We interview Dr. Sara Kuburic, existential psychotherapist, writer, and columnist for USA Today, about how existential psychotherapy can help us to flourish. In particular, we discuss Sara’s work on “self-loss”: what it is, how to identify it and rebuild our sense of self; how overcoming self-loss can help us flourish; and how to live a more authentic and meaningful life. Sara is the author of It’s On Me: Accept Hard Truths, Discover Your Self, and Change Your Life (Penguin Random House, 2023). The book is a guide to identifying self-loss – one of our greatest unspoken human sufferings, that feeling of being estranged or disconnected from your true self – so we can stop feeling the pain and emptiness that comes from performing or observing life, rather than living it. Sarah was born in Yugoslavia and raised in Canada, and completed her doctorate in psychotherapy science in Vienna, under the supervision of Dr. Alfried Längle, the founder of existential analysis. She is a trauma-informed clinician with a person-centered approach that is grounded in existential analysis, as well as somatic and experiential techniques. She specializes in moral trauma, identity, existential crisis, and relationship issues. Sara is passionate about helping people seek change and live authentic, free, and meaningful lives. Her interest in psychology stems from her personal experience living through wars, navigating complex relationships, and continually learning what it means to be human. Learn more and subscribe at flourishfmpodcast.com Follow us: YouTube @flourishfmcast Instagram @flourishfmpodcast TikTok @flourishfmpodcast Twitter @flourishfmcast Facebook @flourishfmcast LinkedIn @flourishfmpodcast Dr. Sara Kuburic: Website Substack Instagram LinkedIn TikTok YouTube Facebook Twitter It’s On Me: Accept Hard Truths, Discover Your Self, and Change Your Life (Penguin Random House, 2023) Timestamps: 00:00:05 - Introduction to Dr. Sarah Kuburic 00:00:26 - Understanding Self-Loss 00:00:37 - Sara's Approach to Psychotherapy 00:01:05 - The Existential Lens on Flourishing 00:02:02 - Defining Existential Psychotherapy 00:03:04 - Core Concepts in Existential Psychotherapy 00:03:38 - Empowering Clients to Face Truths 00:04:08 - Sara’s Specialisms: Moral Trauma and Identity 00:04:42 - Insights from Existential Psychotherapy Practice 00:05:05 - Study on Moral Injury in Infidelity 00:06:20 - Understanding our Sense of Self 00:07:09 - The Ingredients of our Sense of Self 00:08:33 - Constructing vs. Finding the Self 00:09:34 - Self-Loss and the Journey to Self-Discovery 00:10:19 - The Process of Creating the Self 00:11:42 - The Role of Community in Self-Formation 00:12:17 - Trauma and Its Impact on the Self 00:13:33 - The Importance of Facing Ourselves 00:14:15 - The Role of Responsibility in Flourishing 00:16:09 - The Complexity of Human Psychology and Trauma 00:17:33 - The Connection Between Trauma and Self-Loss 00:18:32 - The Role of Flourishing in Existential Psychotherapy 00:19:32 - The Complexity of Moral Trauma and Infidelity 00:20:37 - The Relationship Between Flourishing and Suffering 00:21:07 - The Importance of Community and Humor in Well-Being 00:22:21 - Psychological Flexibility and Inner Safety 00:23:27 - The Role of Responsibility in a Good Life 00:25:06 - Building Inner Safety and Trust in Oneself 00:26:08 - The Empowering Message of Responsibility 00:27:16 - The Role of Reflection in Building Well-Being 00:28:46 - Practical Tips for Self-Discovery and Well-Being 00:30:14 - The Role of Community in Authentic Living 00:31:24 - Using Humor and Reflection for Self-Understanding 00:32:20 - The Runaway Bride Analogy for Self-Discovery 00:33:11 - The Importance of Continual Self-Exploration 00:34:03 - Disconnection from Self: Emotions, Body, and Mind 00:35:17 - Cultural Observations on Flourishing and Self 00:36:07 - The Role of Community and Confidence in Self-Formation 00:37:04 - Finding Meaning in Suffering for Fulfillment 00:38:58 - Psychological Richness and Flexibility 00:39:55 - WEIRD Populations in Psychological Research 00:40:05 - Building Psychological Agility and Inner Safety 00:41:09 - The Relationship with Oneself and Inner Safety 00:42:12 - The Impact of Meaning and Happiness on Well-Being 00:43:45 - The Importance of Emotional and Psychological Flexibility 00:44:59 - Inner Safety and Standing Behind Oneself 00:45:44 - Journaling for Self-Reflection and Well-Being 00:47:55 - The Role of Community and Humor in a Good Life 00:49:28 - Final Thoughts on Self-Reflection and Well-Being 00:50:36 - Where to Find Sara’s Book
