortune 500 leaders. Book her for coaching, training or ICF mentoring here. Train with her on Maven here.

You can read Harvard Mum Essay Project excerpts on Substack, rolling out as a memoir and essay collection 2029.

My Harvard son's travels through Europe this year and last year at ages 18 and 19 remind me nostalgically of my own adventures at his age. He self-funded his travels as did I. He went with his mates, with no adult companion. I went solo.

Reflecting on a journey I took around Nicholas' age, from Christchurch, New Zealand, to Kodaira, on the outskirts of Tokyo, required navigating Shinjuku station along the way, with its 3.5 million daily commuters, then the population of New Zealand.

Looking back, it was presence, trust, and focus that got me through, and without mobile technology, GPS, or a lick of Japanese language.

You can read my Substack essay which I read in this episode here. If you or someone you care for want to feel more present with stranger conversation, write to me at hangingrockmedia@gmail.com for a free tip sheet. Put "stranger conversation" in the subject line.

Debbi McCullough is an Economist and Financial Times-trained journalist who became a Master Certified Coach with the Intl Coaching Federation and a communications coach for newly-promoted Fortune 500 leaders. Book her for coaching, training or ICF mentoring here. Train with her on Maven here.

Menopause has more than 34 symptoms recognized by the medical community and around 100 symptoms that women experience. And yet menopause, which impacts 75% of women, remains largely undiscussed and unplanned for.

In this episode of Competency No. 5, on staying present as we coach, lead, and live, we speak with Simon Salt, a British author based in Florida and newly certified Menopause Coach, whose book The Quiet Transition is underway.

Salt trains men to stay present through their partners' menopause — not to fix it, but to notice it, without judgment. His method: book regular time to sit and ask, and listen. How are you feeling? What symptoms are showing up? What's shifting? What is and isn't working?

The exchange runs both ways — men share their own experience of the transition, and each partner asks the other for more, less, or none of something. Repeated often, this attention keeps couples oriented through a change most face alone.

It's a case study in presence: show up, ask better questions, resist the urge to solve before you understand.

Follow Simon Salt and The Quiet Transition on Substack, and his other books on Amazon.

Debbi McCullough is an Economist and Financial Times-trained journalist who became a Master Certified Coach with the Intl Coaching Federation and a communications coach for newly-promoted Fortune 500 leaders. Book her for coaching, training or ICF mentoring here. Train with her on Maven here.

If you've coached some hours, you've possibly noticed our clients can (at times) become combative, biased, and/or lay down something in front of us which invites our judgment. (Coaches still judge. Of course we do. All of us do. It's part of the human condition.)

We bring back to the show Dr. Marcia Reynolds to unpack those moments and how we can A/maintain our presence and let the judgment go and B/exit the conversation with grace and calm when anything offensive directed at us erodes our presence to the point where we can no longer continue.

Marcia Reynolds is a Global Guru Top 10 and Master Coach Trainer and Author of multiple books, including Coach the Person, Not the Problem Second Edition, now a bestseller on Amazon.

We hear in this episode how setting intentions and defining how we're willing to be spoken to becomes a powerful tool in heated moments, and one we can all learn from, at work and at home.

You can find Marcia Reynolds on LinkedIn and find her Second Edition of her bestseller here on Amazon.

Debbi McCullough has written for the Economist, Financial Times of London, and Guardian. She is certified with the International Coaching Federation as a Master Certified Coach and is a trusted communications coach for Fortune 500/100 leaders. Find her on LinkedIn. Book her for a consult. Train with her on Maven.

We sit down with former studio executive on films from Die Hard 5 to The Wolverine, Steven Puri, who learned how to inspire a broad range of teams through this creative work.

He's now sharing tips and techniques to help leaders and teams perform at their best and does so as a speaker, serial entrepreneur, and CEO of the Sukha Company, a productivity app which helps stop burnout before it starts.

Hear from a new dad who is finally "getting" what parents mean when they delight in the time they do receive to focus.

We hear about the vibrant feeling that comes when focus time becomes a scarcity.

And we hear the need for pragmatism. Knowing (and accepting) when we can and cannot complete a complex or highly creative task boosts our presence and focus. Acceptance helps us not put unreasonable expectations on ourselves nor dilute our focus from what's immediately before us. (For Steven, for moments throughout his day, that's his infant son.)

For all the dads out there, happy Father's Day. This episode I devote to you. And for everyone wanting to find more about their flow state, Steven has even more tips, which he'll share, when I bring him back to the show for part II.

You can find out more about Steven Puri and the Sukha Company here. Connect with him on LinkedIn here.

Debbi McCullough is a Master Certified Coach and communications coach for Fortune 100/500 leaders and a former reporter for the Guardian, the Economist, and the FT of London. Book her for coaching, training or ICF mentoring here. Train with her on Maven here.

We sit down with Louise Berger, a British occupational therapist specializing in sleep, to hear about the deep work she's doing for the UK's National Health Service on a large sleep study for sleep deprived Brits. (She's the founder and lead of the NHS Insomnia Clinic and a sleep coach with BetterUp.)

Given that maintaining presence and staying calm amidst mayhem, ambiguity, and life's stresses becomes so much easier when we get good sleep, I knew Louise would help us rewire how we think about sleep deprivation, which happens to me often.

We learn that sleep's more evasive when we command it and when we apply perfectionistic standards. Also, that we can take comfort in remembering our ancestors survived on minimal sleep, and in way harsher conditions than our own. And we learn the power of making time each day for, well, doing absolutely nothing. Apparently allowing our minds to wander and ruminate in the day time makes us do so less at night.

You can find Louise Berger on LinkedIn here. And a video she created to help the millions of people in the world who have sleep difficulties, but who never get referred to a clinic nor can afford private help.

Your show host, Debbi Gardiner McCullough, is a Master Certified Coach and communications coach for Fortune 100/500 leaders, a former reporter for the Guardian, the Economist, and the FT of London. Book her for coaching, training or ICF mentoring here. Join her active listening and communications workshops on Maven here and here.

Note to our listeners:

We took the Competency No 5 show outside of my studio this episode, and with that encountered technical difficulties. Hopefully this won't detract from an otherwise powerful conversation about navigating change, adversity, and maintaining hope, courage, and presence along the way.

Nicole Francois, a Wisconsin-based friend, sales leader, and fitness model, has had her share of life struggles. Growing up with a troubled mother, moving in with a strict and firm dad, and then having to build her confidence from the ground up.

One thing that came true for Nicole was her faith, her grit, and her ability and want to reinvent herself into a stronger, more capable version of herself. She did not want (and still does not want today) to allow circumstances to define her. Hear from a sales leader who finds bliss and confidence through boundary setting, taking herself out of her comfort zone, fitness, and being the best possible version of herself and parent.

You can find Nicole Francois on Facebook here.

Your show host, Debbi Gardiner McCullough, is an MCC communications coach for Fortune 100/500 leaders, a former reporter for the Guardian, the Economist, and the FT of London. Book her for coaching, training or ICF mentoring here. Join her active listening and communications workshops on Maven here and here.