You can’t unring a bell. After a DNA surprise is uncovered, after contact is made with newfound relatives, what’s done is done. Which is why some people are hesitant to dig into the truth. You never know what’s waiting for you on the other side. In this week’s episode, Jeremy shares why he didn’t decide to take his test to confirm the identity of his biological father until his daughters Googled his family. After a tumultuous childhood fraught with instability and abuse, he couldn’t bear the thought of rejection.

Jeremy also reveals what happens when he finally decided to take that test and make contact with his paternal family.

Thank you for sharing your story, Jeremy.

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"It’s a scam!" That’s what some family members say after a DNA surprise is uncovered. "Those tests aren’t accurate." Or, if a long-lost relative reaches out, they’re surely after money. If you’ve listened to this podcast for any length of time, you know that’s not true, but it’s a common response. In this week’s episode, I’m joined by Melissa and Dan, who were both advised to be wary of each other after they connected. Dan was adopted as an infant, and after taking a test to find his biological parents, he found his sister, Melissa.

They share what those first conversations were like and how they’ve forged a special bond in the short time they’ve known each other.

Thank you for sharing your story, Dan and Melissa.

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DNA surprises by their very nature change the lens through which we view family. Our raise families, our newfound families. Things that seemed normal become less so. With hindsight, we gain clarity on what was there all along. In this week’s episode, Angeline shares how her daughter’s desire to take a DNA test fundamentally altered her understanding of her family dynamics. She shares what’s helped her navigate this experience, and how she balances living her truth and hiding it.

Thank you for sharing your story, Angeline.

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At the end of every episode, I ask my guests two questions. The first question is advice for parents who may be keeping a DNA surprise from their children. Most of the time, like 99% of the time, the advice is to tell. To tell because people have the right to know. To tell because trust in your parents is important. To tell because eventually, maybe generations down the line, the truth will come out.

In this week’s episode, Oscar shares his story of what happens when the child of an NPE uncovers a DNA surprise. He shares why struggled with telling his mom, what he learned about his family, and where things stand today.

Thank you for sharing your story, Oscar.

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Dad. Bio dad. Genetic father. Father. After people connect with their newfound biological fathers, they often struggle with what to call them. And what about the dads we grew up with? Raised dad. Step-dad. Birth-certificate dad. Then there’s the well-meaning but perpetually frustrating phrase, “your dad is still your dad.” Love that one.

Many of us do continue calling the dads we grew up with dad. But what if your relationship with your raised father is traumatic? What if you were always distant, and there’s no real love lost after uncovering a DNA surprise?

In this week’s episode, Luisa shares a name I hadn’t heard yet on the show - Fake Dad. She shares how she uncovered her DNA surprise and the impact that it had on her relationship with her parents, as well as the biological father she was able to identify. He’s called “New Dad,” by the way.

A quick warning before this episode begins - there is mention of childhood sexual abuse during our conversation.

Thank you for sharing your story, Luisa.

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The truth will set you free. That’s the hope, right? In this week’s episode, Joe shares how taking a test for fun led to him uncovering the truth about his paternity, which relieved him of the guilt and burden of maintaining a relationship with his birth certificate father. He also discusses how he’s connected with newfound family and what it means to him.

Thank you for sharing your story, Joe.

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Much like life, DNA surprises are rarely tied up in a perfect bow. We don’t get answers to all of the questions we have, and it’s up to us to make peace with that…or keep digging. In this week’s episode, Angie shares how she uncovered that she has a different biological father than her four sisters. She details her effort to find the truth when most of the people with answers have passed, and how she’s navigating that uncertainty.

Thank you for sharing your story, Angie.

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Welcome to season 12 of DNA Surprises.

This season marks nearly four years of sharing these stories. And while each story is unique, the threads that tie our stories together remain strong.

For example, there are many ways that people uncover their discoveries. Sometimes, people learn about their parentage through who they connect to - a new cousin, an aunt, a parent. Others are more shocked by who they don’t connect to.

In this week’s episode Michelli reveals how she learned that the man she believed was her father was not genetically related to her at all. She shares what she learned about her biological father and why her feelings about him are complicated, how she connected with her sisters, and why she doesn’t want to hear any additional stories about what happened.

Thank you for sharing your story, Michelli.

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