After a long time away from DJing and podcasts, I thought it was time to break out of my semi-retirement and start pumping out some podcasts again. I've had a couple of years of huge changes in my life, where my life went from the very top of the world to rock bottom in only a couple of years and I'm slowly (actually pretty close) to getting back up towards the top again. The details of my disappearance from podcasting were all due to decisions that I made about my life (both consciously and subconsciously) that all led to this occurring. There was no single event that was the reason for me stopping putting out my podcasts, but one of the main one's was my addiction to drugs. I lost my job, my partner and my life savings all in a couple of years. For too long I looked at blaming others for my life falling apart, but one day, I finally woke up and realised I was responsible for what happened to me and that I had been the one to nearly ruin my life. I realised that I had found an excuse for not fixing my life, by using blame as a tool. This had allowed me to transfer the cause of my life falling apart on to others and therefore shift the responsibility for fixing my life, on to them. And an even more startling realisation that I had as soon as I was aware of this was, that I actually already knew that, but hidden that deep within side my thoughts. Because blaming others and expecting them to fix things, was far easier and less confronting than talking about my own issues and examining those dark demons to fix my situation. Once I stopped blaming others and looked within myself, I realised that I had been the one that had taken the drugs and that no one else had forced me. Due to it being my problem, I understood that nothing was going to change until I accepted this and acted upon it. Because blaming my situation on others and expecting them to be responsible to fix it, was never going to happen as those that I blamed weren't suffering from it and therefore didn't see it as a problem or that it required fixing. It was at that point that I started putting steps in place to get my life back on track. I would say the last few years of my life have probably been the most important of my life. I learnt a lot about myself. I learnt alot about my insecurities, I learnt a lot about people in general, I learnt to love myself and I learnt to forgive myself. I learnt to get back out and love nature, to reconnect with it. I learnt about gratitude and empathy and about helping out others in need, I learnt never to judge another person and I learnt that everything happens for a reason. But the most important realisation for me was how perfectly balanced this universe of ours is. There is a duality to everything. You can not have hate without love, you can not have bad without good, you can not have dark without light. Everything in the universe that we see, came from the same thing. Stardust which has combined over billions of years to produce you, me and everything else in it. So if you are the type of person that looks down on someone else, then you also look down on yourself. That's because deep down, we're all stardust, we're all the same. Everything in this universe can be broken down to wave-particles which are made up of matter consisting of waves that radiate out to transfer energy. You can also see waves as having a duality, such as "peaks" and "troughs", or "on"s and "off"s, etc and it is because of this duality that our wave-particles give us, that we also form part of this perfect balance with the universe. One of the most profound realisations that you will ever make is how you are connected to everything in this universe and the karma you are given for the energy you put in. Because you and everything else in the universe is made up of these radiating waves of energy, and by transferring energy from one wave to another where they intersect you can transmit and receive this energy to anywhere in the universe.
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