In our culture today, civil conversations are the exception, not the norm. Unfortunately, people tend to gravitate towards yelling or avoiding the conversation all together. 1 Peter 3:15 says, “but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect.”

1. Make sure your heart is right
2. Make a defense (not defensive); give a reason
3. Do it with gentleness and respect

Gentleness- A sense of humility. Titus 3:2 says, ” to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people.” Respect – Remember that the other person is an Imago Dei, they are human, and the deserve respect. Pastor Alex interviewed Jason Jiminez: What are the big 3 excuses for not having conversations in the first place? Excuse #1 – I’m just not that smart! (The enemy uses that lie to make us silent.) Excuse #2 – I get too defensive. (We either rage outwardly or inwardly.) Excuse #3 – I get uncomfortable. (We avoid the conversation and things get worse.) What are the different types of conversationalists? Avoider – This person enables the issue. They are reluctant to engage. “I don’t want to talk about this.” Aggressor – This person is a controller who dominates the discussion. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Advocator – This person engages the person and models Colossians 4:6 and Ephesians 4:15. “Can you help me better understand your position?” How to be an Advocator: To begin, keep these two Scriptures in mind: Romans 12:10 and 1 Peter 2:17

1. Relate – envision yourself as a friend. Build rapport and be mindful of body language and tone. Be present in the conversation. Be vulnerable.
2. Investigate – Be a journalist and ask inquire about what you really have questions about . Try to understand why the other person believes the way they do. Remember, people like talking about themselves. You will find the conversation my go much further than you thought it would.
3. Translate – Ask these 3 questions:

• What did I learn about them and their journey. Repeat it back to them.
• Where do we disagree?
• Where do we go from here? I want to be your friend, and I want to know more. (Avoiders and Aggressors never get here…)

Remember, 1 Peter 3:15 speaks to the reason that drives us. We have the hope of Christ, and that is what drives us. Share your hope. Believe it with all of your heart and love others with it.

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