Anxiety is Not an Emotion

Did you know that anxiety is not an emotion? You may think you "feel" anxious, but in reality, you're sensing anxiety. Anxiety is a physiological reaction from the "fight or flight" function of the vagus nerve. It triggers the adrenals to release cortisol and adrenaline into your nervous system, setting off an alert to potential danger. You feel it in your solar plexus above your kidneys.

Anxiety's hormones aren’t usually signs of real danger, making anxiety "homeless." It is a moving target in search of a home, but always gets kicked out due to its bad behavior. Anxiety can never be satisfied, making it a close partner to perfectionism. Never happy, never good enough, never complete. Anxiety, perfectionism, criticism, and paranoia cause repeating neurological thought loops that entrench fear (false expectations appearing real). This leads to catastrophizing (seeing disaster around every corner) or magical thinking (belief that unrelated events are connected despite no evidence). These thought patterns result from anxiety, constantly searching for a place to reside, but no one wants to let them in permanently due to their disruptive nature.

Emotions, on the other hand, are our friends. Whether pleasant or unpleasant, they ask to be acknowledged and felt. When we acknowledge our emotions, they transmit messages necessary for both surviving and thriving. However, we often fail to acknowledge and accept our emotions, causing them to return and eventually get stuck in the body. This can create stiffness, pain, and inflammation in the muscles, organs, or entire body areas.

But there’s hope! There are practical things you can do, or rather undo, to create and sustain feelings of calm, peace, and confidence, which dissolve anxiety.

Three Anxiety-Calming Practices:

1. Cognitive Practice: Move Your To-Do List to a Success List

• Start with a sticky note pile and a pen or pencil.
• Set a timer for two minutes and write the first "to do" thing that comes to mind on a sticky note, then rip it off and set it aside. Continue until the timer goes off.
• Categorize these tasks into piles and put the top priority for each pile on top.
• Create a "success list" of no more than three items.
• When feeling overwhelmed, do this activity to calm your mind and create a sense of order.

2. Breathing and Awareness

• Become consciously aware of your breathing and whatever feeling you are experiencing in the moment.
• Make this a practice whenever you notice sensations of anxiety or obsessive thinking.
• This will calm your nervous system and replace danger signals with signals of well-being.
• In a real dangerous situation, this practice will help you stay clear-headed and calm.

3. Acceptance

• Tell yourself, “I accept that I am feeling this right now.”
• Acceptance is the thriving part of your nervous system that allows feelings of joy and brings inspiration.
• Accepting one feeling in the moment opens the horizon to other good things, helping you wave goodbye to anxiety.

In conclusion, anxiety is not an emotion, but instead a physiological response that you can calm. Using the aforementioned anxiety-calming practices will bring relief and a sense of freedom.

Thanks to Marie-Helene Pelletier for her insights on this topic from her book, The Resilience Plan.

For professional support, you can email me at marie@shiftworkplace.com to schedule a time to connect and talk.

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Redefining Leadership in the Mission-Driven Sector

Bio:
Dimple Dhabalia is the founder of Roots in the Clouds, a boutique consulting firm that uses storytelling to heal individual and organizational trauma. She is a writer, podcaster, coach, and facilitator with over 20 years of public service experience at the intersection of leadership, mindfulness, and storytelling.

Dimple's mission is to transform mission-driven sectors by building human-centered cultures that meet mission needs and create psychologically safe spaces of empathy, connection, well-being, and belonging for staff.

Links:
Email: hello@rootsintheclouds.com
Website: https://www.rootsintheclouds.com/
Instagram: www.instagram.com/dimpstory
Newsletter: dearhumanitarian.substack.com
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/dimpstory
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dimpstory
Facebook: www.facebook.com/rootsintheclouds

Quotes:
"Organizations must create a duty of care that looks at the needs of the whole person."

Highlights:
Explore the importance of acknowledging and addressing organizational trauma, the impact of moral conflict, and the need for holistic, human-centered duties of care in organizations.

Childhood Incidents:
As a child, Dimple celebrated all holidays. One Easter, she found eggs in their garden, but a neighbor said they were for Christian children, and her father made her return them. In school, a classmate called her an "Indian giver" for changing her mind about giving a pencil, and the teacher's reaction made her feel out of place. At age seven, her dad was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, shifting family dynamics and making her mom the breadwinner, often requiring Dimple's help and causing her to miss time with friends.

Cultural Influences:
Dimple has always prioritized service before self, a value her hardworking mother also upheld. Before her mother's passing, she urged Dimple and her sister to prioritize self-care, prompting a significant shift in Dimple's approach. Today, she believes in service without sacrifice.

Dimple enjoyed Greece the most, where clear boundaries between life and work allowed her to serve healthily and maintain a social life. However, moving to Delhi led to overworking and losing her social balance.

Personality and Temperament:
Dimple's temperament is rooted in empathy, caring, and a desire to fight injustice. Over the years, she has incorporated self-care, curiosity over judgment, and an understanding that people's behaviors often have unseen complexities.

Cultural Epiphanies:
As a Brownie, Dimple's leader surprised the girls with breakfast at McDonald’s. Dimple's mom dressed her up while the other girls arrived in pajamas. This incident highlighted a cultural disconnect, but taught Dimple about different social norms.

What Brings Out the Best in Dimple?
Curiosity, connection, and empathy are Dimple's strengths. Curiosity drives her to understand others, empathy allows her to share their space, and connection helps explore stories and organizational trauma.

Soapbox Moment:
Dimple’s book, Tell Me My Story: Challenging the Narrative of Service Before Self, is available now. Listen to her podcasts, "Service Without Sacrifice" & "What Would Ted Lasso Do?" For more information, sign up for her newsletter, Dear Humanitarian.

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Using the Language of Virtues for Building Soul-Sustaining Work Decisions

Episode Highlights:
By practicing virtues and utilizing the “virtues progression,” we discover practical tools for creating happier and healthier workplaces.

Importance of Virtues in the Workplace:
I've seen the impact of practicing virtue at work across four careers and over 500 managerial students, coaching clients, and 100+ companies. One of the companies I worked with asked me to help a dysfunctional site improve communication. After introducing the concept of virtues with a personal story, and asking them to share stories about an obstacle they had overcome or something they were proud of, I coached them to identify the virtues in each other's stories. This exercise led to open, non-defensive discussions. A few months later, the workplace atmosphere had improved significantly, increasing customer satisfaction and prompting the company to replicate the approach.

Learning the Language of Virtues:
Virtues are developed through learning and through practice. Virtues are habits of character. Once practiced, they become characteristic of the person’s character. At the heart of the virtue approach is the idea of community. A person's character traits are not developed in isolation, but within and by the communities to which he or she belongs. What philosophers call “the moral life” becomes a matter of determining the kind of people we should be and attending to the development of character within our communities and ourselves. (The Spirit of Work: Timeless Wisdom, Current Realities, p. 35).

To develop my own practice of virtues, I have a virtues card deck. Every morning I pick a card from the deck, and focus on that virtue throughout day. At the end of the day, I reflect on how I applied the virtue to my work. To benefit from this idea, consider getting “The Virtues Project” card deck or “Virtues Cards” app.

Virtues Progression:
From my study of the Sacred Writings of the world religions, I discovered a virtues progression which has specific virtues as benchmarks and a guideline to solve problems. The progression is Love – Truth – Justice – Unity – Peace – Abundance. Every human relations rupture starts from a gap in one of these places in the virtues progression.

For a workplace issue, identify which virtue is missing and look backward in the progression to see what foundational virtue is required to experience it, then forward to know the next step. For example, if someone refuses to communicate, it might be due to a lack of safety (not feeling loved) or fear of repercussions (truth).

To ensure a decision is just, consider that these three justice quotients must be present during the decision-making process for all to benefit:

1. Seek diverse perspectives
2. Consult those most affected
3. Involve all stakeholders

How Virtues Affect People:
A story from Chapter 2 illustrates the power of recognizing virtues. In a high-security prison where my husband once worked as a psychologist, he was assigned to help a large, tattooed, explosive inmate with anger management. As an emotions management tool, my husband introduced the "sparkle technique," a reminder to defuse anger by looking right, smiling, and then looking left, and smiling again (physiologically creating conditions for virtue by calming the nervous system). The technique reduces anger by changing eye position and engaging the muscles used for smiling. Although skeptical, the inmate tried it, found it effective, and even taught it to others, reducing fights in the prison and improving interpersonal relationships. He returned to his program with my husband saying enthusiastically, “This sparkle sh** really works!”

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The Importance of Celebration and Influence in Leadership

Bio:
Anthony A. Dicks, Jr.'s passion for leadership development is evident in his work as he's spent over two decades preparing people with diverse responsibilities to reach their optimal leadership potential. He is currently a doctoral candidate in the Strategic Leadership program at Liberty University and is also a Certified John C. Maxwell Team Member and DiSC Coach. Anthony currently transforms leaders as the Senior Leadership Consultant at 180 Management Group.

Links:
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aadicksjr/

Quotes:
"People who may not be aware of their privilege may also not be aware of how they are exploiting others."

"It's not enough for us to see our heroes win. We need to see our heroes struggle."

Episode Highlights:
Anthony's background as a preacher's kid played a fundamental role in shaping his leadership and communication skills. His educational achievements and professional experiences make him an exceptional leader with great wisdom to share. In this episode, Anthony shares valuable perspectives on leadership development processes within different institutions.

Childhood Incidents:
Anthony’s dad was a Baptist pastor who always made sure his children were involved in church. Before he could stand to preach, Anthony and his three sisters were required to sing. On Anthony’s eighth birthday, he performed the "I Have a Dream" speech by Martin Luther King, Jr. from memory. The standing ovation he received was so warm that it made him want to do it again.

As a young adult, he underwent Advanced Individual Training (AIT) in the US Army. When he arrived at Fort Knox, Kentucky, he encountered people from all walks of life. Per the US military system, leaders had to be picked for different squads, and Anthony was one of them and got the honour to call the cadence.

Influential Group:
Growing up, Anthony had the privilege of seeing his parents graduate from college. His dad was a pastor, and his mom was a primary school teacher. In their household, education was vital. Anthony also attributes the shaping of his childhood to African American traditions and the church.

Cultural and Leadership Influence:
Anthony credits his leadership skills to all the institutions he attended the church, school and the AIT training. He also believes that these institutions shaped his culture, as he had to immerse himself in each one. That said, he sees the limitations of these institutional approaches to leadership and has worked to expand his skills as a result.

Temperament and Personality:
Anthony believes his temperament is inherently trusting. He believes his personality has evolved from being an introvert to an extrovert. He urges us to learn how to give ourselves space to evolve, and not be tied to what we were five or ten years ago.

Cultural Epiphanies:
Throughout Anthony’s education, he had never been a minority until he attended seminary. There was a church history class that was very challenging. Although Anthony excelled effortlessly, he was never celebrated. For the first time, he felt academically invisible. His son experienced a repeat of this issue in high school.

What Brings Out the Best in Anthony?
To bring out the best in Anthony, you need to bring him to the brink of impossibility. He believes that to excel, we have to move to the edge of what we believe possible.

Soapbox Moment:
To be at our best, we need both challenges and encouragement. Anthony urges leaders to find communities of practice to avoid the loneliness that comes with leadership.

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Appreciation is a crucial element for a healthy work environment.

Bio:
Paul White, PhD, is a psychologist, author, and speaker who "makes work relationships work." He has written articles for and been interviewed by many media houses. His expertise has been sought by people from across the world.

Links:
Website: https://appreciationatwork.com/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/paul-white-ph-d-3178276/

Quotes:
"When we show interest in other people and open ourselves up to learn even more or be influenced by them, it's a huge door of opportunity."

Episode Highlights:
Today, Dr. Paul White shares his journey to becoming the person he is today and discusses the different languages of appreciation in workplaces, and gives us his view on life in general. His passion lies in motivation by appreciation. He has authored a book and created resources to share his wisdom and knowledge.

Childhood Memories:
Dr. White worked in his father’s factory from junior high school until college. His dad’s motive was to teach him the value of education and training. Through his experience working in the factory, Dr. White knew he didn’t want to work at the end of the conveyor belt later in life. As a child, Dr. White always went fishing with his mother to have a moment of bonding. His mom learned how to fish as a way of creating a special bond with her children.

Cultural and Leadership Influence:
In life, having a community and developing relationships is essential for times when crises arise, so at least you will have people who can step up. Dr. White recalls when they had their twin sons in Phoenix away from family. The first two years were not easy for them, and it got as far as sleep deprivation.

Influential Groups:
When Paul and his wife were raising their children, it gave them an opportunity to meet parents of their kids' friends and develop friendships. Unfortunately, when their lastborn left the local school, there was a vacuum of friendship since there were no activities bringing them together with other people.

Cultural Epiphanies:
Dr. White realized that in a white male business group of older decision makers, expect respect to be communicated by giving your full attention, listening, and looking them in the eye. In contrast, culturally, both Native Americans and some groups of African Americans view looking a superior in the eye as disrespectful. He learnt the we need to work harder to understand people’s culture.

Personality and Temperament:
Paul describes himself as a social animal. He is socially outgoing, fairly spontaneous, flexible, and loves to have fun.

Impulse control is one characteristic that Paul has grown and continues to grow. He can be spontaneous, but he is learning that there are times to slow down, think through things clearly, not react as much, and be more thoughtful and listen.

What Brings Out the Best in Dr. Paul White?
Dr. White enjoys some structure but also appreciates opportunities to think on his feet and give answers from his life and brain. Recently, he spoke to a group of 30 to 40 business leaders in New York City, during a half-day interactive training. This group really challenged him and asked thoughtful questions that made him stop, think, clarify, share thoughts, and pull information together.

Soapbox Moment:
Dr. Paul White invites us to check out the resources and materials his team created for the website. These resources will help managers build a healthy team and organization.

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What is Career Trauma?
Imagine the teacher, interrupted mid-lesson by her principal's inappropriate whispers, or the immigrant worker denied a bathroom break, only to be mocked as he wets himself.

Consider the unfairness of a negative evaluation and pay cut from someone who's never even seen your work or being passed over for a promotion in favor of the boss's less qualified nephew.

Who hasn't felt the burnout from impossible demands or the frustration of training your replacement?

All these experiences cause us work wounds, which require us to be intentional to heal.

Importance of Emotional Safety in Workplaces:
According to Employment and Social Development Canada, key risk factors for poor workplace psychological safety include high demand and low control, unfair treatment, harassment, and lack of professional development.

A report from the Centre for Addictions and Mental Health revealed that 500,000 Canadians miss work daily due to these issues, costing organizations $200 billion annually as of 2023.

This trauma leads to hyper-vigilance and increased anxiety. However, recognizing emotional safety cues and fostering a safe environment are crucial for healing career trauma.

Doctor Steven Porges' research on polyvagal theory explains that by identifying and processing emotions and sensations, the amygdala's threat reaction is reduced. This allows for the release of emotions tied to recent unpleasant memories, improving overall emotional balance and perception of current situations, without having to revisit past traumas.

While coaching or therapy can significantly help with career trauma, individuals can start their healing process by intentionally focusing on the following three key aspects:

Breathe Intentionally: Focus on the breath to divert the amygdala's attention from a threat response to a safety response. During a virtual training with oil field managers, one manager had a meltdown due to personal and work-related stress, including the recent loss of a worker and family challenges. I suggested he take a moment to breathe, which visibly calmed him. We then took a few collective breaths, further calming the entire group. The manager explained that a colleague had tragically drowned in a tailings pond, and this trauma had amplified his existing stress. However, the simple act of intentional breathing helped him and the group regain composure, highlighting the power of mindful breathing.

Move: When the nervous system feels trapped or tired, it becomes dysregulated, hindering movement and causing distress. To regulate the nervous system, it's essential to recognize and honor the body's need for movement, much like dogs naturally do through stretching and shaking. Dogs rest and heal after conflicts, then resume their normal activities without forcing themselves to overwork. Similarly, humans should balance movement with rest to maintain emotional regulation. So, when tempted to overwork or skip breaks, ask yourself, "Would my dog do this?" First, breathe intentionally, and second, move even just a little to help regulate your emotions.

Connect with Others: Social connection is crucial for healing career trauma, as isolation exacerbates feelings of distress and can shorten life expectancy by up to nine years due to loneliness. In the world's five blue zones, where people live longer and healthier lives, strong social connections are a common factor. Human beings are inherently wired for connection; even babies react positively to emotional connection. In these communities, people regularly interact and care for each other across generations. To maintain emotional regulation, it's essential to connect with others, share experiences, and support each other.

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How the Soul Relates to Work

Episode Highlights:
In this episode, we explore the qualities and nature of the soul from various sacred traditions and how they matter for good work. We delve into the teachings of multiple western and eastern religions and Indigenous spiritualities to understand how the soul relates to and influences our work. From the power to accommodate to the concept of respect and interconnected relationality, the insights from these sacred traditions provide a unique lens through which we can approach work and workplace dynamics.

Defining the Soul:
On page 22 of my book, “Soul in religion and philosophy, is the immaterial aspect or essence of a human being that confers individuality and humanity, often considered to be synonymous with the mind and the self. In theology, the soul is further defined as that part of the individual which partakes of divinity and is often considered to survive the death of the body.”

According to the Baha’i teachings, the soul is not a combination of elements. It is of one indivisible substance, associated with the body but not inside it, and eternal.

How Various Religions Define the Soul:
Page 21 lists simple summaries of how different religions have spoken about the soul.

• The ancient Egyptians talked about the soul as being buried in a stele, meaning the container in which the body had been buried, and that the soul was inside this container, meaning the body.
• In Christianity, Saint Augustine wrote about the nature of the soul as having 3 parts, the body, or somatics, the soul or the psyche, and the spirit or the pneuma.
• In Hinduism, there is the concept of Atman, which is the essence of life that exists in all living things and within human beings is an opportunity to achieve transcendence.
• Islam and Jainism state that the soul exists before its association with the body and must pass through the physical life to overcome bondage and become liberated from the constraints of self and desire.
• In both Judaism and Christianity, the soul is alive if it follows the commandments of God and dead if it does not.

Many North American Indigenous spiritualities have references to life as emanating from the Great Spirit who imbues all living things with the spirit of life.

Qualities and Powers of the Soul:
On pages 23 to 32 in my book, The Spirit of Work: Timeless Wisdom, Current Realities, I highlight the qualities and powers of the soul. Interestingly, these qualities are the same across all sacred traditions. The qualities include purity, peace, love, joy, bliss, and knowledge. The powers of the soul include the power to accommodate, be flexible, consider the other person, and act based on both your needs and the other person's needs, power to back up, and the ability to bring things to closure and move on.

Understanding the soul and its characteristics can inform and improve workplace dynamics, including addressing issues like bullying and toxicity. When work is only a struggle for existence, it feels hopeless. If work is only a search for purpose and meaning, then we may not develop the necessary practical tools required to be able to deal with the struggle of existence. I propose work that is meaningful because it is related to the qualities and characteristics of the soul. It combines the struggle for existence with purpose.

If you are finding these episodes insightful, you can purchase the book The Spirit of Work: Timeless Wisdom, Current Realities online on Amazon and Barnes & Noble or directly from my website shiftworkplace.com. Feel free to send me your insights and stories at marie@shiftworkplace.com.

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The Somatic Leadership Journey

Bio:
Pavini Moray has started, failed, and succeeded in many businesses. A serial entrepreneur, they have built private practices, a worker collective, and a for-profit company. Pavini is a somatic leadership coach, specializing in helping relationships be easy. Moray holds an M.Ed in Montessori curriculum design, as well as a Ph.D. in Somatic Psychology. Pavini has authored, How to Hold Power: A Somatic Approach to Becoming a Leader People Love and Respect.

Links:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/pavinicoakwellmoray/
Website: https://www.pavinimoray.com/

Episode Highlights:
In this episode, Pavini delves into their experiences of cultural disconnect, sharing personal stories of their childhood and how counterculture and punk music provided a sense of belonging and freedom. They discuss the importance of somatic approaches in leadership and personal growth.

Childhood Incidents:
As a child, Pavini’s mother decided that Pavini should have a cultural education of experiencing the arts. As a single mother, cultural education was a luxury she had to prioritize and save for. Contrastingly, Pavini’s dad had season tickets and a box at the opera. One night, when mother and child were at the opera, they noticed the dad sitting in his box in the theatre which was Pavini’s first awareness of wealth disparity.

In January 1986, Pavini’s friends invited them to a punk party. While there, Pavini felt the difference between the world they lived in and the current world they were experiencing then. This experience set Pavini on a journey to find spaces of belonging.

Cultural Influences:
Pavini’s purpose comes from living a life informed by pleasure, embodiment, and communication, tempered with transparency and kindness.

Leadership Influence:
In 2008, Pavini attended an activist camp and experienced the power of transparency and power sharing along with strong organization. This shaped their foundational beliefs about leadership, elderhood and the importance of structure. To date, Pavini cannot stand being in a poorly organized meeting and strives to incorporate elderhood into leadership since it increases the capacity of an entire community.

Temperaments and Personality:
Pavini believes they came into this world as a dancer, with a sense of awe, magic and connection to nature and spirit. Curiosity is also part of Pavini’s temperament. As a child, and later as an adult Pavini developed both a playful and pragmatic side to their personality.

Cultural Epiphanies:
Pavini lived in Bulgaria in the 90s and experienced the Bulgarians' sense of powerlessness and hopelessness as shocking. Pavini recalls a time they went to the mayor asking for transportation for books that had traveled 10,000 miles around the world, and now required transportation for the last 200 miles to get them to the destination. The mayor said it was impossible, but Pavini was able to show him how doable it was when he opened his mind to possibility.

When Pavini was working with a worker collective, a sense of anger at late meetings arose frequently. One of the people they worked with told Pavini that the time intolerance and anger was white supremacy and not all people understand time the same way.

What Brings out the Best in Pavini?
Pavini enjoys working in environments where they can laugh and be playful.

Soapbox Moment:
Pavini encourages us to be attuned. They recognize how vulnerable it can be when we open ourselves to attune with someone else's needs, feelings, desires, fears, and grief.

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