Believe it or not, we know what’s been missing in our lives and it’s flare bartending and straight, white dudes. That’s right, this week we’ve got a perfectly balanced mix of alcohol and testosterone as we travel into the world of bartending with Tom Cruise and the 1988 flick Cocktail. Obviously there was only one man to call for for this episode and that's Chicago cocktail icon Danny Shapiro, founding partner of Scofflaw Group. So pour yourself a drink and join us for everything it takes to succeed in the hospitality industry, plus that time Elizabeth was paid to walk a bar patron like a dog!

CW: suicide, slam poetry

It takes a lot of chutzpah to grab your bestie’s hand and drive your Thunderbird off a cliff rather than succumb to the injustice of being a woman stuck in a man’s world. Honestly, Thelma and Louise might just be our forever heroes. To talk all about this iconic road trippin’ opus to female friendship and feminine rage, we knew just who to call -- our very own Team Tuff Muff pals and iconic besties Amanda Myers and Julia Thiel. Join us for everything friendship, bike miles, and the essential question: if the car’s going off the cliff, who’s driving?

CW: rape, suicide, patriarchy

In 1991 Madonna was at the height of her fame, traveling the world on her Blonde Ambition tour and filming her documentary Truth or Dare. It’s impossible to hear “Madonna” and “Blonde Ambition” and not immediately think cone bras and sex-sex-sex. But rewatching the film, it became clear to us that “sex” for Madonna was much more about performance and provocation than true intimacy. So we brought intimacy coach Karen Yates to the pod to help us parse out the differences between sex and intimacy, consent and communication, and to answer Adrienne’s burning question: why are all the middle-aged men out here on these streets tryna choke a bitch?

CW: sexual assault, LGBTQIA+ discrimination, Kevin Costner

Of Fast Times at Ridgemont High, our hometown boi Roger Ebert said, “Stacy’s sexual experiences all turn out to have an unnecessary element of realism, so that we have to see her humiliated, disappointed, and embarrassed. Whatever happened to upbeat sex?” Clearly Rog never had sex with a high school boy! It is disappointing! Humiliating! Embarrassing! This week we’re reliving all our high school sexual horrors with high-kickin’ Chicago comedian Amy Sumpter and talking everything abortion. Shout out Planned Parenthood! We see you!

CW: dating high school boys, abortion

What’s more hopeful than watching a bunch of teenagers pursue their creative dreams? Maybe middle-aged ladies continuing to pursue creative dreams against mountains of rejection, the demands of motherhood, and literally all odds??? That’s right folks, this week we went all the way back to 1980 and the high school of performing arts with FAME. Our guest, Corrbette Pasko, is not only a writer, actor, and producer, she’s also a performing arts grad and a full-on expert in tenacity. Join us for a great discussion about teaching creativity, hustle, DIY culture, and how the hell you keep going.

CW: casting couch abuse

It’s a helluva corporate fantasy: oppressed coworkers join forces to kidnap their terrible boss and take over the company, increasing productivity and worker satisfaction by a zillion percent! So goes the classic film 9 to 5 featuring all-star gems Dolly Parton, Lily Tomlin, and Jane Fonda. These tenacious (and hilarious) gals got us thinking about the role of capitalism in our own lives. To help us diagnose society’s corporate ills, we brought back to the pod comedian and trans activist Dina Nina Martinez-Rutherford, who’s putting her money where her mouth is as a newly elected alderperson in Madison, WI.

CW: workplace violence, misogyny, capitalism and the 1%

It’s summertime in Chicago and our favorite four-letter word is CAMP. Yes, the kids are away so pour yourself a vodka and settle in for MOMMIE DEAREST, a film about an aging Hollywood actress trying to stay relevant while smacking around her adopted kids and screaming iconic lines like: NO WIRE HANGERS! EVER! To help us dig into why CAMP and QUEER go hand in hand, we brought in an expert. David Cerda is the co-founder and artistic director of Hell in a Handbag Productions, a Chicago-based theatrical group formed to celebrate and preserve the art of high camp. David helps us unpack all the ways childhood trauma can turn you into a bitchy queen and what to do when, well, that’s not working for you anymore.

CW: alcoholism, emotional abuse, generational trauma

YO, ADRIENNE!!! That's right, it's ROCKY IV week on Don't Ruin This for Me! Rocky's got it all—feats of strength, middle-aged athleticism, the particular melancholy of an aging body—and we've got the perfect guest to help us unpack the Apollo-Drago-Rocky of it all. MALICE WITH CHAINS (aka Alice Gleason), is a star soccer player and Windy City Roller OG, here to drop all the tea on body slamming bitches and Elizabeth's origin story as a founder of Chicago's roller derby.