Today we replay the first in a number of popular episodes. We believe it's still a very relevant topic!!!

In today’s episode, we use a question posed to us by one of our listeners to have a discussion around what to do when your spouse seemingly pulls the old switch-a-roo and wants to make a major life change, despite previously agreeing with each other.

“Hi Destination Marriage! My husband and I are curious to hear your thoughts regarding the situation that has us currently at an impass. After 5 years of marriage my husband is adamant about having kids even though we both agreed prior to getting married that kids would not be part of our future. I was very open and honest with my husband that my desire was to be a career woman and I never felt the need to have children. He is constantly bringing up the topic and it’s causing us to argue. I feel misled because he knew my stance on the topic and agreed prior to committing to marriage. Where do we go from here now that we are both on completely different planets when it comes to having children?”

• We first discuss some general thoughts around these scenarios
  • Importance of pre-marital counseling
  • Importance of open and thoughtful communication – try to get to the bottom of what might be driving the firm stance? Fear, rejection, bad childhood?
  • When you should sacrifice and changing your stance in order to show love for your spouse
  • If you do change your stance, a commitment to not get bitter – ever!

Questions to ask???

• Is this simply a result of the husband changing over the last five years or did he deliberately mislead his wife in hopes that she would have a change of heart ?
• Is there really any room for compromise? This is a huge ask of the wife who clearly is career focused and could potentially have to put her career aspirations on hold.
• Be sensitive but also highlight the very real fact that when you’re holding that baby in your arms for the first time, your entire world changes and you can’t imagine life without that baby

Other similar scenarios:

• Husband and wife both work and contribute to the household income. Wife then decides she no longer wants to work after having their first child so she can be a stay at home mom. The option of the mom remaining home to focus on caring for their child was never discussed because both husband and wife agreed the wife would remain working in order to continue having two incomes. Now what?
• Same scenario but the husband wants his wife to stay at home and quit her 9-5 to soley focus on being a mom caring for the home. She however is excited to be a new mom but also loves working and wants to return to work which is creating an issue within the marriage.

• Join us as Tommy and I break down the latest 90 day fiancé arrest, our thoughts on the Tinder Swindler documentary and our personal experience with vitamin infusions.

• 90 Day fiancee arrest: In the latest 90 day fiancee news, Geoffrey Pashcel from season 4 of 90 day fiancee before the 90 days has been sentenced to 18 years in prison for domestic abuse and aggravated kidnapping. Now we both were wondering how they were able to sentence him to 18 years but apparently, Geoffrey had priors under his belt. Two federal drug charges for drug trafficking and possession with intent to sell a controlled substance were already on his wrap sheet when he was chosen to be on the show.

• Geoffrey portrayed himself as an outdoorsy single dad, fitness buff, entrepreneur, actor who is looking for love when he came on the show. His 90 day love interest, Varya, has made the move from Russia to the US and is still supporting him. The abuse charges against him were from his previous fiancee from before his 90 day fiancee days, Kristen Wilson.

• This man has to be the biggest narcissist to even apply to be on a tv show. Also, does anyone at TCL conduct a background check on these characters? I need to know!!! As much as I like to watch the drama unfold on this show, I would prefer they not employ abusers or kidnappers.

• TinderSwindler

• If you think that was alarming…just wait till you watch the TinderSwindler!!!! This new documentary walks us through a disturbing, alarming web of a story of a con man who used tinder to find his victims. …if you weren’t already uneasy about online dating, this may be the story that ends your desire to swipe right.

• First off, the story is told very well. They did a great job narrating, sharing detailed information from voicemail messages, texts and videos.

• Questions:

• How did he even start such a scam?
• How much money are we even talking about?
• Is this guy smart or is he just so desperate that he’s willing to try just about anything to live a lavish life he clearly didn’t earn?

• We’re trying new things in 2022!! We went to a wellness center to get vitamin infusions last week to help us get that boost of energy and replenish our bodies after being under the weather in December. The vitamin cocktail we chose was the Meyers cocktail – describe what this one is for and what’s included.

• IV – Drip – Myers Cocktail
  • What does the data say?
    • Science Based Medicine A closer look at vitamin injections. Scott Gavura on May 24, 2013

• “But despite all the hype and all the endorsements, there is no credible evidence to suggest that routine vitamin infusions are necessary or offer any meaningful health benefit. Vitamin infusions are a marketing creation, giving the illusion you’re doing something for your health, but lacking any demonstrable efficacy. What’s more concerning, providers of vitamin therapies target their marketing at those fighting life-threatening illnesses like cancer, selling unproven treatments in the absence of good scientific evidence that they are beneficial. The intravenous vitamin industry is a sideshow to science-based health care. Yes, there is an established medical role for injectable vitamins, though it’s no energy-boosting cure-all – they’re used to replace what we should obtain in our diet.”
• Intravenous micronutrient therapy (Myers' Cocktail) for fibromyalgia: a placebo-controlled pilot study

• Did it work?
• What did we feel?
• Cost effective?

• Topic: Episode #55 - Jackie's Adele experience, celeb breakups & annual planning for 2022
• Jump right into Adele news in Vegas
  • Talk about past trip
  • Residencies – used to be where performers go to die
  • Sucks to plan a trip around the concert to then have it cancel
• Jason Mamoa & Lisa Bonet Divorce
  • Jackie to read their full statement (other page)
  • Discuss the announcement – thoughts good/bad/who cares?
  • What happened, why divorce?
  • Age difference in marriages – does it work when the man is significantly younger than the woman?
• Annual Planning
  • Dive into where we went this year and why.
  • Discuss the home – Air BNB
  • Recap of annual planning goals, history, structure. Reference previous episode for greater details
  • Instead of going into specific details of the entire process, we wanted to instead talk about what has changed, improved, gotten worse?
    • Ways we have changed that aren’t positive? – Dreaming big vs reality?
    • Ways we have improved the process – discuss ideas from each of us.
  • What did we focus on this year vs. other years?
    • Heavy focus on a positive, forward looking vision for 2022. After the chaos of 2020 and 2021, we only looked to the future instead of dissecting the past year.
    • We spent a lot of time discussing our vision for the podcast and then writing out specific goals and steps to achieve them
    • We talked a lot about traveling and upgrades we want to do to our home.