In this episode, Kat Kuczynska is joined by Dr. Mark Leary to talk about the "Goldilocks Zone" for self-reflection. They explore how to strike the perfect balance between too much and too little self-awareness and discuss the evolutionary roots of stress responses, the importance of controlling negative emotions, and the perils of excessive self-focus.

Dr. Leary also shares his insights on social anxiety, the impact of social media, and the necessity of intellectual humility. Drawing from his research and life experiences, Dr. Leary guides us through the complexities of self-esteem, mindfulness, and the importance of community. Tune in for a rich, thought-provoking conversation aimed at helping you navigate the intricacies of the human mind and social connections.

Here are the Highlights:

00:01 Surprising Insights: The Curse of the Self

05:06 The Evolution of Self-Reflection: From Beneficial to Harmful

12:30 Mindfulness and Overthinking: Finding the Balance

17:15 Self-Esteem: Debunking Myths and Finding the Truth

27:02 Self-Esteem as a Social Gauge: How Others Affect Our Self-Worth

32:31 The Dangers of Extreme Individualism

37:00 Impression Management: Navigating Social Perceptions

43:45 Social Media’s Impact on Our Internal Gauge

47:58 The Importance of Context in Caring About Others’ Opinions

52:11 Embracing Realism: Finding Your Goldilocks Zone

56:43 Intellectual Humility: Recognizing We Could Be Wrong

1:02:18 Finding Balance in a Complex World: The Path to a High-Quality Life

1:06:17 Retirement and Ongoing Research: Intellectual Humility and Beyond

About Dr. Mark Leary

Mark Leary is a researcher, writer, and Professor Emeritus of Psychology and Neuroscience at Duke University who is recognised internationally as a leading expert in social and personality psychology. During his career, Mark has published 12 books and more than 250 scholarly articles and chapters on topics dealing with social motivation, emotion, self-relevant thought, and psychological well-being. He has also recorded three courses for the Teaching Company’s Great Courses series: Understanding the Mysteries of Human Behavior, Why You Are Who You Are: Investigations into Human Personality, and Your Public Persona: Self-presentation in Everyday Life.

Mark is a Fellow of the American Psychological Association, the Association for Psychological Science, and the Society for Personality and Social Psychology, for which he served as President in 2014. He received the Lifetime Career Award from the International Society for Self and Identity and was co-recipient of the Scientific Impact Award (with Roy Baumeister) from the Society for Experimental Social Psychology. Mark was founding editor of the journal, Self and Identity, and editor of Personality and Social Psychology Review and Character and Context, the blog of the Society for Personality and Social Psychology.

After 39 years as a faculty member, Mark retired from Duke University in 2019 and now spends much of his time writing and speaking about human behaviour.

About Kat Kuczynska

Successful entrepreneur and a mother turns into a wisdom seeker to figure out how to thrive in an ever-changing and challenging world.

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