My therapist once told me, “Some of us heal out loud so others don’t have to.” I think of that almost every time I get a note from a podcast listener telling me how much the stories people share each week have helped this.

In this week’s episode, I’m joined by someone who is healing out loud for the donor conceived community. Nick, host of the Inconceivably Connected podcast, shares how he discovered in his thirties that he was donor conceived. He recounts how his parents decided to reveal the information and how a DNA test helped fill in the rest.

Since his discovery, Nick provides a platform for others to share their experiences being donor conceived, and has even written a book about his experience.

Thank you for sharing your story, Nick.

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It’s usually the fathers. When people open up their DNA results, it’s the dad’s side that doesn’t line up, and the DNA surprise experience begins.

But sometimes, it’s the mothers. In this week’s episode, Robin shares how she uncovered a shocking secret after taking Ancestry and 23andme tests. Her story highlights the impact of family secrets and the power of learning the truth.

Thank you for sharing your story, Robin.

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Fool me once, shame on you…fool me twice? That expression doesn’t exactly translate to the DNA surprise community. As I often say, we believe what our parents tell us, and many times, our surprises are shocking even to the people who raised us.

In this week’s episode, Amber shares the winding road she walked before discovering the truth about her paternity. She reveals the steps she took more than once to connect with biological family, and how it ultimately led her to amazing relationships. Amber’s story is one of compassion, persistence, and optimism.

Thank you for sharing your story, Amber.

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Surprise: an unexpected or astonishing event, fact, or thing.

Yet, for many people there was always a sneaking suspicion. A wondering. The unthought known. This week’s episode is not one of those cases.

When Sonya first took her DNA test, she was quickly able to make it make sense. It wasn’t until years later that she found a truth she never saw coming.

Sonya shares how she found the identity of her biological father with the help of a search angel, how she’s working through her surprise without clarity from her mother, and how she frames her story in light of her upbringing.

Thank you for sharing your story, Sonya.

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Have you ever made a decision without thinking about the long-term consequences? It’s a pretty normal human experience, right? Now imagine making a decision and never being faced with the consequence for 20 years.

In this week’s episode, Shaun shares how his decision to become a sperm donor in his early twenties carried a gravity he didn’t realize until much later. He reveals how he learned that he is the genetic parent of adult children who may or may not have known that they were donor conceived, how he has connected with them, and how his decision has impacted the people in his life. He also discusses the joy, grief, and responsibility he feels as a biological parent.

Thank you for sharing your story, Shaun.

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“ My quest to find my past would return again and again in the years to come like a lighthouse beacon that flashes bright and then fades only to return again.”

This quote, written by Steve Pemberton and shared by this week’s guest, perfectly captures the hold that DNA surprises have on so many. There are periods of intense focus - on our feelings, research, and desire for connection. These are sometimes followed by periods where thoughts and feelings are fleeting, especially as time goes on. But they often return again, just like a lighthouse beacon.

In this week’s episode, Ellen shares how she learned the truth about her paternity more than two decades ago. Since then, she embarked on a quest to learn the truth about her biological father. She’s encountered acceptance, quiet rejection, and obstacles that have prevented her from fully connecting with her newfound family, but she holds onto her desire for truth and connection.

Thank you for sharing your story, Ellen.

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If DNA surprises were carnival rides, they’d be roller coasters. There are years spent leading up to the test results- the slow climb. The shocking results - the drop. And from there, we find ourselves on twists, turns and loops. We can’t always see where the drops are coming up ahead.

In this week’s episode, Myranda shares how she uncovered the truth about who her biological father is. Her story is one of complicated family dynamics, both with her raised family and her newfound family - and highlights the ups and downs that came with her discovery.

Thank you for sharing your story, Myranda.

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So much of our identity is wrapped up in the stories we tell ourselves. How we came to be, who our parents are, who our grandparents are. What they did how how they lived. For adoptees, many of those details are a mystery.

In this week’s episode, Barry shares how he discovered his father’s incredible story after taking a DNA test. He reveals how learning more about his father created a powerful connection. Barry also reveals where things stand with - and what he has learned about - his biological mother. Through it all, he remains focused on his purpose, one that he found by connecting with his father.

Thank you for sharing your story, Barry.

For more information about Barry's work, see: https://www.addictionedufoundation.orghttps://veteransoberhouse.org/

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