A couple of weeks before the Olympic surf event at Teahupoo, a teenage Australian photographer was found floating face-down during a heavy eight-foot Teahupoo swell.

Nineeten-year-old Byron Mclouhglin, who was shooting the action from an inflatable bodyboard, had been sucked over the falls on an earlier set and had ended up in the lagoon. The former tour surfer Michel Bourez went in to pick him up and brought him back to the channel.

Thirty minutes later he was found face down in the water by American photographer Ryan Craig and Tahitian bodyboarder Angelo Faraire.

Mcloughlin had blue lips and foam pouring out of his mouth

If it wasn't for the courage of the fearless Tahitian crew, this minnow would be out!

Over the course of this forty-minute episode of the very occasional Dirty Water podcast, Byron Mcloughlin recounts his Teahupoo brush with death, as well as his almost fatal encounter with Padang Padang in Bali two years ago.

Compelling!

BeachGrit has always held Kolohe Andino close to our hearts. I knew his daddy Dino during his wild nineties epoch and first met the boy prodigy, then sixteen, on a holiday to the Canary Islands where he exhibited what were then exotic flavours of aerials.

A perfect fit for Chas Smith Hates Surfing to discuss life off tour, the rise of the San Clemente squad, Griff, Cole, Crosby, Kade, at the expense of the Brazilian Storm and the death of the old school surf industry.

“Chas hates surfing less than me,” Kolohe wrote to me during preliminary discussions.

And, later, “I know I’m crazy but I might be delusional.”

Rarely do I get as much pleasure as when the telephone connects to the 1988 world champion Barton Lynch, who cinched his title at perfect eight-to-twelve-foot Pipeline but is now more famous for his oratorical gymkhanas on WSL broadcasts.

A few days ago, BeachGrit outed Barton as a filthy communist bastard, which you can read here, and which was swiftly refuted, here.

A very good time to pick up the telephone, I figured.

And, reader, I do wish this was a video broadcast, just so you could see the way his three-month beard twitches and his body quivers with excitement when points are made.

You may not always, or ever, agree with Barton, but he makes for great company.

And, it’s a pantomime I was thrilled to be a part of. – Derek Rielly