Dive into the transformative power of daily pauses and discover the ancient wisdom of Atman merged with modern psychology. Explore how Internal Family Systems (IFS) can guide highly sensitive souls through chaos towards inner calm. Learn how to embrace your true Self amidst the whirlwind of life, find clarity, and navigate challenges with ease. Join us on a journey from chaos to calm, unlocking the secrets of inner peace and self-compassion.

Saying “no” is hard, especially for us highly sensitive high achievers. We often find ourselves caught between our people pleasing and our relentless drive to set goals and achieve them.

The result?

A profound sense of overwhelm, scattered thoughts, frazzled nerves, and a one-way ticket to burnout.

So, here are 10 ways to say 'no' with examples and why they work.

From my perspective, my siblings just seemed to naturally do well in school - and I struggled. What seemed to come so easily to them was an uphill climb for me.

Especially math.

I remember being in grade seven, 12 years old and my parents realizing that I actually didn’t understand multiplication. I had just memorized the times tables. So when it came to fractions, positive and negative numbers and basic algebra - I was lost.

The weight of knowing that I wasn’t living up to what I thought was my parents’ expectations was devastating. My highly sensitive heart really struggled and I decided moving forward that I would do everything I could to prevent that from happening again.

You may think that this was my Inner Perfectionist’s origin story where I always pushed myself to be perfect and do things as perfectly as possible. Although it is their origin story, it’s just not in the way you’d think.

There’s a saying that’s been around for a while on social media that goes something like “If you think you don’t have time for something, try saying it’s not a priority’ and see how that feels.”

I hate it. For so many reasons.

It makes me wonder, if I were to ask you to list what you see as a priority, there would probably be a long list of things that are all priorities for you. But then you also have another list of your to-do’s for the day that keeps getting longer no matter how many things you scratch off.

So if it IS a priority AND you don’t have time, then what do you do?

Surprisingly, the answer lies back prior to the Industrial Revolution of the late 1800’s.

I often get asked if burnout is more prevalent now that it has been in the past. The truth? It depends on how you look at it.

Answering this question isn’t as simple as looking at the data and saying “yes” or “no”. There are many contributory factors for burnout that have evolved over time, but there are also changes in our society and the expectations we have for each other. There’s also changes in how we’re raised, the circumstances we’re living in, and how our world is being built to support us…or not.

This leads to a really important discussion about how the year we’re born can impact our risk and experience of burnout. No, I’m not talking about some woo-woo astrological something or other - I’m talking about generation gaps.

We all have unique ways of connecting with others, and establishing boundaries (or a lack of boundaries) in relationships. These patterns or attachment styles, which are rooted in our early experiences, play a crucial role in shaping who we are and how we achieve work-life balance… or not and eventually end up burnt out.

Now, you might be wondering, what do attachment styles have to do with burnout?

The answer?

More than you realize.

Letting go of control isn’t easy for me. And the idea of “surrendering” and “trusting” in some all-knowing being - forget about it.

But, I’ve learned a way that works for me, my traumatized nervous system, and my highly sensitive nature.

If I can learn how to let go of control and surrender, I know you can too.

We just have to start in the right place.

What's the secret to making changes that last?

Is it willpower?

Is it discipline?

Is it committment?

Maybe.

But in my experience the winning factor was actually something else entirely.